A/N: I hated writing this chapter, I really did. My forte is fluff and this... well this is definitely not fluff in the least. Anyway, it had to be done. Also, I got my laptop back, which is great! Turns out the good people of my local Future Shop chipped a piece of my motherboard and ended up charging me three-hundred bucks for it! Screw you if you're reading this, Future Shop computer-repair-dwellers!

Oh, and I forgot to mention that, despite some continuity errors that I face, this story is set in 2002. Please ignore any and all references I have ever made to shows/movies/popular culture during this story, I deeply apologize for. I can't tell you why, but it has something to do with the sequel, as this story may only have six or seven chapters left to it, but I give you the big speech of thanks at the very, very end.

Don't forget to drop a line if you have the time and please enjoy!

Chapter Twenty-Six: Where Do We Go From Here?

Have you ever felt something die?

I don't mean watched someone die, or heard about someone who died, I mean literally felt the life drain out of them? I have.

I was seven when it happened the first time, or maybe eight, I can't remember, and I really just don't care. Anyway, it happened in my room at the hospital, and even though I was young, I still remember, it.

We were given a plant, all the patients I mean, I guess the staff were trying to compensate for actual friends as none of the rest of the loonies in that bin ever got to spend any time together, and so, they gave us flora. I remember mine was purple, a beautiful, deep shade of violet with a yellow center. It was just a baby plant, with it's tiny leaves and easily breakable stem, and it was the cutest thing I'd even seen. I named her Gully.

Gully was the prettiest flower in the world, I thought, and I took great care of her; watering her when she needed it, and placing her near my window so that she could get what little sunshine we had. But still, Gully was a flower, and even though she technically didn't have feelings, I could still tell that she wanted to be outside with all the other plants. I guess she thought so too. She lasted a week before I woke up one morning to find her dead and shriveled up. The nurses said there just wasn't enough sunlight, but I knew better than that, Gully died because she was lonely, and for a long time, I thought I would be the same.

Erik was the same way when I buried my face into his neck after finally telling him what I'd been holding in so long. My secret was burning a hole in my chest and instantly, I felt relief flood though my system. I curled up on his lap and sobbed as he turned to stone around me. And stone he was, for he was as comforting as a statue. This made me cry harder as Erik's hands found my shoulders and pushed me away from him enough so that I was looking directly at him.

He looked at me for a long time, his eyes scanning my face, looking for something, I didn't know what. I didn't care what either. I wanted him to say something, anything, even if it wasn't what i wanted to hear.

"Erik?" I croaked but got no reply. My heart froze in my chest as he lifted reached his hand into his jacket pocket and removed his handkerchief. Gently as I'm sure he was trying to be, he wiped my tears away, letting his cold hands brush over my warm, tear-streaked cheeks. I closed my eyes and let a few more tears spill out before I felt I migraine coming on. I winced and tried to shake it away and focus on nothing but the man I loved, the Opera Ghost.

"Why do you do this to me?" He asked in an utterly soft voice. This triggered a few more tears leaking out onto my already wet face, but he merely wiped them away and sighed. I had no answer to his question, I couldn't feel anything. I was stupid to think he may have feelings for me as well, I'm not pretty enough or gifted enough or anything. I'm nothing.

"I don't, I mean I-I didn't..." I stammered and then shook my head. It was utterly impossible.

"You didn't mean to kiss me?" This question makes me slightly angry as I wriggle out of Erik's strong grip and put my arms at my sides.

"Of course I meant to!" I exclaimed in such a deafening tone, one that bounced back off the walls and rung again in my ears. My gaze turned stony as new shock blossomed on The Phantom's face. "Did you mean to kiss me?" I asked in a steel-hard voice, one that hopefully made him a little bit uncomfortable.

"It was not right of me, inappropriate, I should say-" I cut him off with a glare.

"I don't know about you, but you were the one making physical contact! I think you wanted to kiss me!" I said in a loud voice accompanied with the look of death. I thought that maybe Erik would give in right now and possibly show that he loved me too, but he didn't.

"And then to just... good Lord, Annika, you have no idea..." He trailed off after rambling for a few minutes as if he hadn't heard me. I was having none of this, instead I gripped his arms and looked him dead in the eye.

"Then help me understand." I intended to command, but I was so uncertain that it sort of came out like a strange question.

"Annika, I have longed to hear those words from a woman for quite a long time," He said and for the briefest of moments, I was happy. I knew what true happiness was for the three seconds he paused, trying to find the right words to go on. "But not from you." It hit me like a wall.

I almost felt like I had died, right there in front of Erik, and rigor mortise was setting in. I felt paralyzed instantly, and it spread through my system to my brain, which stopped functioning, and then to my heart, which stopped beating a long time ago.

I backed away from him, my eyes wide and leaking salty tears.

"W-what?" I ask, my voice cracking Erik shakes his head.

"You are too young," He begins and I'm too stunned to speak. There's a crushing feeling in my chest as I stagger backwards, trying to get away from him as he rises from his organ bench to step towards me. He stops, noticing my distress and holds his hands up as if to tell me he won't hurt me, physically anyway. "Far too young to know what love truly is, Annika." The pain and the sadness leaves me instantly as I stop crying and take a defensive stance, wiping my tears away and suppressing the urge to growl.

"Shut up." I whisper and shock is evident on his face. "That's right, I told you to shut up and maybe listen for once!" I said in a louder, much more confident voice. "I am not too young to know what love is. You just can't feel it! You have no idea what I'm going through right now, what you've put me through!" I was shouting by the time I was done speaking, my voice having rose in pitch and volume as I struggled to get the words out without tripping over them in my haste to express the feelings that were building up.

"You have no right to speak to me like that!" Erik shouts right back at me and suddenly, he's right in front of me; his mask still on the floor next to his organ bench and his wig right next to it. I notice that his deformity spreads like a disease up the left side of his scalp, forcing his natural, blonde hair to be thin and wispy.

I can't see his beauty anymore. All I see is red.

"I have every right! You are one who did this, you are the one who kissed me back, you are the one who gave me hope!" My voice is choppy as I can barely believe that it's coming from me in the first place.

"You are the one at fault, girl! I shall not be blamed for this!" The crack of my hand the undamaged part of Erik's face reverberated through the cave. He stared at me in shock while I tried to ignore the stinging feeling in my hand. Hitting him didn't make me feel better, in fact, it made me feel much, much worse.

"I'm sorry." I began but he only gave me a glare. "I'm sorry I ever thought that a corpse could love me back!" I shrieked and turned on my heel.

I said nothing as I walked over towards the water of the lake. I was wearing my golden dress, which was heavier than anything and as soon as I stepped into the water off the shore, it began to pull me down. I resisted all urge of fight against it as I sunk below the slightly dirty water. I closed my eyes and let the water go over my head.

Not two seconds later, I felt arms around my waist, pulling me back up to the surface, forcing me to take in the oxygen that was waiting. I didn't really need it, as I hadn't been under long enough for them to even start to hurt. I fought against Erik's grip and pulled away from him, stalking back up onto the shore and sitting down, rubbing my eyes that had begun to burn from all my tears.

"You want to die?" Erik asked in a soft voice. I noticed that he was panting harder than I was and despite my efforts, my heart still skipped a beat that he'd run so fast to jump in and save my life... again.

"Yes," I whispered back. "And yet, no." I pulled the sopping wet rag that had kept my hair up in a loose ponytail and flung it to the far side of the lair. "I only did that to punish you. I'm sorry." Erik sighed and sat down beside me. "And I'm sorry I hit you." It was my turn to sigh as I gently lifted a hand to touch his pale cheek that now had a light pink hand print on it. "And I'm sorry I called you a corpse. The fact is, you're a lot livelier than any of the half-dead hicks that wander around upstairs." I confessed.

"I accept your apology, Annika," Erik said after a brief pause. "And I offer mine in turn, for I am truly sorry for what I said." I nodded, holding out my hand for him to shake, which he cautiously did.

We sat in silence for a few moments as I let the pain I'd built up over the thought that Erik might hate me fade away into smoke. The heart-crushing anguish was still there, and it was still potent, but i kept the tears from my eyes as Erik stared out over the still, glassy waters of his personal lake that I had almost ended my entire existence in.

"So," I said after around two hours of just sitting there, him moving no closer to me and me wanting to shift closer to him. "Where do we go from here?"