Hour 51 and the rest of our third night together

Ok, girl talk with Lanie about the boys is definitely in the top 5 of things to do to make Castle squirm. Seeing him fidgeting while I was dialing was hilarious and those first moments were too good:

"Hey girl! Tired of writer boy already?"

"Not yet, but getting there fast!"

"Hey!"

"Girl am I on speaker phone with you and Castle?"

"Yep. Gotta a problem with that MD?"

"None what so ever Castle. I'm pleasantly surprised that she was willing to do this."

"You do know I'm still here right?"

"Oh girl, don't try to deny it, this is not your usual self. Kate Beckett is not the kind of girl who shares girl talk with her man."

"Yeah, well, not so easy to avoid it when said man is the master of girl talk. After all, you did talk about us with him instead of talking to me!"

"And why am I to blame for the fact that you couldn't hold on to your phone?! You're the one who allowed him to take it!"

"Either way, you talked to him and got his version of what happened instead of hanging up and waiting for me to call back."

"Kate, I've been waiting four years to see this happening, I wasn't going to wait until you got all your pretty little thoughts in order to hear all about it!"

"Either way Lanie, nothing you say can refute the fact that he's the biggest lady in the room."

"Hey! Lady or not, I have feelings, and you're beginning to hurt them!"

"What did I say, he's a girl."

"He sure is. So, what've you been up to?"

"Oh, nothing much, just walked som, shared a nap, generally veg'd around. Just a nice, quiet day."

"Good. You deserved as many of those as you can get. Both of you."

And both of us answered "Thank you." She seems to find it funny, for we hear a laugh coming from the other side of the phone.

"So? Why are you guys calling me so late in to the day? Or early in the night, you choose."

"Actually Lanie, is Espo there with you?"

"As a matter of fact, he happens to be here yeah. Why?"

"Good, we need to talk to him, well, both of you, but we kind of wanted to have your opinion on the matter first…"

"I'm listening."

"We're having dinner with the Ryan's tomorrow-"

She cut's in before I can finish that sentence: "And you want Javi there but you're afraid of how he's going to behave?"

"Yep, that pretty much sums it up…I need to try and fix this Lanie. They both did what they thought was best, and I can't stand to the idea of them fighting because of my selfishness."

"Leave it to me. Give me the time and the place and he'll be there with an olive branch as a peace offer and all his ideas back in place."

Castle chimes in: "Great. Uhm, 6:30, in my place."

"Ok, see you both there! And you better be treating my girl right Castle, or you'll have to worry about me a hell of a lot more than Ryan about Javi!"

"Lanie! We've already talked about this! He's treating me more than OK."

"Good. And you better be treating him in the same way, cause the threat goes both ways!" And with that, she hangs up. No good bye, no see you tomorrow. Why doesn't that surprise me?

After we hung up, I look up to see hurt in Castle's eyes. What did I do know? "Hey, Castle, what's wrong? I thought you were OK with the whole gang coming here…If you changed your mind we can still go out, make something up…"

"No, that's OK, I really am OK with the guys coming over…"

"Then what's wrong? Why are you sad all of the sudden?"

"Why didn't you mention the book?"

Now I'm completely lost. What's he talking about? "What do you mean?"

"When she asked us what we'd been up to, you said nothing much, mentioned our walk in the park and the nap, but you didn't mention us reading Frozen Heat nor candle lit dinner outside…"

"First of all, you told me I'm not allowed to talk about it. But more importantly, and the real reason for that matter, I didn't want to share it with Lanie, not because I don't think it one of the most romantic gestures anyone has ever had towards me, but because I want to keep it as our secret. I love the fact that after only a 48 hour courtship you've already given me a free pass to read your unpublished book." I smile reassuringly at him and he seems to believe me. But his doubtfulness makes me ask: "Castle, what is it? Why are you so unsure of yourself all of the sudden?"

"I don't know. It's just that Kate, you mean so much to me, you're such an important piece of my life, that a part of me can't avoid thinking that I'm somehow going to mess this up. I don't want to take you for granted, nor your feelings or our relationship. And to me, sharing the book with you, in some way talking about what happened, is the highlight of this day. And you not mentioning it made me think that maybe to you it wasn't that important…"

I take his face in both of my hands because I need to make a point and for it to get through his thin skull: "Castle, I love you. I love what we share and what we're building together. I want, I need for you to accept that, cherish that knowledge and embrace it because this is it. I'm not ashamed of what we started. The fact that I want to be privy of it doesn't mean I want to hide it from the public eye. I just… what we shared this past two days has been so good, so special, that I want to keep it between us. All of it, not just sharing that first chapter. I guess I didn't share it with Lanie because it's one of the few things that's really ours. Taking a nap is something she could have imagined us doing, especially after the last couple of days. And the walk in Central Park was something we did in public, so for all I know there could be a picture of the two of sharing a hot dog on page 6. But you, me and Frozen Heat? That's ours."

"Would that bother you?"

"Whole sentences Castle. Would what bother me?"

"A picture of the two of us sharing a hot dog."

"No, it wouldn't. I honestly wouldn't mind if there's a picture of today's lunch on page 6. My dad might wonder what's going on, Gates would probably ban you from the precinct if I eventually decide to go back. But no Castle, I wouldn't mind if every bimbo out there finds out you're no longer bachelor number 9." Seeing him lost for words, I lean in and kiss him. Thoroughly. And suddenly, spending the night out here seems like the smartest thing to do. "Stay here, I'll be back in a minute."

I go inside, use the restroom, find a few blankets and a few minutes later, I'm back at the balcony, spreading the bedspreads over him and joining him under them.

"I like the way you think miss Beckett. It's a good thing we're both wearing comfortable clothes if we're going to spend the night out here, gazing at the moon and the sky." We share a few more kisses after that and eventually we fall asleep. For the third night in a row, I go to bed with his arms around me. And I'm sure that if I have anything to say about it, this is the only way I'll ever fall asleep from now on.