Hey guys,

It's 11:40 right now...still Tuesday, but not by much. Seriously, I just realized that it was Tuesday. I've been through a rough couple of days.

Anyway, thank you all for the reviews, they really make my day.

Read and enjoy. I know this chapter is a little shorter, actually, its the shortest so far, I thought I'd give you break from the monster chapters I've been posting.

As soon as dinner ended, Severus Snape headed straight for his classroom knowing that Miss Granger would be early considering that she was currently fighting with the red-head and anxious to learn Legilimency.

Sure enough, as soon as he began heading down the corridor, she was casually strolling down the hallway with her nose in a book. Sighing deeply, he quickened his pace to the door and slammed it open. His eyes immediately darted down the hallway, and then down the other way, making sure that no one was near. Of course they wouldn't be here, most of Hogwarts tended to avoid his classroom.

Severus turned his eyes to the witch that was still taking her time walking down the hallway. Rolling his eyes, he had to hold himself back from grabbing her and throwing her into the room. Finally, she walked close enough so he could talk.

"Get in and stop making a show of yourself." he snapped.

Granger sighed deeply and closed her book with a snap before storming into the classroom and flinging the book on a desk. He closed the door with a slam before flinging off his teaching robes and rubbing his face.

"You're intelligent enough so I don't have to go over what we learned yesterday." he said with a sigh.

He looked up to see her standing in front of him, ready to go. Severus didn't think that he had the strength to do the lesson today, but he was sucking it up so Granger didn't throw a temper tantrum.

"Well, let's get on with it."

She muttered the incantation and he felt her enter his head. Severus couldn't say he didn't enjoy her being in his head, it was rather comforting. Granger radiated warmth and wisdom, allowing him a moment to simply relax. Usually when someone was trying to read his mind it was violent and vicious. She didn't seem in a particular rush today, taking her time feeling how far his walls would allow her to go. He felt his eyebrows knit together after a few minutes feeling her completely nonaggressive nature. What on Earth was she doing? And what was going on behind those gorgeous brown eyes?

It was then that he felt it, felt her tentatively brush against his shield, as if she were testing him. He looked into her eyes, and saw nothing but…tenderness? No one had ever looked at him like that, no one except for…Lily. He knew that his eyes widened to a considerable size. Again she reached out, putting more pressure on his shield, dragging her fingers delicately across each wall. She was almost caressing the walls as a person would caress their lover's body. As that thought struck him, the years he had spent building the impenetrable shields, were suddenly wasted as they came crashing down around him.

The memories he had held dear and kept private for so long came rushing out like a dam that had just burst. Most of them were about Lily. He once again saw the red hair and the green eyes he was forced to look at each time he looked at Potter. Once again he was forced to witness his own humiliation, calling Lily a Mudblood, and then begging for the forgiveness that she refused to give him. Then he recalled the rest of the memories where she would act as she was part of Potter's gang and humiliate him more than she could have possibly realized.

Then he played the day he had received their wedding invitation in the mail, feeling as if the world had just ended and he no longer had a reason to live. The memory of the wedding came forward then, but he didn't go to the wedding. Instead, he had spent the day drinking until he was passed out on the floor.

And the crying, the guttural sobbing that was racking his form throughout some of the memories made him cringe. They made him sick to his stomach.

The next memory was of him standing in front of the now destroyed cottage where their bodies had already been extracted from. The wreckage was more than he could take. He had collapsed to the pavement and screamed himself hoarse. She was dead because of him. She was dead because of him.

Severus tore his eyes away from the brown pools of warmth that were now filled to the brim with tears. He had never shown, or told anyone about those memories, never. They were private. He had stored them in a place where not even he could access them. And now the pain was fresh, the ache in his chest, the buzzing in his head, and the nearly crushing guilt that forced him to grab onto his desk for support.

Those green eyes. Those beautiful green eyes that were filled with so much hate for him.

He felt the sweat form on his brow and his fingers began to ache with the force of grasping the desk. The world was spinning around him, and he couldn't make it stop. His past had just crashed down on him in one violent wave.

A muffled sound began to slowly pull him away from the mindless buzz in his head, a sound he recognized as crying. Severus looked through his parted hair, over his arm at the girl who had fallen into a desk and was now covering her eyes and taking deep shaking breaths.

In a flash, a flood of anger rushed through him, and with a feral growl, he sent everything on his desk flying off and onto the floor. He heard the desk behind him scrape violently across the floor, but he made no notice. Instead, he turned the nearest thing he could find, a student's desk, before flipping it with a yell.

"Professor!?"

He turned to another desk and flipped it with another yell that reverberated off of the stone walls.

"Professor! Please!" the frightened girl yelled.

He went to go grab for another desk, but the desk turned into a pile of blankets. He went for another one, but that turned into a pile of sweaters.

"Professor, stop!" the girl screeched.

He froze, breathing heavily with his hands clenched at his sides. He wanted to break things, violently smash them against the stone wall. Severus smashed his back violently into the stone wall before allowing himself to fall to the floor. He gripped his hair roughly and tugged at it, wanting to cause himself the most pain he possibly could. Severus could hear the girl's heavy breathing from across the room, but he kept tugging at his hair hoping for something, but not knowing what.

He heard soft footsteps approaching him, but he was still tugging at his hair, trying to forget everything he had just witnessed. All the years he tried to forget her, and he had gotten nowhere.

"Professor?"

Severus remained frozen, still with his hands viciously tangled in his hair. Something warm touched his hands and he recoiled immediately. He didn't want her pity, he didn't want her sympathy. He wanted to be left alone.

"Get out." he whispered hoarsely.

"No, I'm not going to leave you." she said resolutely.

He didn't have the strength to reply, or to force her out of the room. Instead, he focused on his breathing, trying to return it to a somewhat normal pace. Again he felt something warm touch his hands, and he felt the warmth trying to pry his fingers from his hair. He let the warmth do what it wanted. His hand fell limply to his lap, and he didn't attempt to move them again. Severus witnessed Miss Granger pulling her hands away from him before sitting down in front of him, crossed legged and silent.

For minutes on end, they remained silent, and he refused to look at her.

"That was Lily Potter?" she asked gently.

"Evans, her maiden name was Evans." he muttered quietly.

"You…you loved her, didn't you?"

"Yes."

Another moment of silence. He knew that she was testing him, seeing how far he would let her in.

"You called her…"

"A Mudblood, yes." he snapped coldly.

"I didn't mean-"

"It doesn't matter."

"But, you asked her to forgive you?"

"Yes, and she didn't, obviously."

"Why?"

"Because I insulted her and she decided not to!"

"I don't see why, you were best friends."

"And then she started going with Potter." he sneered.

"I don't understand why she didn't forgive you; it's just a name. People call me that all the time, being Muggle born and all."

"It was her decision, and I respected it."

"I think she was a little prideful, if you ask me."

He knew that he should snap at this young witch for insulting the woman he loved, but he couldn't help but smile with his head still lowered. Severus took a deep breath, and then gave a few chuckles.

"Yes, she was prideful, like you."

"But if you and I were friends, and you called me that, I wouldn't completely shut you out forever. You were just angry, and you said things that you didn't mean. Most people could understand that."

Severus couldn't help but study the young woman before him. She had drastically changed from the first time he met her. Granger was now mature, and understanding, willing to accept other's faults and shortcomings. He could tell by the look in her eye that not for one second had she judged him for his memories.

"I'm the reason she's dead." he blurted out.

"That's all in the past; you can't always live in the past. If you do, you'll have no future."

"That's all I have now, is the past." he muttered turning his face away from her.

"This…this is what you've been trying to repay all these years? This is why you're tied to Dumbledore?" she asked suddenly.

He nodded his head, but turned to look at her.

"No, I did not make an Unbreakable Vow with him, so you can return all of the books you took from the library on magical bonds."

"How did you know-"

"I put two and two together." he said with a smirk.

A silence followed, and he could see her becoming increasingly upset over something.

"I'm sorry." she finally uttered "I-I shouldn't have looked." she said lowering her eyes to her lap.

"That's what we're here for, aren't we?"

"But you never…I mean, you saw things but-"

"I hardly expect you to have the same degree of tragedy I have in my life."

They fell into silence. Severus studied her for a moment before swallowing deeply.

"How did you know?"

"Know what?" she asked lifting her eyes to his face.

"How to get by my shields?"

"I-I didn't really. Actually, Crookshanks gave me the idea."

He raised an eyebrow in questions.

"He's my cat. His tail brushed my hand, and it occurred to me that you try so hard to hide your emotions, that if someone showed you a little kindness, you'd open up to them."

Well he had to admit, she certainly was the brightest witch of her age, even if she did get the idea from a cat. Now this seventeen year old girl – woman – knew things about him that not even the Dark Lord knew. The thought made his stomach flip.

"Are you still practicing your Occlumency?" Severus asked.

"Yes, every night."

"And no dreams?"

"Not that I can remember."

"Good…good."

"Why?" she asked.

"If you were still allowing the Dark Lord access into your mind, what you just saw would cause a slight…problem for me." he said.

Severus watched as her face suddenly paled and her mouth popped opened. Granger fixed her wide eyes on his face and he kept up his stony glare.

"Oh no," she moaned dropping her head into her hands. "What have I done?"

He waited for a moment, not exactly knowing what to say to her.

"I had to be stupid and over eager, I made you teach me Legilimency, and now I have your memories and the Dark Lord can see them."

"Not if you close your mind."

She quickly snapped her eyes back to his.

"But what if I can't!? I'm-I'm not nearly as good at it as you are! What am I going to do? I-I could get you killed!"

"You just said yourself that you haven't had any more dreams."

"What if I slip up? All he needs is a single moment, and he can learn things that…oh." she ended burying her face in her hands once more.

"Miss Granger, you haven't slipped up yet, and I doubt that such a thing is going to occur in the near future." he said in a bored tone.

"I shouldn't have pushed, if something happens, it'll be my fault."

"I can assure you, you are not going to cause my death, there are far greater factors at work here, so when the time comes, you should rest assured that you are not at fault."

"What do you mean far greater factors?" she snapped harshly, lifting her head to look at him.

He looked at her with a slightly shocked expression.

"Well of course you didn't expect me to come out of this alive, did you?" he asked.

She set her jaw, probably working against the tears, before taking a deep breath.

"Yes, as a matter of fact, I do intend for you to be alive when this is all over."

"For heaven's sake, I'm a spy, what are the chances of me surviving?" he replied in an exasperated tone.

In a flash she had jumped up and was glaring down at him with all the fury of the world etched into her face.

"No! I am tired of hearing people say that they're going to die! Enough already! You are going to be alive, and Harry is going to be alive, and-and we're all going to be fine, so just stop!"

She stormed away from him and snatched the book from the back desk before turning on her heel.

"You shouldn't bottle up your emotions." she said with a sniff, signaling that she was indeed crying. "It's not healthy."

With that final word, she stormed from the room, slamming the door behind her. Severus remained on the floor for another few hours, replaying everything that had occurred in that lesson. He found himself focusing more and more on Granger's outburst. It made him uncomfortable when she was upset, and he'd rather be staring at her when she was deep in thought. No, he quickly snapped. He shouldn't want to be staring at her at all. She was a student, he a teacher.

It was then that Severus realized how…close he and Granger had become. He had just allowed her to tell him off, and he didn't even make a move to reprimand her for her cheek. Severus quite enjoyed her company; it had become a regular routine for him, seeing her every night. Though he'd never say such a thing out loud to another living soul. She had somehow wormed her way through his cold exterior, bent on keeping the world out and his thoughts buried deep inside.

Severus jumped up and returned his room to its normal state while grumbling to himself. He needed to cut Granger out before she buried her way deeper in. His thoughts quickly flickered to Albus Dumbledore. He had warned Severus that such a thing could happen, was already happening, but Severus refused to believe it. It was her fault, he said to himself. She is the one who worries about me, not the other way around. But…he did worry about her, but not obsessively. Little thoughts about her would flash through his mind, like, was she still having dreams? Were their lessons becoming too much for her?

Severus sat down at his desk and began grading some essays, deciding to fail each and everyone just because he felt like it.