Chapter Three The Lion Cub
It takes us awhile to get used to the oasis. I make a big bed that we share. Timon sleeps on my stomach. It takes us awhile to live the Hakuna Matata lifestyle because Timon worries too much. Meerkats are so paranoid. I find out that Timon has met Rafiki and learned about hakuna matata from thinks Rafiki is a weird monkey. I agree but Rafiki has an insight into how all animals act and that is why he is shaman to the Lion Kings of Pride Rock.
Anyway I think about Mom and my little sisters. I wonder how they are doing. Before I was the smelly pig with the gas problem, I was a big brother and I helped take care of my little sisters. Taking care of other creatures that are little and helpless is what I do best. After all that is why I ended up following Timon. But Timon really does not need that much looking after. In fact he really decides everything for the two of us and I usually let him. I miss taking care of something little and helpless. Boy I would like to be a dad but I have not met any female warthogs out here and I do not think they would want to have a relationship with me anyway.
I perfect my bowling skills. I have bowled wildebeest, antelope, hyenas, and mostly birds. We usually practice on buzzards. It is always good to keep our skills up. We have to go the the desert to bowl for buzzards but we do it at least once or twice a week. We usually check to see if the corpses that they want to feed on are alive and they usually are dead.
Today we see the buzzards again. We are at the border between the oasis and the desert.. We run from the oasis , shout and make the birds fly and scatter. Timon gets off my back and I look at the corpse. I see a beautiful golden brown body. I lean down and and see the little creature is breathing. "Hey, Timon, I think its alive"
Timon grunts and goes over to the cute little creature. He picks up its paw and backs away. "It's a eat guys like us."
I look down at the little lion cub. He is absolutely adorable."He is just a little lion. Look at him. Isn't he cute? Can we keep him?" I ask earnestly. I really want this little guy.
"But then he will grow big" Timon points out. "Then he will be on our side." I answer. As usual Timon thinks my idea is dumb but he thinks about it and claims it as his own. "It would be nice to have a lion around. He would come in handy." So I lift up the cub with my tusks, carry him, and we take him to the oasis.
When our cub first wakes up, he is really depressed. He does not tell us why he is so melancholy only he did something terrible that he had to get away from. Timon tells him he really does not want to hear about why he ran away. I tell him to put his behind in his past. Timon says you put your past behind you. Anyway after we sing to the kid he cheers up. Then we try to get him to eat insects. He tries his first slimy slug and manages to like it. That is just the beginning of our parenting.
Simba, our cub, is a rambunctious little boy. I catch him when he breaks a branch off of a tree. I grab him as he goes over a waterfall. Again I am always around in the nick of time to save the kid when Timon tries and is unsuccessful. I know I am needed. But Timon is closer to our cub than I am and sometmes it really hurts.
At night when Simba wakes up, he always calls for Timon. Timon takes him to relieve himself. Timon takes him for a drink of water. The two of them have father-son talks. I can't help but feel a little jealous and left out. But one night Timon does not get enough sleep and yells at Simba after Simba has a night mare. Timon wakes me up, tells me Simba has had a bad dream, and I suggest Simba sleep with us. Simba eagerly climbs on top of my stomach and puts a paw around Timon. I feel great being with the two of them. Then I volunteer to take care of Simba when he has to get up in the night so Timon can rest. I get closer to Simba. I am not Simba's father. I guess since I am a soft kind of warthog. I am more like Simba's mother.
I am getting concerned about Simba. He is starting to grow out of cubhood but he is very skinny. He looks like a bag of bones. I speak about this with Timon. Bugs are not enough for our boy. He needs to be trained how to hunt. Timon won't hear of it. So I devise a new game.
"Hey Simba" I say. "Let's play hide and seek. I will hide and you will try to find me. Then you will pin me down." I practice it a few times and Timon is plays this game and becomes very good at it. He practices this on other animals after I tell him to. But as Simba grows he goes away from us on short trips. He eats field mice, lizards, and small game. He starts growing into a sleek lion. He starts growing a small red mane over his head. He is a very handsome young lion. Then he takes Hakuna Matata to a whole new realm. He tells Timon that even though Timon invented Hakuna Matata, Simba perfected it. Timon asks me about all of the different bug eating contests the two engaged in. It is Simba who has won every time. The two finally decide to snail slurp. I go over to the other side of the oasis because watching them slurp the snails sickens me and I lose my appetitie for slimy bugs. I hear them making the smooth liquidy sounds as they swallow the snails.. Finally both of them collapse bloated and exhausted. It is a wonder they don't get sick. Poor Simba throws up during the night. Timon has the worst stomach rumblings and gas imaginable. He makes my farting look like an air freshner. Simba and I go to sleep in a different area. Timon is quite happy though. He has won the contest. Simba grows up to be a handsome male lion with a full and thick red mane. After that we spend many happy worry free days together in our jungle eat bugs although Simba disappears on hunting trips.. We soak in our own hot tub. We sleep under the stars. I kind of feel bad about that one episode when we laughed at Simba after he told us that the stars were great kings watching over us. Timon really made fun of Simba then and hurt his feelings. I am not very spiritual myself. I just think that the stars are big balls of gas burning billions of miles away. We warthogs are a practical lot. But I really do not like to make fun of anyone's core spiritual beliefs. It is just plain wrong.
After this incident, I was not aware of it yet but our threesome was about to change by a lioness who would get the three of us to fight for her home and reveal the family background of our boy.