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The marriage wasn't mentioned, not that that was surprising to Hermione, but she kept brushing her fingers over the ring now resting on her finger. An hour seemed to have passed, and they were still discussing plans when a sudden scrapping of a chair stopped the talking.
"Albus, I must go." Snape's voice said.
If Hermione hadn't spent so much time with him, she would have never noticed the small underlying tone of nervousness.
"Very well, enjoy the rest of your holiday." Dumbledore said cheerfully before turning back to the conversation.
Snape suddenly came from the kitchen, pausing as the door closed. Reaching for his left arm, he yanked the sleeve back and revealed the Dark Mark, black on his pale skin. Snape's eyes drifted to the stairs, and Hermione was glad that she was hidden in the shadows so she could observe him without being seen. He looked as if he wanted to go up, but he quickly looked away and began heading towards the door.
Hermione began to feel panic welling up inside her, sure and strong, the voices of the meeting buzzing around her head. In a split second, she darted from the stairs, seeing that Snape was already nearly to the door. Her footsteps were muffled in the carpet and the sound of his robes, so he hadn't known she was behind him until she snatched his wrist. Snape instantly went to pull away, but she held him tightly.
There was a single light, outside of the kitchen, and the light barely reached them at the door. Hermione's chest felt tight as she looked into his face, while still holding his arm between her two hands.
"Don't go." she said.
"I have no choice." he replied quietly.
"I didn't give you your present."
Snape turned to leave, but she stopped him.
"Please, be careful." Hermione whispered, still holding his hand.
Even in the darkness, she could see his heated eyes. Snape moved until his back was to the kitchen and hers to the door. Hermione looked into his face, noticing the sudden intensity there.
"I.." Hermione couldn't pull her eyes from his lips.
She flung her arms around his neck and pulled him close to her, pressing her face against his shoulder. Hermione clung to him, noticing the fresh scent that clung to his clothing and skin. After a moment, she pulled away and brushed her lips against his smooth cheek.
"Just…be careful." she choked out slightly while pulling away.
Hermione went to walk away but he grabbed her shoulder, keeping her in place. When she wouldn't raise her eyes to his face, he tilted her chin up, and Hermione stayed silent due to the look on his face. His hand slid around to the back of her head, tangling in her bushy hair tightly while his other arm wrapped tightly around her waist, yanking her to him.
The moment he shoved her against the door, his mouth descended on hers. Roughly his lips spread hers, and her chest swelled. Hermione tangled one of her hands into his black hair, slightly tugging at the locks while the other hand grabbed the robes covering his back. His mouth tasted of mint, and Hermione allowed him to delve into her mouth, taking control over her. Tilting her head back, he allowed himself better access to her mouth while pressing nearly all of his weight against her.
Hermione pulled him closer to her, enjoying the fact that he was nearly crushing the breath from her body. He slowed down, breathing heavily against her lips. Finally, he stopped, pulling away slightly, but Hermione pressed her lips gently against his once more, also breathing heavily, her heart pounding fiercely.
Nearly as quick as he had pulled her to him, he pulled away, leaving her standing there breathlessly as he reached for the door handle, forcing her to step away from it. Snape paused, with the door opened and his back turned to her, allowing the cold air to blow into the house. Hermione stood, with her arms wrapped around herself staring at his back, slightly taken aback at how quickly his mood seemed to have changed.
She watched as his right hand closed on the door knob tightly while his left hand once again found its way to her hair. He pulled her face towards his, forcing her to stumble slightly towards him before softly pressing his lips against hers. Instinctively, she gently caressed his cheek with one hand, while the other grabbed the arm that was currently holding her against him. This kiss felt more like an apology than anything, as if he was saying sorry for pulling away so fiercely seconds before.
Snape pulled away, allowing his fingers to trail across her jaw before slipping into the cold night. The door shut behind him with a thud, and Hermione stood there, stunned, staring at the wood as if he was still standing there.
What on Earth had just happened? She had just kissed her Professor! Granted, she had begun to care for him more and more over the past few months, but the blatant display they had just put on was overstepping the boundaries. Glancing down at her ring, she sighed. Legally, there wasn't anything wrong with it. She was married to him now, but it was only supposed to be a cover. Not to mention the desperation in which he kissed her, as if she'd never see him again. The thought caused a knot to form in her stomach.
Hermione did care for him, that much she admitted, but caring for him more than a friend…that she didn't bargain for. She stood in the hallway for quite some time after that, trying to process her thoughts and feelings, only succeeding in becoming more and more confused as the time went on.
She went to sleep that night, but couldn't make sense of anything that had happened that day.
Severus left Grimmauld Place that night with this thoughts racing through his mind. He had one impulse, a single lapse in judgment, causing him to practically maul Granger against a door. His thoughts were confusing enough, but her reaction was a whole other thing.
Severus could still feel the softness of her lips on his and her sweet breath. Granger seemed all too willing for such affection. What were her feelings towards him? Did she only react to avoid being rude? Did she feel obligated to react positively due to the fact that they were married?
Severus glanced down at the gold band on his finger. Well, he sure as hell didn't expect this to ever happen in his lifetime. Then again, what he was involved in was nothing but a mission, there weren't any feelings involved.
His traveling cloak billowed around him as a light snowfall began.
But there were feelings. Whether he liked it or not, he couldn't deny the fact that he cared for the noble, yet reckless Gryffindor. All she ever seemed to want to do was help every living soul around her. She never gave up on him.
His heart clenched at the thought.
Severus constantly reminded himself of Lily. He loved Lily, everything about her. Her hair, her eyes, her laugh, her walk, her personality.
Yet, she had been the one to give him up. After his outburst, he repeatedly apologized, begging, nearly on his knees for her forgiveness, and she had turned him down flat. Yet Granger…despite being stubborn beyond what would be considered decent, she had flat out refused to allow him to be alone. He couldn't decide if he was grateful or irritated at that.
There was something there, something churning behind those lovely brown eyes. The way she had looked at him tonight, knowing that he would be leaving, made his thoughts run away from him, prompting the rather enthusiastic reaction on his part. Even if he closed his eyes, he knew he would see those eyes forever, burned into his memory.
Looking up, he gazed warily at the sky. The last time he had looked at the sky in wonder like he was now was after he had screamed himself hoarse at the Potter's home the night they were killed. Severus wished he could see the stars, allow his mind to jump between each twinkling light and then through the galaxy, taking him away from his life and overbearing responsibilities.
She wouldn't stay out of his thoughts. Just thinking about the stars reminded him of her. The twinkle in her eye, the way her nose crinkled when she laughed, the way her eyebrows knitted together when reading a particularly difficult piece of material, the way she looked at him when he was about to break into her mind, trusting him with her deepest secrets and darkest memories.
Severus now realized that he had let Granger get far too close to him, and he knew that it was too late to turn back. He couldn't exactly avoid her now, could he? Granger…Hermione, he corrected himself.
He swore to himself that no one would replace the memory of Lily, the woman he loved, even in death, and Severus found it uncomfortable that Hermione kept sneaking into his thoughts, especially when he was thinking of Lily.
Severus pushed his thoughts aside, hiding them beyond the walls in his carefully constructed room, remembering that the Dark Lord had summoned him. He had stalled long enough. Pulling his traveling cloak tightly around him, he turned on the spot, silently bidding farewell to the woman currently sitting in 12 Grimmauld Place, and forcing himself to maintain a cold, austere expression.
Malfoy Manor loomed in the distance, a harsh sight. Severus walked quickly to the gate and then up the drive before knocking on the door. After a few moments, the door swung open with a creak, revealing Bellatrix. Inwardly, he cringed at the sight. Certainly, she could have been beautiful if she hadn't chosen this fate, but the Dark Arts had warped her features.
"Severus." she hissed under her breath, blatantly eyeing him up and down.
"Bellatrix." he snapped coldly, pushing her aside and slipping into the chilly house.
As he climbed the stairs, Severus could feel her behind him. He was sure he could nearly feel her breath on his neck. Bellatrix Lestrange would be the absolute last woman in the world that he would ever look at. Azkaban had driven her insane, and now her bloodlust was worse than ever before.
"Severus, come, they don't need you just yet." she whispered hoarsely into his ear.
"I'm not interested in your little games, Bellatrix. I'm sure some of the other Death Eaters will be more inclined to accept your invitation. But rumor has it, they already have."
She gave a squeak of indignation and stormed up ahead of him and into the room where the meeting was being held. Severus reached the top of the stairs just as she scurried into her seat, glaring around the table. Someone was going to pay for his remark; he only hoped it wasn't an innocent.
"Ah, Severus, my dear friend, you are late." a cold voice hissed.
"My apologies my Lord, I could not get away without the old man becoming suspicious." he replied taking his seat near the head of the table.
"Understandable. We wouldn't want him to become suspicious." Voldemort replied softly.
The room fell silent, as they all awaited Voldemort's commands. Finally, the slender form rose from the chair and began walking around the table, each member flinching slightly as he passed.
"Now, we have a small problem that I was informed of this evening." he began softly, causing the tension in the room to rise.
"I do believe I remember saying that none of Potter's friends were to be touched? Am I correct?"
Voldemort looked around as everyone nodded their heads solemnly.
"One of you did not listen." he hissed.
Severus began to sweat. Was the Dark Lord referring to him? He couldn't help the image of Hermione's face that suddenly swam in the forefront of his mind. Severus scanned the table, looking for signs of guilt, but of course he would find none. These people had been trained for years not to display emotion on their faces.
"I know who you are." the Dark Lord continued while pulling out his wand.
In a flourish of his wrist, Lucius Malfoy collapsed to the floor, screaming in agony.
"Did you think I wouldn't find out about your secret, Lucius?!"
The screams were echoing around the nearly empty room, ringing in Snape's ears.
"Telling your brat to spy on the Mudblood to see when she was leaving the school! He told you, didn't he? When she was leaving. Then you called my followers, telling them that I had ordered them to attack!"
Lucius was convulsing violently on the floor, still screaming as if someone was repeatedly stabbing him.
"You see, Lucius, I know everything. I know of every little thing that happens here, and it was far too easy to find out what you were up to."
Voldemort broke the spell, leaving Lucius panting on the floor.
"This is your last chance, Lucius. Fail me again, and I will kill you in front of you wife and that slippery little brat of yours."
The tension in the room was nearly stifling. Severus calmed his mind quickly as the Dark Lord retook his seat.
"Get up." he snapped coldly at Lucius.
The man did as he was told and stumbled over to his chair, barely able to stand. Everyone turned their eye away from him, including his wife.
"Now, I heard that you were with the girl, Severus."
"Yes, my Lord. The old man anticipated an attack, due to Draco's actions, and sent them out early. I was met by four Death Eaters, trying to attack the girl. I knew your previous wishes to have her unharmed, so I was forced to fight back. I discovered soon after our escape that she had been hit with a nasty curse, altered, no doubt." he raised his eyes to Lucius, who was still hunched over the table. "She nearly died."
The Dark Lord glared at Lucius fiercely.
"And now?" he prompted.
"Recovering."
"Good…good. If I hear of another unauthorized attack, I will not be so lenient the next time, with any of you."
The entire table seemed to slouch further into their chairs, and Snape noticed a flicker of happiness in his slit eyes. Voldemort let the silence hang over them for another moment as he called Nagini over to his side.
"Does anyone have anything interesting to share? I'm in the mood for a good story."
Severus knew that he had to tell the Dark Lord what he had done. Tilting his chin up, he faced Voldemort, trying to avoid looking at the sickly pale skin.
"My Lord, I have something that may interest you." he said, knowing that he had to tread very lightly or he would give himself away.
"You usually do, Severus." the Dark Lord said with a smirk.
"I knew that you were particularly interested in the girl, so I've taken it upon myself to gain her trust and loyalty."
"And does she trust you?" he replied harshly.
"Yes." he said smirking and pulling out the contract from his robes.
Severus watched with baited breath as the slender, skeleton-like fingers slowly opened the parchment. His red eyes flitted over the paper, several times, his face not betraying his emotions. Severus became nervous, as the time stretched on.
"Well, Severus."
The Dark Lord lowered the piece of parchment to the shiny table before raising his eyes to Severus.
"This occurred tonight?"
"Not long before you called." Severus answered.
"What?" Bellatrix hissed, grasping madly to the arms of the chair.
"Our own Severus has been married to the Mudblood." the Dark Lord said.
There were shouts around the table, of course they would not be pleased that one of their own had married a Mudblood, but Severus sat still and allowed Voldemort to silence them with a single pound of his fist upon the table.
"My Lord, she willingly entered into such an arrangement, but the old man was rather hesitant. He placed certain restrictions on the contract, particularly concerning you."
"Me?" Voldemort asked in interest.
"He has always been wary of my…loyalties. He believes that I am still one of your followers, so when I brought the subject up, he was against it. He believed that I would use the girl against the Order, which, of course, is exactly what I planned to do. But he has done what he can to prevent you from reaching her. You have one three hour window per day to speak to her, otherwise she must remain in my care." Severus concluded.
"And she will always be at my disposal." the Dark Lord said more to himself than anyone else.
"Yes, that is the general idea." Severus said with a smirk.
The Dark Lord raised his eyes, but did not look at Severus, instead turning towards Lucius Malfoy with a cruel grin.
"And what does Lucius have to say about this?" he mocked.
Lucius raised his eyes to Voldemort, and gave a slight nod in agreement.
"The plan sounds…fool-proof." he sneered, turning his eyes to Severus and allowing his hair to shield his face from the Dark Lord so he could glare viciously at him.
Severus glared back easily, making sure to keep his face hard as stone.
"And what, may I ask, was wrong with Draco? Didn't I suggest Draco for the job?" Lucius asked Severus.
"Your son seems to not know the art of subtlety." Severus said with a smirk.
"The Mudblood hates your son, and yourself, Lucius. The girl would have sensed something suspicious. Plus, your son seems too incompetent to complete any task given to him." The Dark Lord murmured.
Severus watched as the two glared at each other before Lucius backed down. There was obviously something between the two that he, himself, did not know.
"My Lord, I beg you to reconsider Draco for the task," Lucius added, keeping his eyes lowered. "The Imperius Curse would work wonderfully on the Mudblood and-"
"I can assure you, with little doubt; she would be able to resist the curse. She is not weak." Severus cut in.
Lucius glared for a moment before turning back to the Dark Lord.
"My Lord, if Draco was to win the Mudblood, there would be no restrictions written into the contract. You could question her all you want." Lucius said.
"I have spent many hours to get where I am, and I will not have your son destroy what I have done." Severus snapped.
"The old man put restrictions against the Dark Lord, Severus. He obviously doesn't trust you enough to allow her to be alone with you. With Draco, the old man wouldn't even know what was happening. We could get the girl right out from under his nose, and over the summer, we could get the information that we need."
"And what of her parents? Friends?" Severus asked.
"What of them? What are two Muggles compared to winning a war?"
Severus glared at him, and Lucius glared back evenly.
"Now, now, let's play nice, boys." the Dark Lord said in an amused tone.
The rest of the meeting was devoted to battle plans, and the Dark Lord took a choice few and went off to another room with them, dismissing the others. Severus immediately headed down the stairs, but did not notice Bellatrix standing in the shadows.
"You married a Mudblood?" she hissed, making him stop short.
"That is none of your business, Bellatrix." he bit out, heading towards the door.
"None of my business? What of Draco? He was supposed to turn her over to the Dark Lord!" she snapped harshly.
"It is not my fault that Lucius cannot seem to follow the Dark Lord's commands, nor get his son to make up for his mistakes. Both of them are groveling for approval while there are things that need to be done." he snapped.
"You're trying to make Lucius and Draco look bad!" she screeched following him to the door.
"They do that very well on their own, and without my help." Severus said with a note of finality before closing the door in her face.
Severus strolled down the drive, now hidden by the night, and past the gates. Turning on the spot, he appeared in the middle of a small village whose houses all looked to be the same. If Severus had not grown up in the town, he would have been utterly lost, but he was sure he'd be able to find the house with his eyes closed. His feet struck the familiar path, weaving in and out of alleyways containing cobbled streets. A cat peered at him for a moment before returning to the garbage it was eating.
He could see Spinner's End from where he walked, and for once he welcomed the sight. Severus needed something to remind him of his past at the moment, and what better than his childhood home?
The old, rickety door stood with peeling paint and a slightly wobbly handle. Glancing casually around, he made sure that there were no Muggles before removing the wards from the property. Severus slipped inside the dusty hall, heaving a sigh of relief. All he wanted to do was grab a book, a bottle of Firewhiskey, and relax.
Slowly removing his travelling cloak with tired fingers, Severus tossed the cloak on an arm chair in the sitting room, where he started a raging fire. He sat in the arm chair closest to the fireplace; his favorite chair. He normally disliked using magic for everything, preferring the old fashioned way, but he was far too tired to care. Waving his wand, a bottle of firewhiskey, a glass, and a large book came gliding towards him.
Snatching the book, he placed it in his lap before taking the glass and pouring himself a generous amount of liquid. The bottle situated itself on the table next to him. In a sarcastic gesture, Severus raised his glass for a moment to the ceiling, not really knowing who or what he was toasting only knowing his life was being shot to hell. He threw his head back, swallowing the contents in one swig before settling into the chair with his book.
The holidays passed slowly for Severus, being locked up in the dusty old house where he had so many horrible memories. Hermione constantly occupied his thoughts. What particularly stuck in his mind was her innocent sentence I didn't give you your present. Even after everything, she was still so naïve and innocent. Still, he hadn't even thought of getting her anything.
Not wanting to sit in the house any longer, Severus pulled on his travelling cloak and walked outside, glancing around before Apparating. Immediately, he was jostled by shoppers, rushing around to complete their errands. Severus pulled his hood up instinctively, to keep away prying eyes. Easily he maneuvered between the people, barely brushing the hems of the other cloaks around him.
Severus remembered when he used to look upon Diagon Alley with wide eyes, amazed at everything the wizarding world had to offer him. He'd spend hours here, exploring every shop, wall to wall.
Laughter, music, and screeching owls filled the air. People with outrageous robes walked around with their packages precariously balanced in their arms. The scowl on his face deepened. All these people were so happy, and he was so miserable.
Severus spotted the sign for Flourish and Blotts above the heads of the crowds. Usually he came at night, when there were no people around and he could easily move about. Severus slipped into the store, keeping his hood up.
Severus moved around the dingy shop, breathing in deeply, savoring the smell of the pages bound into the covers that lined the walls. The woman at the desk didn't rise to offer him help; no doubt she was scared of his presence.
Softly he treaded up the stairs, hearing them creak under his weight. Looking for nothing in particular, he subconsciously ran his fingers over the spines, reading each of their titles. Plant Life in the Alps, Basic Remedies: What All Potion Makers Must Know, Charms: Advanced Magic. The list went on and on.
Once he had completed the first lap around the top floor, he paused at the top of the stairs, his eyes drawn to the Charms book he had passed on the shelf. Severus recalled the memory of the birds floating around the courtyard, changing colors smoothly, and then the moment he changed them. He'd remember the peacefulness on her face as they twirled around her forever. And her glistening eyes as they traced the whimsical movements made his chest tight.
NO. He could not allow himself to become attached to her. He had had one lapse in judgment, and now he was losing his whole head. Severus supposed that he could…like the girl. Not more than he liked someone like…Minerva. He'd treat her like an acquaintance, a fairly…well known acquaintance. He could not allow more than that. She was still his student. To him, she would always be his student. Nothing more. She had wormed her way in without his permission, and he could not allow it to continue.
Still. She had gotten him something, and to be polite, he'd get her something as well. Before he had even decided what to do, he had walked back to the Charms book and snatched it off the dusty shelf. She would like this, wouldn't she? It was far beyond what a sixth year would study, and she was always anxious to exceed her classmates.
Thumbing through the book, Severus decided it was a respectable selection, and he descended the stairs, heading into the backroom where most of the books containing darker magic were kept. There was no one else in the room when he entered, which made him happy. Severus hated prying eyes.
After he made a few more selections, he went to the front desk, where the woman totaled the order for him, avoiding his eyes. The woman mumbled the total, and Severus forked over the money as she wrapped the books for him.
Severus stepped out of the store and back into the crowded streets, with his hood firmly in place. He began heading further into Diagon Alley, taking in the sights, sounds, and smells. It was then that he recognized a voice as he was passing Madam Malkin's shop.
"Honestly, Ronald, I thought we had already decided this." her sweet voice said.
"Come on, Hermione. Why not?"
"Ron, we're better off as friends." she mumbled staring through the window.
Severus pretended to be viewing something at a nearby vender.
"Hermione." the boy whined.
"Ron, I told you already. You've had all these years to do something about it, and now…"
"But Lavender and I are over."
"You're just interested now because you have no one to snog you anymore." she snapped harshly.
"No, I promise Hermione, that's not it."
"Well, you're too late, Ron." she said definitely.
"It's Krum, isn't it? I knew he was no good, I told you-"
"No, Viktor isn't involved."
"Then who is?"
"No one, Ron." she said, though Severus heard the lie in her voice.
"Then why?"
"Ron, please."
Severus peaked around the hood of his cloak, risking a glance at the two. Hermione had her face pressed against the glass, apparently waiting for someone, while Weasley stared out across the street.
"Has Snape written you yet? I know how buddy-buddy you two were." the boy said rather harshly.
Severus noticed the flushing of her face, as she suddenly became interested in events occurring down the street from them.
"No, he hasn't, not that he would. What's it to you?" she asked, becoming defensive.
"Nothing." the boy said sarcastically.
"Ron, he saved my life, I owe him more than I can say, and you should be grateful too."
"You're covering for him, I know you are." he muttered.
"What are you talking about? I'm not covering for him." she said, sounding nervous now.
"You two are up to something." he barked turning on her.
"Even if we are, it's none of your business. Professor Dumbledore …well, it's none of your business." she snapped.
"Why can't you tell us?"
"Maybe if you had continued with Occlumency, you would know!" she snapped.
"Yeah, right! And have the greasy git inside my head? I don't think so." he said with a scoff.
"Ron, don't say that." she snapped.
"Why not?"
"Because it's rude!"
"Hermione, we're talking about Snape!"
"Ron, he's done more for us than we know, the least you can do is show him some respect!"
"I-"
Potter then walked out of the store, with a package under his arm.
"Would you two give it a rest? I heard you all the way in the back of the store!" he snapped, heading towards Severus.
Hermione fell into step besides Potter, and Weasley meandered behind, still cursing under his breath. It was then that Severus felt it, the slight vibration from the medal on his finger. And if he could feel it-
"Hermione? What's wrong?" Potter said.
Severus immediately stepped back into the crowd of people, eyeing the deserted alleyway. Swiftly he stepped through the archway and Apparated back to Spinner's End. Taking a seat near the fire, Severus sighed.
Had she seen him? Did she feel the same thing that he did when she passed by him? If she did recognize him, did she tell her friends?
Severus pulled the Charms book out of the packaging and fingered through it, pausing for a few moments to gaze over something.
If Severus gave the girl the book, he was practically inviting her to continue her obnoxious behavior towards him. He was promoting this…relationship. That was the very last thing he wanted to do. He didn't want to put silly romantic notions into her head.
The thought made him smirk. Severus Snape, a romantic.
Yet, he had kissed her. One stray thought and he had destroyed all of his careful work making sure she knew they would never be more than student and teacher.
This was the most he could do. Give her a book to thank her for everything she had done for him this year. She had helped him when he came back from that meeting, the skin burning from his body, hid him from the Death Eaters at her home, knowing he would get in trouble if he were spotted. She had not told a soul of what she had seen in his head, the horrific and personal memories. Most of all, she had kept this outrageous scheme that Dumbledore had concocted to herself, not even telling her best friends.
Severus slowly made his way to the study, and took a seat at the dusty desk before picking up a quill. Dipping the tip slightly in the ink, he opened the cover, unsure of what to say to her.
Granger,
Merry Christmas, and thank you for keeping our arrangement a secret. Enjoy your holiday.
Severus didn't bother to sign it. He grimaced at the seemingly kind words he had written, but couldn't find it in himself to change them. Sighing, he summoned a house elf from Hogwarts, and instructed the small being to put the book on Miss Granger's bed, so she would receive it when she returned to school.