Hey...DON'T GET MAD! I KNOW IT'S WEDNESDAY! Soooo sorry for the delay.
I hope you read and enjoy...and hopefully review even though I'm a day late.
Severus didn't know how long he stood on the stoop, staring at the spot on the street where Hermione had just disappeared. He may be nearly heartless, but he could see the pain and agony in her eyes. He had finally driven her away. It was just as well; he had allowed himself to slip once again, leading her on, practically telling her that such a thing was acceptable. Severus would forever see her as a student, and nothing more.
Too late for that he thought sarcastically.
Indeed, Severus couldn't pinpoint the moment when he had stopped viewing her as Miss Granger and began viewing her as a young, beautiful, intelligent young woman. That mattered little. It was the fact that he had begun to think of her differently that was the main issue. He knew, no matter how hard he tried, Hermione Granger, well, Snape, would never be seen as a student in his eyes again. He could think of her as a first year, hand in the air, physically standing in an effort to be chosen to answer a question correctly. But what would that image do for him? Slowly the young, innocent face would begin to morph, and soon the display would be of a young woman, in a red dress, smiling widely and laughing freely. Little did she know how truly wonderful she was.
Severus wasn't going to lie to himself anymore, he truly did care for her. He cared for her more than he had cared for anyone in over twenty years.
Lily suddenly surfaced in his mind. Severus was startled to find that he didn't feel the usually intense guilt and longing that was associated with Lily's memory. The beautiful brunette was more prominent in his mind, and he was oddly fine with that fact. Lily would always have a special place in his heart, until the day he died. She was his first friend, the first woman he had been in love with. Until the day he caused her death, he loved her with every fiber of his being.
Severus sighed and dropped into a seat at the kitchen table and looked around. He could practically taste the emptiness in the house. It felt emptier than ever before. Severus soon found himself wandering up the stairs, and to his bedroom. There was still a soft, vanilla fragrance in the room, and he clenched his jaw.
Should he go after her? Should he give her some space? Should he write her a letter, explaining himself?
With another sigh, Severus unceremoniously threw himself on the bed and was immediately overcome by her scent on his pillow. Immediately, images of the night she spent with him began to fill his mind.
Severus had never seen the Gryffindor so petrified in his life, and he certainly didn't like the sight. When she practically threw herself on top of him that night, he stayed awake for hours, simply staring at the ceiling, concentrating on how she felt against his own body. Every once in a while, her hand would grab a fistful of his shirt as if she was having a nightmare, and he would peer into her face and watch the lines of distress slowly fade from her face. As the night stretched on, the two became increasingly tangled with one another, and Severus was slightly uncomfortable. He had never been like…that with a woman before. Usually it was a one night event, and he never saw the woman again. Never had he held one as he did Hermione that night. The entire experience was a new thing for him, and he found he was anxious to have another.
That morning, when he awoke, he was slightly startled. When you spend twenty years sleeping alone and suddenly find a woman in your arms (one who was there willingly), the sight would startle anyone. He couldn't help himself; he had to touch her.
Her cheek was just as soft as he remembered it to be, even more so. Severus even allowed himself to slip and kiss her forehead. He left the room immediately afterwards. He could not condone such actions.
And then tonight. They had been fighting it, him more than her. She seemed willing for another encounter to take place…and he couldn't deny that he thought about that Christmas Eve night more than he should have been.
Why would someone with so much potential give up their life to help him? He was Severus Snape for crying out loud. Hated by all, student and teacher alike. She had given up her friends, her parents, her freedom…just to help others. And her promise…to stay with him no matter what happened. Granted she wasn't there now, but he couldn't exactly blame her for that. Regardless, why would she stay with him? Who would even want to? Nearly all of the magical community distrusted him, or even hated him, and this woman blatantly chose to stay at his side.
Til death do us part he thought sarcastically.
Hopefully it wouldn't come to that.
The next morning, Severus awoke sprawled out on the bed, alone, and just as miserable as he was the night before. Not to mention he had his face pressed into his pillow which smelled just like Hermione even though he knew that she certainly had not come back last night.
Should that worry him? Could Potter take care of her?
The thought made him groan aloud. The Golden Trio, reunited at last. He could only wonder what mischief the three would get into together. Though, mischief was a part of their school days. Sneaking around the castle at night, helping Hagrid with his dangerous creatures, helping Black escape was all considered mischief. But anything they were likely to get into now would surely be much more dangerous and most likely deadly.
His stomach flipped at the thought. He should have gone for her last night; he should have gone and forcefully dragged her back so he would know, so he would be absolutely positive that Hermione was indeed safe. She was currently staying with one of the most hunted people of their world, and Severus knew that, contrary to orders from the Dark Lord himself, the Death Eaters would not hesitate to kill Hermione in a second. They all secretly wanted her dead. She was, in their eyes, a Mudblood, and no matter what the Dark Lord said, Mudbloods were fair game amongst the Death Eaters.
In order to distract himself, Severus immediately slipped into the cellar to work on his new potion that healed scars and year-old wounds. He had been working on the mixture for quite a few years, but the human skin was a delicate thing, and therefore, needed a delicate potion. The intricate details took hours to straighten out, but last night, he had finally succeeded. Well, in more than one thing, he thought, thinking about giving into his feelings…again.
Pulling out his journal, in fact, the one that Hermione gave him for Christmas, he began scribbling his findings down at the bottom of the recipe he had finally perfected. The journal was probably the best gift he'd gotten in years. Everyone got him books filled to the brim with potion ingredients and recipes, but no one seemed to think about his own personal brewing. His cramped, yet neat cursive filled the page, as he scribbled over numerous stains.
His eyes kept flicking towards the stairs, and his hand would seize when he heard a creak, thinking that Hermione had returned. Severus hadn't even thought about what he should say to her once she did show up again. He was never one for feelings, discussing them, interpreting them, trying to figure out why he had them. Honestly, he could care less about it. But now, everything had changed in his life.
Twenty years ago, he didn't expect to be in the middle of a war. Twenty years ago, he hadn't expected to be playing the part of the spy, practically feeling death's icy breath on his neck every second of every day. Twenty years ago, he hadn't expected his feelings for Lily to fade. Twenty years ago, he hadn't expected he'd feel anything remotely close to that again. Twenty years ago, he certainly didn't think he'd be married.
Yet here he was, married, feeling, and in the middle of a war, closer to death than he was ever before.
Married. He pondered the word. Severus Snape was married.
Before he could ponder much more than that, his ring, for the first time, began to glow and heat up. His journal slipped from his fingers, and slapped to the ground as he felt the blood drain from his face. Severus couldn't think about anything but the warmth of the ring, and the potential meaning. She could be in trouble. He wouldn't allow himself to think past that point. With his head already spinning, Severus turned on the spot, allowing the ring to take him to Hermione.
The instant his feet touched the ground, he heard a…crunch? Peering around, he found himself in the middle of the woods, the trees just beginning to lose their leaves. Then he could hear voices, a woman speaking harshly while crying, and a male whose voice was slightly panicked. Severus immediately headed towards the voices, and when he climbed the small hill, he was met with the scene which was producing the voices.
Immediately he saw her, her hair slightly bushy, on her knees, leaning over a figure. A head of black hair was doing the same.
"Can't you fix it?"
"No, Harry! Just because I fix the bottle doesn't mean that the Dittany reappears in the bottle! Magic doesn't work that way!"
Severus knew that she was crying and severely panicking. She had evidently heard him approach because her head suddenly snapped up and her eyes landed on him.
"Severus!" she immediately cried, the tears flowing more freely.
Hermione jumped up, and Severus noticed that she was wearing different clothing than she was the night before. It was almost business-like. He was curious why she was wearing that, and heels, in the middle of the woods. It was then that he noticed the blood covering her hands and clothing, even some staining the nude stockings she wore.
Immediately he moved to her, quickly assessing her body for damage, and trying to find the source of the large amounts of blood that were on her body.
"We-we need your help, please," she pleaded as she grabbed onto his robes the minute he was near enough.
Hermione snatched his hand, yanking him to the figure that was on the ground.
"We Apparated, but…well, Ron was splinched! I had Dittany with me, but it shattered, and he's lost so much blood already,"
Severus noted how severely upset she was and how she kept wiping her eyes with the sleeve of her jacket. He turned his eyes to the boy on the ground, and found a pale looking Weasley with a rather ugly arm injury that was bleeding profusely.
"Stay here," Severus muttered before Apparating back to Spinner's End.
Immediately he found the bottle he was looking for and Apparated back to Hermione. She was back on her knees, trying to sooth Weasley though he barely seemed conscious. Without a word, he uncapped the bottle and poured a generous amount on the wound, watching the skin heal itself. Weasley was groaning in pain, and Hermione was quietly soothing him.
"Come on, Hermione, let's set up the tent and get him inside," Potter said.
"I can't stand right now, I have to get my bearings back for a second," Hermione replied, staying seated on the ground, her hands clenched in her lap.
"Are you hurt?" Severus immediately asked upon hearing that she couldn't stand.
"No, I'm fine, I just need a moment to calm down," she said brushing the hair from her face with a shaky hand.
"Hermione, don't you think he should leave? They're all going to be after us now," Potter muttered to her.
"I trust him Harry, it's all we have left," Hermione replied in a tired voice.
Severus was quiet for a moment, looking at the two, his heart jumping into his throat.
"What did you do?"
The silence that radiated around the woods was nearly deafening to Severus. Potter shuffled his feet and Hermione refused to lift her eyes from the ground.
"What the bloody hell do you three do?" he roared.
"We broke into the Ministry, alright?" Potter snapped back.
"Harry!" Hermione hissed.
"He's going to find out sooner or later, Hermione! It'll be all over the Daily Prophet tomorrow!"
"You couldn't have," Severus said, shaking his head.
When the two refused to look at him, he knew what he didn't want to believe.
"You did, oh bloody hell, we're in for it now," he growled.
"What do you mean?" the ever eager Gryffindor asked.
"Did it ever pass through that brilliant mind of yours that you were supposed to be under my supervision at the time of your little escapade? Do you have any idea the stories I'm going to have to make up to save my neck, as well as yours?"
By the shame that filled her features, she had not thought about it.
"No doubt you were seen?" he asked.
She nodded, her pale face looking sickly.
"I'll…well, I just won't go back with you then. You can say that I ran away, in the middle of the night so you couldn't catch me, then-"
"Then he'll kill me before I even mutter anything as ridiculous as that,"
"He can't kill you if I ran away," she said, her face paling even more as they talked about his death.
"No, but he can kill me for being so damn neglectful. Why did you need to get into the Ministry anyway?"
The look on her face told him everything.
"You can't say,"
"No,"
The three remained silent, as Weasley was unconscious on the ground.
"You…you will be able to lie, won't you?" her sweet innocent voice asked.
"Of course I'll be able to lie; whether that saves my neck is a whole other story,"
In an instant the woman at his feet was hyperventilating, grasping at her chest and crying. What could he do? Severus couldn't exactly fall to the ground and hold her, even though he desperately wanted to. Potter was standing right there, and surely their cover would be blown. They've said enough in front of him already, no doubt he would know that something wasn't quite right with the two.
Instead, he squatted so he was on eye level with her, and stared into her wide eyes.
"It's not the end of the world,"
"He's going to kill you, he's going to kill you and it's all my fault," she gasped with watery eyes.
"I'll worm my way out of this like I've wormed my way out of other things, I've been doing this for twenty years, I know how it goes,"
"Still, how could I be so stupid! So reckless!"
"We had to, Hermione! It was the only way!" Potter suddenly snapped.
"Harry, that stupid locket isn't worth it!"
"Yes it is, you know it is," Potter growled.
"We could have gone about it in a different way,"
"How? How were we supposed to break into the Ministry in a 'different way'? There was no other way!"
Before Severus could say another word, the Dark Mark began burning. A simple hiss from his lips and Hermione already knew.
"Oh God," she moaned.
"Come on, we're going to have to do a hell of a job to get out of this," he muttered standing.
"We!" she squeaked, still on the ground.
"Well if I show up there without you, I'll never see the light of day again. At least if you're with me, there's a small chance that I'll be forgiven,"
She seemed to know that this was the only way, because her face had suddenly taken on the look of one who knew they were about to die. Without thinking, he held out his hand, and she took it without a moment of hesitation. Severus pulled her to her feet, as his eyes flashed over her blood streaked face. At least she looked the part.
"Follow my lead and do not speak unless asked to reply,"
"Wait…no! You're not taking her to him! You sick bastard!" Potter roared.
Hermione walked over to Weasley, and kneeled down in order to place a kiss on his pale cheek. The instant she looked at Potter, she burst into tears and flung herself on him.
"You're my best friend Harry, and I know you can figure this out, even without me. Just talk to Ron, and put your heads together, and I know you can win for us. Good luck, I love you,"
"Hermione, it sounds like you're saying goodbye…for good," Potter said a little choked up.
"I don't know if I am Harry, I…don't worry about me, okay? There are more important things that need to be done. Remember, never lose focus. I'll leave you some notes that I took, that should help you for a while, until you get a new lead,"
The two pulled apart, Hermione sobbing, Potter appearing to be choking on something.
"Tell Ron that I love him, and he's my best friend…and thank him again for that mountain troll thing, okay? I wouldn't be here without either of you," Hermione said with a sad attempt at a laugh.
Potter nodded, and Hermione gently kissed his cheek.
"I love you,"
With one final hug, Hermione turned her back on Potter, and immediately took Severus by the hand, where they Apparated to Malfoy Manor.
The two stood still, grasping each other's hand, staring at the looming manor ahead.
Severus knew the odds of them walking out alive were slimmer than he would be comfortable with, but he was certainly not going to mention it to the woman beside him who was staring at the house as if it was her death sentence. He watched as she swallowed, accepting her fate with her head held high.
Severus stood still for a moment, forcing himself to become the man that the Dark Lord expected to see. Grinding his teeth, he snatched her arm, and began dragging her towards the house rather violently. She gasped beside him, stumbling desperately in his wake trying to stay upright.
Quicker than he would like, they reached the door, and he threw it opened, dragging her into the dusty air.
Severus immediately felt the woman freeze up, and try to pull herself out of his grasp, but her feeble attempts to get away were nothing. With a note of protest falling from her lips, Severus yanked her up the stairs, burying his emotions deep inside him.
They reached the room he had walked through so many times before, and found the Dark Lord patiently waiting for them, with a few Death Eater's by his side.
"Severus," he hissed softly.
"My lord," he replied, roughly releasing the woman who was stiff as stone beside him.
"I see you've bought the little trouble maker with you,"
"Believe me, my Lord, she will be severely punished for her behavior," Severus hissed glaring at the bushy head beside him.
"No doubt she will be, but what of your behavior? You let her escape,"
Before he could respond, he collapsed on the floor, completely engulfed in pain. Severus heard her scream, and laughter.
"Don't hurt him! No!"
She suddenly was screaming again, and the pain left his body, allowing him to peel open his eyes and look around the room. Immediately he looked at her, and found her being restrained by one of the larger Death Eater's as she looked at him with wide eyes which were streaming tears.
The two stared at one another, and the Dark Lord stood from his seat and walked over to the scene.
"What is this? Does the Mudblood care for the Death Eater?" he cooed softly.
Hermione was breathing heavily, staring at his form on the floor.
"What a shame,"
And once again, Severus was immersed in pain, groaning on the floor, swallowing his pain. Through the years of torture, he knew how to keep most of his cries smothered and buried within himself.
"Stop! Please! Stop!" he heard her scream, sounding as if she was struggling to get away from her captor.
Severus continued to writhe on the floor, emitting sounds of pain, and Hermione kept screaming her pleas. Finally the pain stopped, and Severus stayed still, panting on the ground.
"And what are you willing to do in order to spare him?"
Severus opened his eyes, and saw her once again staring at him.
"Take the pain for him?" the Dark Lord offered, dragging his wand across her cheek and down the slender column of her neck.
He wanted to scream at her not to, but that would reveal his own feelings. Even before he could decide, he saw her nod her head, causing a few tears to drop from her face and onto the dusty wooden floor.
The next moment, he heard the worst sound he has ever heard in all his years on Earth. A blood curdling scream echoed around the room, constant, never seeming to end. The scream physically crushed his chest, making it hard for him to breath. His eyes found their way to the form flailing on the ground, the inhuman scream still echoing. He had never beheld a worse sight than the one he was now witnessing.
The Dark Lord lowered his wand, and glided to her side before gracefully lowering his body to the ground.
"I would make our dear Severus here torture you for my enjoyment, but that would severely hinder my plans,"
Severus had sat up at some point, and was staring at the scene with baited breath. He watched as the Dark Lord ran one long pale finger down her tear stained cheek. She didn't so much as flinch. Not that she could, her body was in shock.
Swiftly, the Dark Lord stood, and once again began torturing the young Gryffindor, who was releasing scream after scream as the pain contorted her body. Severus found his way to his feet, feeling as if he was about to be sick from the sight.
His eyes flashed around the room, to the other Death Eaters who were present, and they all had sick, twisted smiles on their faces. Severus forced his face to remain hard, but he was sure some of his disgust was written clear as day across his features.
The scene stretched on and on. Screaming, laughing, taunting, more screaming. Severus felt his joints aching from standing so long. He thought of only one thing through the screaming: She was doing this for him.
The more he thought about it, the more he felt like the weight of the world was attempting to crush the very life from his body. He always knew that she was selfless…but this was far too much. Severus was happy that she wasn't searching for his eyes while she was being endless tortured. He knew he wouldn't be able to keep himself under control if she did. He wanted to scoop her off of the dirty wood, hold her tightly to his chest, and take her far away from this house. He wanted to hold her forever, making sure that she never so much as got a splinter.
Severus was failing Dumbledore, and he was failing her. He had promised that he would keep her safe, and now look at her.
It was then that Severus realized that the screaming had stopped. He turned his eyes to the limp figure on the ground, breathing heavily with a light sheen of sweat covering her skin. Severus wished someone would kill him as he looked into her glassy eyes. She was broken.
"I desperately wanted to see you torture her, Severus, but that would cause her to mistrust you, and we can't have that, not while we're so close," the Dark Lord said, heading back to the head of the table.
"Take her away," he said dismissively, waving his hand as his snake slithered across the floor to his feet.
As if his body didn't belong to him, he found himself moving towards the broken body lying still on the floor. He noticed that her eyes showed a small sign of life upon seeing him bending over her. Severus grasped her hand, feeling how cold it was, and gently pulled her up. In a daze, he watched as she willingly complied with his wishes.
Soon, she was on her feet, Severus supporting most of her weight against his side. The two headed towards the door, she made no sound, and he did not look back. Down the dark stairs and into the overcast day the couple went. The moment they had reached the gates Severus wrapped her in his arms and Apparated back to Spinner's End.
They appeared on a hill, with a single tree, which overlooked the small town. As their eyes glanced over the sleepy town, the pretenses lowered.
With a sob, and a small cry of pain, Hermione sunk to the ground, but Severus had already caught her and was gently lowering her down along with himself. He desperately held her against his chest, rocking her gently, not knowing what to do with himself. He looked towards the sky, wishing that Albus was here to help him. He needed someone.
He could feel her muscles seizing, and glanced down at her. Her face was pressed deeply into his chest, and she was violently sobbing and clutching at his clothing.
"Shh," he whispered brushing her hair from her face which was white as a sheet. "I know it hurts," he muttered, pulling her closer to him as he felt her press her face into the crook of his neck.
After a few more minutes, in which he gently stroked her hair, Severus maneuvered her into his arms and swiftly stood. Immediately her arms locked around his neck as her head rested on his shoulder. Severus took large strides, anxious to get her into bed…or something. There wasn't anything he could do for her. No pain potion would work, nothing worked against the Cruciatus Curse.
Severus spotted the door and took more purposeful strides towards their safe haven. He never thought that he'd see the day he was happy to be back in his childhood home. Without pausing, he walked through the door and straight up the stairs. Severus could feel her harsh breath on his neck, shortened and uneven due to the pain she was still feeling.
Instantly he bypassed her room and headed towards his own. He wasn't even ashamed that he hadn't made the bed, or cleaned in a week.
Severus placed her gently in the bed, and she unwrapped her arms from around his neck and fumbled with the bag that had managed to remain draped across her body. Finally, she pulled the strap over her head, and weakly dropped it over the side of the bed. He could hear the books and glass clattering around as she fought the jacket off of her body.
Severus saw that she was struggling and helped slip the material off of her arms. Once she was freed from the jacket, she fell back on the pillow, her hair fanning out around her head. Severus would have been enamored by the sight, had it been at any other time but this one. He watched as she rolled onto her side, away from him with a groan before burying her face in the pillow. Severus left the room and found a basin, and filled it with water before grabbing a towel and finding his way back to the bedroom.
Quietly he made his way around the bed, placing the basin down and dipping part of the towel into the warm water. Severus gently lowered himself onto the bed and pulled her hand towards him. Gentler than he had been in years, he began to clean the blood from her hands. Before long, the water was red, but at least her hands were clean. He had just placed her clean hand on the bed when he suddenly felt her cold hand lock around his fingers.
"Please don't," she whispered in a broken voice.
Severus didn't reply, but gently placed his other hand over hers, feeling the cold skin beneath his fingers.
"Why does it still hurt?" she whimpered as her face contorted in pain.
Severus cleared his throat, making sure his voice didn't crack.
"You aren't used to…being repeatedly tortured…your muscles have gone into shock. It should take a few hours for them to relax,"
"Stay," she muttered, as her eyes slipped closed.
He remained frozen for a few moments, before his eyes roamed across her body, searching for any more injuries. Her knees were scrapped up, and he instantly set to cleaning them. Vanishing her stockings, he began wiping them down, causing her to hiss out in pain. Severus pulled her shoes from her feet, and carelessly tossed them off of the bed. Once her feet were freed, she curled her legs up and sighed deeply.
Severus emptied the basin with a flick of his wrist before refilling it again. Softly, he ran the towel across her cheek, wiping away the blood, dirt, and tears that marred her beautiful face. Her eyes slowly opened, and Severus couldn't bring himself to look at her, instead, paying careful attention to her skin.
When he was done, he sat on the edge of the bed, his head hanging so low it was nearly on resting on his chest.
"Why?" he finally asked softly.
"Why what?" Hermione replied through another bout of pain.
"Why did you put yourself in danger for me?"
"I couldn't…when you were on the floor…I couldn't watch it anymore,"
"And how do you think I felt?" he snapped, glaring at her over his shoulder.
"Hopefully grateful,"
"I'm supposed to protect you, keep you out of harm's way, and I…failed,"
Severus felt her fingers lock around his arm, and he tensed immediately. He wanted to scream at her, he wanted to destroy things, he wanted to hold her in his arms and kiss her senseless, he wanted to tell her how much she had come to mean to him.
"I knew what I signed on for,"
"Regardless!" he cried standing from the bed, pacing the room. "You are not to do that again, do you understand? If the Dark Lord tortures me for hours, you are to stand there acting as if you've suddenly gone catatonic,"
"I can't do that! You've gone through years of torture for Dumbledore and the Order, and for our world, and it's high time somebody stepped in!"
"Well that somebody will not be you!"
"I-"
Hermione's response was suddenly cut off as her body arched in pain. Immediately Severus darted to her and pulled her into his arms.
"You need to relax so your muscles can relax," he said, feeling her muscles going through spasms.
"Well if you weren't fighting with me, they would be," she gasped out.
"I wasn't fighting with you, I was simply expressing some of my opinions concerning severe issues which have suddenly come up,"
"Why can't you ever accept that you're wrong?"
"I'm usually not," he said, sounding slightly full of himself.
She couldn't reply as another bout of pain washed over her, causing her hand to tighten on his shirt as her knuckles turned white with strain. Severus rubbed her back, trying to sooth some of her muscles. By the time the pain had passed, Hermione was paler than before, and she had small beads of sweat glistening on her forehead.
"I know, I'm such a baby. I have no tolerance for pain," she murmured quietly.
"I was the same way the first time I was tortured, it's to be expected,"
The silence stretched on, and her breathing slowed down to resume its regular pace.
"Thank you," he finally muttered, making sure he couldn't see her eyes.
"For?"
"Sacrificing yourself for my sake. Most people wouldn't put themselves in danger if it came to that,"
"When you care about someone, you find you'll do anything to save them," she muttered, sounding as if she was on the verge of sleep.
Severus remained frozen, knowing his eyes were wide in wonderment. This young woman just admitted that she cared for him, and would do anything to keep him from being in danger or pain. He glanced down at her, sleeping soundly on his chest, feeling her muscles twitching every now and then.
Severus was quite certain that he was falling in love with the brave Gryffindor.