AUTHOR's NOTE: So Shingyouji went missing after learning his sickness, I am sorry for some lack of medical information but I did tried hard. I was thinking so hard how will I do it trying to research facts for me to at least polish it I hope you would still enjoy it I guess but thank you for your efforts of reading my stories oh i would like to thank LottieWolf95 for adding my stories in her favorite list. I put past conversation in Italic font I hope that doesn't confuse you guys ^^ for those who take time to read this story thank you so much though I am still in work with one of my latest chapter and about the poems I made before I might still do some of them so just wait for it ok? Amai-Oshima is a beach in Kyushu I kind of check it in the net ^^.

I do not own Takumi-kun nor the pair just the storyline I also credit some News I see that I edit to be used in these story though I edit it.

Misu is still upset of not finding Shingyouji, he wonder why would his lover will be gone without any explanation he tried to call him through his phone but the number could not be reached, he punched the wall of the hospital where Gii tried to calm him down.

"Calm down? You're asking to do that while I have no idea where he went or why he suddenly left!" Misu trying to compose himself being reminded that they are in the premises of the hospital. He heard some of the nurses talking about his disappearance and tried to eavesdrop.

"He looks so sad after his meeting with Dr. Takahashi maybe he told him a bad news that's why." The nursed said.

"Really?" the other nurse trying to confirm what she heard.

Misu approached them and asked him where the doctor is and if he is available. As he went to his room he also had heard the young man's disappearance.

"I see this is bad." Remarked the elder man.

"Bad?" Misu confusedly asked.

"His chronic severe headache will prevent him from living a normal life. i advice him to get an operation as soon as possible and he is supposed to stay here 5 more days instead of being released today as planned."

"You mean Shingyouji's body is…" Misu put his hand to his face can't accept the news he is getting now.

"Seems like he had been pushed to his limit. You need to find him as soon as possible." The doctor told him.

He excused himself as he is attending another patient and Misu thank him for giving that information. As he went outside Takumi and Gii approached and was shock when they learn about their former kouhai's condition.

Back at Misu's apartment the lover stayed with him so they could be able to comfort their friend. After some hours he asked them to leave him alone, respecting his decision they left but promised him to help Misu to find his lover.

Being along in the apartment he reminisce their moment together, when Shingyouji moved in with him and suggest him to do some remodeling of the house. How they almost fight just because of arguing over the food to prepare. And when Shingyouji made fun of his sleeping face doodling on it. When he got sick where Shingyouji was almost awake taking care of him.

He went into their room and stare at his pictures, during their Tanabata Day in Shidou where he surprised him wearing a bunny costume. He tried hard to do things is never used to but he still for the young man.

He asked for a leave in school and start to look for him, he decided to go first to Shidou hoping he could find him since he knew that is one of the place Shingyouji would never forget and would go to. After an hour he had arrive in his former school.

Upon entering the school, some student knew him and paid respect to his arrival. As he stroll around the place memories of Shingyouji suddenly come back to him. Whenever he followed him around. He closed his eyes remember those times when they are going back from their first "date".

"I like it your back."

"Huh?" Misu asked confusedly.

""Back when I passed the test for Shidou I went looking for you right away. Running around here and there until I could see this back. Then as you promised you told me your first name and for some reason you liked me. And from then on I was always waking behind you like this watching your back like this."

Misu just stared at him when he was saying those words…

"But." Misu was wating for what the young man would tell him "After all I might not be able to stay beside you like this forever?"

Misu's hand gripped tighter as he feel everything all coming back to him. "Is this what you mean that you may not be able to stay beside me?" Misu went inside the hall and suddenly he stopped by the council room, he checked if there are any student, seeing the place empty he went inside, he touched the table and see the chair which is positioned in the place where his lover used to seat while watching him doing his papers.

As he continues to walked along the hall, he met Shimada-sensei their school Principal.

"Shingyouji was here?" Misu exclaimed upon hearing it from the old man.

"Yes but he left afterwards when I saw him. Did something happen Misu?" his former teacher asked worriedly.

"N-nothing sensei, Thank you so much and it's glad seeing you again." Misu left the teacher's lounge as he went outside he also saw Matsumoto-sensei talking with someone over the phone.

"Misu?" Matsumoto looked surprised seeing him.

He bowed to pay respect to his former teacher and head back to Tokyo. Even when he got back into school after his lecture ended he would still make time to look around in other places where Shingyouji could go to but to no avail he was not able to find him.

He also went to a park where they had their date during their anniversary but he was not able to see him there.

He went home hopeless that he could still find the young man. As he got back into his room he can't concentrate with his lover still missing it feels like he is not in the mood to do anything at all. He suddenly stared at the corkboard where there was an image of a beach where they promise to go once the school break begins.

"Amami-Oshima?" Misu staring at the picture the young man cut from a magazine.

"Yes I was thinking what if we go here just the two of us school break." Shingyouji cheerfully told him.

"Summer has just finished why are you planning in advance?" asked Misu.

"Because I know you well, you're the type of person that is very allergic of saying yes especially in this kind of outing and besides I think this place looks romantic isn't it?" remarked Shingyouji.

"Here we go again your being childish about stuff." He commented brushing off the topic.

"Please let's go here one the school break begins." Shingyouji pleaded his eyes were filled with hope that Misu will give a satisfactory answer.

"Alright we'll go there together promise." He sticks out his little finger making Misu to promise him that they will go to that place.

"Pinky promise, if I lie, I will drink 1000 needles, and cut my pink." Chanted the young man insisting Misu to say it with him.

"So childish." Commented Misu.

"Alright! So I will put it here so that you won't forget about your promise, every day you will see that picture and remember that we will go here." Shingyouji happily pinned it and hugged Misu.

"Baka! We still need to go to this place." Misu said as he tried to go back into his studying.

It was almost 2 weeks but still he can't still find Shingyouji, he phoned his lover's family where his grandmother was so worried upon hearing the news, with this Misu concluded that he is not there as well.

In the chemistry laboratory as they we're doing experiments Misu accidentally broke one of the test tubes as he picked one of the shards pricked into his fingers, Haibara assist him and put bandage into the wounded finger.

During their break time they had a conversation about Shingyouji, and even his friend was worried since he can't still be found. Gii and Takumi also phoned him to give him update if they find any news about their former kouhai.

Misu is already hopeless he wants to give up but he can't he still wants to exert effort to find him, as he prepare some food to eat the plate he is holding suddenly slipped into his hands, felt like having a bad omen as this happened twice in a day.

He turned on the television and suddenly sees the news about an accident in Tokyo Expressway.

"14 killed in Tokyo expressway accident

Fourteen people were killed and ten others were injured after a bus in which they were traveling was crushed between a trailer and a truck on an expressway in Tokyo's Koto Ward. According to police, a gas leaked cause the explosion of the vehicle.

The accident occurred at around 6:25 p.m. when the station wagon was hit from behind by a truck being driven by a 59-year-old man, TBS reported. It then collided with the trailer in front, causing extensive damage to the vehicle, killing four of the men, police said.

The driver of the truck, who has been named as Niigaki Takeshi, was quoted by police as saying he wasn't paying proper attention to the road ahead."

Misu with his eyes fixed in the news, suddenly his phone rings, thinking it should be his young lover he hurriedly answer the phone.

"Hello?" Misu was shocked and suddenly he glanced back at the TV. "Yes I'll be there right away." He hurried change his clothes took the key of his apartment. He reaches for his mobile phone and calls someone to accompany him.

"Saki, do you have time?" Misu asked his rival over the phone.

As they arrived at the place, Gii was shocked with people injured inside the hospital, Misu frantically look for Shingyouji, as Gii asked him if he had find to the young man there. Misu stands motionless seeing a corpse covered with a blanket, what made him that way was seeing the badly burned corpse was holding a necklace. Gii who had also seen the young man's body lowered his head expressing his sorrow.

Misu clearly remember that necklace was the one he gave to the young man on his birthday last year when Shingyouji insisted of wanting it for his birthday. His lover was first upset because he thought Misu did not give him any gift.

"Arata-san, you're so mean! You really did not buy that neck lace I want." Shingyouji pouted after he blew his candles.

"Why buy that stuff, aren't you happy you have a cake and aren't you surprise with my preparation." Misu asked him.

"But.." Shingyouji said gloomingly.

"Can you get the slicer in the cabinet, I am hungry already." He requested his lover.

Shingyouji walked towards the cabinet mumbling how bad he wanted that necklace, as he opened the cabin he was surprised to see a box wrapped up, he look at Misu looking away from him pretending not to know about the gift. He hurriedly open it and was surprise to see the necklace he wanted so badly.

"Arata-san" he walked towards Misu and hugged him tightly.

"Happy birthday Shingyouji." The older man kissed him on his lips and he put the necklace to him and thanked him all over again.

"Misu." Gii tried to comfort his former rival.

Misu run towards one of the police officers. And asked him about one of the victims.

"Are you one of the victim's relatives?" The police asked him.

"No we are his friend." Gii answered since Misu is not on his own mind to take any interrogation. "Do you have his belongings?" he continue to asked the policeman.

He assisted them and confirmed that it was the young man's properties. Misu clenched tightly into his lover bag as he opened them nothing is missing even his University ID was inside it. He went back seeing Shingyouji gone in a tragic way, he held him tightly no longer care if other people will see him as he breakdown in tears.

As they head home, Misu asked Gii to go away and, he was informed by his rival that the body will be cremated and he will help him to prepare a funeral for him.

As he left Misu stepped into his room he felt so weak. His tears filling are his eyes. He felt so useless. He felt like this world is against him completely. He tried his hard to show the guy how much he loved him but he will end up losing him. Misu buried his face in his palms. He fell on his knees. He could not hold it any longer. Finally… he broke down. The person named Misu Arata has finally broke down.

Misu cries as hard as he can. Tears after tears and sobs after sobs. His heart is being throbbed and ripped apart. Right now he wanted nothing but warmth of embrace. He felt so weak and too weak even to stand on his feet anymore. The burden that he has held felt heavier than ever. The things that happened. The things that he chose to be happening. It's suffocating him so badly. His whole body is aching. His head is spinning. He felt like is eyes were going to pop out.

The memories…

The pain…

The angst…

The rage…

They were all overpowering him. The memory that he had with the man who had changed him. They are all here. Misu lost his sense but he is still striving to get them back. He felt anger engulfs his sanity away. He can't help but to blame his self. He felt so mad of himself. His whole body is shaking. His eyes turned red with rage. Misu quickly stands up on his feet and pulled his hair.

"Aaaaarrrrgggggggggg!" He screams as loud as he could.

What would happen now to Misu?

Is it really Shingyouji that died in the accident?

Will his friends be able to cope up with his loss?

Find out next chapter, in advance I do apologize for some errors made in this chapter.