Walking on the Tracks Chapter 6
Old Man Presson's junkyard could have been the ideal place for teenage boys to hang out, if not for Old Man Presson...or his dog Chopper the most feared and least seen dog in Castle Rock. The rumour round school was that the old man had specially trained his dog to...let me try and put this in a less bolder way..."sic" the genitals of any kid who was stupid enough to get caught hanging around.
"Oh look Vern,I think your mom's been out driving again" Gordie said pointing at a wrecked car as we stood outside the fence looking in. "Oh that was so funny I forgot to laugh" Vern replied sarcastically. "Take no prisoners men!" Teddy suddenly yelled as he through his bag over the high fence in army fashion. After we all did the same thing Teddy and Vern jumped and started to climb the fence, Chris, Gordie and I followed.
"Man Teddy's crazy" I commented as Chris picked up his bag and dusted it off while Teddy ran through the junkyard yelling for America. "Yeah...he won't live to be twenty I bet" Chris said staring after him smiling. "Hey remember that time you saved him in the tree?" Gordie asked Chris.
A few months back in the fall when we were up in the treehouse, Teddy was prancing around imitating a soldier a bit too close to the trapdoor. He was in the middle of a dramatic shooting when all of a sudden he slipped back out of the door. Luckily Chris was there to grab his skinny arm and pull him back up to safety. I'll never forget the look on his face.
"Yeah" Chris replied "I still dream about it...except in the dream I only grab a couple of his hairs and down he goes...it's weird"."But you didn't miss him" Gordie smiled."Yeah cause Chris Chambers never misses does he?" I asked grinning. "Not even when the ladies leave the seat down!" Chris spat a clean shot.
"Hey Taylor I'll race ya" Gordie turned to me."Nah man, I don't feel like it" I shook my head."We'll race you to the end man come on!" Chris joined."No I don't wanna...GO!" I shot away from them running as fast as I could."OH YOU'RE A DEAD MAN TAYLOR!" I heard Chris yell as he and Gordie started to sprint after me.
I was on the track team at school so I was sorta good at running.
"And it looks like Taylor's got him this time...he's got Chambers and LaChance beat..." Chris narrated coming closer to me. "But Chambers is getting closer...".
"Not close enough!" I quickly sprinted away from them and made it to Teddy and Vern cheering as I did. Chris and Gordie jumped on me and we exploded into fits of laughter.
It was moments like this I lived for. Happy moments with my friends.
"Hey when you homos are done with your little love fest you can get your asses over here!" Teddy called over and we joined him and Vern.
We were aiming small rocks at an old rusty can sitting in front of a pile of metal as the warm sun beamed over us."Hey you guys been watching 'The Micky Mouse Club' lately?" Teddy asked."Yeah" we all replied, "I think that chick Annette's tots are getting bigger" teddy said. Typical Teddy to notice that. "You think so?" Chris asked,"yeah I think so" Teddy said. "Yeah I think you're right, I've been noticing that the A and E are starting to bend over the sides" Gordie demonstrated causing us to laugh at the thought. "Annette's tots are great" Vern concluded.
"This is a really great time" I said. "A blast!" Teddy added."The most" said Chris smiling as his blue eyes shone. I gotta admit that was a rare sight.
After that we had a little spitting competition with the can when Teddy decided to be a pisstaker and spit it in Poor Ol' Vern's face."Great spit at the fat kid!" Vern yelled as we hooted with laughter "what time is it Gordie?". "Um...it's a quarter after one" Gordie told us checking his watch. "We better get going" I said "junkyard opens at three and if we're still here...". "Ooh sick balls!" Chris laughed.
"Hey why don't you go Vern so you can pick us up on the way back?" Teddy suggested. "I'm not going alone we should all go!" Vern protested. "No...I don't want to..." Teddy and Gordie spoke over each other. "Girls girls! Cool it! We'll flip for it" Chris suggested. We all dug into our pockets and each pulled out a silver coin. "Odd man goes" Gordie said. "That's you Gordie,outta the eye outta the sky" Teddy commented. "Flip or eat lead" Gordie mumbled before we all flipped our coins and showed them. Four tails.
"That's a goocher!" Vern squeaked. "Oh come on Vern it doesn't mean anything! We'll go again!" Chris said but Vern wouldn't let up. "No man a goochers real bad...you remember those guys at the derm? Billy told me they were sipping for beers and they pulled a goocher before they got in the car and BAM! I don't like this sincerely". Vern shook his head and we all groaned.
"Verno! No one believes that crap about moons and goochers it's baby stuff" teddy told him "now come on flip again". We all re flipped but Vern stood still. "You gonna flip or not?" Teddy asked." C'mon Vern! We don't got all day!" Chris said and Vern finally flipped. Gordie was the odd man much to Teddy's joy. "Gordie just screwed the pooch!" He laughed. "Does the word 'retarted' mean anything to you?" Gordie coolly asked getting up. "Go and get the permissions you morphadite!" Teddy shook his head. "Don't call me any of your mother's pet names!" Gordie snapped leaving.
"What a wet end you are LaChance!" Teddy commented. "Shut up!" Gordie said turning round.
"I don't shut up..." Teddy started and we all joined in "I grow up and when I look at you I throw up UGHHH!" We all laughed as Gordie shook his head before responding "and then your mother goes round the corner and licks it up!".
We all booed at him and began wrestling as he walked away.
Like I've always said finding new and despicable ways to insult a friend's mother was always held in high regard.