Author's Note: I don't own South Park...but anyway, this chapter has heavy themes...just a warning.
Chapter five- Run, Butters P.O.V.
I stared up at the taller male, god damn it Kenny...why here, why now?
"O-Oh hi Kenny..." I whispered quietly, backing away. "A-Are you gonna beat me up?"
He smirked and nodded, "Hello Lori." He said menacingly as he grabbed at the front of my shirt, lifting me up. "You thought I was an idiot, didn't you? You were her all along you fucking faggot!"
My eyes widened as I stared at the angry blonde. "N-No." I stuttered. Oh hamburgers! Oh fuck! God, can you hear me? Please no!
"Don't lie you fucker." He said as he looked up at me , clenching his other fist angrily.
"P-Please don't." I whispered softly, shivering as I stared at him. I looked the other way, eyes clenching shut as I anticipated the punch. Hot tears rolled down my face as I whimpered, why did I have to cry? I'm so weak...
...
...why wasn't I feeling pain?
Reluctantly I opened my eyes and looked down at him, eyes widening as I noticed his head bowed and fingers flexing as if he couldn't decided whether or not he should hit me.
A moment later I was thrown to the grass. I looked up, dazed, as I watched Kenny retreat angrily, pulling a cigarette out of his pocket and lighting it. He kept walking, not looking back at me as he disappeared in the woods.
I laid there a few moments, that felt like hours as I stared at the sky, confused and disoriented. I would have laid there forever, trying to understand what just had happened, if my phone didn't decide to be too loud and obnoxious as Bradley texted me, wondering where I was seeing as I was suppose to be at his house half an hour ago.
All at once I wanted to call him, to run the rest of the way to his house, just to tell him what had happened. He's smart, he should know what that action had meant.
'Sorry, I got distracted, I'll be there in fifteen minutes.' I typed to him without really looking at the screen as I pulled myself up and brushed off. I sighed and started walking off toward the trail that led to Bradley's home.
"...So I just don't understand what happened exactly, why he didn't hit me." I had finished explaining everything, Kenny, the crossdressing, the bullying...
"Well, Jesus Butters..." He said, pinching the bridge of his nose. "Why didn't you tell me before?" He asked, frowning at me. "It would have helped, it would be a lot easier if you had." He said with a sigh, looking at me from across the room.
"I'm sorry..." I apologized, covering my face.
"Don't be...so what exactly do you want to do to fix this mess that you started?"
"Go back in time and fix it." I replied softly, sighing as I peeked at him, frowning as he rubbed his eyes, slightly tired.
"You can't do that, dumbass..." He mumbled. "How about we...go to the bar he works at on Friday and annoy the fuck out of him or something?" He smirked. "Or you could seduce him."
"Really brilliant." I said sarcastically. "That won't work at all, okay, dummy?"
He simply rolled his eyes. "Relax, I'm trying to help you."
"And failing." I whispered under my breath. "I'm just scared to walk around the corner now cause I'm afraid he will be there and waiting to kill me..."
"I'm sure there is a reason to why he didn't hurt you maybe he saw the tears-"
"I did not cry." I denied, even though my face was still a little red from crying earlier, it stuck to me for some reason.
"Look, Leopold, its obvious you bawled." He said as he looked the other in the eyes.
"Hey, you shut your-"
"HEY! SHIT HEAD!" The door flew open as an angry goth walked in. "Where the fuck is it?" Henrietta asked menacingly. "I swear I will curse you to the deepest, darkest part of hell, if you don't give my book back to me."
"I have no clue what you're talking about." Bradley said to her with a steady gaze.
Oh hamburgers...I should go...
"You fucking do." she seethed as she looked around the colorful room before stalking over to the nearby dresser and grabbing the black old book from on top of it. "I fucking knew it." She stomped over and glared at him and me. "Fucking conformists." She said before stomping out of the room.
"...Well that was rather odd." I mumbled, looking at him for an explanation. He just shrugged.
"Welcome to my life." Bradley said with an eye roll. "It sucks having an older sibling as bitchy as her." He said softly.
I simply sighed. "Mom wants another kid." I muttered.
"Isn't it a little late for that?"
I shrugged. "She misses her 'sweet little baby', I think she doesn't like me crossdressing as much as she says she thinks its cute."
"Well...crossdressing is weird, Butters. She already flipped when she thought your dad was gay-"
"Is secretly gay." I interrupted. "I think she wishes I was a girl."
"It seems like it. You do everything girly with her, I know you've painted your nails with her before because I've seen the blue metalic nail polish left behind on your nails."
I felt my cheeks heat up and I coughed, looking at my nails. "I really should be a girl." I muttered, ashamed of myself. Was this really right...?
"Hey...Butters...cheer up." He said with a frown, patting my back lightly.
"I should though...or I should be more manly, b-bein' gay is wrong, right?" I asked.
"No its not! You are yourself and that is what matters, no matter what anyone says about you. You are you and that is all you need to be, if people say its wrong, they can shove it because who gives a rats ass about their opinion?" He asked huffily.
I smiled weakly. "Thanks..." I said as I sighed and flipped open my phone to check the time before I got up. "I should head home...actually...I think I need a few drinks, wanna go with me? Got your fake ID?" I smiled as I asked.
He raised an eyebrow before jumping up. "Hell yes, lets go! Wait wait wait, are you going to be 'Lori'?"
I nodded and he sighed before shrugging and grabbing his jacket. "That's who my ID says I am."
"Liar, I know you have two ID's...but whatever, at least I'll look like I have a fake date." He smirked and we left his house.
The club was extra lively tonight, the music pumped loudly as we made our way inside, I tapped my black pumps to the music. I was proud of myself. Bradley told me that if I was a girl and dressed the way I was tonight, he would go after me, and he is awfully picky.
"So this is your favorite place?" Bradley asked, breaking me from my thoughts.
"Yeah." I replied, looking at him, smiling gently. My smile stopped when my butt was grabbed. Jumping, I elbowed the man behind me, giving him a glare, ignoring the pink tinge to my cheeks.
He smirked down at me, giving a sexy smile. "Hey hottie," He said, the smell of alcohol dancing through my nostrils. "Why don't you come home with me?" He asked softly, smirking as he tugged on my black dress that only reached mid-thigh.
I hissed and pushed his hand away. "No thanks." I stepped away and looked into his chocolate colored eyes. "I'm not looking for someone to go home with."
"Aw, come on..." He said with a smirk.
"No." I said sternly, walking away with Bradley. "Goddamn..." I mumbled.
"Does this always happen?" He asked me. I shook my head simply and sighed.
"Not usually." I said softly before stopping and turning him in a different direction. "Kenny's serving drinks over there." I explained as I sat at a different bar, looking up at him as he joined.
A young punk looking lady walked over, tongue playing with the lip piercing she had, that was one of many piercings. I looked up at her blue tipped spiky hair before looking down at her black and blue gothic dress that matched. She looked good and I felt jealous that I couldn't appear as stunning as she did.
"What would you like to drink sweetie?" She asked, licking her lips as she eyed me.
"Bloody Mary?" I asked, looking at Bradley who ordered as well.
"Alright," She winked at me. "I'll be back in a moment." She walked off to make the drinks.
"I think she likes you, 'Lori'." I glanced over at Bradley and rolled my eyes.
"I wonder how she would look when I told her that I had a dick." I said as I smirked. My friend laughed and rolled his eyes.
"That would be amusing." He said softly.
I just nodded and took my drink when it was brought back, ignoring the girl who just huffed.
"O-Okay...I'll be back, I'm going to g-grab my coat." I slurred to Bradley as I walked out of the club, stumbling down the sidewalk. I was wasted beyond comprehension. Somewhere in the back of my mind I knew I heard the footsteps approaching me and that this was a bad idea, but in the rest of my mind I was drunk and high off god-knows-what and it was a hallucination to me.
"Hey honey..." A voice broke my thoughts and I spun to face whomever spoke it, looking up at a tall, dark haired, chocolate eyed male.
"Hey sexy~" I slurred, smiling gently at him. "What are you doing out here?" I asked, looking up at him.
"Looking for you." He smirked and gripped my arm, pulling me into an alley. "I know you aren't a female, dear, but I don't think that really matters." He smirked once more as the dim light .from the street crept into the alley and danced across his face. "Males are tighter."
I looked around and tried to pull my arm away, panic sweeping over me as I was pinned to the brick building behind me. "L-Let me go." I slurred, trying to pull my arm away again and slip from his grip.
"I don't think so." He spun me around and licked my neck, biting into the flesh sharply. I whimpered and tried to push away again before screaming,
"HELP!" I cried loudly, before he covered my mouth and slid up my skirt, pulling down my underwear. I heard a zipper being unzipped and I bit down on his hand before I was slapped roughly, my head falling to the side. I took in a deep breath and screamed loudly as I was pushed into dry, blood sliding down my thighs.
He ignored me, just covering my mouth again as I started to sob, shaking and pounding my fists against the wall. This seemed to last forever, each thrust and pull seemed to drag more and more out of me. I should've passed out by now, I lost too much blood.
When it came to the point where I couldn't bear it, I finally felt him slide out with a grunt and a thud. I stayed huddled against the wall, eyes shut tightly, too scared to move. A hand pressed against my side and I jumped as my underwear was pulled up and my skirt was pulled down to cover me.
I was too confused, my heart racing a million miles a minute. "Go home Butters," A soft shaky voice whispered. I didn't need to be told twice, I ran from the alley, even in my pumps I could run, if I ignored the pain in my behind.
Bradley can get a ride home from someone else. I needed to get away.
"Butters?" My mother called from behind my bedroom door. "You haven't come out since the night before last...are you okay?"
"Yes, just leave me alone, please!" I cried, shivering under my blanket. When I had gotten home I stripped and took a long shower, crying the entire time. Afterwards I laid down in my bed and attempted to sleep.
All I had were nightmares, I woke up and hadn't slept since. I just laid in a ball on my bed, staring at the wall. I ignored every text I received, every message online. I didn't eat anything. I felt so dirty and raw. I felt so disgusting.
The water couldn't wash away the gross feeling, nothing could, fresh blood soaked my legs from every time I moved a wrong way and I really had to pee. I still didn't move. I think we needed to repaint my wall soon.