Dolphin-san: Hello there! I had the idea for a nice little Kai and Ray scene today on the bus (no not anything sexual, they're just not there yet), so when I got home I just sat and wrote till my hands felt like they were falling off. Hope you enjoy this.

Chapter 33

The salon was packed to bursting on Monday morning, but one voice was still clearly audible above the rest. Eleanor Slater, a former Tory front-bencher with a grossly inflated sense of her own irresistibility, was making sure everyone knew she was there. Since losing her seat at the last election, Eleanor had swiftly relaunched herself as a fearless radio interviewer, famed for her ability to flirt and simultaneously stick the knife in. There was nothing she was too bashful to say. She particularly relished embarrassing other people in public, and accusing them of being prudes.

She was grotesque, and Ray would have loathed her even if he didn't have a hangover the size of Harrods. He waited for Eleanor to stop booming instructions to her PA into her Dictaphone.

'. . . and firm up that interview with Terry for tomorrow morning. If he's pushed for time, we'll do it in his car between meetings.' Leaving the tape running, she smirked provocatively at Takao's reflection in the mirror. 'It wouldn't be the first time, but don't tell his dull little wife that. Now, what can I do for you, dear?' She swivelled briskly round in her chair, eyeing Ray with unconcealed amusement. 'Are you waiting to ask me something or can you just not remember what you're supposed to be doing next?'

Patronising old cow.

'Tea or coffee?' said Ray.

'Tea.' Eleanor was renowned for her split-second decisions; she didn't hang about. 'Anything, so long as it's herbal.'

Ray wondered if deadly nightshade counted as herbal.



'Oh, and I need some contraception for this afternoon,' Eleanor went on. Delving into her briefcase, she produced a ten-pound note. 'Pop along to the chemist, would you, dear? Pick me up a packet of condoms.' Her strident voice, so used to the tricky acoustics of the House of Commons, effortlessly drowned out a dozen hairdryers. 'Actually, better make that two packets.'

Don't try to embarrass me, thought Ray.

Aloud he said, 'What flavour?'

Oh bum, now he'd probably get the sack.

But when he finally dared to look in the mirror, Takao was carefully cutting the back of Eleanor's hair and doing his level best not to smile.

By the time Ray returned from the chemist, Eleanor had recovered her composure. She opened one of the cellophane-wrapped packets, took out two condoms and tucked them into the back pocket of Ray's midnight blue jeans.

'There you are dear. Be Safe, Be Happy!'

This was the slogan adopted by the government for its latest For-God's-sake-use-something campaign.

Ray gazed without enthusiasm at the packet in Eleanor's hand.

Happy? What was that?

Since he was planning on being celibate from now on, he would definitely be safe.

But he had no intention of being happy.

The door swung open behind them as Kai and Tony Vale, loaded with video equipment, arrived in the salon.

Eleanor, a tireless media-whore, perked up at once.

'Everywhere I go, I'm pursued by cameras,' she trilled. Twirling round in her chair, she eyed Kai with greedy approval. 'Now, now, I don't remember fixing this up.' She waved a naughty boy finger at him. 'Which company do you work for, and who told you I'd be here?'

Kai surveyed her, his expression impassive.

'Nobody did. We aren't here to film you.'

Just this once – and despite his cracking headache – Ray could have kissed him.

Witnessing the deflation of the strident ex-MP nobody liked, several other women within earshot sniggered.

'They're making a documentary,' Takao explained to a disbelieving Eleanor, 'about Ray.'

The filming took less than an hour. Afterwards, Tony Vale loaded the equipment into the back of a cab and headed back to the studio. Kai bore Ray off to the coffee bar around the corner and ordered him a hot chocolate.

'So, are you sure you want to do it?'

Ray's glass of hot chocolate was topped with whipped cream and cocoa powder. If he tried to drink it he'd look as if he'd been attacked by the Phantom Flan Flinger.



'Oh yes.' Using his finger, which was on the unsteady side, Ray scooped off the top layer. Halfway to his mouth, the dollop of whipped cream slid free and plopped messily back into his glass.

'Because I can arrange everything,' said Kai. 'But you have to be really sure.'

'Look, I am.' Ray wished everyone would stop treating him like an invalid; he was trembly because he had a hangover, not because he was upset. 'Didn't we spend enough time going over this last nigh? Takao's all for it, Max's all for it, it's not going to cost anything because you're going to sell it . . .'

He paused, frowning, and trawled his finger speculatively through the cream mountain once more.

'What?'

'The only thing I don't get is, what's in it for you?'

Kai fiddled with the clasp of his wallet, which was lying on the table. Now how was he meant to answer this one?

Or rather, how was he meant to answer this one without giving himself away completely?

'There's nothing in it for me,' he said at last. 'I just think you deserve to be treated better than the way he's treated you. Max as well,' he added. 'You both deserve better.'

'Do you like Max?' said Ray abruptly. For some reason the question had been praying on his mind all week. 'I mean, do you . . . fancy him?'

Kai almost laughed aloud.

'No. No, of course I don't fancy Max.'

Next question, he silently willed Ray to ask.

Instead, Ray let out a yelp as a blob og whipped cream dropped form his finger, landing on the front of his T-shirt.

'Bugger.' Scooping the worst of it off and gazing in dismay at the chocolate-streaked stain, he dragged a crumpled tissue out of the back pocket of his jeans. Something else flew out at the same time, catapulting through the air behind him and landing at the feet of a man engrossed in his copy of The Times.

Kai retrieved it while Ray scrubbed energetically at his front with the tissue.

'It's no good, it won't come out. Lucky we've got spares back at the salon.'

'Um, you dropped this.'

The look on Kai's face was to die for. He was trying so hard to appear nonchalant.

'Oh, thanks.' Ray took it from him. 'Always make sure I keep one with me at work.' He patted his pocket. 'After all, you never know who might come into the salon.'

Yes, yes, there was that look again . . .

'You are joking,' Kai said finally.

'Of course I'm joking. Ha, you're easily shocked, aren't you?' Beaming, Ray neatly tucked the condom into Kai's wallet, which lay unfastened on the table between them. 'It was a present from Eleanor Slater, if you must know. And now it's yours.'



'Why?' Kai gazed at his wallet in alarm. God, how horrible if using Eleanor Slater's condom meant he had to think of Eleanor Slater. Now there was an effective contraceptive device in a league of its own.

'You may as well have it,' said Ray. 'The way my life's going, I won't be having sex again before I'm eighty.

As they were leaving the coffee bar, Ray's attention was caught by a photograph of Bryan Kutsenov in The Times sports section.

Next to him, Kai was saying, 'Everything that happens in life, it's for the best.'

This was evidently meant to reassure him.

Flick, went the newspaper and Bryan briefly disappeared from view.

'Okay, come on, that's complete cobblers for a start,' Ray retaliated. 'If I ran out into the road now and got knocked down by a bus, what would be so great about that?'

'Okay, stupid remark, forget I said it.' Kai smiled. 'I was just trying to cheer you up.'

'Well, don't. You're useless at it.'

The man holding his Times turned a page and Bryan magically reappeared.

'What are you peering at?'

'Nothing,' Ray said shiftily. But it was too late; Kai had already followed the line of his gaze.

'Bryan Kutsenov? He did pretty well yesterday,' said Kai.

Ray had forgotten all about the Canadian Grand Prix. He'd had other things on his mind.

'Where did he finish?'

'Second.'

'Second? That's brilliant!' Ray's eyes widened with delight. That would really move Bryan up the table . . . heavens, it put him only seven points behind the current leader. Not that he'd been keeping score, of course. Well, not much . . .

'There you go,' Kai observed, his tone dry. 'I knew I could cheer you up.'

Dolphin-san: Well, there you go. What do you think is going to be happening next? Oh, this is all so exciting!