Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended.

A/N:Suggested Listening: Song For You by Alexi Murdoch, Can't Take My Eyes Off You by Cary Brothers, Angel's Wings (Acoustic) by Social Distortion, A Decent Cup Of Tea by Frank Turner.

Warning: Spoilers for Doctor Who (2005), Series 1 and 2.

Chapter Twenty-Two: I'm An Asshole

Embry POV

"So then she was like 'well maybe you can show me some time?' And dude, she wanted me.. I could practically smell it on her." His lip disappeared between his teeth as he hammered the controller with his thumb, trying to make the virtual bullets shoot harder, or something. We only had one left, since he'd broken the other in a fit of gamer-rage. Super-strength and plastic electronics do not mix.

I wrinkled my nose, trying desperately to banish the thought that he probably could smell it on her. "Alright, I get it. Ladies Love Quil-A. I got the email."

He smirked triumphantly, eyes darting from the screen, and raised his brows, but I interrupted before he launched into the well-rehearsed sales-pitch.

"Nobody's going to be on board with that. And stop trying to make up your own nicknames."

"Well fuck, dude, anything's gotta be better than 'SeQuil'," he whined, brow furrowing at the game, and I tried my hardest not to laugh. Ever since it had been pointed out that the Atearas were overly fond of repeating first names – he himself being the fifth - it kind of stuck. To this day he didn't know that I, his best friend, happened to be the one to come up with it in the first place. I think the worst part for him was the fact that several of the hotter girls from the Rez referred to him that way.

"Do something cool and dangerous, then we'll talk, alright?" I acquiesced, scrolling through my cell as another message from Bella came through. It was partially my fault he was stuck with a name he hated around school, after all, the least I could do was help him get rid of it.

You're a huge dork, Embry Call :)

I smiled widely at her response, pleased with myself probably more than I should have been. I'd sent her the lyrics to "You've Got A Friend In Me" from Toy Story, countering her claim that she had nothing to do all day because she was 'Weirdo Bella' and had no friends. The feeling that making her smile gave me was probably the dorkiest thing of all.

"Speaking of dangerous... you got a complete lack of self-respect, or what?" he said, nodding to the phone as he concentrated. He was searching the level for a health pack, his life-bar dwindling by the second.

Setting the phone on my lap, I picked up my bottle of soda and raised an eyebrow in question as I opened it. "Huh?"

His character died before he found the health pack, and he swore, dropping the controller to the floor and flopped back on the bed. He was eyeing me as he leaned up on his elbows, picking the stained sheet absently. "You know what I'm talking about."

Even though I was pretty sure I did, there was a part of me that didn't want to discuss how I'd spent my Sunday with anyone but who I'd spent it with, and especially not someone who knew I wasn't just innocently keeping a friend company. "She invited me over, was I supposed to tell her to go suck it?"

"No, but don't you think you're kind of torturing yourself? I mean.. come on, dude, you know as well as I do that you're not going to get what you really want here. And that's before Jake finds out about it."

I bristled. "I know that – why do you have to assume that I'm after more than just being a friend? We're not all just looking to get laid..."

He narrowed his eyes at me, but I knew he wasn't mad. "Yeah, because you know you're just going to strike out anyway. Leave it up to the real men."

"Wow, thanks," I muttered, picking up the controller for myself before something occurred to me. "You think he'll really be weird about it?"

Quil shot me a withering look, and I knew he was right. I knew Jake better than he knew even himself, and although his mind was somewhere else these days, it wasn't like he'd had his memory erased.

"I know," I huffed, "You're right. But it's not like that. We're friends."

Quil laced his hands behind his head. "Sure, and Jake doesn't even have that anymore."

I focused my attention back on the screen, trying to distract from the guilty feeling stirring in my stomach. I hadn't even done anything - just hung out with her - yet somewhere deep down I knew that if it was all so innocent, I wouldn't have gone to lengths to hide it from my best friend.

My other best friend was still musing aloud, twisting the guilt further. "Remember how Jake was always so great about sharing his toys?"

"Yeah," I sighed, knowing where this was going.

"And then, the first time he wanted anything for his own - was the day Bella came over." The day we met her. "I just think you should think about this... it's not just any girl."

"Don't you think I know that?" I said, getting slightly irritated. "But this isn't about Jake. Not everything is about him, and how he gets affected. In case you hadn't noticed, he kinda came out the winner in all of this, while Bella was left – again – by someone who was supposed to love her. Do you have any idea what that does to your self-worth? Shouldn't she get to choose who she spends her time with, if it just makes her happy?"

He sat up again and frowned at me. "Whoa, been thinking about this a lot, huh?"

I huffed out a sigh and shook my head. "No," I lied, "But it's the truth."

"Yeah, well, it's just strange that the one time you show some balls is when you're thinking with 'em," he smirked. I took a deep breath and unpaused the game, just as a voice carried through the hallway from the front door.

"Guys, we're coming in, so stop making out!" I froze at his voice, throwing a glance to Quil who looked as much of a deer-in-headlights as I must have. Jake's scent was mingled with another that we'd come to associate with him, and probably would for the rest of our lives. It was all confirmed when he appeared in the doorway, Melanie trailing behind, holding his hand.

"You know we wouldn't wanna start without you, Gorgeous," Quil quipped with a wink, and I was still too uncomfortable to reply. It was clear he hadn't overheard the conversation – Jake was never one to play dumb when it came down to it, but I was still on-edge about it all. I just hoped that Melanie provided the usual level of distraction for him.

"Glad to hear it," he grinned "Want me to get rid of the cock-block here?" was the next joke, and he threw an arm around Melanie's shoulder and kissed her head as she laughed and playfully batted him away.

"Gee, sorry to impose, guys. I was just wondering if Quil had managed to finish the third chapter of 'Atlas Shrugged'," she said, and a look of guilt I'd only seen appear on Quil's face when the obligatory my-homework-fell-down-the-toilet excuse was coming up made an appearance. He'd lost a bet with her last week after he claimed she was lying about the existence of a town called "Middelfart" in Denmark. Melanie knew all sorts of crap that was of no use to anyone.

"Your boyfriend's been working me too hard. Gimme a break, slave-driver," he whined, eyes darting to the pristine copy sitting by his pillow. I could tell even from a cursory glance that it hadn't been touched.

"Hey, you're the one who refused to do the forfeit."

"Plus, he's completely lying," Jake interjected. "He hasn't patrolled since Saturday, and even then, he just spent the day eating cake with Bella."

Quil gave an exaggerated sigh. "Well excuse me for not wanting to spend an entire day wearing a bra. Some of us have a reputation to uphold."

"Sure you do, SeQuil," I teased glancing away from the screen, and he flashed me a look of annoyance.

"You were supposed to be guarding her, not using the day to gorge yourself and try to pick up church-chicks," Jake admonished, flopping down on the bean-bag inside the door.

"Tell that to Embry, he hung out with her all day Sunday watching Star Wars."

That was all it took for my character to get accosted by the enemy and get gunned down in a haze of bullets. I looked back to Jake guiltily, throwing the controller back onto the bed behind me.

"Star Wars? Why?" he said, as if it was the most ridiculous thing in the world.

"She'd never seen it," I shrugged, attempting to play down the entire thing. "We were talking about it and somehow ended up planning a marathon."

Jake leaned his head back on the seat with a snort. "I know that. The only movies Bella ever watches are ones with a conflicted female lead. Bet she hated it. Totally not her thing."

He was still managing to watch me curiously from his position, and my lips turned down in disagreement. "Actually, she seemed pretty into it. Passed the day for us at least."

"Huh," was all I got in reply, but he continued staring at me as Melanie and Quil resumed arguing over the bet. I felt relief at the fact I wasn't hiding it from him anymore, but something in me bristled at the way he tried to use his knowledge of her against me. It just wasn't something he had the right to do, now. Jake didn't know Bella, not anymore.

"Seth, stop worrying about it, okay? I'll be here, the whole time, so he can't get pissed."

"Oh," he snorted petulantly, "I'm not worried, it's just...why?"

Because I'm pathetically infatuated with her and I'm not going to pass up the chance to spend more time around her when she's somehow crazy enough to let me.

"Because we're friends, and we're just hanging out. Is there some kind of crime against it?"

He shot me a disbelieving look. "Alright then, but I'm not dealing with him. If he finds out, it's on you, alright?" He muttered something about 'Alpha's dirty-work' under his breath, but even I couldn't make it out over the grinding of his teeth.

"Yes, fine... just go, will you?"

Though most of us had become somehow different post-fursplosion, I think the most unsettling change was Seth. Well, not so much post-phase, but post-imprint. Jacob's imprint.

All traces of hero worship Seth had for him, every tag-along, every question and search for approval – stopped. Since the day Seth realised there was something the mighty Jacob Black wasn't strong enough to fight, he'd stopped being invincible in his eyes, and we all realised how absolute the whole phenomenon was – even someone so confident, adamant and hopelessly in love couldn't do much to stand in the way of fate.

Seth, well, he did little to hide his changed feelings, and although the disappointment hurt him,I think on some level, Jake understood. Seth had seen it rip his sister's life apart, and he'd hoped that somehow, he could still blame Sam for not being strong enough, but not anymore. Jake, of all people knew deep down that what happened wasn't okay, no matter how Melanie made him feel.

Still, Seth's loyalty to Bella hadn't waned, but his new-found attitude could be a pain in the ass. I never thought I'd have to spend so long trying to convince someone not to stand in the woods all day, bored out of their skull. Jared had been much easier.

It took Bella a little longer than usual to answer the door, but after a second knock, I heard her footsteps approaching and the door swung open to reveal her looking, well, exhausted.

"Hey," she said, her voice still thick with sleep, but she gave me a wide, genuine smile despite the fatigue in her eyes. It was after three p.m., and she looked like she'd barely been awake a half hour.

I smiled back before I could stop myself, a strange flip in my stomach registering that she was happy – this happy- to see me. I readjusted the strap of my backpack and studied her. "You sure you're still up for this today? We don't have to-"

"No!" she interrupted, eyes widening, and she grabbed my wrist, tugging on it insistently until I submitted. I tried to ignore the feeling of her hand on my skin, or the tiny jolts of energy shooting up my arm, right through my body, all because of an innocent touch. When had she become so comfortable with this? How could I be so comfortable with this? It was all working its way through me, sending signals and emotions to my brain that I had no business feeling. She wanted friendship, not a love-sick pup about to roll over and beg for a belly-scratch, just because she almost held his hand.

"No... I just got up from a nap, give me a second to wake up, and then I'm all yours." The smile was back, a little less-convincing this time, and all I could think was I wish.

"If you say so," I said, letting her lead the way into the kitchen, gallantly training my eyes away from the sight of her body-hugging yoga pants, where a large pot of coffee was just finished percolating.

"I do say so," she said, with a smug smile. "Seriously, Em, all I do is eat, sleep and work. It's pretty nice having something to look forward to on my days off that isn't doing the laundry or planning meals that won't land Charlie in the emergency room with chest pains."

"Well, I guess sitting around watching box-sets isn't all that tiring," I mused, scrutinising the dark circles under her eyes as I set my bag on the kitchen table. Even her scent was different, a hint of anxiety underlining the one I'd come to associate with her. The more time I spent around her, I realised I could tell all the subtle changes she gave off unknowingly.

She held up the pot, wordlessly offering me some, to which I nodded, and a steaming mug was set on the table. She cradled her own to her chest, fighting another yawn and raked her eyes over me.

She'd been doing that a lot lately, and it felt like my skin burst into flame. Every. Single. Time.

"No novelty shirt today?" she asked, gesturing to my clothes. "I would have thought you have something for every geeky occasion." My lips gathered on one side as I shook my head.

"They aren't as easy to come by as Star Wars stuff, but I do have this-" I fished my keys out of my pocket, holding them up by my official Mark V Sonic Screwdriver keychain. I pressed the button on the side, smiling proudly as it lit up and the sound effect echoed out.

"And that is...?"

I frowned. Wasn't it obvious? "It's a sonic screwdriver."

"A sonic screwdriver," she said disbelievingly.

"Exactly."

"What does it do?"

"It emits a sonic pulse, and you know, does... stuff."

"Like what, screwing?"

"Among other things."

"Right.."

"Who looks at a screwdriver and thinks 'Ooh, this could be a little more sonic!'" I said, although knowing she wouldn't get the reference – yet.

Bella raised her brows and held out her hands. "Right?!"

"All will be explained, my friend," I promised, pulling the box-set out of my bag and setting the Ninth Doctor's series on the table. Bella was holding off another yawn.

"So, do you always take naps in the middle of the day, Lazy-ass?" I said, trying to sound teasing, but I couldn't help but be a little concerned. Bella had a hell of a lot on her plate these days. I don't think I'd be able to sleep all that well either.

She shook her head, half-smiling as she brought the mug to her lips. "Been having some weird dreams." Taking a tentative sip, her brow furrowed, as if recalling just exactly how weird they were. "It kinda keeps me awake at night."

"What kind of dreams?" I asked, stirring sugar through the coffee. She shrugged, getting that far-off look in her eye. After a wordless moment, her gaze flitted back to mine, and she plastered on a weak smile.

"Just weird," she breezed and then nodded to the bag. "So this Doctor, is he like, a medical doctor or what?"

I smiled, shaking my head, but allowed the obvious subject change. "Neither – he's a Time Lord, the last of a race of super-intelligent, time-travelling aliens."

She raised a brow. "Of course, that would be the obvious answer, right?"

"I would think so."

It was probably a good thing I'd seen every episode countless times before, because all I could concentrate on was how Bella was curled up on the couch, pressed into my side and stirring her rapidly melting tub of Half Baked. Her head was resting on the back padding, close to leaning right on my shoulder and I willed myself, so very hard, not to watch as her little pink tongue darted out at regular intervals to lick the spoon clean. Every so often, she'd shift her weight around, asking questions, and laughing at something on screen. If today was meant to be a distraction, I wasn't sure who was more distracted.

"So the Daleks are supposed to be scary? They look like salt-shakers!"

"I guess they were back in the sixties, now, uh, I think they're a little old-school," I said, my eyes trained on Rose Tyler's exchange with the imprisoned creature. Bella straightened up, the movement sending a fresh wave of goosebumps billowing up my side, and studied me.

"You've gone all stiff," she said, and my eyes darted to hers in panic. "You sure you're not scared of them?" Relieved at the glint of humour in her gaze, I smiled.

"Yeah, bloodsucking, walking corpses I can handle, but don't leave me alone in the BBC prop department late at night..." I said in mock warning.

Part of me was pretty sure she was out to destroy me when she ruffled an ice-cold hand through my hair. I felt like an asshole for welcoming that touch so much.

"Poor Em, try not to have nightmares." I tried not to practically fucking purr at the feeling of her fingers on my scalp. But they were still there, and Bella's hand was frozen in place as she looked at me with a softness in her eyes I hadn't seen in a very long time, and never directed towards me. "Thanks for doing this."

I cleared my throat, not sure if my voice would actually work when I could feel her ice-cream scented breath on my face. "Doing what?"

She pulled her hand away and shrugged. "You know, this." She gestured to the screen, the couch, the entire living-room.

"Educating you?"

"Keeping me company. Entertaining me. Being a great friend."

I frowned – it had all gotten incredibly serious in a short space of time. "It's not exactly a chore, hanging out with you, I mean. I like doing it." I like you.

"I woke up today in kind of a bad place." She was facing the television again and I wanted so badly to ask her about these mysterious dreams, but I knew it would be pushing things. Today was supposed to be about taking her mind off it, even if she hadn't come right out and said anything.

"It's okay. I'm always around for no-strings fun." The words were out before I realised how it sounded, and I was sat cringing, and hoping against hope that she'd been too lost in her thoughts to fully realise the connotations. "I mean, uh, I'll hang out whenever you want."

She nodded absently and sank back into my side, toes tucked beside her and held out the spoon.

"Wanna taste?" she asked, jerking it in front of my face and looking at me, all melted-chocolate and innocence. Those eyes. She didn't even know what she was asking. Oblivious.

Fuck.

I looked to it and then to her, desperately wishing she did know what she was asking, and she really was offering.. It was the same answer either way. I threw on my best smile and nodded. "Sure."

She held the spoon up to my lips and I gave in, letting the treat heat up to body-temperature instantly. We didn't really eat ice-cream any more, since they turned to milkshake on impact.

"See? No strings." she teased, and my breath caught right in my throat.

The glimpse of Playful Bella was a rare one.

Each time over the next ten days when I showed up, she was a little more tired, and a little less easy to laugh, and I got a lot more worried. It even overshadowed the fact that bit by bit, she became more comfortable around me, sprawling lazily next to me or dozing when she hadn't taken a nap that day. I'm an asshole, for letting her think all I wanted was to be friends, but think those times were my favourite.

She was completely unaware of the way it became harder to breathe or how it took a full minute for me to answer a question sometimes, so lost in the feeling of having her so close but still an entire plain of consciousness away.

On Wednesday, we reached the end of the Ninth Doctor's series, and Bella held my hand. I almost let go of hers immediately to punch the air in delight. Did I say I'm an asshole already? Yeah.

My joy never lasted too long, though. She always seemed just a step away from breaking point, and I vowed that next time I saw her, I'd get to the bottom of it all.

No more "I'm just tired", "Work was hectic" or "I had a bad dream". Friday came, and I reached her house with that very intention, but every piece of resolve evaporated when that door opened, and I took in the sight of her tear-stained cheeks, the balled up kleenex in her hand, completing the forced, watery smile.

"Bella, this is ridiculous-" I sighed, noticing the look of guilt in her eyes as she turned on the TV. Whatever I had to say, it was only going to make things worse, and I clenched my jaw shut.

"Please, Em? Can we just-" there was a sigh, "I need some Embry time, okay?" she said in a small voice, sinking wearily into the couch. She shot me a weak, pleading smile, and every thought of protest in my mind was disarmed. She had me wrapped around that tiny finger with that one statement, and I didn't think she had a clue.

I shrugged defeatedly, letting the strap of my backpack slide down my arm so I could open it up. We were at the end of Rose Tyler's tenure as companion, and I hesitated before putting it on, looking at the state of Bella's appearance.

"This is kind of a sad episode, Bella, sure you don't want to watch something else?" She looked up from the cushion she was picking at and shook her head.

"No need to babysit me, Em... just put it on. Besides, it might be good to cry over someone else's bad luck for once." She patted my place on the sofa, a look of encouragement in her eyes, and I debated for a half-second before I dutifully followed her instructions, cursing my lack of backbone internally.

Taking my place beside her, every muscle in my body stiffened as she scooted up beside me, laying her head on my shoulder and curling her legs beneath, just like I'd noticed she always did.

"You sure about this? I mean, this episode got me choked up..." I studied her warily, and she scoffed, putting her hand on my cheek and pushing, until I was facing the TV again.

"No babysitting. Be quiet and watch."

She made it kind of impossible, though, because no sooner had the theme started and I felt her scooch back into her place, but soft, cool fingers ran through my hair trailing down and coming to settle on the wisps at the back of my neck. Her touch was so soft, it was like she was barely doing anything, but she may as well have hit me over the head with a crowbar; the impact was the same.

Still ,she had no idea, and she watched the episode with interest - but I wasn't sure if here eyes were all the time actually looking at the screen, or right through it.

And cry, she did. Before the episode ended, I stole a glance down at her, to see silent tears running rivulets down her face, her ministrations on the back of my neck nothing more than an outlet for nervous, shaking fingers; a security blanket for someone with the appearance of a lost, forlorn child. By the time the scene changed on-screen to the beach, Bella had saturated my shirt, and all I wanted to do was hold her as violent sobs wracked her body; but was it okay for friends to do that? Was it okay for me to do that?

Fuck it. I gave in, and I wrapped my arms around her, feeling just how small and fragile she was for the very first time. She buried her face in my neck, muffling the sound of her own cries as she clung to my shoulders, needing so much more comfort than I was qualified to give, but still gaining something from just being held... by me.

Suddenly, I didn't feel that much of an asshole anymore.

But what the hell was I supposed to do now? I knew this reaction wasn't just because of the story-line; even as Rose and The Doctor said their goodbyes, whole universes apart, and separated for life.

So I did the only thing I could think of – I held her, tight, and I didn't say a single word.

A/N: The next chapter will be Embry POV too.

If you're curious about the scene that spurred Bella's meltdown, you can watch it here:

www. youtube watch?v =JvkjthzlyV8

Also, I sneaked in a little reference to my Quembry one-shot, The Cardinal Rule of Bromantic Endeavours. It can be found on my author page, and it seems to be pretty funny... :)