Hey, I know , I'm late again. Yesterday was a mess for me.

Thank you for helping me reach 230! Next goal: 250. I know you can do it!

I hope you enjoy, even if this is on the shorter side.

The next morning, Severus awoke sprawled across the couch, feeling as if someone had thrown him down a flight of stairs in the middle of the night. His eyes immediately locked on the frame sitting on his table, mocking him. Last night came rushing back to him in a single wave. Severus sent her away, drank his night away, and finally admitted that he loved Hermione.

Love?

Severus felt his pulse quicken and something else begin to churn within him. There was an intense yearning to have her back, wrapped in his arms and safe. Severus knew that for the rest of his life, he wanted her by his side.

This wasn't supposed to happen! He was not supposed to fall in love with an eighteen year old girl! She was far too young for him! No, he wouldn't think about that. If she was happy with him, then age didn't matter in the least. If she would consent to spending her life with him, Severus was sure he would be the happiest man on the face of the Earth.

Guilt washed over him suddenly. She had gotten him the most special gift he could have ever asked for, yet what did he do? He threw her out there to fend for herself. She was going to hate him for the rest of her life, and if she did, what would he do? How could he go on knowing that she hated every fiber of his being?

Severus knew that he would dedicate himself to winning her back. The thought of her not being in his life was almost too much to bear.

His guilt only increased when Crookshanks suddenly jumped onto his chest. Severus scratched the ginger cat gently as the cat just stared.

"Don't look at me like that," Severus mumbled.

The cat settled down, leaving the two face to face. Severus sat for a while with Crookshanks who seemed there only to comfort Severus before he began begging for food. Severus fed him before making his way through the empty halls to Dumbledore's office. Thank heavens most of the students went home.

When Severus entered the room, he immediately approached the painting.

"Merry Christmas, Severus," Dumbledore offered with a smile.

Christmas? Today was Christmas?

"Merry Christmas," Severus replied in a gravelly voice.

"My dear boy, you don't seem very merry," Dumbledore said.

Severus simply stared at him, seeing a flash of realization dart across the paintings face.

"Ah, Hermione is gone then?"

Severus sunk into a chair, feeling himself cracking.

"Things will get better Severus,"

"No, they won't," he mumbled, staring at the desk.

"Things have their ups and downs,"

"You don't understand," Severus said shaking his head slowly.

"I'm sure that the two of you are more than happy with the arrangements now,"

"No, Albus! You don't understand!" Severus barked.

"What don't I understand?"

"I…I love her. I'm in love with her," Severus all but whispered.

"Of course you do, Severus," Albus replied with a smile.

Severus lowered his head to his arms which were folded on the desk.

"God, I love her so much," he mumbled.

"Did you tell her?"

"Of course not! I didn't figure it out until I dumped her in the middle of this damn war!"

"Don't let this eat away at you, Severus. You're going to kill yourself,"

"I can't stop thinking about it,"

"She cares for you also, always remember that,"

"Me?" Severus scoffed. "I'm old and bitter. What could she possibly see in me?"

"A great deal, apparently. She can talk about you for three hours without so much as a two second pause,"

"What does she say?"

"I think that's something she would like to say to you herself," Dumbledore answered quietly and with a smile.

Severus wandered aimlessly throughout the castle for the next few days, barely eating or sleeping. When the students returned from holiday, Severus took to the hallways at night, stalking through the corridors, always ending at the library where he sat at the table he found her at when she was researching Unbreakable Vows during the Quidditch match.

The school felt colder without her there, his chambers were lifeless and his bed unwelcoming. Every night he clung to her pillow, greedily inhaling the vanilla aroma that usually clung to her. The aroma did little to ease his pain. Severus needed her warmth beside him, not just a ghost.

Severus looked at his ring more in the few weeks after the separated than ever before. He knew he could see her again with just two twists of the piece of metal on his finger. He knew that she would come, no matter what, just like he went to her no matter what.

What was she doing now? Was she safe? Was she starving out there? Was she cold? Was she lost and confused? Did she think about him?

Questions constantly plagued his mind nearly every hour of the day. Most days Severus could tolerate the constant nagging in his mind, but the days that were more difficult, he usually drank himself to sleep each night.

Severus knew he was in a self-destructive spiral that would kill him, but he didn't know what else he could do with himself. Nothing he did seemed to keep his interest, not even locking himself in his own private lab. The stones were marred with the memories of her leaning over the cauldron, scribbling on her notes, and chewing her lip when in a deep thought.

Severus couldn't even use the Potions classroom to brew, seeing that every moment he walked in, he could point at the very seats she had throughout the years. Hermione was everywhere, never giving him a moment's reprieve, constantly antagonizing him with memories and the fact that he easily gave her up.

Severus distracted himself with punishing the Carrows in any way he could that would not get him in trouble with the Dark Lord. Causing them pain made him feel better about his own pain. They deserved it, every single thing that happened to them, they deserved. Before he turned a blind eye to Minerva's doings, but now, he didn't even tell the Carrows that he didn't know what was going on. He admitted that he knew, but was far too busy to worry about it and that they should stop acting like children and move on with their lives. Severus went as far as encouraging Minerva to retaliate against the Death Eaters more than she used to.

Severus remembered when he informed Minerva that Hermione was no longer with them.

"Well, were on Earth could she have gone?" she said, staring at Severus like he was crazy.

"She went with Potter and Weasley, Minerva, where do you think she went?" Severus hissed, trying to avoid the subject.

"Did you let her just walk out?"

"It was that or the Dark Lord was going to kill her,"

There was a moment of silence, and Severus was beginning to think that the woman had left the room.

"I'm sorry,"

"For what?" he snapped viciously, wishing she would just go already.

"I know how much you care for her; it must have been difficult for you,"

Severus never made a reply. If Minerva even knew how much he did care for Hermione.