Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended

A/N: Have you read my Leah/Paul outtake? It sheds a little light on what's been going on for the world's most awkward couple, and is probably better read before this chapter. Let me know what you thought of it. :)

Suggested Listening: Fade by The Narrative, Three Rounds and a Sound by Blind Pilot, And Then You by Greg Laswell, Creep by Ingrid Michaelson, Beautiful Freak by Eels, Starry-Eyed (Acoustic) by Ellie Goulding.

Chapter Twenty-Four: Starry-Eyed

So we burst into colors, colors and carousels,

Fall head first like paper planes in playground games

Next thing we're touching
You look at me it's like you hit me with lightning

Oh, everybody's starry-eyed
And everybody glows
Oh, everybody's starry-eyed
And my body goes
Whoa

It was like every knot in my stomach, each clenched muscle and frayed nerve was loosened. With Embry's lips moving over my own, the warm plumes of his breath mingling with mine and the slight stubble of his chin teasing my skin, I let go. I let him take control of it, of the moment, and with it, the worry and self-doubt that had plagued me in his absence filtered away. He was here – for me – and after everything I'd said, the risks I'd taken confessing my new feelings for him and finally spilling the secrets I thought I'd never share, he was still around, offering a strong shoulder to hold the weight I'd been struggling with for far too long.

My hands wound into his hair automatically, finding that they were drawn to its softness and the comfort I'd realised I drew from it. It was strange, but it was almost involuntary how my fingers raked over his scalp, and I knew it was something I'd been wanting, no, needing to do for a while now. I could have laughed out loud at the thought that I really loved his hair. It was among the many physical traits about him I'd begun to notice – and shit, if I was honest, become attracted to. He'd never quite worn it cut to his scalp, still retaining that tiny smidgeon of individuality when everything else had been torn away, and it was always instantly distinguishable when he was hanging out among his brothers. When I saw that dishevelled, outgrown cut from a distance, I knew he was there. It was how it had always been. Those butterflies doing barrel-rolls in my stomach, though? Those were brand new.

Tugging on a small handful, I felt the intake of Embry's breath ghost over my lips, and his grip on my waist tightened minutely. He liked it. I think those damn butterflies were on acid, or something, because each tremble of my abdominal muscles was sending signals straight up to my face, erupting in a smile only curtailed by the possession of Embry's lips.

It was only as his hand moved to my back, sweeping slowly over my shoulder blades that the echoes of the preceding conversation seeped back into my mind.

"It's not all you."

"I've felt this way about you for so long..."

The warmth of his touch was on my neck now, fingers twining with the hair at the back of my head as he cupped my skull, deepening the embrace with care and reverence.

"I remember when I first started falling for you..."

"These last few weeks...It's been the best time of my life..."

I realised that this wasn't a kiss shared between lovers, nor was it one between friends. It wasn't an experiment, to see how well we fit, and it wasn't something to pass the time, just because our hormones ruled more than we'd like to admit. Right around the time Embry pulled away to sweep a thumb over my temple, and smile into my eyes – and just before he brushed my lips a second time with his – I realised that this kiss, this flip-your-stomach, fog-your-brain kiss wasn't what I'd anticipated, at all. He was tasting me. He was committing me to memory, because he wasn't completely sure he'd get another chance. Embry was revelling in the moment because he'd wanted this almost as long as I'd known him, and this was what he'd dared to wait for, letting his hopes climb ever-higher while I obliviously, and carelessly, let him put cracks in the walls around me. Embry's heart was resting on this kiss, and I was letting it. I hated myself for craving this closeness too much to pull away, because no matter how many fissures he'd put in my shell, there was a terror flowing through me that said I couldn't let him fully inside.

The regret set in almost as quick as the exhilaration, only it was much stronger, and it almost tore me in half. If affection was the butterflies in my stomach, then guilt was a fucking hurricane.

There was still so much in the way, and I'd only begun to acknowledge how the feeling of his hand in mine, the quiet command of his voice or his heartbreaking smile truly affected me. I was kissing him, and letting him revel in a personal victory I couldn't be sure that he'd won.

I pulled away regretfully, my fingertips automatically moving to my lips to somehow make up for the absence of his, but it was a poor substitute. My eyes fell downward guiltily, and I rested my forehead on his shoulder, willing my racing heart and the protests from my body to die down.

I felt a warm exhale bloom over my head, his chest rising and falling with the exertion, before he pressed his lips into my scalp, mumbling into my hair.

"Too soon?" he said with an air of resignation. His hands were still enveloping my body, and I selfishly allowed the last vestige of contact between us, because although I was strong enough to pull away, I wasn't strong enough to let go.

I nodded into the corded muscles by his clavicle, my breath leaving a hot, damp shadow on his shirt and my eyes falling closed in self-beration. "I'm sorry... it's all still new for me," I explained, knowing the excuse was flimsy.

"Hey, it's new for me too, despite what I said," he replied softly, and I lifted my head to look at him. He still hadn't stopped smiling. "I've wanted to be with you for a long time... but this..." His eyes flitted between my own, searching my gaze for the same sureness that were in his. "I never thought you'd-" He stopped, shaking his head as his hand moved to smooth my hair back from my face. I don't think I could have even stopped myself from leaning into his palm if I'd tried.

He looked down, eyes closing. "I feel like I'm dreaming."

The words were so heartfelt, so full of innocent, blind hope that I could barely stand it. I turned my head away again, resting my cheek back on his shoulder and aiming my face to the front of the truck. "And that's why it's too soon," I said, my voice barely holding any weight.

"Because you don't feel the same?" he said. There was that resignation again. I didn't want to hear him speak that way, but I couldn't find it in me to disagree, not when I wasn't sure I should. I didn't know how I felt. Knowing how much I needed him, and realising what he meant to me was one thing, but finding out that he'd felt the same, yet more, had thrown me for a loop. I'd fully expected a sympathetic smile and smug apology from him for being so damn amazing.

"I don't know."

There was a movement from him that I assumed was a nod, and he let out a short sigh. "Okay. So you don't know yet, and that's fine... I'm not expecting a promise ring here, Bella. Just an assurance that you won't shut me out again. I just need to know that you're still thinking about it, not closing the door on what we could have because of what – who- I am."

And there it was. The one thing I was too afraid to admit out loud since he'd made the revelation of his own; the fact that I'd been here before, with someone who had hurt me so intensely, I still wasn't completely over it. More than anything, I wanted to explore this, and I wanted to give myself the freedom to take the risk, but the still-reddened scars on my heart were the constant reminder that I'd only just put myself back together, and I didn't know if I'd be able to do it again. I lifted my head once more to look at him, still amazed by how easy he was making this, when it felt like the hardest thing not to just forget about it all and surrender to his kisses.

"So we'll focus on the things we can work with," he said with resolve, watching my expression. "Tell me about Paul, and about Leah. Wait, wasn't he supposed to be guarding you today?"

I nodded, feeling guilty for encouraging the very relationship I wasn't sure had a future. "I wanted to be alone, so I sent him to go see Leah."

Embry watched me, not commenting on the fact that I wasn't alone right now, and maybe I'd just been selective about which wolf I really wanted to spend my time with. "Okay... just checking."

He moved to sit cross-legged on the bed of the truck, setting his elbows on his knees and clasping his hands. I took a deep breath and followed suit, tucking a lock of hair behind my ear, wondering where to begin. Steeling my jaw, I thought obliquely how everything I'd told him today had been one disaster after another, yet now he was asking for more, in the vain hope that he could offer the slightest help. How did I deserve this?

"So Paul and Leah, they're..." I hesitated, not sure if I was betraying a huge confidence for both of them.

"Together," he finished.

"You know?"

A nod. "Yeah. Leah came to see me when you started shutting her out, I guess trying to figure out why. She told me about them." He said it like it was a dirty word, like he still couldn't wrap his head around the fact that they were seeing each other, never mind that she'd told him.

"You think it's a bad idea?" I surmised. I could imagine why – Leah was the poster girl for fate's sense of humour.

He shrugged, running his thumbs over one another as he thought. "I can't see it ending well – but not for the reasons you're thinking." He didn't say it out loud, but it felt like the word 'Imprint' was being written in the air around us, everywhere I looked.

"They're both pretty messed up individuals, and when you can see inside someone else's brain, all the things they think about you but are too polite to say, it kinda fucks with your trust. Imagine knowing that all the flaws you tried to hide were not only still on display, but the one person who should see past them, notices them too?"

I watched his hands, thinking over his words – it sounded like hell, no matter how confident you were.

"Not only that, but it's kind of common courtesy that couples don't talk about how hot someone else is – can you really see Paul going celibate, not checking out every girl he sees? And Leah's going to have to see that, in hi-def, all the time."

"She seems to think it's a casual thing," I defended, wishing that for once, something would work out for someone I knew when it wasn't pre-destined. "Maybe she won't care that much."

Embry cocked a sceptical brow. "And you believe that?"

I pressed my lips together, wishing I could say yes, but truthfully, I couldn't. It didn't matter; Embry seemed to read my face like a map, as always, and he knew it was just fleeting hope on the behalf of a friend. Even in the brief visits I'd had from her, Leah seemed lighter, less quick to snap, and talked with an air of hope for the first time since I'd known her.

"Bella, we all kinda run with the dial turned up to eleven. Emotions, thought-processes, instincts – everything's gone from greyscale to technicolour, and they're mutliplying that by two. Even our friendships are more like brotherly bonds." He licked his lips, his eyes narrowing at the stupidity of it all. "And they want to try being fuckbuddies?" He shook his head. "It's not gonna work."

"You mean they're inevitably going to give in and try to become a proper couple?" I said, wishing I could be hopeful, but with what I knew, all I felt was dread.

He nodded. "I mean they're going to fall hopelessly in love with each other, and it'll either be the best thing that ever happened to either of them, or they'll both be destroyed in the process."

Pressing the heels of my hands into my eyes, I gave out a grunt of frustration. "If I'd know how many lives I'd change by going back, I might have thought a little harder before doing it," I said regretfully.

I felt a warm squeeze to my shoulder. "You did it for the right reasons, no-one can blame you for that."

I looked at him gratefully, leaning an elbow on my knee and propping up my head. "I can't get my head wrapped around the fact that you believe me," I said.

He shrugged. "You believed in me. If someone had told me a year ago that werewolves actually existed I'd have laughed in their face. I'm not arrogant enough to assume I know everything." I smiled – viewing things from his point of view always made it seem so simple. "Not everyone will believe you, though," he said warningly, chewing his lip as he thought about it. "So it might not be a great idea to go spilling this unless you have to."

I nodded. "Believe me, telling you was hard enough. And I don't even know if I can prove it."

"You think you might have lost your juice?" he asked.

"No idea, but I've learned to control my regret to a degree where there's no more accidents. I just don't want to go poking around and mess up something else," I replied.

"Probably a smart idea," he agreed. "A heartbroken Leah and Paul might be more than anyone can handle. That's probably going to be the most likely outcome, after all."

I trained my eyes on my lap, knowing how right he was, and that I was sitting on vital insight that proved it.

"I know which it's going to be," I said hoarsely, my chest constricting with hurt for Leah and Paul and the unfairness of the world they lived in. Embry nodded solemnly in agreement, misunderstanding how sure I was.

"No, Em, I know."

He studied me for a moment, before finally realising what I was getting at. "You saw something? Are you sure?"

"It was pretty unmistakeable," I said woefully, willing the image of Paul following who I instinctively knew to be Rachel Black around like a faithful pup out of my mind's eye.

"Which one?" he said, his voice quieter than it had been all evening.

"Paul."

Embry released a breath through his teeth, wincing in sympathy for Leah, who, once again, was about to fall victim to a curse masquerading as a blessing. "Fuck."

My mouth quirked, a slow nod teetering as I looked into his eyes again. "That was pretty much my reaction too."

He stared off thoughtfully into the trees, seeing much more than I could in the darkness of the forest for a long moment. "So you have to tell her."

"I don't know yet."

His eyes shot to mine and he frowned. "How can you not know? You should have told her as soon as you saw it.." his tone was outraged, and I knew the protective instinct he had for one of his Pack, for Leah was responsible for the look of disappointment in his eye. I hated that he was looking at me this way, but I understood - he didn't have all the facts.

"It's not that simple... it's a possibility, sure, but not everything from before is the same as it is here."

His muscles unclenched as he looked at me, mouth agape with the last of his frustration. "Like what?"

"Like Quil..." I looked off to the side, pondering the two pathways our friend had gone down. Quil was a pain in the ass, but no part of me had any doubt that he was better with his free will – even if he did use it to service his own needs and be a pest most of the time.

Embry was rueful, the dimples I'd noticed-but-never-acknowledged making a grand entrance while he spoke. "Don't tell me, he's some kind of rocket scientist in the other universe? Adopts sick animals and feeds the homeless? He's invited to the next UN Peace Conference and only sleeps with chicks from MENSA?"

I couldn't help but smile at his attempt to lighten the mood, shaking my head. "Not exactly." I focused on him again, "Remember the bake sale? What we all talked about that day, outside?"

"I remember some weird theories..." he recalled, eyes narrowing like all those ridiculous-looking models did in an attempt to look intense and sexy. Embry didn't have to try very hard. "About imprinting?"

Nodding, I encouraged, "A particularly messed up kind of imprinting."

His gaze widened. "On- Quil? He imprinted on a kid?" His teeth were bared in a half-disgusted grimace, still visible despite the darkness against the contrast of his skin.

I gave him a pained smile. "It was kind of sweet, in a completely fucked-up kind of way."

"Wait, he told me you... was it Seth's cousin? Emily's niece?" His voice rose in shock, and the muscles in his brow puckered in an disbelieving smile. I nodded slowly, pressing my lips together to keep my own expression even.

The resulting laugh that came from Embry caused several birds to flee the surrounding trees, as he covered his eyes with one hand, gasping for breath. "Oh man, that is-" he gulped down another laugh, "Poor Quil, only something that fucked up would happen to him!"

"Em, stop laughing!" I scolded, fighting my own grin. It wasn't right, but damn if that smile wasn't infectious. With a frown of recollection, I was almost at the point of shuddering. "It was really weird."

"I'll bet," he chuckled. "I can just imagine, he's hunched around a teeny pink table playing dolly-tea-party with a flower in his hair." A loud, throaty laugh boomed out again, and Embry had to wipe a stray tear from his eye. "More crumpets, Miss Penelope?" he squeaked in an accent that was telling of how much time he'd spent watching British TV. His eyes were animated and bright, an open invitation to join in on the joke.

Once again, he collapsed in a fit of amused guffaws. I batted his arm in reprimand, but my own shoulders were jerking despite myself. "You are a terrible person," I said, voice breaking with mirth. "He wasn't himself anymore, it wasn't funny."

This seemed to sober him up slightly, as his breath came back and he settled back into position in front of me. "I know, it probably sucked, but hey, it didn't happen here, so it's okay to make fun of it." The resulting grin was mischievous, and I I wondered if he'd wake up tomorrow with an ache in his cheeks.

"You made fun of it there too," I lectured, recalling the handful of times I'd actually spent around Quil and the Pack after his imprint. There was a constant barrage of Barbie jokes, allusions to kindergarten, and the general consensus that Claire and Quil were on the same maturity level. It was relentless.

Embry shrugged. "You gotta make the best of a bad situation." He took my hand meaningfully, smile softening as he studied he mine nestled in his large palm; smooth against rough, fragile upon robust.

A long, wordless moment passed between us, where my mind drifted back to what we weren't discussing, and my eyes raked over the boy-who-wasn't-a-boy, sitting patiently amidst my lunacy and just hoping I'd feel what he did. It made my heart throb.

He cleared his throat, blinking away the look of contentment that had settled over his features. "So that's why you haven't told Leah?"

I nodded, allowing him to pull me back into the conversation. "I couldn't bring myself to end things with her and Paul when I can't even be sure that I even should."

He worried his lip for a beat, staring off at nothing as he realised my predicament. "I see what you mean." His far-off look focused on me again. "What's happening between them is fragile enough as it is, and if you rock the boat now, even if it's for nothing, they might never recover."

I watched his mouth as he talked, wondering how I could have gone so long without telling him, and having my own indecisions validated. A lightness in my chest was settling, and though there was still so much more ground to cover, it was like a spotlight had been shone on him, highlighting everything wonderful and comforting about having him in my life, all at once. On top of that, I was finding that the absence of expectation on his part was having the opposite effect, and all I wanted to do was taste his lips again.

As if reading my thoughts, he leaned in and laid a soft, mischievous kiss on my mouth. He had the sense to look slightly guilty before pressing his lips tight together and shaking his head sheepishly. I sent him a pained look, wondering how he expected me to stay on subject when he was doing that.

"Yeah, I know, I'm veering off-topic... just, don't expect me to stop kissing you, now that I know what it's like."

Casting my eyes down, I smiled, not finding it in me to want to protest. How could I have gone from being afraid and confused by my budding feelings for him to needing the closeness and bodily contact he was now showing me? As if I'd been struck by an electrical charge, each nerve in my body was alerted to the possibility of feeling his skin on mine again. Maybe I wasn't sure how I could feel about him, but we certainly weren't just friends anymore.

"I don't expect it at all," I said softly, watching the slow smile dawning over his face. He cleared his throat.

"Well, good."

"Great."

"Fine."

"Awesome."

He channelled a shared joke from our shared bonding experience, something only I'd get. "Fantastic."

I grinned, huffing out a soft laugh of acknowledgement as he smiled proudly, raising his brows to speak again.

"Brill-"

I silenced him this time, grabbing his head with both hands and planting an urgent kiss on his gaping mouth. His comically ruffled hair and dazed expression elicited a giggle as I released his cheeks, and my bravado filtered away as I tore my gaze off him.

"I think I like it more when you do it," he smirked, watching the flush of crimson bloom over my cheeks.

"I needed to get you back to the point," I explained innocently, my mouth curving in feigned nonchalance.

"Oh, well, I apologise," he muttered sarcastically. "Excuse me for doing an internal happy-dance."

"I like it when you dance,"I smiled, recalling opening my door to find him showcasing his 'moves' on the front porch.

His brow crinkled in confusion, before smoothing out as recognition set in. "Oh, that," he said disdainfully, "You weren't exactly supposed to see that, plus it was extenuating circumstances."

"Oh really?" I asked amusedly.

He nodded, "That was my 'Bella-invited-me-over' dance. Totally a once-off."

"That's too bad," I teased, feeling light-headed and flattered and like none of this was truly happening. "I nicknamed it the Embry Shuffle. Sucks to know I'll never see it again."

He dipped his head at that, looking back up at me with amusement. "Maybe you could get me drunk or something. After a few shots I start getting easily-persuaded and slutty."

I laughed, lifting my chin and letting the freeness fill me up and burst out my throat. How did I stay cut off for so long? How had I willingly missed out on this? "I'll have to remember that. What would it take, now, a half-gallon of absinthe or something?"

He leaned back on the side of the truck, propping his elbows and smiled at me. Really smiled. "You'd be surprised what our experiments have revealed."

Squinting, I took in the enigmatic look in his eye. "'Our', meaning you and Quil?" His grin widened, the response a confirmation of my suspicions, and I held up a halting hand. "I don't want to know."

"Probably for the best," he shrugged, pulling a hand up to ruffle through the back of his hair. If not for the filtering of moonlight through the trees, I wouldn't have seen how his gaze lingered on me, or how the impish grin grew soft and easy, allowing the kindness ever-present in his eyes to shine through.

We were stalling, though, allowing the new honesty between us distract from everything else screaming for attention. I needed to figure out how I felt. I needed to figure out what to do, I needed to find a way to stop Victoria before she rained down hell on us all and I needed to step outside the bubble Embry was creating for me. As if reading my thoughts, he sighed, chewing on his tongue for a beat.

"So what are we gonna do about Leah?" he asked quietly, not wanting to confront things any more than I did.

I shrugged, shaking my head as I picked at the stitching in my jeans. Embry watched me for a second, before hanging his head back over the side of the truck bed, arms outstretched.

"And can you be sure he'll even meet this girl?"

"Positive," I replied, nodding to my lap.

"How positive?"

"It's Rachel Black."

His head shot up so fast I was pretty sure he gave himself vertigo. "Jake's sister?!"

I held out my hands,, wishing there was some way I could say 'No', but helpless against the truth. "It's what I saw."

Embry leaned forward, letting his head drop into his hands and started muttering. "This is bad, so very fucking bad."

"So now you see the problem," I said apologetically.

"No, Bella, it's not just that..." He lifet his head again, looking towards the sky for some sort of guidance. "I mean yeah, it's fucking terrible, and Jake will grind Paul into paste if he goes near Rachel..."

"Well what else is going on?" I asked, almost afraid to hear the next blow.

"Well, let's just say you were right about being sure they'd meet," he said, brow puckering sorrowfully. He ran one hand over the opposite cheek, the noise of his day-old stubble barely-discernable above his sigh. He looked me in the eye and shook his head in disbelief at how messed up it all was.

"Rachel's coming to visit in two weeks."

A/N: Phew, I can't remember the last time a chapter was just one scene! I hope it wasn't boring, but these guys had a lot to talk about.

This chapter was for Meliz875, who was busy getting married as I wrote the second half of this. Congrats sweetie! Hope the Bella/Embry fluff is a nice post-wedding present :)

So what do you think's going to happen when Rachel comes?