Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended.

A/N:Suggested listening: Constant Knot by City and Colour, Living in Colour by Frightened Rabbit, Please, Please, Please, Let Me Get What I Want by The Smiths, Blue Carolina by The Smoking Popes (Alk3 Cover), Do What You Do by Chuck Ragan, Arms by Christina Perri, Awake My Soul by Mumford and Sons, Kiss Me by Ed Sheeran

Chapter Twenty-Seven: So Hold Me Close, To Keep Me Close.

Hair plastered to my cheeks, I forced the door shut against the howling of the storm. It was darker tonight, darker than it had been in months and my stomach felt like the sudden decent of a rollercoaster. Sick, nervous, anticipating what came next.

I hadn't heard a word from anyone, and somehow, my home felt bigger and emptier than it had ever been. Was it over? Was it done? Had everything been decided and was I forgotten in the chaos of what followed? I didn't want it to be true, and a part of me needed to stay in the state of unknown. If the worst had happened, then I'd have to face the truth that despite everything I knew, I couldn't protect everyone from their fate. Not even myself.

I pulled the cardigan tighter around my body, searching the outside for a sign, any indicator that everywhere wasn't as deserted as it seemed, but the light from the kitchen was lost in the wall of rain that cascaded outside. It shielded everything from view, and I was trapped in a bubble of not knowing. The kettle clicked off to my left, bringing me out of the unavoidable feeling of agitation, and I blew out a breath before filling a cup. I wasn't even sure I could stomach drinking anything, but somehow the ritual of making tea and giving my hands something to do was therapeutic. Staring at the steam billowing from the rim, it was several moments before I actually thought to wrap my fingers around it and cradle it to my chest, the heat giving a strange feeling of comfort that I knew was reminiscent of something I was craving more than anything else.

He was always present, yet not, and each time he avoided my gaze and distracted my mind with warmth and touches and unconvincing reassurance, I felt more distant than I had been when I'd forced him out of my life. Embry was pushing me away by pulling me closer, and after the fevered revelations of last night, I didn't have the strength to do anything but cling to what he offered me. What if this was my last chance?

The cup was cooling beneath my palms, and I finally chanced a sip. It was tasteless, and swallowing felt nearly impossible, but the routine of doing something familiar was what I had to do. I had to find a way to get the constant clockwork of thoughts and fears and doubts to dull into a quiet hum that would finally let me sleep, and hopefully, when I woke up, everything wouldn't seem quite so dark and hopeless.

I ventured to my room, pausing in the middle of the floor and not quite recalling how I got there. Autopilot had taken over, and ultimately it felt like nothing here was an adequate distraction. How could it be?

Past the bookshelf, searching the spines for something familiar and to which I could lose myself for a while left me with nothing. My ipod didn't offer me anything but a playlist of songs tied to memories of the very people I needed to forget, but still I pressed 'play'. Anything to fill the void of silence and screaming thoughts in my mind. I was a ball of nervous energy fastened with melancholic acceptance and nothing short of screaming at the top of my lungs or finding out the truth was going to satiate it.

I found myself at my dresser, looking over the barely-touched beauty products I'd bought in a quest to reinvent myself. Who had I been kidding? I had reinvented myself, but it had nothing to do with my outward appearance. As soon as I reached that cliff-edge, looking below to the swirling depths of letting Embry into my life, of letting Leah become my friend and holding a stake in Paul's happiness, I was changed irreversibly. But it hadn't felt that way - at the time, that cliff over the abyss was more like steps into a warm tub of comfort. That was something I was severely lacking right now.

A tiny bottle of nail colour caught my eye; a bright, bold pink that was so not me, and shook it. It was a task - something to busy my hands, and at least for a while, I had something to look at other than the clock, wondering how long it would be before I heard the news.

Settling on my bed, I pulled off the woollen socks I'd put on following a half-hearted shower and positioned cotton balls between my toes. Ritual. Routine.

I'd finished a whole five toes before the lights flickered, causing my heart to leap as the crack of thunder caused the windows to shake and the wind to sound more like the guttural cry of a livid creature, full of the same rage and anger that I feared Leah would succumb to following what had almost undoubtedly happened today. I couldn't be there for it, to see her life get ripped apart just as she'd begun stitching it back together. I was a failure as a friend.

Concentrate, Bella.

Big toe. Second toe. Third. Flicker. BOOM.

I pulled in a steadying breath, wiping the smudge of pink over my second-to-last toe before I attempted the final one. Almost done.

Lights out.

I fumbled for the bottle on my night-stand, haphazardly screwing it together before limping out of bed to the window. It ipod still played on the dock, running on batteries, making the soft voices take on an air of menace in their detachment. Great. Of all nights to be alone, I pick the one where the power is knocked out on the whole street. I didn't even know if there was a wolf around standing guard – pretty sure there was bigger stuff going on down on the Rez.

What if she picked tonight? What if the distraction of the Pack was her opening, and she used the cover of the storm to finally come for me?

As if on cue, a crash sounded downstairs, chilling the blood in my veins and freezing my feet to the spot.

No. This couldn't be happening.

Every scenario where I lost my life to her played out before my eyes, in detail much too vivid and realistic to be willed away. Only the shrill ring of the phone echoing up the stairs pulled me back into the moment. Wasn't this how every horror movie began? I was going to die a cliché and Leah would never know how sorry I was for not saving her from her own fate.

Every shadow took on the shape of a crouched creature, my own unavoidable fate waiting to pounce and end my life before I could even draw breath to scream. The phone rang out. A creak on the stairs. A growing shadow on the wall. Ghostly voices from the stereo. I closed my eyes, picked up something heavy, and braced myself for what was to come.

Embry POV

I didn't know if it was my heart or hers that was pounding in my ears. She was terrified, I knew she was, and it just propelled my feet up the stairs, desperate to reach her. She'd been unguarded for all of ten minutes and already her life was being threatened? I felt like I'd been punched in the stomach, no air making its way past my lips as flashes of what lay beyond that door tormented my vision. I couldn't smell anything truly ominous; there was no trace of leech around, just the odd scent of something pungent and chemical, like varnish - but there was no denying that something had Bella badly rattled.

I pressed my back to the wall, searching out the darkness for movement as I climbed further up the hallway. The rain had pretty much sizzled off my skin by now - any threat to Bella's well-being seemed to raise my temperature these days, and it wasn't just threats either. Just seconds in her presence and all thoughts became chaotic and confused, depraved or desperate and I seemed to excel in either saying the wrong thing or nothing at all.

And I really fucking hated it when she cried.

The damn telephone had just stopped ringing, and now an eerie pseudo-silence punctuated only by the howling wind, the soft sounds of acoustic music and the creak of trees surrounded me. Above it all, was Bella's shallow breaths, the racing of her pulse, and the distinct scent of fear in the air.

Edging towards the door, I felt the eruption of goosebumps across my skin, first signs of the imminent phase. I couldn't jump the gun like last time, and I wasn't messing this up and endangering her more. Maybe it wasn't even a leech – there were plenty of other sick bastards out there who could take advantage of a beautiful young girl alone in her house, no matter who her father is.

I had to hold back. I needed the element of surprise.

Curling my fingers around the wood between the hinges, I gave it a soft nudge, waiting for it to swing open and reveal whatever character of nightmare within that made Bella's heart sound so troubled. Whoever it was, they picked the wrong night and the wrong girl to target.

I didn't get a chance to think, because as soon as the door cleared the frame... THWACK.

"Oww! Son of a- What the fuck was that?" I grasped at the bridge of my nose where the object had hit me before it crumpled to the floor; a hardback novel that looked to be at least 700 pages thick. Appropriate Bella weaponry, I guess. I kicked it with vengeance, sending it skittering along the carpet and out of her deadly reach.

"Embry?" she asked, sounding relieved and breathless.

"No, it's Dracula," I retorted sarcastically, feeling the first trails of blood making their way towards my top lip. "I think you broke my nose... holy shit, B!"

She snapped out of her shock to lunge forward at me, practically hopping up to wrap her arms around my neck. The room was empty apart from the girl pressed against me, and I was powerless to resist her; broken nasal bridge included. When Bella Swan wants to hold you, you just don't say no.

"I thought you were Victoria- I couldn't move, I was so freaked," she babbled, pulling in gulps of air as she spoke. Her nose was buried in my skin, and the feeling of her breath across my exposed chest was efficiently pulling any and all attention away from the throbbing in my face. This girl had a mean throwing-arm, but man... she felt so good.

"So you, what? Decided to attack with..." I squinted at the book in the darkness over my hand, the pain making focusing my vision a challenge despite the advantages I'd inherited. "David Coppefield? Wow, I didn't know vamps had a weakness for nineteenth century literature."

She leaned back in my arms, looking up at me but seeing nothing. "Why are you talking to my ceiling?"

"Because I'm trying not to bleed all over you," I replied, still holding my nose.

"Oh, crap! I didn't realise you were bleeding! Hang on a second," she said, taking my hand and tugging me to sit down on her bed. I was getting deja-vu here, especially when I heard her rustle around for a box of tissues. Without warning, a little flame sparked by her beside table as she lit up a small, purple candle. Suddenly, we could see again.

"Is it bad?" she asked, full of concern. Her eyes were brimmed with regret, wide and loving, and I was momentarily distracted by them. If it would only just happen for us.

"It's almost healed.. but the blood tends to stick around," I said, finally letting my hand drop away. She was standing between my knees, wetting tissues with a bottle of water she'd produced from god-knows-where. Softly smoothing a few loose locks of hair back from my forehead, she got to work, as I watched the concentration on her face. With light dabs at the skin, her touch was soothing, gentle and not enough all at once.

"You're kind of making a habit of this, huh?" she said, breaking my reverie. Good thing - I was probably about to start purring or some shit. "Maybe I should get a First Aid box just for you."

"I thought I was being more careful this time, you know, by not bursting in?" I excused.

"Another Spiderman technique?" she teased, retrieving another tissue, and my forehead creased.

"So you were calling me Spiderman."

A shrug. "You did crash through a first-floor window, hell-bent on saving me. You can see the parallels - quiet, sensitive, put-upon nerd-boy gets super powers..."

"Falls for a girl way out of his league.." I finished, and her hand stilled. Alright, so we weren't quite there yet. Clearing my throat, I realised I needed to remember where I stashed my patience, because it was MIA these days. There was a few more moments of silence, but thankfully, she didn't seem to look overly upset by the comment.

"Is it setting straight? Maybe I can rock the whole retired-boxer look," I quipped, attempting a smile before wincing at the unwelcome throb it brought about.

She smiled indulgently and gently traced a her pinky over my nose. "No, I think you're good," she responded, before meeting my eyes, "which I'm glad about, I happen to like your nose."

"I think you like my 'everything'," I teased, enjoying the speechless look that spanned over her face. Yeah, so I was flirting... didn't guys get to flirt with the girl they're, uh, whatever we were doing. Was 'kissing' a relationship status? Huh... maybe I was doing it wrong.

She pressed her mouth closed, narrowing her eyes as the surprise wore off. "How hard did I hit you?"

"So you don't like my 'everything'?" I mock-clarified, wondering why the hell I didn't just shut the hell up when her voice turned to an embarrassed squeak.

"I haven't seen your... Embry, what are you doing here? And why are you acting like you're high or something?"

I rose to my feet suddenly, startling her back a few paces with my movements. "I came to tell you..." I said, starting to pace. Not knowing how exactly she'd take this had me on edge, but I couldn't have slept the night through without coming here. Maybe she was right - the nerves were making me a little crazy.

Please, just let this work out for me. I'll never ask for anything again; not even to find out who my... I'll never ask for anything, okay?

Her brows rose at my voice, wide eyes following my movements and slowly comprehending what I was talking about. I could feel her puzzlement as she gauged my reaction. "Okay..." she said, a tiny flame of hope barely daring to ignite in her tone. "It's good?"

"It's great," I replied attempting a smile, and there were no more words before she threw her arms around me again.

"Oh my gosh..." she began, as her cellphone cut into the moment with a blast of music. She turned in a small circle, trying to locate the origin of the noise. "Hold that thought!" Diving over the bed, she answered it and held it to her ear.

"Hey, Dad."

"Bells! Thank God. Why didn't you answer when I called the house? You're not caught out in this storm, are you?"

"No.. the power went out just before the phone rang. I'm already clumsy in daylight..."

A soft huff of laughter. "No kidding. Alright well I was just calling to let you know I'm helping out the fire department. They're over-run with calls in this weather and need help re-routing traffic, checking on people, that kind of thing. You're still in the house?"

"Yeah."

"Alright well, check the locks and stay away from the windows. You know where the candles are. Just don't make it obvious that you're alone, alright?"

She gave me a mischievous smile before answering. "Yeah, Dad, I know the drill. Be safe, alright?"

"Sure thing, Sweetie. Always am. I'll see you in the morning."

"Bye, Dad."

Throwing the phone over her shoulder, she bounded around the bed to the door.

"Where are you going now?"

She raised a brow. "To get some candles. I want to light this place up a little more before you tell me everything,"she grinned. I shook my head, pulling her back by the arm.

"Oh no you're not. You're right, you'll probably end up breaking a leg in the process. Leave it to those who can see in the dark," I said, pointing two fingers of my left hand at my eyes. She shot me a disbelieving look of defiance before shrugging.

"Alright then Spidey, they're in the hall closet, third door on your left. They're in a wooden box at the bottom, should be a torch and some matches in there too," she directed knowingly, and I followed her instructions through the dark.

"You guys have a 'Blackout Kit?'" I asked on my way back into her room with the supplies.

"Police Chief's house, remember?" she said, taking the candles out of my hand and proceeding to set a few around the room, lighting them. I watched her in the flame-light, eyes glowing with a lightness I hadn't realised I'd missed so much.

"So spill," she said, setting the last two candles either side of the bed. "Did it... happen? Did he fight it?"

I shook my head. "No.. nothing happened."

Her brow creased as she turned to me. "He didn't feel anything?"

"I was there, Bella. Any time one of us has.. imprinted, it's like a ripple throughout the Pack, each of us feeling a shift as the wolf's place in the world alters. Sometimes it's stronger than others, but I'm telling you, there was nothing."

It was true. My heart had been in my throat the entire day, and Paul had lashed out at every one of us at morning training - except for Leah. Hoping to find out what was going on with him, Jake ordered him back to the Black's house - but Rachel showed up earlier than expected, hoping to surprise Billy with dinner, and every joint in Paul's body locked up. He'd trained his eyes on the ground as she spoke, not daring to answer her or even greet her. Jacob mistook it for disrespect and called him out on it...and Paul looked at Rachel.

He stared for endless seconds, and I waited for the tell-tale vibration of energy which sealed his fate - but it never came. I thought his face would split in half, he was smiling so much, and he hugged her like she was his long-lost sister. Needless to say, Jacob thought he was being creepy as hell, and put him on perimeter runs for the entire afternoon, away from Rachel's Welcome Home cook-out, while I tried to come up with excuses to see Bella in person.

"Hmm," was all she said, and I felt the disappointment radiating off of her, knowing the cause. She hadn't wanted to see Leah hurt, sure, but she needed to see Paul fight it. She needed him to fight it so there was a chance that I could, and we'd finally get the security we needed.

Bella wasn't looking at me. I knew why it bothered her so much when I did it, now. I felt cold, like she wasn't letting me in. I didn't like it out here.

"It's a good, thing, right? I mean, if he didn't imprint, and Quil didn't, maybe they've all stopped. Maybe none of us need to anymore."

She looked to me in question, cocking her head to the side in a very Leah-like gesture. "What do you mean?"

I buried a hand in the hair at the back of my head. I hated talking about this, but maybe the theory would give her the comfort I sensed she needed.

"When you... changed things, and Jake-" I stopped, knowing that bringing it up could easily dampen what should have been a celebration, even if Bella didn't exactly seem to be doing a happy-dance. "When Jake met Melanie. After that, he was different. He was ready to step up as Alpha, put us in our place, and we all felt the ramifications of that."

She stood by the bed, dipping her finger absent-mindedly in the wax of the last candle and peeling it off. I let the idea settle in for a beat before the silence started grating on me. "It was a ripple effect. Do you get what I mean?"

She looked at the floor by my feet and nodded. "I think so. You're saying that Jake meeting her made him better - it made you all better," she replied, her voice low. My heart stung - it can't be easy knowing that your own heartbreak was for the good of everyone else, no matter how you rationalised it. Why was Bella's happiness less important than ours?

"Look, I'm not saying it was great, but-" I sighed, "Bella, I meant it when I told you that I think this is how things were meant to be."

Her eyes met mine again, and a ghost of a smile played with her features. "I hope you're right."

"Me too," I said. "Okay, it's just my theory, and it's not perfect I mean... if it's really the right path for everyone, then I would have imprinted on you the second I saw you, but I'm pretty sure I know why that is-"

"What?" she interjected, stepping closer to me. "What do you mean, 'you know why that is'?" The fear in her eyes made me wish I'd kept my stupid mouth shut, and I tried to back-pedal, but nothing was coming.

"Well... it's obvious, isn't it? You deserve better. You deserve to be out of this life for good. It's just your complete bad luck and my stupidity that dragged you back in."

Now, she was pissed. Her gaze flared with outrage and if she'd been Pack, there would have been a chocolate-eyed wolf standing in front of me. "How can you say that? How can you possibly tell me that this-" she gestured between us, "is because of your 'stupidity'?"

I took a deep breath and looked at the ceiling. "I didn't mean... look, Bella, you shouldn't have to go through all of this. You shouldn't have to spend weeks wondering the fate of 'us' because of a curse I inherited from a guy I can't be sure I even met. You deserve to have constant security and you deserve someone who can be everything you need without a doubt hanging over his head."

I trained my eyes on her again. "But I'm weak, because as long as you want me around, I can't stay away, and I think whoever's in charge of 'fate', or whatever, knows that you shouldn't be tied to me, to this curse, and you shouldn't have to stay in a relationship which puts you though all of this."

There was a span of silence between us as I avoided her stare, still partially berating myself for throwing my thoughts out there, and partially afraid that I'd see realisation in her eyes. What if she agreed? What if I'd just fucked it up all over again because I couldn't do anything but be honest with her?

"You're right," she said finally, making me wince. Here it was. "You are being stupid."

She took another step towards me and I trailed my eyes in an arc towards her face, watching those perfect lips as they were about tear me apart. "Embry, Leah already tried to 'open my eyes' to this. She took me all the way to Port Ange the other day to show me college guys, and you know what I realised?"

I finally met her gaze, thrown off by the softness of her tone, and my own curiosity.

"I don't want any one else." Honestly, I was floored by the sincerity in her expression, and how it was matched by her voice. She took another step towards me. "I know I have a choice... and after what happened today, you do too. If you choose to be with me then..." she sighed, "Look, I'm not getting out of this just when things are actually starting to look good for us. If your theory's right, then... Embry we could really do this. We could be together, and I'm not letting you ruin this because you have this ridiculous idea that I deserve better."

She took my hand, pressing it to her cheek. "There is no-one better than you."

In that moment, as completely cheesy as it sounds, it was like I knew the meaning of every love song ever written. My chest was about to burst, my knees felt week and my head swam, because this girl - this beautiful, headstrong, intelligent, selfless girl wanted me. She believed that I was meant for her, and that we'd chosen each other for a reason. I was just lucky enough that she saw through my self-doubt and let me hear it.

I kissed her. I poured everything I felt and everything I was discovering that I felt into it, folding my arms around her body and holding her close enough to break. Bella chose me, not just over fate, but over every other guy in the world she could have been with. It was her choice to move on, to let me in, to let her feelings for Jacob go and to allow me not just to see right through, but to break down the walls she'd built around herself. I felt like the luckiest guy in existence, and a lump formed in my throat as the enormity of it all hit me.

Her small hands weaved into my hair, soft breaths of mint and chamomile blooming across my lips as she fell into me. I was holding her up, revelling in the feeling of being that strength for her, and how I knew I was making her feel. Her own need increased my own, and blood coursed throughout me, sending heat to places that were taking over my thoughts.

I ground my body into hers, feeling her pliancy, the softness of her femininity which released one single thought from the recesses of my brain - the place the wolf inhabited, the darkness that I locked behind a wall of rational thought. He was roaring.

Devour.

I knew it should have startled me, but not for the first time, I wanted to listen; I wanted to give into him, even though the human side of me, the Embry side was terrified. There was no going back from this for either of us, once it happened. It was getting harder and harder to think as her hands trailed down my spine, fingers disappearing beneath the waistband of my pants with shaking, experimental touches. She was encouraging me - encouraging him, and my body shuddered with the battle of wills inside me.

I'd been here before, I knew how acting out my desires change the way I viewed someone, and how they viewed me. There had been a girl - just one - not long after I phased. In truth, she was a means to an end; an attempt comfort in a spiral of loneliness that didn't last - until Bella had given it to me with mere words. I'd slept with this girl in my desperation, and she'd bought into the myth of danger and intrigue surrounding Sam, Paul, Jared and I, taking the challenge of 'taming' one of the 'wild ones'. I took advantage of it - of her - and she'd been hurt in the process. It was wrong of me, I knew even as it was happening, but I didn't listen to the protests of my conscience. Maybe this time I should - I knew Bella's history, and the insight that she'd never done this before was the contending argument for the human side. I couldn't live with myself if this turned sour. Or, maybe Bella would be the one to regret this, and maybe we'd both get hurt.

The haze of lust and uncertainty started to disperse as Bella took a step backwards, towards the bed. I hesitated, but an endless second without her lips urged my feet forward, following her lead. She looked up at me in the candle-light, the laments of song surrounding us, breathlessness causing me to sway on my feet in a dance of what I wanted to do and what rationality was screaming that I shouldn't. I brushed a tendril of hair from her face and I can say without conviction that I'd never seen anything more beautiful in my entire life.

I couldn't do this - I couldn't risk breaking her and letting her make this mistake without thinking it through. More than that, I couldn't even believe this was a decision I was faced with.

Bella wanted me. I'd be remiss to say that how much that scared the crap out of me wasn't a huge part of this hesitation.

Bella wanted me; of all the people she could have, she chose to share this pivotal moment in her life with me - someone who really had no clue what he was doing, and up until a few months ago, had only seen a naked girl on television. I was probably going to faint when she took her underwear off.

"Bella-"

The furious vibration in my pocket cut the sentence off, and Bella's hooded gaze widened to normal, stepping back as she looked at the light shining though the fabric of my pocket. I groaned.

"Fuck.."

She looked at me imploringly. "Don't answer it."

I wanted to listen - I wanted to go back to blocking out the rational side of myself - but he won. This was an out, an opportunity to think, to buy time while I figured out what the fuck I was doing and why I wasn't just tearing her clothes off right then and there. Was I crazy? Probably, but then I'd become used to having two distinct sets of desires warring for dominance inside me.

"I'm sorry, it could be important," I lied. Nothing was as important as this. A small crease appeared between her brows as I fished the device from my pocket. Maybe the caller could talk some sense into me.

"It's Leah. I'm gonna, uh, take this downstairs," I said unsurely. Before she could reply, I answered the phone, walking out of the room while she flopped on the bed with a sigh, watching me go.

"Hello?"

"Are you with Bella?"

"Yeah, I ducked out of Jake's to make sure she was okay. You know, storm."

"Why do you sound so weird?"

"I don't," I defended, nearing the bottom of the stairs. I made my way to the back door, looking though the glass at the tantrum outside.

There was a pause while Leah gauged my answer. "Yes you do, you're being all defensive. Like you're guilty of something."

"I'm no-"

"Were you fucking her?"

I paused, jaw gaping, How the hell could she know that? "...No..."

"Real convincing, Call. No wonder your mom thinks you're on drugs."

"We weren't doing anything... just. Look, it's none of your business okay?"

"You were about to, weren't you?"

"No. Yeah.. look, I don't know. It's not that simple."

"What's not simple? This girl you've been having wet-dreams about for fuck knows how long wants to do the deed. I thought you'd be all for it."

I took several breaths, glancing over my shoulder to make sure Bella wasn't listening. "I'm not sure it's the right choice for her."

"What? Doing the no-pants-dance with you? Neither am I, but hey, Bella's a big girl. I'm sure she's capable of making a decision all by herself."

"But what if she regrets it? I mean... she's never... And what if I'm..."

"Oh, I see. You can't talk to Quil about this, because it's a secret, so you're asking me. Well, good. The only intelligent thing to come out of that kid's mouth was when he ate part of my mom's New England Journal Of Medicine in second grade, and threw it back up. "

I huffed a short laugh, remembering how he'd dared himself to do it and spent three days at home with 'ink poisoning'.

"I'm pretty sure I know what he'd say. I want a voice of reason here," I said, needing her to agree with the sensible side of me and quash this whole thing.

Leah sighed, like she was losing patience with the entire conversation. "Look, is she drunk?"

"No?"

"High?"

"No!"

"Is Bella on any kind of substance, or did she trip over a dust-bunny and hit her head?"

"No, she didn't, but-"

"And do you care about her. I mean really care about her. Enough to stick around after this happens?"

My wolf bristled at the question, and I wet my lips, knowing Leah was just being a good friend. "More than anything."

"Well, don't you think that's your answer?"

"But what if-"

"'What if' nothing. Look, dude, I've been though this with her. I tried warning her off of you, scaring her off sex... Hell, I even tried bribing her with hot college ass. She wants you. There just isn't another choice for her. Fuck knows why, but you're it. Congratulations."

My reflection in the glass dared to smile, before I swallowed it back. "And if she gets hurt?"

There was a pause. "She knows the risks Em. Just do her a favour? Never forget how important this was. She's not going to forget this - or you - for the rest of her life. Make it worth remembering."

I almost buckled under the pressure, but something in Leah's words spurred me on. This was Bella's choice. Our whole relationship was about choices and risks and choosing the path you're supposed to. If the one she chose led her to me, then I couldn't find fault with it, not when she was waiting upstairs for me, on her bed ready for me to show her exactly how I felt about her.

"But yeah," she sighed cutting into my conclusion and lowering her tone to gravel, "If you really want the standard Quil opinion...'Get in there, dude! Smack that! Hit that so hard, who ever pulls you out will be the next king of England... etcetera.'"

Squeezing my eyes shut, I shook my head. "Oh God, just stop," I laughed, "Alright... Uh... Thanks, Leah. You've given me plenty to think about."

"Sure thing, Home-slice. Oh, and don't worry, Swan's on the Pill. Happy banging!" she crowed, and the line went dead. My jaw dropped as I looked at the device, leaving me with some kind of shocked frown. Fuck! I hadn't even thought of that before she mentioned it. Maybe this wasn't such a good idea, if I was making such grave lapses in judgement.

Tapping the phone rhythmically off my palm, I turned in thought back to the hall, not quite looking at anything as the last protests made their case. I was at the foot of the stairs when I sensed her. Slipping the phone back in my pocket, my gaze trailed slowly up those steps, settling on pink toenails, pale, flawless legs and sleep shorts. She'd ditched the sweater she was wearing, and stood above me in just a thin cotton vest. I felt unworthy and fortunate, all at once, but when I met those eyes and the confused, unsure look within them, the decision made itself.

"Hey," I said pathetically, taking my first step towards her.

"Everything okay?" she asked, her eyes darting around the room to the dark as her confidence wavered.

I nodded."Yeah, Leah just wanted to make sure I was here," I explained, knowing it wasn't what her question meant, at all.

Her breathing became laboured with nerves, and her lips formed the shape of words she didn't yet say. Steeling herself, she tried again. "Look, if you want to slow things d-"

"I don't." I cut in, taking another step up. "I just want to be sure this isn't gonna be something you regret."

Her lips curled on one side, a tiny frown giving way to a sigh. "Weren't you listening, before?" she asked softly, "Haven't we been over this?" She took another step downstairs. "I'm sure about this.. I want this. Don't you? I mean, I don't want to force you-"

I looked to her with alarm. "Bella, believe me," I said with a soft laugh, hand tugging on the hair at the back of my head self-consciously. "Doing this... with you, would probably be the sweetest punishment on the planet." A small eruption of goosebumps formed on her skin at my words, and it was easier to make out the details of her body beneath her shirt. My mouth went dry.

"Bella," I said, "I want you so bad, I feel like I'm gonna burn."

Her eyes darkened, and the scent of her own desire turned the air heady and my legs didn't wait for permission before they stepped up, leaving us eye-level for the first time. Was this even real? I was barely sure I could feel the floor beneath my feet; almost like I wasn't quite obeying gravity. Her breath teased my mouth, eyes darting to my lips momentarily before she looked into mine again.

"Then why don't you have me?" she said. And that was it.

A chaos of soft touches and fevered kisses followed, a mess of hands and lips and short breaths and pounding hearts. Arms around my neck and legs around my waist were all the encouragement I needed, and I carried her back upstairs, barely navigating through the darkness as we knocked over lamps, caught on door-handles and tripped at tables, and Bella barely noticed anything but me. The scent of almost-spent wax, the hum of soft music and the faint glow of flame was the beacon leading us to our destination – to Bella's room, and the next stage of us.

Clearing the doorway, she pulled away and cast a cursory glance before smiling. "How... did we..." she breathed between kisses, "...Nevermind." She gave up speaking up as I trailed my bottom lip down the column of her neck, it elicited a contented hum as I approached the bed.

I laid her down gently among the sheets; the silken curtain of mahogany framing a face that I hadn't seen look so free or exhilarated in months, and I had to drop my face into her neck, just to try and get a grip on everything barrelling through me. I felt like I was about to burst, had to smile, and needed to touch every inch of her skin at once. I settled for nuzzling the soft skin beneath her ear, making her squirm and claw at my shoulders. As I traced a hand up her rib-cage, teasing at the skin beneath her shirt and approaching the swell of her breast, her breaths caught and one knee rose to my hip; not quite willing to stop me, and startled by everything new she was experiencing.

Her grip on my upper-arms became tighter, an attempt to hide the trembling of her fingers. I lifted my face, taking in the worried smile she gave me before leaning in for another kiss. I clenched my muscles, taking one hand and laying it beside her head as I watched her. Firm, reliable.

"Bella, relax," I soothed. "It's just me, okay?"

She locked those infinite eyes on mine and nodded, and I have never felt such responsibility in all my life. Now was the time. For whatever crazy reason, she believed I was the guy for her; the one who could be everything for her, and know what she needed.

"Just... go slow, okay?" she asked. "And um, we're okay in the... protection department, alright?"

Reassurance. Wasn't that all any of us craved?

I tried to hide the bashful smile with a kiss to her forehead. "Yeah," I breathed into her hair.

Leaning back on my knees, I traced her cheekbone with my thumb, aware that my other hand was still flirting with the skin of her stomach. She's relaxed into it, contentedly laying beneath me. "I'll take care of you, B, you know that, right?"

She leaned into my hand, eyes drifting closed with a nod. I felt her delicate touch snake down my abs to locate a belt-loop, and she tugged me back over her. Her eyes opened, and the sexiest fucking smile I've ever seen dawned over her face. "I know you will."

I couldn't fight it, there was no going back now. I covered her body with mine and all hesitation ended. I was so ready for her, I thought my skin was on fire, and her soft lips leaving their own paths over it, coupled with the experimental squirming of her hips and the parting of her knees wasn't helping my situation. I was sure she could feel what it was all doing to me beneath my pants, but all I wanted was more.

Her scent was everywhere, and the need to touch the skin I'd spent so many nights fantasizing about overtook me. I explored her pulse-points.

The back of her knee. Ticklish.

My thumb on her inner thigh. Goosebumps.

Lips on her neck. Racing pulse.

I was doing this to her, these minute gestures that were wreaking havoc on her self-control. But through it all, I felt the tension seep from her muscles, and her smiles became less pained as she gave over and just bathed in the sensation.

"Fuck, Em," she breathed, grabbing another handful of hair. The feelings emboldened her own movements, and I sucked in a steadying breath when her hand sneaked beyond the boundaries of where it had previously been and firmly - but playfully - squeezed my butt.

I smirked into her cheek, finally taking that as an open invitation to let my hand close over the swell of that perfect breast, thumb over her nipple, and felt Bella arch right off the bed towards me. I wrapped an arm around her waist, pulling her fully upright against my chest.

"You get handsy, so do I," I teased, nose to nose.

She nipped at my mouth and smirked. "Just getting to know you," she chimed innocently, hands once again inside my pants, raking her nails over my skin.

"I see.. would you and my ass like a moment alone?" I asked, cupping the back of her head with one palm and exposing her neck to kisses and tastes. She gave an abashed little chuckle, breathy from my ministrations as she felt how I'd been affected by this through our clothes.

"I'm sorry," she giggled, and my left butt-cheek received another squeeze. "It's just..." The noise she made was one I was sure had only every been heard in all-male strip-clubs before now. "Damn, Em..."

"I think you do like my 'everything'," I spoke into her collar-bone, chest puffed with male pride.

"I like this," she said, and once again the merchandise received a pinch.

"You're gonna leave a mark," I warned, clenching under her hand and nipping at the muscles of her shoulder with my teeth. "Besides, it's no fair if you get all the fun."

Tortuously, my hands disappeared beneath the shirt above her pelvis, and I gently raised it, stroking my fingers over her cool skin, until I had no choice but to lift my chin and lean back, gauging her reaction one last time. She looked to me trustingly and raised her arms, eyes locked on mine the entire time to to pull the vest above her head and discard it on the bed beside us.

It felt like an electric shock went straight through me the first time I looked at her; all pale here, pink there, and completely flawless. I closed my eyes to steady myself, pulling a breath in through my mouth before chancing another look with hooded eyes.

"Shit, Bella... you're... wow," I stammered, feeling like a cheesy idiot. It was completely worth it, though, when the relief panned over her face and she gently took my hand, guiding it to her waist.

Leaning her back down into the pillows, it was all I could do not to purr or something equally as strange – my body didn't know what to do with all of this, the anticipation and hormones and racing pulse. Her skin tasted like everything I'd ever craved and never knew I wanted, and I made a mission of intimately getting to know each detail of her torso, cataloguing each place that made her gasp or smile or groan when touched. My tongue on her nipple caused her fingers to rake enthusiastically across my scalp, her knees parting to welcome me between them; an act of desire and trust that made me wonder for the hundredth time how the hell I got so lucky.

With a hand on her thigh, I circled her navel, my breath tickling the flesh and causing the delicate muscles in her stomach to contract as she noiselessly laughed. Reaching the top of those tiny cotton shorts, this was the last hurdle. Bella tipped her head slightly to catch my eyes and raised her hips, the last invitation I would ever need.

Reverently, I lowered them over those perfect legs, desperately holding myself back from tasting her once she was fully exposed.

I kissed her thigh, her hip, trailing my nose and lips higher over her form and pausing only when I reached her breasts to reacquaint myself with each, all while Bella whimpered and gasped and emitted scents and sounds which were pretty much taking a sledgehammer to my self-control.

Sitting back on my heels, I took in one last calming breath to rid the shudders from my spine and the burning in my veins before moving over her. Be careful. Go slowly. Let her set the pace.

I watched her expression carefully as I shed my clothes, finally settling between her thighs and finding the unmistakable sense of belonging. She sucked in a sudden breath as I trailed my hand delicately between her legs; pupils dilating with desire as the first soft groans made their way past her lips. She encouraged me with her expressions, accepting my movements over her tiny bundle of nerves hungrily as I brought her closer to coming undone... before I stopped. It was too much – for both of us – and I desperately wanted this to last.

Attempting to catch her breath, Bella cupped my cheek with one hand, smiling softly as she gulped past the emotion and the racing of her heart. "I'm glad I waited, Em," she croaked, voice breaking with sentiment. "I'm glad it's you."

I could say nothing, so I kissed her, closing my eyes and trying not to combust right then and there.

I took her hand, placing it on my shoulder and met her eyes meaningfully. "This will probably hurt, Baby, but I'm not going to do anything you can't handle. You're not doing this alone."

She nodded swiftly, and I moved my hips into position.

"Kiss me?" she requested, bringing both hands either side of my face. Capturing her lips with mine, I felt her let go, her body relaxing as she fell into the kiss. As her breathing became deeper, I teased at her entrance with the head of my shaft, experimenting with how much she could take.

Raising her knees around my waist for encouragement, she held me in place with her kisses, urging me onwards. Slowly, I guided myself inside, breathing through the intensity of how she felt around me, the warm, wet heat of her most intimate place, and the enormity of the moment. I was less than half-way when Bella tensed a little, the pain beginning to contort her face with discomfort. Beads of perspiration were holding her hair slick of her forehead, and I kissed her temple.

"It's okay, Baby, just breathe," I soothed, and she took in a breath.

"Do it, please... I just need. Please. I just want you," she asked, threats of a tear gathering at the corner of her eye.

Pressing my forehead to hers, I mirrored her breaths, and did it. There was a moment of silence and absolute guilt as she clenched her teeth shut and powered through the pain. After what felt like too long, she spoke. "Move, Em... please.."

I started with slow circles of my hips, feeling her lips on my neck as I attempted to soothe the ache we both had. I would make this worth it, and I would make this worth remembering for her. I didn't want her to need anyone but me, and I'd spend the rest of my days proving her right that she'd chosen the right guy, if she'd let me.

Soon, the expression on her face relaxed, and once again Bella's hands roamed over me, making her own mental map of each muscle and sinew of my body. Her hands dipped over my spine, reaching the movements of my behind as she tracked each slow, torturous thrust. A soft moan was released into my neck, and the surge of arousal that simple noise gave me should have been illegal. I was throbbing inside of her, each muscle of my body coiling into a spring and all I wanted was to let go and lose myself in her.

As if sensing that I was holding back, Bella nipped lightly on my ear-lobe.

"I won't break, Em," she breathed, tongue moving to trace the shell of my ear and my rhythm momentarily lost momentum. "Please... enjoy this."

Her voice was all I needed to hear as my hips sped up slightly, liquid fire pooling deep within me as Bella's moans turned to groans, and she gripped me tighter, holding me as if I'd disappear. Our bodies gleamed in the candle-light with a sheen of sweat and need, and it took all the concentration I had not to find my release before she did.

Make it worth remembering.

I nipped at her neck, my hands seeking out the newest parts of her form that I'd become acquainted with. I pulled a nipple between my lips and ran my tongue around it, Bella's body responding to every single touch with closed eyelids and an arched back.

Without warning, her eyes shot open, and those perfect lips formed an 'O' as she hurtled over the edge, inner-muscles clenching in a rhythm of ecstacy which made her body shake and her cries echo from the ceiling.

Finally, I let go, and my own release was more intense and extended than any I'd felt before. Everything was different, the world was different, we were different, and I never wanted anything to be the same again. As I wrapped Bella in my arms, still buried inside her heat, and pressed after-glow kisses to her cheeks and lips, my body relaxed. It had happened – it had happened to me and I could scarcely believe that it wasn't all some vivid fantasy that I'd wake from.

Even my world couldn't be that cruel.

I took in the contented expression on her face, how she looked back me with a secret trust that none could break and I knew, from that moment on that nothing and no-one was going to take this away from me.

Bella believed I deserved her, so nothing else mattered, not even those who wanted to break us.

Let them all try – I was ready.

A/N: I hate virginity lemons, I should have made her have drunken sex with Mike Newton months ago, just so I didn't have to write about it. UGGH.

Also, I wanted to thank anyone who nominated me in the Emerging Swan Awards. I completely forgot to ask you guys to vote before the deadline, so I'm not exactly expecting to win - BUT having 5 noms was a treat in itself! I was floored! I don't know what y'all were thinking but.. wow! :)

Sooo...thoughts on this chapter? Who else wants a little squeeze of Embry's ass?