Walking on the Tracks Chapter 14
For what felt like hours none of us spoke. We all stood there, speechless as we stared at the twisted legs poking out from the bushes at the bottom of the dip.
It was Chris who eventually took action and rushed down to the body and we all followed hectically. When we reached the body we saw just how extreme it was, the train had knocked the life out of Ray Brower's body like the light of a bulb after it had been smashed. Chris picked up a stick and carefully brushed off the tangle of leaves and twigs covering the remains of Brower with slight hesitant.
A face.
A young face plastered with deep fleshy cuts and purple bruises.
It was at that moment we all realised something that hit us like a tsunami. This wasn't just a cheap shot to getting our five minutes of fame, just our names getting mentioned as if we were heroes in our town's shitty paper or having our faces shown on the television sets in every home in Castle Rock. This was a child. A real human being. He was our age. His eyes, now dark and empty as the night sky, were once sparkling with life and wonder. This was a guy who had his whole life ahead of him, choices to make, things to see. All that taken away from him in the flashing seconds, all those golden opportunities snatched from this poor soul in the blink of an eye. It could have been any one of us walking along the tracks searching for blueberries that day.
The kid wasn't sick.
The kid wasn't sleeping.
The kid was dead.
Why had God chosen to take this boy?
The weight of all this was crushing me. I heard Chris mumble something about building a stretcher but my thoughts had blocked my sense of hearing. My legs went numb as if they were filling up with lead causing me to sit down on a fallen trunk behind me. I started to think about Jane and Denny. They were once full of life like Brower was. I took one last look at his face, I thought hard about how behind all the scars and swelling was the fresh face of a teenager who would never age. Like my sister and Denny. I saw their bright young faces that would stay the same age. They wouldn't ever age and their faces would look like they did when they passed until the soft flesh rotted away into crumbled bone then to dust.
I then asked what I had always wanted to ask since their deaths. "Why?"
"D...Dan?" Chris's voice was faint and distant. I stayed silent, not being able to fathom a single word from my brain to my throat.
My eyes still stayed focus on the mangled corpse of Ray Brower but I could feel Chris getting closer to me slowly, I didn't look up at him even when he sat down beside me and I could feel the warmth radiating from his body. He didn't say anything. That's what I appreciated about Chris Chambers, he would always wait for you to feel ready to talk.
"Why did Jane and Denny have to die Chris?" I whispered my voice hoarse and my throat dry "why?". I asked as if Chris had the answers I needed, I wanted him to so badly it hurt. He was silent for a few seconds before shaking his head slightly and replying with a low "I don't know". "Why her? Why wasn't it me?" I then said starting to crumble, "why would it be you?" Chris asked his voice turning sterner "why should it have been you Daniel?". Why? Why me instead of Jane or Denny or Brower who I never even bothered to get to know? Why did Denny have to get hit by that stupid fucking jeep? Why did it have to make my older sister who I thought was strong and proud swallow a bottle of poison and stop her young heart?
Why did Ray Brower have to walk across the tracks for fucking blueberries?!
"I wish it were me".
"Don't ever say that man" Chris sounded like he was going to choke up but he somehow managed to keep his voice steady. "My family hate me, they wish it were me instead of Jane" I sobbed so hard I thought my aching heart would tumble out my chest onto the hard ground. "Your family...Dan, they don't hate you man" Chris tried to reassure me "they just don't know you that's all...they don't know you well enough to hate you Dan".
I couldn't stop the red hot tears pouring from my eyes onto my flushed cheeks. I felt like a godamn pussy for crying but I didn't stop. Chris wrapped his arm around my shoulder and pulled me close to him in an attempt to comfort me.
"You're gonna do great things with your life Dan" Chris told me quietly and I could feel the smile in his voice "I mean you're smart and kind and loyal and you can do whatever you want in this world...not to mention you're a badass sometimes". I managed to calm my sobs and wiped my wet eyes and nose before looking up to meet Chris's gaze with my own.
"I can be quite the badass when I want huh?" I hiccuped back a sob and smiled. "Yeah man" Chris gave me a final smile of support when a sharp voice snarled.
"What the fuck do we got ourselves here?".