"He isn't the same."

A deep sigh came from Balin across the table. "He has a lot on his mind, Kíli. Neither of you ever thought that something like this would happen. He has to adapt to be what our people need."

Kíli knew that, but a part of him didn't care. Was it childish to still need his brother and resent his new duties? Probably. Of all the company, Balin was the most knowledgeable and never made one feel small or ashamed of a query. He was also one of the very few who knew what it was like to live with a King Under the Mountain. "Did you think that this would happen?"

"Laddie, I was never sure we would even reclaim the mountain. It was a fool's quest with little chance of success."

Kíli paused in lighting his pipe to stare at Balin. "Why did you come then?"

"Thorin was my king and I would follow him where he led. He believed it could be done and I had to trust in that." Balin's gaze turned to the destruction inside the mountain. "But I've never been sure if the cost of this quest was worth the end result."

Glancing at his brother who had fallen asleep in his chair, Kíli now wondered the same. Fíli wasn't wearing the crown yet its weight was a burden brining him down already. His clothes were covered in soot and dirt from the wreckage they had been clearing. Some had tried to tell him that the king's heir shouldn't be doing something like that, but Fíli hadn't stopped.

"I can't stop, Kíli," Fíli said softly. "As soon as I stop, I start thinking and we both know that isn't my strong suit."

"It's stronger than mine."

"Because you only use your head to attack someone with," his brother chuckled. "Uncle always told you to stop before you just charge madly in."

Kíli wanted to shrug it off, but too many bad things had happened on this quest for him to just ignore it. And he wondered if he had followed his uncle's advice, would things have turned out differently?

Fíli let out a deep sigh and shook his head. "There's so much to do, Brother. Anyone who thinks ruling is easy has never tried it."

"It'll get easier. We're trying to rebuild right now. Once that's done, it'll get easier."

A tired smile crossed Fíli's face. "I hope so, Kíli."

They had had that conversation only last night, but it felt like so long ago. With every day that passed, it felt like the brother he knew was slipping away.

A heavy hand landed on his shoulder and made him look up. "Balin?"

"Don't worry so much, Kíli," he said quietly. "No matter what happens, Fíli will always be your brother. Things will be hard for a while, but you two will always be brothers."

Kíli forced a smile and nodded before the older dwarf took his leave. He knew that they would always be sons of Dís, but a crown had never been between them before. It was something they would have to get used to and fast before it turned into a problem.

Smoking slowly, he watched the puffs of smoke drift through the air and thought about the problem. Was it really an actual problem? Or was he just turning it into one? He supported every decision his brother made and gave his input when he thought it was needed. It had only been a week since Fíli had issued his commands to the company, but he had already accomplished much. Matters with the Men had been settled and it had gone smoothly enough that relations between their two races had improved greatly. Even though both of their homes were in ruins, there had been talk of re-establishing Dale and restoring the ties between their two kingdoms.

Bard had even appeased Thranduil by giving the elf king all of the great emeralds that had been in the share of treasure the man had taken. Both armies had departed after that, leaving only dwarves, a hobbit and a wizard on the mountain.

Kíli had wondered if Dain, who hadn't seemed impressed when some of his warriors had elected to remain in Erebor, would have demanded some tribute for his help. So when the king of the Iron Hills had asked for an audience, he had expected the worst.

Instead, Dain had complimented Fíli on how swiftly and diplomatically he had handled the Men and Elves. It had been hard to contain his surprise, but Fíli had accepted the praise graciously. Their distant cousin had offered advice about rebuilding and had offered to ask in the Iron Hills if any miners or stone masons would be willing to return to Erebor.

"Why would you do that?"

Dain's dark gaze glanced at Kíli. "It will take a while for your people to get here from the Blue Mountains," he said quietly, "and there are probably many who may not want to leave."

"True enough," Fíli conceded, "but why offer? You weren't happy when some of your dwarves chose to stay."

"Because they're good fighters and their presence will be missed. But they originally came from Erebor and I cannot deny them their home." Dain paused and considered both of them. "You have the chance to return Erebor to its former glory. If you do it right, the Lonely Mountain may even grow greater than before. You may not want it, but if ever you need help, do not hesitate to send word. We are Durin's folk, no matter how distant our families and I want you to succeed here."

Dain had stayed for a few days longer, giving both brothers advice on ruling a kingdom. He had suggested a few areas to focus on rebuilding and answered every question they had had.

Neither Thorin nor the Arkenstone had come up.

Glancing at Fíli when he groaned, he saw his brother stretching in his chair.

"How long?" Fíli asked around a yawn."

"Not long enough," he said honestly.

Fíli rolled his eyes and looked over the building plans in front of him. Bofur had surveyed the damage in key areas and drew up plans for safe excavations. They were planning on starting a major area tomorrow and they all needed to be well rested for the work. But he'd have a better chance of learning to fly then tell Fíli what to do.

Setting aside his pipe, Kíli watched as his brother sorted and shuffled the papers. A sudden memory came to him and he smiled. "Do you remember the first time we built something together?" he asked.

Fíli paused before he chuckled. "Mother was not happy to come home to a dwarven fort in her sitting room."

"We moved all of the furniture in every unlocked room into it. We had a tunnel entrance and two levels above."

"We used her clean linens to make bedrooms and resting places at the back and drew a pattern on a pillow case to make a flag."

"It was the first time she'd left us on our own and she swore she'd never do it again. Even though you were fifteen and I was ten," Kíli laughed. "I'd never seen her so mad."

"You made it worse by asking if she could be our dragon because she was breathing fire."

His cheeks tinted slightly even as he laughed. "She scared me enough that I didn't want to ever leave the fort."

"Neither of us did until uncle got home. We wanted to show him what we had built." Fíli shook his head. "He didn't know whether to be mad or impressed."

"He was mad when Mother was there and promised her he would take care of the issue. Once she was gone, he locked the door and told us that we'd built a fine fort," Kíli said softly. "That we were worthy members of the line of Durin, but that we would have to put everything back where we found it."

"After we defeated the dreaded dark king from the forge," Fíli finished. "Uncle played with us for hours in that room and helped us put everything back when he decided it was time to stop."

Something stung Kíli's eyes and he blinked quickly to rid them of the feeling. Three weeks. Thorin had been lying death-like in his bed for three weeks. Gandalf had no idea what was wrong with him and everything he tried didn't work. With every day that passed, it felt like he was truly never going to wake up.

Fíli reached over and squeezed his arm. "I miss him too, Kíli," he said quietly. "Things are definitely not the same without him here."

And they never would be. Two things had been the main constant in their lives. Their mother and uncle and they had neither of them here. While they had been adventuring, he hadn't had time to think about his mother or missing her and it hadn't been all bad since Thorin was there. But now they didn't have either of those presences. It didn't matter that they were both now adults, he still wanted to talk with his mother about everything that had happened and what was happening now.

Before he could ask Fíli if he felt the same a shout echoed through the hallways. Both brothers tensed, sure they had heard it wrong even as their hearts started to pound.

"He's awake!"

Leaping out of their chairs and racing out of the room, Kíli followed only a step behind his brother as they ran down the hall. Those two words inspired so much hope in Kíli that he felt like this couldn't be real. Would their uncle truly be returned to them? And why had they been sitting in a room so far away from the one that Thorin was resting in.

Bofur's yell echoed a third time and Kíli was sure that he heard the heavy thumping of other dwarves running toward the room their fallen leader was in. Everyone in the company would surely come as soon as those words reached them.

Heart pounding in his ears, he followed his brother right into the room, nearly knocking Bofur over in the process. He swung towards the bed, his shout for his uncle dying on his lips when he saw that Thorin was lying as still as he had been for the past three weeks. "Is this a joke?" he asked, rounding on the other dwarf.

"He was awake!" Bofur insisted, staring at the bed. "I swear on my life, he was awake!"

But he didn't look like it now! Had they missed their chance to speak with their uncle because they had been too far away from the room?!

"He was awake," Bilbo said softly, looking up from where he was sitting beside the bed. "I spoke with him."

Kíli stared at the hobbit and was sure his brother was doing the same. "What did he say?" they demanded together.

The Halfling took a deep breath, glancing at Thorin. "He was himself again," he said, his voice sounding both sad and relieved at the same time. "The Thorin we knew from travelling across Middle Earth and not the one he became. He said he understood why I took the Arkenstone and that he was wrong to remove me from the company. He was…sorry for the way things happened."

Eyes squeezing shut, Kíli understood why the conflicting emotions were in the hobbit's voice. To know that his uncle had truly become himself again only to slip back into this death sleep?

"Anything else?" Fíli asked, his voice strained.

Bilbo looked up again. "He asked about you, both of you. He was worried about you because the last he had seen, you had fallen defending him."

The wounds were nearly healed but they still ached at the mention of that day and Kíli barely kept himself from pressing his hand to his chest. "What did you tell him?"

"He was fading already, but I think he heard me when I told him that you were both alive and well."

If only they could have been here to tell him themselves! The stinging pain in his eyes was back and he didn't think that blinking was going to make it go away this time. Squeezing his eyes shut, he barely heard Bilbo excuse himself or the door close as all of the dwarves left him and his brother alone with their uncle.

"Kíli," Fíli said quietly, his hand settling on his shoulder.

A broken noise left Kíli as he fell to his knees at the foot of the bed. "He can't die, Fíli," he said, looking up at his brother through teary eyes. "He can't leave us like this!"

There were tears in his brother's eyes as well as he knelt beside him. "I know, Kíli."

"We wouldn't even get to say good bye! It's like what happened with Father only worse!" he sobbed.

Fíli grabbed his shoulders and pulled him into a tight hug. Exactly what he had done when they had been children and word had come to them of their father's death. Kíli had been too young then to truly understand what had happened and why his family was crying and upset. But he was old enough now to understand that the death of a loved one could easily destroy one's entire world.

A/N: So. How do you like your epic sadness? Is it treating you as horribly as it did me? I nearly cried when I brainstormed this with my room mate and nearly sobbed writing it. However, I've decided that I'm going to finish writing this story to get it out of my system and then return to Brotherly Love and whatever new ideas come my way. So, even though it is a feel breaking chapter, I hope you liked reading it and thank you to each and every one of you that have read it and continue to do so! I love you all even if you hate me for this chapter.