!*!*! ATTENTION ... ВНИМАНИЕ ... ATENTIE !*!*!
Disclaimer: Quick question. Is Ron a bit of a git? Yes, yes he is. That's how you know I didn't write Harry Potter. The timid awesomeness that is Neville Longbottom would have become the third member of the Golden trio. Read on!
Harry looked back and forth between the two. "I take it that you two have met, then?" he asked, stating the obvious.
The girl, Melissa, nodded. "Oh, we have. Harry, can I talk to you for a moment? Alone?"
"What?" He glanced at Voldemort and Lucius, and then gave them an apologetic smile. "I'll be back in a second, okay?" And then he allowed Melissa to drag him off to a corner of the shop.
Voldemort strained his ears in their direction, but couldn't hear anything besides heated whispers. This was one of those times when he wished that he had one of the Weasely twin's extendable ears. So useful… He actually rather liked the twins themselves, as well. Unlike the majority of their family, they weren't still trying to oppose him and weren't constantly denouncing him as an evil scumbag dictator, or something along those lines. He'd stopped paying attention.
Snape sidled over, appearing as if by magic from a dark row of books. "Would you like to know what they're arguing about? I think Potter forgot that I was nearby."
"Well?"
"It's about you, it seems. She doesn't trust you and thinks you're a bad influence, trying to persuade Potter not to see you anymore. He, on the other hand, is being his usual good-hearted self." The way he said it made it sound like a particularly undesirable illness. "He says you've been nothing but pleasant and can't see a reason for her animosity against you. Apparently, he's absolutely oblivious to the fact she's fond of him. He said, to placate her I'm sure, that he'll make sure that you leave at the first sign that you're, to use his phrasing, a rotter."
Voldemort nodded, a pleased expression on his countenance. Good. The boy didn't believe her, and she was most likely alienating him with her behavior. And he had barely had to do anything at all!
Then, Severus added, "Also, they appear to be making plans to go out later…"
The Dark Lord frowned, his mood switching suddenly. Now that was annoying.
Harry came back a moment later, still apologetic. "Sorry about that. Melissa just wanted to talk about something store related."
Really, he was a dreadful liar.
"And she came in to relieve me so to speak."
Lucius raised an eyebrow questioningly. "Oh? You get off work now?"
"Yeah. I only work here until three. After this, I go to my other job."
"Which is?"
"Well… it's not quite one thing I do. I mean… Look, would you like to see? You three might find it interesting, and Daphne might even be interested. They have some classes for the younger kids there, " Harry said, grabbing a leather bag from behind the desk and throwing it over his shoulder after shoving a book in it.
Voldemort blinked. Harry had said absolutely nothing about what his job actually was in that whole thing. And kids classes? Maybe some sort of arts center or something?
He nodded, "Sure. Since you made me curious, I just have to see it now. What about you? Luke? Sean?"
They nodded, following his lead.
"Great," Harry beamed. "You might even want to sign up for some classes yourselves."
Sign up for what exactly?
Draco's blonde-curled head came poking out from one of the aisles. "What's happening?"
"We're going to go see exactly what Harry's other job is," Voldemort said in a kind voice, definitely suited for talking to children. "Are you ready?"
"Yes. Just one minute, Thomas."
Voldemort sighed internally. He much preferred being called Lord Voldemort or something of that nature.
The head disappeared, and then Draco reappeared carrying a stack of books that seemed to be half as tall as he was.
Lucius almost gaped at his son, almost because Malfoys don't gape. "What are all of those?"
"Books. I'd like to get them."
"And how are you going to pay for them?"
Draco actually pouted, an action that would have been extremely disturbing on his usual form and was more than mildly disconcerting on this one, and said, "But my birthday is coming up, and you said you'd get me anything I wanted. I want these." This was accompanied by puppy-dog eyes and quivering lips.
Voldemort eyed both him and the pile of books. He was probably just getting them to annoy Lucius for not standing up for him when Voldemort transformed him into a girl.
Harry was looking at Lucius expectantly. And, with a small, shared smile, Voldemort and Snape joined ganging up on the man.
"You did promise her, Luke," Voldemort lied gleefully.
"Oh, fine," Lucius snapped. "I'll buy you the books."
"All of them?" Draco pressed.
"Yes, all of them."
"Yay!" Draco set down the books, and clapped his hands together in the picture of childish delight.
Voldemort was pretty sure that there was an evil smirk in there, too. A moment later, he saw why.
Along with some normal fantasy, Draco had somehow managed to find the most expensive books in the store, ranging from music to Shakespeare to a leather bound journal from the 19th century on different types of sea turtles.
Harry's expressive eyes widened when he saw the total. "Um… Are you sure that you want all of those?"
"Yes," chirped Draco.
"That will be a total of one thousand eight hundred, forty-two pounds, and seventeen pence."
Lucius's eye twitched noticeably. To spend that much on muggle books… He was probably imagining throttling Draco at the moment. He moved as though to reach for money, and then stopped, eyes widening.
Voldemort knew what the problem was. He didn't have any muggle money, and, if he did, he wouldn't know how to use it.
He hurriedly stepped in. "I know you lost your card, Luke. I'll spot you, and you can pay me back later."
Lucius nodded at him gratefully, and Voldemort handed Harry a credit card.
After the books were bagged, and Draco had sweetly said, "Luke, you have to carry the bags for me because I'm a girl," they were ready to go.
And, so they left the bookstore, Melissa giving Harry a frown as he left with them, which he ignored.
Severus seemed to be in danger of choking from repressed laughter. Lucius looked like he wanted to murder his son in a particularly painful fashion, and Draco looked to be enjoying himself immensely.
Harry and Voldemort walked a little ahead of the others as they moved down the street.
Harry smiled up at the taller man. "It was really nice to lend him that much money. I'm rather surprised that you let her buy those things, though."
Voldemort waved it aside, although slightly pleased. "He's my friend." Follower. "And it's her birthday soon. I guess I just wanted to indulger her a little." Or help him annoy his father.
Harry nodded. "Still. It was nice of you. By the way, I have a question. What do you do? For a living, I mean."
Voldemort paused. "I… I'm a manager." Well, that wasn't strictly false. In fact, it was pretty accurate. He was just leaving out the details, like that he managed the wizarding world. Just little details.
Harry stopped suddenly. "Well, this is my other job. I suppose it's more like a hobby, though. I opened up the place with a friend."
Voldemort looked up at the sign above the door. It read, in rather square blue letters, "Balance." He peered in through gleaming windows. "A gym?" he guessed aloud.
"Not exactly," Harry corrected. "They teach martial arts here, and other things, too. They teach yoga, tai chi, tae kwon do, ju jitsu, meditation, and several other things as well."
Severus spoke up. "You work in a bookstore and… teach here?"
Harry flushed slightly. "Yes. I know they don't exactly seem to go together, but they, well, balance each other out. I learned martial arts because I wanted to be able to defend myself without a w-"
Wand, Harry?
"Weapon," Harry finished.
It was actually a good idea. While the majority of wizards were disinclined to learn how to fight using hand to hand combat, dismissing it as brutish and unnecessary, Voldemort wasn't of that opinion. What if you didn't have your wand? What then? None of the spells in the world, no matter how brilliant, could save you then. Which is why he, while not practicing a martial art, kept in shape at least.
He followed Harry into the building, taking in it's clean, white walls, wooden floors, and plethora of bamboo plants.
A woman at a desk cupped a hand over the speaker of her phone and shot Harry a quick, "Hello, Harry. They've changed your schedule today. Kids class starts tomorrow. They've switched things all around. You're teaching beginners today, your usual class. Got it?"
Harry nodded. "Yeah, I've got it. Thanks, Anne." He tugged on Voldemort's sleeve, jerking his head towards a doorway. "If you want to stay, just go through there and take a seat on one of the benches. I need to go change." And then, before he could say anything, the green-eyed boy sped off.
The woman at the desk shot him a knowing wink, for what he couldn't say, and then made a shooing motion with her hands towards the room that Harry had indicated.
He didn't even pause, but walked in, Lucius, Severus, and Draco trailing behind him.
It was a dojo, with wooden benches lining the walls and thick blue mats covering the majority of the floor. The room was already filled with more than dozen people who glanced at them quickly and then went back to what they were doing.
Voldemort lounged on the bench in a manner almost abnormally elegant, legs crossed, and waited for Harry to make his appearance. The first thing he noticed was that there seemed to be a high number of women in the class, more than half. Wasn't that unusual? And they were tittering for some reason.
Then, Harry came in, wearing a pair of soft, white cotton pants and a T-shirt. He strode to the front of the room, padding barefoot across the floor silently, and then turned to face the crowd of people.
"Okay!" he said, clapping his hands together. "We're going to be doing the basics today, but, since you all got what I taught you last time… I thought we could start throwing and pinning people today. How does that sound?"
The students nodded excitedly.
Voldemort blinked and wondered how much fire whiskey he had been drinking to imagine this hallucination. Harry Potter, the savior of the wizarding world… worked part time at a bookstore and part time teaching martial arts? He was pretty sure the prophecy hadn't said anything about this.
Hello, all of you wizards, witches, house-elves, and any aliens that may or may not be reading this. That's right. I made Harry bad-ass. Well, he's proficient at fighting at least. I didn't want to make him just a book worm, even if I love book worms. Plus, this will keep him fit... Right. I have no idea what I'm babbling about any more. Anyway, in about two chapter, things are going to start really moving along and a whole bunch of questions people have been asking about the story will be answered! Plus, a whole bunch of potentially disturbing things will happen. Cool, right?
Ja ne,
Rumer Hasit
Fireotaku18: Yes, Draco in a dress... Awesome, right? I'm waiting for him to come along and use the cruciatus curse on me, though. In this chapter, though, I think he was a little too at ease being a girl... He's probably going to be teased about that later. Anyway, I hope you liked the chapter.
Reader-Anonymous: Yes, Draco and Lucius almost blew it. But, Severus, being the amazing git he is, did pretty well. Voldemort knows he can count on Snape... Well, more so than any of the other, except perhaps Luna. She's just plain awesome in her own right. Well, apparently we're both addicted to the internet. I... I'm not sure I could go back to having no internet without having some sort of major psychological break down. The internet is just so packed full of useful information!
RRW: Well, thank you. I'm glad that you think the story is funny. Thank you for reading my story and for reviewing.
OmnitrixFairy74: Ah, you think it's good? That's nice to know. And you say you wanted an update? Well, sorry this one took so long, but I do hope you enjoy it. Oh, and interesting name.
Gemini Peverell: Wonderful? What a nice thing to say. I appreciate it, and I'm glad that you like the last chapter, Gemini. I also hope that you liked this one, even if it was a little short.
Barranca: Yes, I rather think that she will. I mean, I don't think she'll mean to, but she will, and neither of them will know what's happening probably. Ah... I can just imagine it all... Poor Harry. He's in for a world of disturbingness, isn't he?
sousie: Well, I didn't exactly update soon, but I do hope that you enjoyed this chapter.
olciak123: Yes, tons of disguises. Ah... But, as to what you said, no what's in here isn't extremely important to the plot, but it does set some things up between him and Draco later, so I guess it's minor part? Anyway, if you'll continue reading, in about two chapter, things really should get deeper into the plot.
mountain ash: Yes! I love a disguised Draco, too. Especially when it annoys him so much. And it means a lot that you think he's in character. I really do try to keep them in character. It seems like it makes the story more real somehow, you know?
noelnoel2: So, you liked the exchange between Harry and Draco? Well, good. I was just trying to figure out how they would interact if Harry had no idea who he was talking to and Draco still despised Harry's guts. And, yes, P-peabrain... At least Draco covered up his slip.
IkutoisSmexy: You loved it? Well, I love you for loving it... Okay, that sounds a little odd. You know what I mean, right? I appreciate that you like my story. That's what I mean... Anyway, I hope you enjoy this chapter.
history: Yes, Harry has finally found some peace in his tumultuous life... for a little at lease. I think Voldemort is going to crush that peacefulness and introduce some chaos into his life again. But he'll probably bring some good things as well... I think. And Voldemort asking Severus, Draco, and Lucius would be something he might do. I mean, Draco and Severus do know a lot about Harry, right? Although, they both sort of hate him, so they might be a little biased.
Identity: Ummm... Yes. Voldemort doesn't quite realize that he likes Harry yet... There's probably going to be a whole bunch more of denial before that comes about, but we all know it's going to happen in the end, don't we? I'm sure there will be plenty of fluffiness later, although... I don't actually know what smexy is... care to explain?
Demigod . Exorcist . Magic: Yes! Voldemort does indeed have a sense of humor! Amazing, right? Who knew? And, yes, Voldemort is a bit lenient with Snape and Lucius, but they haven't done anything that needs punishing... yet. And Voldemort really doesn't like Melissa, does he? The battle for Harry's attention begins! And as for what happened to the Order of the Phoenix and the rest of them, I'll explain that all in a few chapters.
Isys Skeeter: Yes! You're a fan! It made me grin like an absolute loon when I read that, Isys. And I will most definitely continue with this story. I don't see how I could possibly stop with you asking for another chapter.
sasunaru2themax: Is this a soon enough update for you? And thank you for reading and reviewing this story.