Suggested Listening: Best Nights by Lydia, Autumn Leaves by Ed Sheeran, Better by Matthew Mayfield, Say Say Say by Dan Andriano in the Emergency Room, One By One by Unkle Bob, My Standard Break From Life by Alkaline Trio (For Jacob)

Chapter Thirty-Five: Leave 'Em All Instead

One mistake

I would never change

I want it all now, want it my way

'Cause she knows how I work

How I run, my insides

'Cause I will second guess

Everything about me

You're the only one that could see

How fucking crazy

I was starting to be

Yeah so pull me right back down, lady

I tilted my head towards the sky and leaned back on my elbows. Un-fucking-believable.

For once in my life, I've got someone who needs me, someone I've needed so long... For once, unafraid, I can go where life leads me, and somehow I know I'll be strong...

She loves me. I mean, fuck. She said it. She...loves me. I played the moment over and over on a loop, feeling the swell of balance and contentment bloom out from my body, the sensation of wolf and man in agreement - because she'd actually fucking said it, looking into my eyes, and no matter what happened, or who came between us, there was no taking that back. This girl I'd barely dared to dream about was actually mine. I was the walking epitome of every sappy cliche I'd once hated and I couldn't stop swearing because sometimes that happens when I'm in shock-

But fuck all of that. She loved me.

For once I can say: "This is mine you can't take it!" As long as I've got love, I know I can make it! For once in my life, I've got someone who neeeeds meeeee!

An exaggerated groan reached my ears just as the smile tugging at my mouth broke from its restraints.

"Oh Jesus," he grunted, "Things better with Bella, I'm guessing?"

I blanched, turning towards where Quil was eyeing me with a mixture of begrudging fondness and...caution? Oh, right.

"What gave it away?"

He tilted his head. "Sinatra. What else?"

I could feel the gape in my expression. "That was out loud?"

He rolled his eyes, and then his neck; his whole body kind of mocked me, really. "Jesus, Em, if you could hear yourself sometimes. It's like someone's dad in the shower."

I'll admit I'd never really given my whole internal jukebox thingmuch thought before he'd made such a deal about it, but hey- Bella seemed to find it at least kind of endearing. I hoped. Otherwise she was just humouring me. I pressed my mouth closed.

Huh. She put up with all my other 'alternatively cool'(read: painfully geekish) stuff, though - she must have really loved me.

Fighting back another smile, I attempted to put a lockdown on my thoughts, but that image - that perfect fucking loop playing in my mind with Bella, kiss-dazed and stunning, blurting out everything she felt for me - kept sneaking back out. I couldn't help shaking my head, the odd, breathy peal of disbelieving laughter rumbling forth until it got to the point where covering it with a cough stopped working.

Quil just flopped backwards into the grass of Sam's back yard, arms outstretched, and a very human growl vibrating in his chest. I couldn't find it in me to care, really; I hadn't had a chance to be happyabout this yet. I hadn't shared what was all so new and crazy and terrifying but fantastic because everything had been shrouded in secrets. Now, The Pack knew about it all, and yeah, there was still so much crap to wade through and I hadn't really been facing up to it. I guess I'm an old hand at escapism, but... my life was trying to not suck so much.

I felt like I was high.

"Is this gonna take long?" Seth grumbled, coming into view, scrubbing a weary hand over his features.

The kid had aged about a year in the past ten days, and I obliquely wondered how the hell he was still standing upright. The stuff with Leah was bad enough - not to mention the oncoming storm barrelling our way - but he was now rooming with Paul since the guy had refused to leave the Clearwaters when Leah's blood pressure dropped overnight.

"...because I've got to hit the store before it closes, pick up Leah's meds, turn in an over-due History paper to my teacher's house, and somehow show my girlfriend that I haven't forgotten she existed over the past two weeks."

Shooting him a sympathetic look, I shrugged. "Beats me. I got a message left through my mom." That was some mature leadership right there.

Quil grinned sleazily at Seth. "Look at you, casually slipping the girlfriend into conversation like you some playa'..." The gesture he made with his hand looked suspiciously like a gang sign.

Oh fuck, he's been listening to Dr. Dre again.

It was my turn then to throw out the disapproving brow-furrows.

Seth simply sighed. "Yeah, cause that one was the secret of the century." He fixed a pointed look towards me, and I felt my chin dip involuntarily. Yeah, so there was a reason I'd barely been home in two days. It was a little too easy to forget.

Bella and I had been in a bubble, reluctant to ever leave it. Our own little slice of happiness in the middle of all the crap going on around us because, whether consciously or not, we knew there was a pretty huge chance that this was the last opportunity we'd get. There was a dread still hovering in the recesses of our time together, no matter how much we tuned it out - and we'd tried. September had become October, and Bella Duty had unofficially fallen to me exclusively since I no longer had to dream up excuses to be around her all the time.

It was made a little easier by the fact that a certain Chief-of-Police was still working all the hours he legally could - and now knew why I'd been around so much. I could practically feel my ears turning pink at the memory.

"Think I'm slow or somethin', Son?" he grunted, brows pinching irritably at me from where he was braced on the kitchen counter. I swallowed, instantly regretting the uneasiness it displayed, and threw a look back towards the stairs. Crap, how long does it take to get changed, Bella?

"Uh, no, Sir," I croaked, feeling my posture wither just a bit under his gaze, practically baring my throat to him if it meant I could keep seeing Bella with my body in tact. It was pretty ridiculous. I'd taken on my own alpha not two nights ago, but Papa-Bear Charlie Swan and his police-issue revolver had my delicate parts trying to crawl back up inside me. Shit.

"So you mean to tell me that you showed up here yesterday morning, before I got up, went home after I went to work last night, and showed up before..." he checked his watch, "...ten, this morning?"

I could feel my eyebrows make a break for my hairline as he talked, caught off-guard. My attention darted between trying to return his gaze and making sure the pan in my hand was really, really, really dry.

"Well, uh-"

"'Cause you and Bells are 'just friends'..." he said, voice elongating over the last part. His tone screamed skepticism.

My eyes widened, not sure whether to agree or lie like my life depended on it, because shouldn't Bella have been the one to break this kind of news? But in the end I just said nothing, because fuck it, he knew.

"I'd have a helluva lot more respect for you if you just admitted to staying over, kid," he baited, but I wasn't falling for it. It'd be a lie anyway. I hadn't even slept inside the house - I knew two minutes of laying down beside Bella, her scent surrounding me, her perfect skin under my hands, and an atomic bomb could have gone off in the next town without my notice. Possibly. I shook my head, and forced my gaze back to meet his. He was terrifying.

"Didn't stay here, Chief. I'm crashing in town, sure, but Bella and I..." I couldn't say we 'respected' him more than to sneak me into her bed, because, well, we'd done that. Twice. Maybe we should have been respecting his home more. It's just that, with everything else going on, sneaking around Charlie was an unnecessary burden, and my skills were better focused elsewhere. Like making sure nobody else was sneaking around Charlie.

"You... what?" he prompted with a raised brow, searching my face for a trace of lies, and I realised I'd been lost in my head. He straightened up, folding his arms, but never once broke his fixed stare.

"Look, anyone else'd be getting a flash of my holster right about now. But I can't help but notice that the times you're around coincide directly with when my little girl can string complete, coherent, mostly pleasant sentences together, and doesn't do that-" he gestured to his face, frowning, "- that far-off glare she does when something's up. So believe me, as much as I'd like to be takin' you down the shooting range and demonstrating what a great shot I still am - because I am - I'm giving you the benefit of the doubt."

A weight settled into my chest; an ache of what? I wasn't sure. Acceptance? Pride? It wasn't like my life was laden with eager father-figures, fighting each other to bestow me with manly advice or heartfelt, yet stoic, speeches - but something about Charlie made me reluctant to let him down. I realised that, as it had been for Bella, Charlie made me want to be worthy of the trust they were both showing me. Not just a good kid, like he was saying. A better man.

He scrubbed a hand over his chin and studied me, still not having been up long enough to shave. If this was just-woken-up Charlie, I felt bad for anyone he arrested when he'd had his coffee and a full stomach of breakfast.

"I guess if anything, I should be happy that it's you. Still don't know what happened with her and Jake-" he held up a halting hand when my face dropped, "Nor am I sure I really want to, since I like being friends with Billy and all. But she could have ended up with the slow one, Joy Ateara's kid? The one who had too many run-ins with the stomach-pump in kindergarten." He tilted his head and scrunched his nose, thinking, and I didn't dare interrupt.

"Or the Newton boy. All hair-gel and no brain cells. Dull as dishwater." He shook his head, breaking the line of thought and fixed his eyes on me again. "At least you seem to be pretty straight-up, and able to match her, intelligence-wise. Or did I get the wrong impression somewhere?"

It was his cop-face. Bella had talked about this.

I sighed, daring to feel flattered, but knowing that no matter how much I wanted to, I couldn't be completely honest with him. I respected the guy. Hell, I liked him, always had, but there was still so much he couldn't know. Least of all being what exactly was going on between me and his daughter.

"We didn't have permission to stay together... and you've got a pretty hefty gun collection," I hedged, feeling the quake in my voice that I hoped could be assigned to the early hour. I held his gaze without flinching, though, knowing that avoiding it would look suspicious. What I'd said was half-true, and I hoped it was what he needed to hear. Obliquely, I wondered how Bella did this so much. Lying to Charlie was exhausting.

He watched me for a beat, satisfied, before he hid a proud smirk at my reply, turning his face back out the window. He sipped his coffee. "So long as we know where we stand, Kid."

I gave him a tight nod. "Your roof, your rules." My conscience added that maybe I should keep respecting said added guilt was starting to eat me up; I wasn't fully sure I deserved to get laid for a while.

"But if you need somewhere to stay," he continued, eyeing me speculatively. "If you or that mom o' yours need a break..."

My eyes widened. He couldn't seriously be offering-

"...we got a perfectly nice couch. And a perfectly good lock on Bella's door."

My ears were practically melting off my head.

"And failing that," he said, giving a resigned sigh and this time resolutely avoiding my gaze, "Planned Parenthood's open Mondays, Wednesdays and Fridays."

Mine wasn't the only face turning puce.

"Got it, Chief," I said tightly, wishing to be any-fucking-where but that kitchen.

"Charlie, Kid. Call me Charlie," he grunted, and wandered off towards the doorway.

That was this morning, and if anything, it just cemented my desire to keep Bella safe, like Charlie would have asked if he knew what was going on. The moment I'd passed the treaty line to La Push, my skin had started vibrating. Coupled with the unease within the Pack and the unresolved tension, there was a red-headed hurricane coming. Though my life felt light years away from where it had been even a few months ago, people still needed protecting. Bella still needed it, because honestly, it was all pretty terrifying - and the last time this had played out, she'd lost someone extremely dear to her. Someone who was becoming important to me.

And she couldn't be sure it wouldn't be another one of us this time around.

It didn't take a genius to work out that, how her kisses were a little bit more forceful, the hands in my hair gripping a little tighter, and the way she refused to break eye contact as I pressed her into the cushions and explored her body with my lips was a coincidence. It was about more than just being happy we weren't still fighting.

The final walls had cracked between us, and when that barrier where our true feelings were out there, raw and exposed was torn down, well - lets just say we both had a lot more to lose. Bella was savouring me, and I'd be an idiot not to let her. Truth was, I was doing the same thing.

I was pretty sure I could draw her face from memory, could map out the scars and beauty marks on her body with satellite accuracy as if it would save my life some day. If I lost my sight tomorrow I could identify her from far away by heartbeat and touch and scent alone - but that's not exactly impressive when you've got senses like mine, I guess. It's still better to file it all away in the memory bank, though. Everything Bella was seared into my mind, tattooed irreversibly as if it hadn't been before. Just in case.

It seemed like a lot of things were coming down to that these days.

Just in case.

Maybe now, because Bella knew that I loved her, how much I loved her, it meant that being torn apart would literally destroy us even more than it would have before. But though, in either scenario, there would be little of me left worth salvaging, it'd be worse if I knew either of us would have to survive the other without hearing the truth.

At least if I died, if we were ripped apart one last time, she'd know I loved her.

Just in case.

That's why coming back to the Rez had been put on the back-burner for the last forty-eight hours. I'd learned the art of distraction from a young age, this time escaping to the comfort of Bella rather than fictional lives on a screen, and it was only when she wasn't near that I started thinking like this. Thinking like maybe I wouldn't make it back to her in one piece. Like I couldn't run fast enough, wasn't fierce enough... or I hadn't seen enough leeches in combat or this fight would be the one I'd lose. I could literally feel my shoulders slumping.

I guess sitting here with my thoughts had consumed me a little more than I'd thought, because next I looked up, almost the whole pack was here, minus Leah, who would actually be wrapped in cotton balls if some people had their way. Paul was pacing, energy vibrating in his muscles while he raked a hand absently through his hair. I hadn't seen him outside the Clearwaters' in days, and the pit of my stomach lurched at the sight of him. Though I could still find escape, bury myself in Bella until we became a single being, so close one could no longer tell the beginning and ending of the other - others couldn't. He was physically pained to be away from Leah, and it felt like looking in a muddied mirror. I couldn't watch for long.

Also absent was Collin, who I'd met on my way out of Forks, heading for the Swan's, Brady, who was probably still running the perimeter - and, thankfully, Jake.

In fact, I hadn't seen him since, well. Since.

My rib had just about managed to heal itself, after Bella spent a horrified hour gingerly touching the skin around it and asking if my left lung felt 'floppy, like a three-day-old balloon, you know?', because that's a tangible feeling. I supposed even those of us normally as astute and articulate as she was kind of lost it when worried, no matter how needlessly. Even after all this time, she still wasn't totally jaded by the werewolf thing - and this from a girl who could bend reality.

I'd left her three hours ago with a promise to be back soon, but I was already feeling it. I trusted each of my brothers implicitly when it came to duty - no matter what was going on between us all - but knowing what we did now, I had a restlessness in my bones. The wolf and I were, for once, in agreement. We needed Bella safe, and to ensure that, we needed her close.

Which is why a growl tore from my chest when my eyes found Collin, rounding the side of Sam and Emily's deck with an agitated look on his face. He made a beeline for Sam, who sat with his feet dangling off the edge of the deck, closest to the gathered imprints inside and still radiating authority like it was stained into his skin. I was on my feet and in front of Collin in an instant, spitting out demands as he babbled, wide-eyed back at me.

"No, dude, I didn't just leave her there!"

"Embry, breathe," Sam warned, eyes zeroing in on the jump of pulse on my neck. I raised a brow at the pup in front of me, undeterred. I had to know.

"She came to visit Leah," Collin was saying. "She even brought me here-"

Before he completed the sentence, the scent hit me, and my attention focused on the sound of two sets of footsteps tracing up the gravel path. One strong, determined and heavy-footed, the other in a similar stride, but not carrying even a fraction of the weight. Collin held out his hands helplessly, relieved, before scuttling off to join the ranks.

"Look, you can be an asshole all you like later on, but at least you won't be a dead asshole."

Bella.

Jacob came into view, his jaw clenched in irritation, shoulders squared and looming as Bella struggled behind him to keep in step. Her face was flushed, angry, and she was in full rant mode - brow pinched as she trained a searing gaze at the side of his face. He ignored her like an annoying buzz; barely registering on his radar, but irritating nonetheless.

"And of course you're not talking to me, that's fine, I don't even care, Jacob. But even if I'm wrong, if this whole thing is made up like you're still convincing yourself, at least those guys you're training as soldiers will have a little heads up if they do encounter some.."

Bella seemed to jolt as the Pack came into view, her steps halting while Jacob strode on and left her in his wake. She took in each face, and her mouth opened in a small gape, realising for the first time where she was. My stomach settled at the sight of her, here and safe like the wolf wanted, and my feet were forced to stay planted to the ground, though she was still too far away and distressed. I got the feeling she'd come on a mission, just allowing herself to be led here without coherently taking in where she was going. She needed to do this, whatever it was, on her own merits. The determined pinch to her expression had told me as much.

She was kind of impossible when she got an idea into her head. I kind of loved that about her.

Jacob came to a stop, catching sight of me for the first time. He still bore faint scars on his neck from our last encounter, but they were a pale white over his skin. I refused to look away, though the base instinct inside me was to instantly avert my eyes in submission. My head tilted away in reaction to his glare, fighting how much the man in me didn't want to show weakness, to recognise his hold over me as subordinate. Power still radiated from him, though, and my wolf didn't have a death wish. I knew that some part of Jacob had held back that night, or I wouldn't have been sitting here with just a few marks and aches to show for it. Jacob could have easily ended me if he wanted to. We both knew it.

The muscles in his jaw rippled as he turned back to her, folding his arms and grunting, "You have five minutes."

A flicker of surprise danced over her features before she shut it down, and her back straightened, cascade of hair thrown backwards over one shoulder. "Okay," she said quietly, nodding before her eyes found me, and a steely set came to her chin when I wandered to my previous spot and slumped on the grass, watching expectantly. "Okay."

I was still baffled, throwing her a shrug which she answered with the faintest of smiles.

"Um, well alright. You guys know the whole," she waved a hand out dismissively to the side, "story about the Newborns and me, I guess. I just wanted-" she cleared her throat, and shook her head. "I need to just tell you guys some things. I don't wanna tell you your job or anything, but before? You had training." She chewed on her lip for a beat. "...with the Cullens."

A chorus of growls rumbled through the Pack, and she held up her hands placatingly. Jacob, to his credit, let out a short, sharp whistle for order, cutting off the din immediately. Bella threw him a curious look before continuing.

"You might not believe me, whatever... but think - Leah's a good fighter, from what I hear. And those vampires really hurt her, right? They're not like the ones you know."

Paul stiffened as Seth piped up, voice wary. "How are they different?"

Her eyes found his, encouraged that someone, at least, trusted her information. I felt a swell of pride, wondering how this was the same girl who tried to tell me she wasn't strong.

"When someone gets turned, they spend three days, uh, changing. Its traumatic and painful. Some remember, some don't, but it's all the same when they wake up." Her eyes lost focus as she recalled some as-yet- untold story in her head. "They're feral. The bloodlust is worst as a newborn, and it gives them this impossible strength - even for vampires. They're stronger than any of the ones you've encountered because they can't even think straight. All they want is to feed, and they will literally stop at nothing to do it."

She looked back around, knowing that each of her audience was wondering when this speech was going to become helpful. "Jasper said it makes them deadly. but it also means that they think less. If you have a strategy, if you're smart, you can fight them."

I looked around the Pack, noticing each member hanging on her every word. Even Jacob, eyes trained on the ground, had his head tilted in interest. Whether he wanted to believe her or not, there was no denying that this was vital information.

Bella explained all she knew, recalling tips from Jasper's teaching, making a point to stress how important it was not to let one of the leeches get their arms around you. She sent a look Jacob's way at that - which he missed - but a mental image formed in my head of a nightmare, one that had tortured Bella at the time, in which the body on the ground of the clearing that day wasn't Charlie's.

Things weren't right between any of us at the moment, but I wasn't arrogant enough to think that I was the only one Bella was worried about here.

She loved us all. Even him, and if I wasn't still so disgusted with him at that moment, I might have felt okay about it.

Her five minutes bled into twenty, and Bella reached the end of her well of knowledge, standing awkwardly as the information trailed off. I smiled weakly as I stood, hating to see her look so uncomfortable and took her in my arms, kissing the top of her head. When I pulled back, I didn't miss the look shared between her and Quil. He nodded once, turning away, and she returned it, smiling softly.

"What was that about?" I asked, jerking my head towards him. Her smile widened, and she shook her head, stepping out of my grasp.

"Nothing. You have some really good friends, is all."

I threw a look towards Jacob, catching him in the act of looking away. "Right," I said evenly.

Before she could say anything else, Kim appeared at the door, flanked by Melanie.

"We thought we heard you. Get in here, Bella! Emily's threatening Bridezilla and we need a little outside influence," she smiled, and Melanie gave her an encouraging look. That one surprised me, since I'd assumed their ease with each other last week was down to the high-pressure situation, not any kind of progress. Bella didn't mention when she and Melanie had become less like awkward first wife/second wife and more like genial acquaintances. I shot her another confused look as she walked away, giving me a small wave. She never stopped surprising me.

"Alright," Jacob barked, turning his back on the house. "Out into the clearing, we don't know how much time we have."

The remaining wolves got to their feet and headed off, as I turned to the house.

"Embry," Jacob said, a warning in his tone. I bristled at it - I'm sure he saw, but I was so past his attitude that I threw a dismissive hand over my shoulder.

"I'll catch up," I replied, but didn't hear him take any steps to leave.

"Jake, come on man," Quil - thank fuck for Quil sometimes - cut in. I was already reaching for the door when I heard him give in.

Emily was sat at the kitchen table, a chaotic mound of brochures, cut-outs and swatches covering any available inch of its sizable surface. It was pretty impressive, since that table usually housed the entire pack and whichever imprints happened to be around, but there was a nervous buzz around it now, instead of the usual relaxed chaos of meal time.

"Where was the ivory centerpiece again? I need to see it!" Emily said urgently, completely embroiled in the tasks in front of her. Kim held out page from a magazine, and Emily snatched it from her hand, shaking her head. She hadn't even noticed me come in."This isn't ivory, Kim... God, how hard is it to-" she ranted, pausing for breath just as the panic in her scent became pungent. "Okay, it's fine... here it is. I got it." Her nose wrinkled. "Ugh. It's disgusting. It's completely going to clash with Sam's suit. What was I thinking?"

I raised my eyebrows towards Bella, who was straightening up from clipping together yet another stack of pictures. She threw me an exasperated look and crossed the kitchen, weaving her arms around my waist.

"I thought you had training to do?" she said, looking up at me, but the relief I detected in her voice matched my own. At least I couldn't feel too much of a sap for missing her, for succumbing to that dread for those three whole hours.

"Just wanted to say 'hey'... I couldn't really get a word in edgeways," I said, smirking down at her proudly. She dipped her head.

"I thought it was important that you guys knew as much as I did... at least if they didn't believe me, they'd have the memory of what I said."

I kissed the top of her head, feeling the inquisitive eyes of Kim on us before she schooled them away, muttering something soothing to Emily that didn't appear to be working. Melanie was making some kind of tea and shooting agitated glances over her shoulder at them both.

"So you and Melanie, huh?" I asked quietly, curiously. Bella glanced at her, and there wasn't the same awkwardness in her expression. She shrugged.

"We... talked. Last week. I guess I realised she's an actual person and not just a symbol of my shortcomings," she said honestly. I gave her a pained smile, but she twisted her fingers in my shirt, focusing her eyes there.

"So you two are friends now?"

She levelled me with a look she could only have picked up from Leah. "I think being in the same room without one of us running for the door is enough, don't you?"

I chuckled softly and buried my nose in her hair. God, that scent.

"Leah? Any change?" I asked, feeling a wave of guilt that it had taken me so long to enquire.

"She was sleeping when I got there. Her leg seems to have just stopped healing, or something. Old Quil's apparently trying to find something that can trigger that in you guys," she said, mouth curling on one side. "It's not like a band-aid and some magic cream would do any of you any good."

Her eyes darted out towards the yard, where the Pack had just been, and I could practically see the guilty wheels in her head turning. I crooked my finger under her chin. "Stop," I whispered.

She gave me a dejected little smile when she looked up. "Can't help it. They're coming here 'cause of me and I didn't even give you guys proper warning to train."

"You came today, right?" I said, and she gave a reluctant nod. "Even though I'm sure tracking down Alpha Asshole was fun for all involved."

She snorted ruefully "I thought he was just tuning me out. I guess I have to give him some credit for actually letting me speak."

I raised a brow. "Not too much..."

"Believe me, I still have a vivid memory of what a dick he is," she said, cocking her head to the side condescendingly. She leaned into my chest again, resting her cheek over my heart.

There was a few seconds of nothing between us as the volume of Emily's rambling rose again, and I lifted my chin.

"What's with the nervous breakdown?" I muttered, jerking my head towards where Emily was now ripping up a photograph.

Bella's mouth twisted as she straightened up. "Think she's scared that there may not be a wedding... so... I guess it's a distraction?"

I nodded in understanding - I knew all about those. "Just don't let her start baking. Last time Sam had to go out of state we were eating burnt lemon cookies for a week," I said with a mock-wince. Bella smirked and nodded, pulling away with a kiss.

"Duly noted. Now go - that breakdown I gave was for your benefit as much as anyone elses'," she said, eyes dipping towards the ground. "In fact, more."

My heart twisted, wishing I could give her an easy reassurance - but Bella and I were past platitudes. We'd been honest with each other and believed the truth even when it wasn't particularly sane to.

I stepped backwards out the doorway, shooting her a salute as I did and passing Sam - who was undressing to phase in - on the way. I decided to walk; I may have wanted to scream my happiness from the rooftop, but on no planet did I want to be phased with Jacob any more than was necessary. It turned out, as I approached the clearing, I shouldn't have worried. The sound of hard-edged, human voices travelled through the last thicket of trees as I made my way silently to the training ground.

"What the fuck is that supposed to mean?" Paul was saying, and I could practically picture the curve of his lip as he spoke.

"Look, I know what happened is terrible, and we all feel it, believe me, but you're no good to Leah when you're only really about forty per cent here," Jacob replied sternly. "It's fucking with the dynamic and we're already one wolf down."

There was a bitter snort then, and as Paul came into view, I saw him take a leisurely step backwards, away from Jacob. It felt like more of our Alpha's benefit than his own.

"Oh that's rich, coming from you," he scoffed. "And tell me, is your little bitch-fit over Embry fucking your ex enriching the Pack dynamic, or have I missed something?"

My steps froze, weighed down by curiosity over what Jacob was going to say next. They didn't know I was there, completely focused on each other, and Quil - still hovering off to one side warily - didn't seem to sense me either. The rest of the Pack were obviously ahead in the clearing, leaving just us behind. It was like the air around them stilled with tension.

"Excuse me?" Jacob said, voice low.

"You heard me. I may be just at - what was it you said? Forty percent?," he sneered sarcastically, head turning to the side as he looked to the trees. "But even I can see you're tearing us apart from the top down. I wonder what Great-Grandpa would think of your teenage soap opera if he's not too ashamed to watch."

"Paul-" Quil started, pinching the bridge of his nose, but Jacob cut him off.

"Last time I checked, I wasn't the one sticking his dick where it doesn't belong," Jacob said.

There was a snide clap - and cheer - from Paul as he turned on his heel, spinning around to face Jacob again. "Oh wow. Tell me, Jakey-boy, what gives you the fucking right to tell any of us where we should and should not be 'sticking our dicks'?"

There was a warning in that sentence, and Jacob was aware of it just as much as I was - if anyone had dared to criticise Paul's relationship with Leah, well, it's not like we could show them any sympathy for what happened next. It was the same as baiting a rabid dog. The result would be quick and painful, with no-one to blame but yourself.

"That's not what I meant, Lahote, and you know it."

"Oh, I know what you meant. It's not about where he's been putting it, it's the fact that you never got to check out the merchandise first," he said knowingly, and Jacob just glared. "Kills you doesn't it? You're worried that one day he'll slip up, and you're gonna see everything you never got to have because - as fucked up as the whole process is - despite the fact that you have a goddamn imprint, it still eats at you. Knowing that he gets to have something you never did. Guess what, Black. That's your fault, not his."

There was a tense silence then, as Jacob's face flickered back to indifference, knowing that showing Paul any kind of anger was as good as admitting that he was right. He shook his head, turning his face away.

"Whatever you wanna believe, man," he said wearily. "Just remember, it wasn't me who started keeping the secrets here. You know that. If Embry had been a man about it, he could have avoided all this. Shame he had to be such a fucking pussy - and a shitty excuse for a friend.."

Before I could let the anger bubble up, Quil was interrupting, giving his first real opinion on the matter since the day he found out and he tried to cover his ass.

"Whoa, man," he said walking forward with a hard set to his jaw. "I know you guys are fighting, but you can't honestly believe that."

Jacob turned, looking at him with betrayal as he did. "Yeah, actually, I do believe that. I found out about all of this by catching them kissing on her fucking front porch, reeking of each other," he snapped. "Maybe I could have gotten used to the idea if oh, I don't know, he told me about it? Around the time when he suddenly decided to fuck my ex?"

It was getting on my nerves, how much he kept referring to what Bella and I had as just sex. he couldn't have believed it, not really, after being inside my head, sensing those emotions. Despite everything, he knew us, and he knew we weren't like that.

"You don't know shit, do you?" Quil said, shaking his head in disbelief. "Dude... Embry's been in love with Bella pretty much as long as you have."

Jacob's head cocked to one side. "What the fuck are you talking about?"

"I mean, all that time you wanted her, talked about her constantly, fell harder and harder for her - so did he. And he didn't say anything."

"Because he knew she wasn't meant for him," he retorted, but Quil shook his head thoughtfully.

"No," he said softly. "No, I don't think that was the only reason." Quil's gaze darted in my direction, like he knew I was listening, but he'd somehow not managed to give it away. "I think he didn't tell you because... he loves you, man. And maybe he thought you loved him too. Enough to not go after her out of respect, and then you'd both be alone. He loved you too much for you to deprive yourself of that."

My chest clenched, and I had to look away, because that - from the mouth of one of my most idiotic, shallow and immature friends - was the truth. Sure, I'd never believed Bella would even look at a guy like me twice, but I knew Jacob had a shot, and back when we were close - when we were truly like brothers - I believed he'd give her up to keep that. With me. Now? I knew better.

I knew that the Jacob who imprinted had a possessive streak a mile wide and need for control that would make him a great alpha some day - but not a great friend.

Jacob was stock still, being watched closely as Paul shook his head disapprovingly. Quil's face was a contortion of pity and pain, and he started to walk away, having said what he needed to.

"I guess, maybe he didn't tell you sooner, because he didn't think you'd do the same for him - give her up, I mean." He looked Jacob up and down, one last time, quirking his brow in a sad, resigned, expression. "I guess he was right."

I hung back until they moved on, and tried to remind myself why I still cared that Jacob wouldn't look me in the eye. The problem was, I could remember.

A/N: So, funny story, I broke my hand. It was in plaster and it sucked and I couldn't type properly with it, so that partially explains the massive gap in updates. The other part of the explanation involves me cheating on Embry with another werewolf called Derek Hale, writing a 30k AU for that other fandom because I couldn't get back into this story after the time away, and then some very pushy Wolf Girls who I knew would be out for blood if I didn't get back into this story. So here we are. Sorry it's a little short, but there's some awesome stuff coming up (well, I think so).

Also, I kind of love Paul in this chapter.

Thoughts?