CHAPTER 12

EPOV

Of course they found me. Even without the little pixie with them. I drank in the information from their minds. Esme's thoughts of Bella in my room. Alone. She didn't seem angry at me. Carlisle's thoughts of her injuries. He thought they weren't as bad as they looked. Rose's anger at me... big surprise. The reason for the anger was different though. She was mad that I had left her. Emmett just glad to be doing something different. We're going to look for Eddie. We're going to look for Eddie. WOOHOO WE FOUND EDDIE!!!!!

The question remained what was I going to do about Bella?

Just thinking her name in my mind was painful. I wanted to run to her, hold her hand and beg her to forgive me. I would beg forever if it helped. The fact of the matter was this, Bella was in danger with me. Unless I changed her she would always be in danger. Yet I couldn't steal her soul. I thought about her words on our last night together

" I don't want my soul without you. I don't care about any of that if I can't be with you. Edward an eternity in heaven without you would be hell for me!!"

Did she truly understand what she was asking? Asking me to stop her heart. To end her life.

I needed to think and I needed to hunt. I tossed off my clothes and jumped into the water. A midnight swim was just what I needed. I swam until I reached the boat that I had allowed to drift away. I had watched the current patterns in the area and knew it wouldn't be too far away. As I started the engine I made for the mainland. After I hunted I would go back and talk to my family. I knew I couldn't stay away from my Bella for long. It had been almost 2 weeks.

I anchored the boat in a deserted harbor and went after my favorite prey. Jaguars were fierce and mean. They did not like to be stalked. I took down two within minutes and headed back to the boat. As I neared the island I saw a third boat moored there. As I pulled up to the dock the pixie stood there, hands on her hips and an expression on her face that would make grown men cry for their mommies. I tried to read her thoughts but the rage filled her mind completely.

"Where is BELLA?" she raged at me

"Home in Forks. Safe. Where she belongs." I said with a sigh.

"No she's not." she told me

"What?" I screamed, "Where is she?"

"I've been searching for her for 2 days now and she's not anywhere!!!" Alice growled at me, "What did you do?"

I didn't have time to explain. I started the boat and turned to head for the mainland. Alice jumped in with me before I could leave.

"What are you doing?" I asked her

"Helping you find Bella." she said, "Then making sure you don't mess up again before you get a wedding ring on her icy white finger."

"Alice you know I haven't decided that yet." I growled at her

"You better decide it fast! I left Paris for you. PARIS!!!!" she snarled

"Now what do you mean about Bella?" I asked, "Where is she if she isn't in Forks?"

"I don't know Edward. I can't see her at all. At first I had a few little flashes but now I have nothing!" she said quietly.

"What the hell is that supposed to mean Alice? Is she dea..." I couldn't finish the word.

"I still see you together, both of you are vampires BUT I have nothing before that. Not only that there are images in the background that I can't see."

I watched her vision with her. Bella was smiling and happy so was I. Could she really want vampire life?

"Tell me all you know Alice." I said quietly.

"Here's the sequence of events I got. You and Bella get engaged, get busy and then you leave, " she said slapping me. "Then Bella waking, sad, lonely, calling for you in her sleep, waking, lonelier, sadder and crying for you. Finally Esme and Carlisle coming."

"I know that part I got it from their thoughts." I said sadly

"Then she comes home, goes to school, gets sick, stays sick, tells Charlie she is going to the doctor. Packs her bag, gets in her truck and leaves." she says, "After that, nothing."

"So I looked for Charlie and saw him getting a message from Bella. It was her on the answering machine but I couldn't see her leaving the message. She said, " Dad, it's me Bella. The doctor says I'm fine but here's the thing I'm leaving. I can't stay in Forks anymore and be a burden on you or the Cullens. I won't be a burden on Renee or Phil either. I'll just make my own way. I love you all so much." Then she was gone."

"What??" I asked, "When was that?"

"Last Friday. I'm sorry Edward I can't see anything else. I don't know what else to tell you. If I had been watching the whole time..." she said sadly

"Alice that isn't your job. I am the one who screwed up. I left. I thought I was doing the right thing. I thought I was doing what was best for her." I told her

"Edward when are you going to learn that you can't make all her decisions for her. She is strong and she is going to be one dynamite vampire."

"How can you say that Alice when I haven't decided to change her? Who is going to change her?" I asked pained

"I can't see who Edward," she said softly, "I just see it happening."

We pulled up to the dock and moored the boat. We raced at vampire speed up to the car that Alice had rented. As we drove through the streets I called the airline and booked tickets to Seattle. Then I arranged a car to be waiting at the airport. I was going to have to start in Forks if I wanted to find her. I would find her even if I had to spend the rest of my life searching.