The characters belong to JE. I receive nothing from this, but it sure is fun.
Chapter 11
Ranger's POV
I knew that I was taking a chance last night by breaking into my Babe's apartment, but I when I saw Big Blue I couldn't stop myself. I was afraid that she would see me as Joe and welcome me with open arms. It wouldn't be the first time they got back together. The thought of Babe and Joe getting back together again rips me apart inside.
I can't explain how thrilled I was each time Babe would rub the back of her neck. I knew it meant that she could sense me even though I was trapped in Morelli's body. Stephanie doesn't realize it, but I get the same tingle each time I'm near her. That tingle has helped me find her on more than one occasion. She thinks it's the trackers that I make her carry that help me find her, but that's more so my men can find her. That tingle led me right to the cabinet that Stiva had locked her in after he kidnapped her.
I believe that our connection has brought me home from every mission since the day I met her. There have been times when I am seconds from being discovered and I can hear her voice calling out to me. I don't know if she's asking God to protect me or if it's all in my head, but she has saved my life on countless missions. I should have been dead years ago, but I'm alive and I know it's because of her.
"Joe are you listening to me?" She asked.
"Uh…could you repeat that?" I asked.
I pride myself on my ability to have self control and always being aware of my surroundings, two things that I find difficult when my Babe is near. I've lost the battle with both each time I've pulled Babe into the alley by the Bond's office. If I'm near her I have to hold her, to kiss her, to love her. There have been so many times that I've wanted to confess my feelings with no qualifiers only to have my self-control fight back and remind me that she deserves better than the life that I can offer her.
Stephanie took a deep breath and started again. "I said that last week was the last straw. I can appreciate that you show up to the scenes of my accidents because your concerned for my well-being, but Joe, we're not together anymore. You can't grab me and drag me away just because you don't like that fact that Ranger's there too. I'm not a toy for you and Ranger to fight over. I wasn't your property when we were together and I'm definitely not your property now."
"I don't recall either one of us referring to you as a toy." I replied.
"Your actions speak louder than your words. And that's saying a lot with your Italian temper. Listen, this wasn't the first time the two of you have behaved like this, but it better be the last." Babe warned and then sighed. "Joe, you need to move on. We're not together anymore and we're not getting back together. You're always claiming that you love me, but you don't. Not really anyway. When you love someone, you listen to them. You refuse to listen to me when I try to tell you what I want with my life. You don't respect me or my decisions. Face it, Joe. We want different things out of life, and I don't see that changing anytime in the near future, if ever."
I've heard Babe say that she didn't want the married life with house in the 'Burg, with the white picket fence and 2.5 kids, but I always thought that deep down she wanted that kind of life. I knew she didn't want those things right now, but I thought that eventually she would settle into the 'Burg life. I should have known by now that my Babe doesn't settle.
"What kind of different things?" I asked, refusing to get my hopes up. Deep down I knew that I was hoping that she would admit that she wanted a relationship with me. If she had the courage to admit her feeling for me to Joe, I would know that it was truly over between them.
"I've told you over and over again, but you never want to listen. First of all, I like my job. Despite the rolling in garbage, stalkers, and exploding cars; I'm a good bounty hunter. I realize that I can't be a BEA forever, but I have no intention of quitting my job for a very long time. When I get to the point I can't chase skips anymore, I still want to work in this field. I'm good at skip tracing. When I run searches for Rangeman, I can find information that most people would overlook. Lester once said my research turned up stuff that they would have missed initially. Lester said that my research saves Rangeman time and money."
Lester had told Babe the truth. Because of her research, not only has Rangeman saved time and money, but also my men have been more prepared for take downs which has cut down on injuries in the line of duty.
"Secondly," she continued. "I don't want to hurt you, but there's no other way to say this. I don't ever want to marry you, have your children, or do anything else 'Burg. I tried being married. I didn't like it, and I'm not sure that I ever want to try it again. Maybe one day far, far in the future, but definitely not anytime soon. And I don't care how many times you ask…." Babe's voice trails off to a whisper.
"You don't care how many times I ask what?" I ask.
Babe looked at me with tears rolling down her face. It was all I could do to not pull her into my lap and kiss her tears away.
"I don't care how many times that you ask me to cut Ranger out of my life…I won't do it. Never. Ranger is too important to me."
I'm important to her. I had always thought that I might be, but I have never actually heard her say the words. I knew about Morelli demands that she cut me out of her life, but she never did. I had to force my face to remain neutral. It was taking all my self control to not kiss her senseless right now. The only thing that stopped me was reminding myself that I'm in Joe's body instead of my own.
"Even though he's told you that his life doesn't lend itself to relationships? That he would never do anything stupid like marriage? Or the fact that he has two guns and a knife on him at all times and that doesn't exactly make him father material?" I asked. I've always had a tendency to say stupid things when I'm around my Babe. I've put my foot in my mouth so many times. I blame it on feeling insecure around Babe. I've always been over confident when it came to missions or Rangeman, but with Babe it's the opposite. Sure I can put up a good act, but that's all it is an act to attempt to cover up how much I love her. I once told her that she was a line item on my entertainment budget. I know, it was a stupid thing to say. As bad as that was, it still not as bad as the time I told her to go back to Morelli. I'm still kicking myself over that one.
A moment of confusion sweeps over her eyes. "How did you know about that? I never told you that Ranger said those things to me." She shook her head. "It doesn't matter. I still refuse to cut him out of my life. And I disagree with you on the father issue. He proved that when Scrogg kidnapped Julie. He loves his daughter, even if he doesn't broadcast it to everyone in Trenton."
I've always tried to hide my feelings and emotions regarding Julie, but my Babe can read me like a book. I do love my daughter; I just don't voice my feelings to protect her from people like Scrogg. I have enemies that make Scrogg look like the Easter Bunny on a sugar high. I've tried to protect my Babe the same way, although I apparently have only been able to hide my feelings from Babe since it seems that all of Trenton is aware of how I feel about her. Thanks to Stephanie's help, my daughter is at home in Miami with her mother, adoptive father, and half siblings. Julie and I have grown closer since the kidnapping. Julie and I talk once a week on a secure line. Last month she told me that she wants to go to Princeton after she graduates high school. I hope that when she moves closer we can spend more time together since I've missed out on so much of her childhood.
"I want to make sure that I understand this. You don't want the 'Burg life?" I asked.
"No, Joe. I don't."
"Then can you explain to me exactly what you do want?" I asked. It's a question that I've always wanted to ask, but never had the courage to, before today.
"I've already explained what I want career wise. As far as my personal life, I know what I want. But that's something that I need to discuss that with someone else before I discuss it with you." She explained. "Joe, the point is that you and I are not on the same page. And I don't think that we ever will be, at least not at the same time."
"And you're sure about this?" I asked.
"There is no doubt in my mind." She said, determinedly.
I couldn't hold back my smile when I said, "Proud of you, Babe."
Big mistake!
"Are you trying to be funny?" Stephanie said, narrowing her eyes at me.
"I…Uh…." I stammered.
"Was this all an act?" She demanded, jumping to her feet and placing her hands on her hips.
It only took a split second for Babe to go into what she calls full rhino mode. I'm in so much trouble. How so I explain calling her Babe. She would never believe me if I told her that I was Ranger trapped in Joe's body. She would call Rangeman and they would be all too happy to drag me to the St. Francis Hospital Psych Ward. None of my men like Morelli.
"An act?" I asked.
"Yeah, Joe. An act! You show up last night and break into my apartment! Just like Ranger! You sit in Ranger's chair and watch me sleep! Just like Ranger! You were quiet last night and this morning, never saying more than necessary! Just like Ranger! You've never fixed my coffee the way I like it, but this morning you fixed my coffee exactly like I like it! Just like Ranger does! Even your breakfast was different! It was something more like Ranger would eat. You like donuts and things dripping in fat in butter! When I told you that I never want to marry you, instead of yelling and waving your arms around, you sat there calm. Just like Ranger! And now! Now you call me Babe. Exactly like Ranger does!" Babe starts pacing back and forth. "The only thing I can't figure out is the tingling! I only get that tingle on the back of my neck when Ranger is nearby. I've never had that happen with you before last night. You and I don't have the same connection that Ranger and I do!"
"But...Babe…" Uh oh, I did it again.
Babe stopped pacing, but she's so upset that she's shaking. She points to the door and quietly says, "Get out."
My heart is breaking at the look of hurt on her face. I want to take her in my arms and explain. But I know that if someone told me they were trapped in someone else's body, I would think that they were insane.
"I…" I try again.
"Get out!" Babe yells. "Get out! Get out! Get out!" Each 'get out' becoming louder than the first.
I know that she thinks that she is yelling at Morelli, but that doesn't make her telling me to 'get out' hurt any less. Normally, if I was in my own body, all it would take would be remaining quiet and raising an eyebrow until she cooled off. I stand up and walk over to Babe's apartment door. I turned around to look at Babe one more time before walking out, shutting the door behind me.
I need to find Diesel, so he can switch Morelli and me back. As soon as I'm back in my own body, I'm going to man up and tell her that I love her. I refuse to stay quiet and possible lose the best thing that ever walked into my life. Babe is my reason for breathing.
When I reach Morelli's truck, I find a note taped to the steering wheel from Diesel. How did that get in here? The truck doors were locked.
I unfolded the note and read:
I hope that you're learning something from this experience. Be careful, if you or Morelli get killed this temporary switch will become permenant.
Diesel
Suddenly, the note disappears into thin air. I guess that shouldn't surprise me. This is Diesel we're talking about.
I have learned something from this. I always thought that I knew what Stephanie wanted. I thought that deep down she wanted a life like Morelli could provide. I can't believe how wrong I was. I wonder if she would be open to that kind of life with me. Stephanie has a way of making me want things that I never thought I would. I can imagine her holding a child with my skin tone and her curly hair and blue eyes. It gives me something to think about, but in the meantime I need to find Diesel. I can't convince Babe that it's time for our 'Someday' if I'm in Morelli's body. The only problem is that I have no idea where to start looking.
But first I better make an appearance at the Police Station. People might start asking questions if Morelli fails to show up for work.