Anyways, I wanted to write this chapter the way it is for some reason. The thought of Shunsui comforting Jushiro in some kind of was came to me and I thought it would be early to bring it out early on.

I deleted Lab Partners because I still don't feel like I'm ready to write it. And I can't do two things at once. I think updates will be faster for this story if it's the only thing I focus on. I'm trying to finish before I go off to college.

Chapter 5: When I Close My Eyes

Shunsui felt like a freight train had hit him when he woke up that Sunday after the Rukongai festival. Everyone had gotten drunk, well not the kids, although everyone suspected that Ichigo and Lisa may have had something without everyone else noticing, but who cared? Shunsui, a man known to hold his liquor very well, still had a dreadful hangover and it was a Monday. He had to work.

Groaning, he slid out of bed and headed for his bathroom, hoping that a nice hot shower could help soothe his nerves before he had to head in. The last time he came to work with a hangover Yamamoto found out and beat his ass for it and then sent him home. The time before that he made someone quit because they were so offended by the word choice Shunsui though to educate their brain and assault their ears with. Thinking about his crazy family and the craziness they caused whenever they came over, he only hoped that he didn't get out of control today.

After spending 20 minutes in the shower, he got out and realized he didn't have much time left before he had to go to work. Slipping on a baby blue dress shirt, some navy slacks and a green tie, Shunsui was never one to care what people thought about his dressing style, he grabbed his keys and wallet and headed to work.

Disoriented and somnolent he walked into the office building and felt everyone's stares on him. He didn't know what to think and they knew. An uncommon hung-over Shunsui was your tormentor and intimidator all in one. No one messed with him when he came in that state, it was better to just leave him alone for the day and let him work out his own problem.

Too bad no one told Jushiro about it…

As soon as he reached his office, Shunsui went straight to his desk and rested his head on the firm, freezing wood material. He was gifted with a few minutes of sleep, when a soft knock on the door disturb his dreams and woke him up abruptly. He rubbed his eyes but did not take his head off the desk.

"Shunsui?" Shunsui's head lifted off the desk, just a fraction, so he could look in the eyes of the man who dared to disturb him while he was in hangover mode. Sighing, after only seeing it was his assistant, he put his head back down the desk.

"Are you O.K? What's wrong? Do you need anything? Do you need me to call-."Jushiro's sentence was never finished as Shunsui slowly pick up his head, rose from his desk chair and gave Jushiro the meanest glare his eyes could produce. His anger rolling off him in waves, it was soon directed to the man standing in front of his desk.

"Why the fuck do you keep asking me so many questions? Can't you see that I'm trying to sleep here? Goodness gracious, you're fuckin' annoying me right now! Get the fuck out my office and don't come back till later on, and if you tell Yamamoto about this, I'll make sure your ass is fired on the spot." The look on Jushiro's face was unexplainable as Shunsui stared at him. Like a frightened animal trying to get away from the predator, Jushiro back up until he was back-to-back with the door. Jushiro's head was bowed down and he was shaking so fiercely, that Shunsui thought the man was having a seizure. He was surprise when Jushiro lifted his head a fraction and gave him a small smile, his hair covering the expression in his eyes.

"Excuse me." Jushiro felt for the door handle, opened it slowly and walked out, but not before bowing.

A few minutes passed by, but to Shunsui, it felt like a few lifetimes. He hadn't known that he was yelling, a thing he almost never did to others excluding his family, cause his brothers just pissed him off half the time. He felt….sorry. The man was only trying to help and what had he just done? Yelled and chased him away. Though he could see Jushiro's eyes, he could tell the man was on the verge of tears before he had excused himself.

"What the hell did I just do?" Shunsui sighed, running a hand through his long, silk like hair and then rubbing his eyes He had to go and find the man, before it was too late. Guilt is anger directed at ourselves- at what we did or did not do. He didn't know when Peter McWilliams had invaded his mind but the man was right. He was angry at himself for letting himself getting irritated at someone who was worried about him. He was frustrated with himself for not controlling his belligerence when he needed to. He needed to find Jushiro and apologize.

Running around the office was something Shunsui did not want to do but he felt the need to apologize to someone he absolutely didn't not want or mean to yell at. Asking many of his co-worker, who claimed to have seen Jushiro in a distraught mood, he found out that he had gone into the men's restroom and hadn't come out since.

Now Jushiro was a strong man when it came to losing himself in his emotions, but Shunsui yelling had brought him some memories from the past and he wasn't about to break down in front of him.

Backing away from the man, who he decided was not to be bothered with, he found himself leaning against it. Feeling for the handle and slowly turning it, he quickly apologized and left, heading to a place where he knew he could get his privacy at.

Thanking who ever was watching over him, he was grateful that no one was in there. Sliding down on the wall tile, he could feel the tears coming out of his eyes as he remembered painful events from his past.

You're so fucking nasty. I fucking hate you, Jushiro! Get the fuck out and don't ever come near me again, you fucking piece of gay trash. His first love, a guy who wasn't even gay, yelled at him.

Are you insane? You! Gay? That is something we cannot accept, Jushiro. I can't believe this! We're going to have to disown you! What will your siblings think of this when we have to tell them why the older brother, their inspiration, had to leave?| Parents, who couldn't accept their gay son, yelled at him.

You don't fuckin' see me! I'm in love with you and you don't even see that! I fuckin' hate you! But you know what, I'll make you mine and you won't ever regret it! This was supposed to be help for you but I'll turn it into much more than that! You'll always be connected to me! His ex-best friend, mother of his children because he wouldn't notice her strong feeling, yelled at him.

So what, even if he was in love with his friend. Even if he was setting a bad example. Even if he wasn't going to love her back. He was himself and wasn't about to change it for no one.

Yelling made him feel like a child who was constantly being reprimanded for doing nothing wrong. It made him feel weak and scared of what was to come. He felt himself reverting even deeper in his past, from that month long time period which had changed his life, when a loud knock came at the restroom door.

Collected himself and fixing his clothes to make himself look more presentable, he slid up the wall, head still hanging low, his snow white hair covering his face. As the door opened, he looked into the eyes of someone he was dreading to see.

In all the times someone had yelled at him...And all the times he'd run away…No one had ever come after him...Or even thought of…apologizing...

Shunsui was nervous as hell when he reached that bathroom door, knowing that Jushiro was likely to be behind it, probably in tears. He never felt this way about hurting someone's feeling and the guilt was eating him up. Just when he was about to turn around and question other people about Jushiro's whereabouts, a soft 'come in' was heard and he suddenly was thankful that he had good hearing.

Opening the door very slowly, he peaked his head and saw Jushiro standing there, head still facing the ground.

"Can I come in?" It's a public bathroom with plenty of stalls, why wouldn't he be allowed in?

There was nothing but silence and Shunsui just about stormed in when Jushiro nodded his head, signaling the O.K. Shunsui stepped in and sighed once more, this one from anxiety, as he closed the door behind him and leaned against the wall opposite from Jushiro. Taking a deep breathe, he began to talk.

"Look…I'm really sorry. I didn't mean to-"

"It's O.K." Jushiro lifted his head and startled Shunsui and they both stared at each other. Shunsui was further startled when Jushiro smiled at him. Impulse took over his body for some reason and he crossed the floor and did something he wouldn't have imagined. He hugged the man.

"I'm really, truly sorry. I didn't mean to yell. It's just that my family came over and they always leave me super stressed and I had a hangover because of Isshin and-"

"I forgive you."

"I'm sorr-" Shunsui was at a lost for words but then Jushiro started chuckling.

"You're family was at the okonomiyaki restaurant right? You and your brothers look just alike and the kids were cute. I bet you saw the twins running out of there, huh?" Dumbfounded Shunsui could only shake his head yes and then he realized that he was still hugging Jushiro and backed away hastily. Jushiro began to laugh once more, ignoring the man's sudden backward movement upon realizing what he was doing.

"Let's get out of here before people start getting suspicious."

Shunsui didn't say anything but he nodded his head and opened the door, holding it open for Jushiro, like a polite gentleman would do.

The two walked back to the office fairly quickly, with almost everyone in the office wondering what was going on between the two. With a few snickers from Kisuke and Isshin (who received a hard smack to the head) and some questioning stares from Nana and Yoruichi, the two got to Shunsui's office without any questions from any co-workers.

Shunsui closed the door behind them and they both returned to their respective desk. After a few minutes of daydreaming looks around the room, the two finally directed their eyes to each other.

"So…" Jushiro started, hoping to not upset Shunsui, " What exactly happened?"

Shunsui, not feeling the least offended, answered Jushiro's question. "My damn siblings come over every 2 weeks, that often, with their families. It's not like I mind, we try to keep in touch with each other because we all have different mothers, so we really didn't know each other when we were younger…" Shunsui then leaned back in his chair, lifted his feet up to rest on his wooden desk and then continued, "But anyways, sometimes when they come over, we get really crazy and then we end up drunk sometimes. So basically, on some Mondays, I come to work with a hangover and many people know I don't like to be bothered when I'm like that. I usually lock myself in my office. So…yea."

"Oh…" It was basically all Jushiro could say as he was presented with this information. "That's why you yelled at me?"

If only Shunsui didn't feel any worse that he did now. "Yea…I'm –"

"Stop apologizing. I already said I forgive you," Jushiro said, showing a small smile, "It's my turn to apologize. It's just that I don't like getting yelled at because of some events that happened in my life when I was younger."

Shunsui felt the need to question Jushiro statement but the said man spoke up.

"Now, we should let bygones be bygones. I want you to rest for the rest of the day. I'll handle everything and if I really need your help with something, I wake you up then. Is that fair?"

Shunsui could only nod his head as he took his feet off the desk and layed his head down. The last thing he remembered was the smile plastered on Jushiro's face.

When I close my eyes…

He didn't know how long he was sleep, but even sleeping on the desk, he could honestly say that it was one of the best slumber he had in a while. He had a dream, it wasn't really a weird one considering that he was gay, but there was a man, long snow white hair and vibrant hazel eyes. Smiling, laughing, holding and just being near each other. He didn't think anything of it, but then he soon came to realize that the other man in his dream was….

"Shunsui! Come on! Get up!"

Shunsui dreaded opening his eyes but judging by the way Jushiro's voice sounding, he deemed to be of importance. As Jushiro shook him, he rubbed his eyes and found himself face to face with….sesame seeds?

"Look at what I got you!

"What's this?"

"Well, I was thinking of something that might cheer you up and I thought about it for a long time and decide to give you something that cheers me up when I'm down. So… voila! (A/N: Hahaha! I had wala at first!) A slice of Red Bean(1) Cheesecake with Rice Cake crust! Man was it hard to find, there was only one bakery that made them." Jushiro bent down to Shunsui's level and stared right into his face.

Shunsui wasn't a real big fan of any sweets but thinking about all the possible work Jushiro had in finding, what seemed to be, a very scarce piece of cheesecake, he just picked up the fork and dug in.

He didn't know if it was the sweetness of the red beans and rice or the texture of the cheesecake, but after he took that first bite, he found that he could not stop staring at Jushiro. Jushiro was staring at him also, with an unexplainable expression on his face.

Hazelnut met Chocolate….

It is me or does Jushiro look….It has got to be this damn scrumptious, delicious, mouthwatering cake.

Shunsui was snapped out of his thoughts when he noticed how red Jushiro face was and how his hand was covering it up. Jushiro was now standing straight up and looking out of the window situated behind Shunsui's chair.

"You O.K, Jushiro." Shunsui question and was only confused when Jushiro just nodded his head.

"Um…Yea. How's the cake?"

"Best thing I've ever tasted. You've got to tell me where you got it from."

"O.K. I tell you tomorrow, I have to get home to take care of the boys. See ya."

He didn't miss the way Jushiro's eyes didn't meet his or how quickly, it seemed to him, that Jushiro left. He remember the look in Jushiro's eyes when they were close to each other, it was beggaring description. He desperately wanted to know what that man was thinking when they stared at each other like that.

It's got to be this cake…

(1) I read in myColor Bleach+: The Bleach Official Bootleg book that Jushiro's favorite food is Rice Cakes with Red Bean Paste, Soybean Flour and Sesame seeds. That's why I keep referring to it. I really want to try some Dango, Daifuku, Dorayaki and some Takoyaki. I've never had red bean paste before but I can feel myself wanting it every time I think of Jushiro.

That was a quick update, mostly because I was inspired, and that doesn't happen to often. So, this a big thanks to my readers. It makes me happy that people are liking this. I'll make sure to update faster.

Never again will I take a month break from this story, I still feel like an idiot from the last chapter.

Thanks for Reading - Kihana *^_^*

Chapter 5: When I Close My Eyes