FOR FOOLISHNESS CAN BECOME YOUR UNDOING
Have you ever cried so long that you feel that you can't cry anymore? When you feel like the stars are falling around you and shattering at your feet? I have felt this pain in my life, pain of loosing my blood innocence, pain of loosing my best friend pain and the loss of my humanity as well as the pain of loosing the one I loved and being used by another for no other reason than to warm her sheets. Yet as I sit behind my closed and bolted bathroom door I feel a pain unlike any I've ever felt in my existence. The pain of knowing what it is to be a toy for base entertainment to please others. All my life I stood up for the innocence of humanity I stood by the principle that warriors should die in battle and men, women and children who can't defend themselves should be treated with mercy.
I always believed that werewolves being the stronger race should show mercy and compassion to those not as strong as our selves. I fought so hard for that, despite everything I saw even though I saw skinned werewolf bodies and witnessed so many deaths by human hands. Now I question whether I should have, maybe everyone's right, maybe humans deserve to die as a race. To them I was thing! The bastards saw me as no more than a dancing bear on chains! They didn't give a damn about my life. I don't even understand why the Empress let me go by freeing me from those chains. Maybe she did it so she could torment me later, after all she hates me and to her it would probably be fun to make me think that she was being merciful.
I want to scream right now but my tears are stopping me, I feel so lost in my thoughts, the only things that keeping my mind at ease is the opium I'm smoking right now. I'm on a cold tile floor with my back up against the bathroom door I have a white sheet wrapped around my body for warmth, I guess this is the price I paid for having belief in others. Gabrielle leaned against the door breathing out the rich opium smoke, she was now high and she didn't care. The fact that she'd been awake all night was irrelevant and she didn't even care if it was day or night. She had no clothing to wear now, her favourite clothes had been destroyed and her cupboard was empty so she couldn't go anywhere. She was now trapped in a single room the prison around her finally complete along with her painful tears.
Demetrius eyed Gabrielle's door with it long dried symbol for heretic which had been painted in animal blood. Clearly a lot of bullying behaviour had taken place among members of staff towards Gabrielle before what had happened last night. He felt disgusted just looking at it he'd heard this mentioned by staff but Iona had passed it of as Gabrielle telling lies. Clearly Gabrielle had not lied far from it, Iona though was now in serious trouble and it was about to get worse if this was anything to go by lying to the Empress would mean a more serious punishment for sure. Lying wasn't tolerated among the warriors of any rank, but to lie to the Empress herself was considered the worst act of all. He'd never gotten on with Iona but he wouldn't wish pain on her sadly though after what she did last nigh it would mean that punishment would be given with out a doubt. She'd taken advantage of the Empress being drunk and she'd helped in the cruel show which had been vile on every level.
You wouldn't even do that to a human being so why do it to a werewolf who had done nothing wrong? He wouldn't lie at first he had disliked Gabrielle being around but over time it had become clear to him that she never caused people harm and she always followed the rules. He had begun to realize that things were going wrong when the Empress had been unkind to her that day. Now standing here he could see it was far more serious than he could ever have imagined, the Empress had treated her unkindly and Iona had no doubt told the staff about it and they'd thought that if the Empress was being unkind then it was perfectly okay for them to do the same. He was utterly disgusted by that but he'd talk the Empress about that soon enough when he was in a better mood.
He looked at the clothing in his hand which was about Gabrielle's size and complete with boots he'd have to thank Chara later as she was the one that knew what Gabrielle's size was as she'd seen her original clothing and taken records from it. He'd gone to the market early to pick up these as Thaleia had mentioned that she didn't have any other clothes another element of the bullying was that the staff hadn't given her new clothes despite that she'd requested them in her list. He turned eyeing watching as, Evadine and Thaleia walked up the hall towards him. "What are you all doing here?" Thaleia looked at the dried blood stains on the floor no doubt from Gabrielle's wound. She eyed the package in her hand which was some warm bread and cheese as well as some seed for her friend's pet bird. "I came to speak to Gabrielle I want to see if she's okay."
She eyed him. "Why are you here?" Demetrius eased up the clothes in his hand. "You said Gabrielle had no clothing I wanted to give her this and apologise for what happened last night." Evadine sneered in disgust. "I still can't believe the Empress did that it was disgusting, I mean she made her transform in front of us all and then dance around like some show animal." Demetrius breathed in deeply. "I will be speaking to the Empress regarding what happened last night, I intend to right this wrong." He eased up his hand to knock only for Thaleia to take his hand he turned slowly to her. "What?" Thaleia tried to ignore her inner embarrassment as this was the first time she'd ever touched him.
She'd always had a deep attraction to him she breathed in lowering her gaze as to avoid his as she let go off his hand gently. "Let me, I know Gabrielle better than most people I consider her my friend." Demetrius raised an eyebrow. "You two are friends?" Evadine pulled up the package in her hand which was a small rug with bird designs on it because Thaleia had said that Gabrielle liked birds. "Yeah they are both friends." Thaleia knocked on the door before speaking. "Gabrielle?" She knocked again only slightly harder. "Gabrielle I want to speak to you its Thaleia." She put her fingers on one of the double doors handles. "I'm coming in I just want to see if you're okay." She opened the doors slowly watching as they creaked open only to reveal an empty room. She stepped in side watching as the others followed her she watched as Evadine closed the door behind her. Demetrius eyed the room which hadn't been cleaned in a long while. "Why hasn't this been cleaned all royal rooms are meant to be cleaned its palace policy?" Thaleia turned eyeing him. "Because people think they can treat Gabrielle how ever they wish because she's not human, she does all her own cleaning I've seen it."
She looked down seeing blood stains on the floor, leading to the bathroom door which was closed shut the top bed sheet was missing she couldn't see Gabrielle's pet Wood Pigeon anywhere. The curtains were in tatters now on one side and the small serving of the tables had been smashed apart, she could long claw marks running up the tables face and the broken chair in the corner remained. Evadine kneeled down putting her fingers in side the claw marks which were huge her fingers could run in between them. She couldn't imagine just how much power was in those clawed hands but the fact that it was that these marks were three inches deep said a lot about Gabrielle's power in general. A power she restrained, she no doubt had a moral conscience and that was why she took out her anger on objects and never on people. Thaleia walked up to the bathroom door knocking gently. "Gabrielle, its Thaleia we just want to see if your okay, would you like to come out and talk to us?" Gabrielle breathed out the opium smoke pushing her self further up against the door, she didn't want to speak to anyone right now she felt her teeth grind together as she spoke. "Go away!"
Thaleia breathed in catching the anger in her tone. "We brought you some things Evadine got you a blanket and Demetrius has brought you some new clothes and I've got you, your breakfast and food for your pet bird." Gabrielle heard her cold laugh as it hit the air as she eyed the closed door. "Do I have to dance for them?" She eyed her pipe. "Or better yet if I don't dance you'll just bring in that bitch Iona to pull on my collar right?" Evadine blinked as she leaned closer to the door ignoring everyone's surprise over the woman's comment. "Just so you know I hate Iona and what she did to you was very wrong, we all feel sorry for you." Gabrielle breathed in her pipe. "Please spear me your pity I have enough to last a lifetime." She breathed out the rich dark smoke. "Nothing ever changes believe me." Thaleia put her things down on the bed watching as the others did the same thing. "You don't really believe that do you? I mean there's always hope and things can change." Gabrielle eyed the faint scar on her waist from where Iona had stuck her which would be fully healed by tomorrow. "Hope is an illusion you're just to naïve to realize that, one day you'll wake you and realize that it doesn't matter what you wish for or want, you just won't be able to have it. Because all your discussions are made up for you and even your destiny isn't your own."
She lowered her gaze sadly. "Even the ones you love will be taken from you and all you're left with is the ones who use you for themselves." She opened her hand looking at the gleaming bronze ring in it which had belonged to Damokles feeling the tears as they started to run down her cheeks once more. "That is the only real truth in this world." Thaleia breathed in deeply looking at the others who both looked truly concerned now she sat down next to the door. "Won't you just come out so we can see you? We care about you." Gabrielle closed her eyes for a long moment before opening them. "No, now leave me alone." Thaleia breathed in deeply. "Won't you reconsider?" Gabrielle didn't think as she smashed her fist against the door causing the whole thing to shake violently she pulled her fist away not caring as the blood ran down her knuckles. "I said leave! This is my room now get out all of you!" Thaleia breathed in painfully as she stood up clearly she'd have to try again later when Gabrielle was in a better mood.
She stepped back. "We've left your things on the bed when you come out they'll be waiting for you." She paused turning to the others. "Lets go this is her room, so lets respect her wishes." She watched as the others left the room she turned closing the double doors carefully. Demetrius put a hand on his beard this was so much worse than he'd first thought. "Is she always that deeply depressed?" Thaleia lowered her head sadly. "Most of the time yes, in all the time she's been here I've never seen her give me a genuine smile. She only smiles when it's a cold smile to others who are about to cause her pain." She shook her head. "She's never even laughed not with joy, it's only when she wants to be insulting, it's really sad."
"Thaleia oh thank the gods I've found you!"
Thaleia turned watching as Chara made her way up the hall towards her. "The Empress wants to talk to you right now." Thaleia breathed in deeply frankly she didn't want to talk to her right now but she had no choice. She turned walking up the hall only to feel Demetrius take hold of her arm she turned in surprise meeting his concerned gaze. "What is it?" Demetrius looked at the young woman as he coughed clearing his throat. "Would you like me to escort you up her study?" Thaleia breathed in deeply steadying herself before she looked up. "Yes I'd like that very much." Chara breathed in deeply eyeing her lover. "We'll just be going to the kitchen hopefully we'll catch up with you two later."
8
Gods I've been such a fool, what was I thinking? Off all the things I've done in my life this is by far the worst, I let the royals make a fool out of me, I let them use me and taunt me. They took advantage of my drinking and made me do something which was truly tyrannical. Sadly though I can't blame them I should have had the sense to stop myself but I didn't, I let my need for vengeance get in the way. I wanted Gabrielle to suffer I wanted her to be punished and I got my wish, I let her become base entertainment for the pleasure of others. My actions were not those of a noble leader but a true Conqueror. She was my prize and my fun and I enjoyed forcing her to do my bidding because I knew that she had to do what I told her to. I watching her dance, I watched Iona seriously wound her and I watched the royals mock her and one of them throw his wine at her. All through it she just did what she was told she didn't even fight it she just let it happen. It was like she expected it and had been expecting it all along because I've forced all my rules on to her and left her with no choice of her own.
Gods I wish I could turn back the clock I'd give anything to change what I did last night as I can see myself with crystal clarity doing it all over again in vivid detail. Xena took hold of her goblet drinking down the headache medicine, hoping that it would take away the pain she felt in her mind, though she knew no amount of pain killers would take away the pain in her heart. She was deserving of that pain though, she was now glad that the royals had gone back to their kingdoms because she didn't want to see most of them for a year or more if she could help it. She had been listening to rumours and the rumour was that Gabrielle had one friend in this palace and that was a servant woman by the name of Thaleia.
She'd never spoken to Thaleia though she remembered her father well he had been a brave warrior on the battle field. Her mother Fedora looked after the palace children day and night. She put her hands together she didn't expect this to go well but she needed to know everything. Iona had manipulated her last night as much as the royals and she needed to find out what the truth was. As it was clear that Iona may have been lying to her all along and Thaleia was the one person who could shed light on the truth.
She looked up as the door was opened and the young woman walked in closing the door behind her, she looked her over for a long moment before standing up from her study desk. She looked very much like her father, she had his eyes and his face, but she had her mothers dignified beauty, she lowered her gaze before speaking. "Thaleia is it?" Thaleia looked at the Empress for a long moment she'd never been in the Empress's study room before now it was rare that any of the cleaning staff at her level got invited up here. Only Ceto cleaned here as she was Empress's personal maid and the only one she trusted. She took in a deep breath trying to control her nervousness. "Yes Empress."
Xena looked at her catching the slight bitterness in her voice she knew why it was there. Gabrielle was her friend and she'd been forced to watch her suffer last night and had, had no way to help her. "I heard a rumour in the palace but I need you to clarify it for me, are you Gabrielle's friend?" Thaleia nodded looking at the taller woman in her silver plated armour. "Yes Empress I consider her my friend." Xena leaned against her desk folding her arms. "Does she consider herself to be your friend?" Thaleia narrowed her gaze. "Gabrielle allows me her company, she doesn't really let people in, she says it's because she knows what she is and she doesn't expect people to like her or even tolerant her because she's a werewolf." She felt her teeth grind together as she spoke not being able to hold back her next words. "Not that I blame her for thinking like that, as last night she clearly got the kind of treatment she's expects." Xena took in a deep breath truer words had never been spoken and to think that they were being spoken by a young woman well bellow her station and unafraid to say how she felt just forced the issue home all the harder.
She put a hand on her chin before speaking. "My actions were wrong last night and I will be putting this right." Thaleia folded her arms eyeing her. "You'll excuse my rudeness Empress but you'll do more than put this right, you will give Gabrielle her freedom, clearly she has none. She's just a prisoner in this palace she can't even leave these walls with out Iona dragging her back and beating her up." Xena turned sharply. "Iona beat her up?" Thaleia breathed in deeply trying to control her anger. "Oh yes and Gabrielle had permission to leave my mother got a note from Chara she wanted me to go to the market with her. She felt that with her I'd be protected, but Iona brought her back and burnt the note and threatened me, she told not to tell anyone that this had ever happened."
Xena felt her fist smash the table surface hard she watched as the woman flinched, she wasn't mad at her only at Iona for lying to her! She breathed in deeply turning to the young woman. "My anger is not directed at you, only at Iona, clearly she hasn't been honest with me." Thaleia looked up slightly. "A lot of people haven't been honest with you Empress." She breathed in she didn't want to be the snitch but Gabrielle deserved more than this and she was her only friend here other than her mother and she had to do what was right by her regardless of what everyone else thought. "I've seen Kalika burn Gabrielle's list with my own eyes, she's had nothing she requested in weeks no clothes, no items for personal use. They wouldn't even give her coltsfoot leaf so she can smoke in the end I got her some from the stores."
She shook her head sadly. "She's had her food put on the floor outside her room so it gets cold, her clothes aren't washed. Her room isn't cleaned ether and no one cleans her sheets she does it all herself." She lowered her gaze. "They even painted the symbol for heretic on her door in animal blood just because she chooses not to worship the Greek or Roman gods, it's still there now." She took in a deep breath. "She also had a pet bird which was hers she brought it from the market, it was a Wood Pigeon but it seems to have vanished." Xena felt her body tense gods this was even worse than she'd first feared. Gabrielle had mentioned that her pet had been killed by Iona and once again Iona had passed it off as Gabrielle lying to her when clearly she wasn't. She had put so much trust in Iona trust that clearly she didn't deserve at this point in her military career as she lacked the moral discipline that Demetrius had. Somewhere down the line Iona had seen that both her and Gabrielle didn't get on and she'd take advantage of that and used it as a means to torment Gabrielle and make her life even more miserable.
She should have realized this she should have seen it gods how could she be so stupid? She ultimately could only blame herself now for all that happened to Gabrielle in these past few weeks. She had been unkind to her and everyone had clearly picked up on it and gone out of there way to make her life less than pleasant, she was getting the same treatment as someone who was a prisoner or a slave. She looked up slightly she was now dreading the next question even more. "What does Gabrielle do with her free time?" Thaleia lowered her gaze. "She doesn't even leave her room during the day and she spends her time alone at night sitting on one of the stone lions that's where I first started talking to her." She turned to the Empress. "The really sad part is that when we first started talking, she seriously thought I just wanted something. She can't seem to fathom that anyone would like her or would want to speak to her, she thinks it's all out of pity." She shook her head sadly. "She doesn't even believe that she's a good person, it's almost like she lets herself be punished because she thinks she deserves it."
She narrowed her gaze. "The truly sad part in all this is that she's a good person she's never causes others harm despite what they have done to her. My mother has seen her with one of the palace children and she said that she was in werewolf form and that she was incredibly gentle. She was the one who pointed out that Gabrielle deserves better and at first I thought she was insane for saying that but she was right." She raised her hand. "She was right about every thing Gabrielle is a person who feels just like everyone else and deserves better than to be treated like a common slave." Xena lowered her gaze sadly she couldn't fault those words she took in a deep breath. "Have you ever seen Gabrielle be violent in all the time you've known her?" Thaleia breathed in sharply. "No she's angry and depressed but she never shows violence towards people but I have seen evidence in her room that she smashed up tables and chairs in werewolf form and one of the curtains is in tatters. I hope that no one brings fourth her violence though because the gods know I don't think anyone would stand a chance against her." Xena took in a deep painful breath before looking up. "Could you please take me to see your mother I wish to speak to her?" Thaleia lowered her head feeling a slight confusion take over. "Yes Empress." Why would the Empress want to speak to her mother? She breathed in opening the door watching as the Empress followed her.
End of part 26
Silvermoonlight