Love Struck

Chapter 183 – Death Comes A Calling

Raptor's POV

"Take the body to the morgue and leave me the fuck alone!" I ordered my friends and squad as they watched me march my way away from the Humvees.

No one would dare try and stop me.

Blood was dry all over my body. It wasn't a little...it was a lot of fucking blood. My dark gray fur was unable to be seen as I opened the doors to the base.

The newbies we got for training were just getting ready for their first day and as I walked by I glared at all of them and they shook in fear as the instructor panicked and ran for me.

"Captain!?" He shouted as he grabbed my shoulder from behind.

Immediately I swung back around getting him to back off and he stared into my eyes with a sense of death coming.

"What!?" I asked as the trainees were cowards in fear behind him.

The instructor went silent as I replied.

"Exactly! Don't ever fucking touch me again! Do you fucking understand!?" I asked him in rage as he replied.

"Yes sir!"

Looking back at the first day runners I yelled.

"Get to work!"

They panicked as I turned around to head for my quarters.

I saw Alicia as I rushed by everyone and she was shocked to say the least as I slammed my door shut.

Stopping in front of the door I looked down at my armor and basically my whole body.

"Aghhh!" I yelled as I ripped off the gear.

Down to my shirt and pants I tore off the shirt and looked down at my torso. My chest was shaking and my abs trembled as I began to feel cold. But no matter what, my fur was still covered. Smoke's blood pierced through it all and it was as if I jumped in a pool and swam for hours. It was everywhere.

In force I went to the bathroom hearing many people outside my room.

I stared at myself in the mirror as the figure of my own face became clear. It took long. It was the blood. There wasn't an area on my body that wasn't drenched in it.

As I stared into my eyes I heard my door open and shut really fast.

Someone was here but I didn't care. It was probably Alicia.

Hearing the footsteps getting closer I charged back into my room to stop at the surprise of seeing Shadow there.

We both stopped and stared at each other and for some reason all he did was look at me once. No staring. No nothing. He seemed like he didn't care. I was cracking up in my head with anger but I had to keep my cool with him here.

"What are you doing here!?" I asked in anger as he replied.

"I saw the trail that's why."

I quickly ignored the comment and went back into the bathroom.

Shadow wasn't letting up, he followed and shut the door behind him as I turned on the sink.

He watched as I splashed water on my face. We both saw all the blood going into the drain as I began to see my gray fur again.

As soon as I felt clean or numb whatever came first I grabbed a towel and began to dry myself.

As I ran the towel over my quills I looked at Shadow again and asked.

"What do you want?!"

I don't think he cared that I was yelling at him.

"To talk." He replied as I tossed the towel on the sink.

"About what!?" I asked with a quick smile.

Shadow leveled his back with the door and replied.

"About you."

"What about me!? I haven't done anything!" I stated as he replied.

"You haven't been yourself."

"What are you talking about!?" I asked as he stepped closer to me.

"Ever since I was dragged back here things have been kept from me and not only by you." He stated as I asked.

"What the fuck are you talking about!?"

Shadow got in front of me and replied.

"I'll start with the USB drive which was how any of you knew that girl was coming for the dignitary."

I lowered my head to the side as he used his finger to slide me back into his sight.

"Then lets talk about why all the sudden you shoved Smoke through a plane turbine!? Where the hell did that come from!?" Asked Shadow in a bit more fearlessness.

"The USB I stole off Reacher before he sent me packing with his boys! I had no memory of that! Hannon must have took it and went over it while I was out! I was only told when you were still recovering from before!" I replied as he asked.

"You knew about it before the party! Why didn't you tell me!?"

"It was your mother fucking birthday Shadow! I thought for one night we should be able to have fun! I'm sorry for fucking believing in that!" I replied as he looked to the side then back at me.

"And Smoke!?" He asked as I asked back.

"I just got here! How do you even know that!?"

"Hannon sent me a text on the way back! Now explain why he's dead!?" Ordered Shadow as I replied.

"He was trying to save her!" I replied as he stared into my eyes.

"Why?" He asked calmer as I replied.

"I don't fucking know! My orders were to kill her and that's what I did!"

"Then why is he dead as well!?" Asked Shadow in retaliation as I got closer to him.

"He got in the way of the mission! Plus he fucking hit me! I was in my right to have him punished!" I yelled as Shadow grabbed my arm.

"You were able to punish him but fucking killing him in that type of god damn manner just isn't who you fucking are! Are you trying to scare everyone!?" He asked in anger as I replied.

"Everyone already was scared of me! I was proving that if you get in the way of me avenging a friend that I would fucking make sure you god damn pay!" I yelled back as he lifted up my arm.

"Look!" He ordered as I glanced at my hand.

"What is this!?" He asked as I replied.

"Blood!"

"Who's blood!?" He asked louder as I screamed.

"SMOKE'S!"

"Why is it on your hands!?" He asked as I replied.

"Cause I fucking killed him!"

Instantly Shadow let my hand go as I stared at him in shock.

"This isn't the Raptor I know!" Stated Shadow as I stood in silence.

"You don't hurt friends!" He stated as I felt broken.

"Your the fucking special forces leader here for fucks sake! Act like it!" Ordered Shadow as I grabbed him by the neck pushing him into the wall.

Shadow was choking for a split second until he turned it around slamming my face into the ground under his good knee.

"CALM DOWN!" He ordered me as I tried to get free.

Shadow applied pressure as I swept out his foot sending him back first into the floor.

Immediately I got on top of him and raised my fist.

Shadow stared at me as I sent it down.

Without flinching Shadow stared at my fist as it came within inches of hitting him.

I stopped as he shouted.

"I know it's hard!"

Quickly I got off him and went back into my room.

Shadow got up and followed as I cupped my face in my hands head first into the wall.

He came behind me as I said.

"I just want this to be over with!"

Feeling his grip on my quills I listened close as he replied.

"I know! We all do but I can't have you breaking on me! And don't act like it's your fault your angry! That shit we gave you to help you survive does that!"

"That was a month ago Shadow!" I replied as I turned around.

"It will be months and years before it goes away for good! I had to take that shit when I was just a soldier back in the first war! It won't go away, it's a side effect!" He stated as I widened my eyes.

"Hannon knows it and that's why you weren't stopped when killing Smoke! Because we knew it was going to happen and you just needed to solve that urge of wanting to kill someone so that it will subside!" Stated Shadow as I stared into his red crimson eyes.

"I need you and want you to get through this! The first month was the hardest for me when I had to take it! I know I did my best but you can do better then me! I need you to do better then me!" He begged as I replied.

"It's not that easy."

"Of course its not! That's why I'm letting that outburst go with Smoke!" Stated Shadow as I asked.

"Why?"

"I don't want to lose you after losing everyone else! Ghost is dead! I have no one but you left anymore Raptor! They all died!" Replied Shadow as he now went to look away.

We went silent and soon he came back taking my shoulder.

"I need you to try and control yourself. It will be a lot easier when you get use to it, but if you let it get the better of you it will break who you really are and it will fuck you up for good." Stated Shadow as I replied.

"Ok...I'll try Shadow."

Shadow looked at me in confidence as I asked.

"What should I do?"

Shadow took a breath and replied.

"Get a shower first then I think you should talk to your girlfriend."

I widened my eyes and replied.

"What!?"

"You know who. Alicia already told me." Shadow replied as I lowered my head in embarrassment.

Gently Shadow felt my arm.

I looked up and he said.

"Don't be embarrassed. You have a great girl there. I will admit I didn't think you liked cross species, but all the same I wish you two the best of luck. And hey Silver has sex with a cat! I think you and a wolf will work out much better!" Stated Shadow as I smiled.

"Thanks." I smiled in happiness as he smiled back.

"Go get clean then come see me when your done with Alicia, ok?" He asked as I replied.

"Ok."

Shadow smiled and hit my arm as he went for the door.

I watched as he left leaving me alone. People remained outside my door as I locked it tight.

As I now enjoyed the peace and quiet I went to go get clean.

Shadow's POV

I went back to my room and sat down on the bed.

I knew there was a lot to do, but for the past three nights I had no sleep. I have to rest before I can take anymore.

Gently I shut my eyes and drifted off in hopes of getting away.

To bad I was wrong.

"Shadow? Oh Shadow? Wake up killer! Someone wants to say hi!"

I opened my eyes to see Ghost.

I'm confused trust me this far in. I'm trying my best to get everything back on track.