Ch.6- Questions and similarities of the past
* Skip to after season 3 episode 14 (Angel in darkness) *
The hum of the TV turning on and the volume going from high to low wakes me up from my sleep. Instead of opening my eyes, I keep them closed and just listen to the sounds around me. As I listen to the sounds around me, I notice that my head is resting on something soft and almost fluffy, like a pillow, and I feel a warm blanket covering my body, which makes me not really want to move. The seat on the couch, next to my head, dips down a little bit and I know that someone has decided to sit down on the couch to watch TV. I stay quiet and let my breathing stay slow as if I were still asleep, noticing that the sound of the TV seems to be playing some kind of show that sounded like the show known as Space Hero, but it wasn't even turned on for five minutes when Space Hero switched over to what sounded like Days of Our Lives.
I opened up my eyes a tiny bit, only to be able to see who was awake already, when I noticed that Leonardo was the one to sit down next to my head, but it was Master Splinter who was the one to steal the remote and change the TV show channel, giving his adoptive son a look that seemed to test Leonardo. Leo only gave his master and loving father a sigh of defeat, making Master Splinter raise his eyebrows for a brief second. Master Splinter's padded paws move to be by my feet and he sits down. I quickly close my eyes and decide to listen in on the conversation, pretending to still be asleep. I feel eyes burning a stare into me for a few seconds before they move away from me.
"I'm glad to see you awake nice and early in the morning, Leonardo. Although it seems as though you are awake earlier then normal. Is something troubling you, my son?"Splinter asks Leo, trying to make small chat as well as trying to be a loving father figure. There is a few minutes of silence, as though Leo isn't going to answer, but then he speaks.
"I suppose a lot has been on my mind lately, Master. Yesterday, Mikey and myself met and helped a guy named Nobody get his life back together after someone named Ruffington took it away from him. We saw Ruffington and Hun working together, which means that the Shredder is up to something huge; to be honest, it has me worried. We also ran into and defeated Mr. Touch and Go, while Nobody defeated Ruffington and we never did hear back from Nobody." Leo explains and then remains quiet.
"So that is why you and Michelangelo were extremely tired, I can only assume Raphael and Donatello were playing video games all night." Splinter says with a sigh.
"Although I feel as though there is something else that is troubling you." Splinter continues. No noise is heard, but I can only guess that Leo has nodded his head in an answer. I hear him take a deep breath followed by a worried and troubled filled sigh.
"What is it, Leonard?"Splinter questions him and Leo is quiet for a few minutes as he contemplates what to say and how to word everything in the right way.
"It's just that I don't know what to feel about or towards Angel, especially after what happened with her yesterday. I feel as though I shouldn't fully trust her because we barely know her and she hasn't really revealed anything to us."Leo says, finally after a few minutes and if my eyes were open, they would be wide. I just don't want them to get too attached to me and vice versa. Master Splinter is about to reply to him, but a different voice cuts him off before he can get a single word out.
"You shouldn't be so quick to judge, Leo. Just because she knows about our history doesn't make her a direct threat to us."Raph's voice says, filling the silent filled room. You could almost feel the tension between the two brothers start to form, but it wouldn't turn into a huge fight with Master Splinter in the room.
"Unfortunately, Raph is right Leo. We shouldn't judge her based on her knowledge of us and our little knowledge of her."Donnie's voice is followed after Raph's and you could almost hear a teasing tone to it, as if he was teasing Raph secretly. It seems like almost everyone is waking up now.
"Yeah, I mean the dudette seems pretty great to me."Mikey comments and I can hear the almost laughter in his voice.
"How can you be so certain and not judge her?"Leo questions, his voice making the question seem more like a demand.
"My son, we can be certain and not judge because little by little she has opened up to us. She has told us about her life, even if she hasn't gone into full details, which means that she is trusting us little by little."Master Splinter explains and silence once again fills the room.
"She will tell us in her own time and when she is ready. We may not enjoy the wait, but it's the least we can do after she has helped us countless times and she made us home-made pizza."Mikey comments, which surprises me and possibly the others as well.
"She has gone through a lot based off of what she said to me and I respect her, which is why I'm respecting her privacy in not telling you guys what she said to me."Raph says and the room is quiet as the turtles think about what was said.
Maybe, I should open up and tell them about my past? It's the least I could do for them. Then if I'm not accepted by them, I can leave and go back to protecting them from the side line; making sure not to tell the Shredder nothing about them or my knowledge of them. I slowly stretch out my body and yawn, fluttering my eyelashes as I pretend to have just woken up. I slowly sit up into a sitting position, looking down and noticing that I'm still wearing a sports bra and sweat pants. I quickly grip the blanket around me, making sure that it keeps most of my body covered from them seeing my scars, as my back straightens up into a sitting position.
I open my eyes more and pretend to just notice everyone up, my eyes widening sightly. I notice that both Leonardo and Master Splinter are sitting on the couch that I am on. I notice that Mikey, Raph, and Donatello are in the kitchen, sitting on stools that are facing towards the living room. I give Master Splinter and the turtle brothers a confused look as if to ask what is happening and they realize that I'm awake as their eyes fill with slight surprise. A crash sound is heard by one of the doors leading to the outside world, making me and everyone else jump slightly, as we all snap our heads over the noise; only to realize that it was just Casey running into some bamboo sticks and April looking apologetic.
"Ha ha, opps. Sorry guys." Casey says nervously, as he rubs the back of his neck and April sends him a glare. Everyone else just roll their eyes at his behaviour as if its his normal behaviour for him to being that.
"Casey, April! What are you guys doing here?" Leo asks them, as he looks over at them, getting off the couch and I let out a small breath of relief.
"We just came by to visit with you guys and to see how Angel is." Casey replies back to him and I decide to get up from the couch. I turn towards April and Casey, smiling at them.
"I'm doing well. Thanks for asking." I reply to them and they nod their heads.
I can see them and the others widen their eyes, just noticing what I am wearing and out of instinct I pull the blanket tighter around me, even though I know that most of my scars are on my back and the other ones over my front and arms are really faded.
"That's good to hear. Did all the clothes fit you?" April asks me, filling the awkward silence. My eyes widen slightly and I debate telling her the truth or lying to her.
"Actually, I haven't gone through the entire bag yet, since yesterday I was only able to try on these sweatpants before my little episode happened. I'm so sorry about that by the way." I explain to them, sounding apologetic and slightly panicked near the end of my sentence. I move myself away from my seat on the couch and move to lean against the back of the couch instead, the blanket dragging on the floor. April nods her head in understanding.
"Oh, that's alright. Speaking of that, if you don't mind me asking, what exactly happened? Why did you have a little episode?"April questions me, her voice is soft as if she is coaxing the answer out of me; like what an older sister would do with a younger sister. I shift my weight from one foot to the other foot, nervously. Up until last night with Raphael and even before I met the turtles, Master Splinter, Casey and April, I have always kept my memories and past to myself and haven't really told anyone anything except a few times, which resulted in something bad happening. I take a deep breath in, slowly calming myself down as I feel myself shake slightly.
"You don't have to tell us if you aren't ready to. We can understand that, if you don't want to talk about it." April reassures me, and I smile at her in appreciation.
"No, no. I want to tell you guys the truth. It's the least that I could do for you guys." I say and everyone nods their heads. Everyone sort of crowds around me, waiting for me to tell them all the secrets that I have kept bottled up inside me that will escape finally after all these years. I take another calm breath, turn my head towards Casey, and then open my mouth to speak again.
"Casey, do you happen to know a girl by the name of Angel, by any chance?" I ask him. His eyes widen, but they aren't the only ones that seem to have grown wider.
"Y-Yeah, s-she's a friend that we recently helped out. I had promised her grandma that I would keep an eye on her and keep her out of trouble, but the stupid purple dragons tried to initiate her into their gang." Casey says to me, growling after he had finished speaking. His eyes blazing with hot anger. April and the guys, except Casey, laugh nervously.
"Although, it's a good thing that we didn't let that happen, right Casey?"Raphael comments to him, clapping a hand on one of Casey's broad shoulders, which knocks Casey back into reality, enough to calm him down.
"So how exactly do you know Angel?" One person questions me.
"How exactly does she fit in with your little episode from yesterday?"Another person fires at me and I take another calm breath, trying not to panic.
"Hold on guys. Give her a moment and then let her speak." April commands the guys and they calm down, shutting their mouths and patiently waiting for me to speak again without interruptions.
"Thank-you, April. Anyways, I guess you could say that Angel and I are acquaintances, or rather friends of sorts. We ran into each other a few times on the streets. I tried to warn her about the purple dragon gang, but it seems she that she took it lightly instead of the opposite." I say to them, letting out an exasperated sigh.
"But how do you know about the purple dragons gang?" Casey questions me and I give him and the rest of the group a small, sad smile as my memories of my past threaten to flash across my mind again, like they have in the previous years since each event occurred. I take a deep breath and then answer his question.
"Let's just say that Angel wasn't the only one that the dragons have tried to initiate into their gang. They tried to get me to join as well." I explain more to them and after saying that I feel a small lift of the weight that I've been carrying for a long time. I let out another sigh, debating with myself once more on how much I should say to them.
My past has always been something that I've kept secret and have kept it in the dark for the longest time, away from anyone that I've come to know. Whenever there has been times that it has been brought up, I've always felt the pain and hurt from every memory that I could recall or remember, then I would make up an excuse and change the topic. I don't want others to feel or be able to see the pain I've been through and have had to suffer with, but at the same time, I'm sick of handling everything on my own. What to do, what to do and say indeed...