Disclaimer: As always, I own no part of SOA. All characters and settings belong to Kurt Sutter / Sutter Ink. However, those characters that are a living breathing product of my imagination belong solely to me.
Chapter 10
Amanda drove around town aimlessly for about an hour or so after dropping Rachael off at school. She could not believe how angry and rattled she was after one thirty second phone call. Looking back she wondered how she could have ever thought things would work out between her and Dean. If she had listened to her first instincts, none of this would be happening now. Sitting at a red-light, his words running through her mind, made her skin crawl.
"This is silly," she thought I can't let him control the rest of my life. I'm free of him and my dad. I'm going to make my life here in Charming." With that thought in mind, she decided to use the day moving forward in the right direction.
Tellar House 4:45p.m. (Same day):
Amanda picked Rachael up from school. Together they went to the market and picked up a few things to make home-made pizzas for dinner. Walking into the house, the girls turned on the radio, and started for the kitchen. Rachael dug out cookie sheets for the pizzas, while Amanda unpacked their grocery bags. Singing and dancing around the room, Rachael got as much sauce on her clothes as she did the pizza crust. Grabbing her phone from the counter, Amanda couldn't resist snapping a couple of pictures of her young friend having so much fun. Topping their pizzas with cheese, pepperoni, and pineapple, the girls danced and sang at the top of their lungs waiting for their dinner to bake. Laughing till they were crying and their sides ached, the girls collapsed on the couch. At that moment, Tara unlocked the front door and entered the house.
Tara was pleased with the obvious fun her daughter and Amanda were having. "Hello ladies," she called as she kicked off her shoes and dropped her bag right inside the front closet. Rachael jumped from the couch and raced to hug her mom. Talking with rapidness of youth, Rachael sat about filling her mom in on her day. Suddenly Rachael raced to her bedroom to retrieve her backpack. Coming back to the living room, Rachael flopped down next to mom. Digging around in her backpack, Rachael produced a pink piece of paper. "Mom, Ms. Crandall sent home the permission slip for next Friday's field trip to the Art museum. It's ok, that I go – right?" asked a hopeful Rachael. Tara smiled indulgingly at her baby girl, "I don't see why you shouldn't go. Leave your permission slip on the kitchen table and I will sign it for you in the morning before school."
Rachael raced to do as her mom asked. As she re-entered the living room Tara questioned whether or not Rachael had finished her homework. Rachael hummed and hawed about it, before finally collecting her bag and heading to her room to finish her math homework. Without Rachael, the room settled into a comfortable quiet. "So" Tara began, "How do you like the new apartment? Is everything working out with you and Katie?"
Amanda grinned, "The last few weeks have been great, Tara, I cannot thank you enough for suggesting me and Katie roommate together." Growing quiet, Amanda decided to push forward and just ask what was on her mind. "Tara can I ask you a personal question?" Tara was a little surprised by the curious but thoughtful expression on the younger woman's face. Before Amanda could say anything further, Jax, Abel, and Chibbs walked in the front door.
"Hey darlin'" whispered Jax as he leaned over and kissed his wife hello. Chibbs smiled "Ladies," Amanda smiled up at Chibbs from her perch on the couch. While her heart may always belong to Abel, she was only human. As such she love Chibbs' sexy Scottish brogue. Coming in the door last, Abel could feel Amanda's presence before he ever laid eyes on her. While he would never admit it, her mere presence made a lousy shitty day better.
Years of marriage had taught Tara to recognize the signs. She knew without a word from her husband that something was wrong. Standing from the couch, Tara followed Jax down the hall to their bedroom. Sitting on the edge of the bed Tara watched as Jax searched for something in the closet. "Jax, is there anything I can do?" Finding what he was searching for, Jax turned to face is wife. "There's nothing to worry about darlin' just in the middle of shit with this Mayan deal. It's probably going to be a very long night."
Moving to stand in front of her husband, Tara placed her hands his chest, sliding up his shoulders and around his neck. Pulling him into a soft loving kiss, "Be safe baby," she whispered "Your family will be right here waiting when it's all over." Smiling down at his beautiful wife, Jax wondered not for the first time exactly what he did to deserve such an amazing wife. "I love you Tara." Jax whispered as he pulled in tight kissing her long and deep – stopping just before they were both breathless. Tara smiled wickedly "Hurry home!"
Jax stopped outside Rachael's room sticking his head inside he watched his daughter sitting on her bed. Deep in thought, Rachael drummed her pencil against her math book – keeping an offbeat rhythm to the music of her I-Pod. Seeing her dad, Rachael beamed "Hey Dad!" Rachael removed her headphones as Jax sat on the edge of the bed. Tara loved to watch Jax interact with their children. The outside world may see him as an outlaw biker, but she knew the man inside – the man who loved his family and would do anything for their happiness. Telling Rachael that he needed to go out for a while with Abel and "Uncle" Chibbs, but he promised that he would check in on her when he got home later.
Jax and Tara re-entered the living room to the familiar sounds of Scottish brogue spinning a tale tall. Amanda was laughing, Abel was rolling his eyes, and Chibbs continued on despite them both. Moving to the couch, Jax dropped down next to Amanda putting his arm around her shoulders in a fatherly gesture he smirked "You're not buying any of this crap are you?" Amanda clasped his hand-resting against her shoulder "Not a word of it" she giggled. Chibbs cast a wounded grin. Turning to Abel, he flashed a devilish grin "Smart lass you got there Abel boy." Moving towards the door, Jax kissed his wife once more before heading out to his bike. Walking outside with Jax and Chibbs, Tara gave Abel and Amanda a moment's privacy.
Taking Amanda's hand Abel pulled her to her feet. Watching her intently, he was suddenly at a loss for words. He bruises clearing; he could clearly see her beautiful hazel/brown eyes. Through the open front door Jax shouted "Abel get your ass moving son!" Amanda laughed "You should go – don't keep your dad waiting."
Abel just shrugged "He can wait a minute" he sighed. Giving into impulse Abel framed her face between his hands, smiled, "It's going to be a long night" he sighed with a deep weariness. Sensing something was a little off Amanda worried. Thinking quickly she placed her hands on top of his and looked into his deep blue eyes. "Why don't I head over to the clubhouse, I'll hang out in your dorm. When the night ends, come find me will talk."
Abel shouldn't have been surprised, Amanda always seemed to know just what he needed – just what to saw and when. Letting her go, he kissed her cheek, "I appreciate it darlin' but I don't know how long I'll be. There's no sense you waiting up for me if you don't have to."
Amanda chuckled "did I say anything about waiting up – there is still a bed in your dorm room right? If I get sleepy I'll crash and you can wake me when you get in." Before Abel could respond any further, he heard Chibbs this time "Hey Abel – we're waiting!"
"Get going!" teased Amanda, "We'll talk later," she smiled as Abel kissed her forehead touching her cheek one last time before running for the door.
Tara silently watched the exchange from the doorway. She wondered if either of them was being honest with themselves. "Young love" she thought to herself, both her son and Amanda reminded her so much of her and Jax at that age. Amanda seemed a little softer around the edges, maybe a tad tenderer than Tara. In no way did Tara think that was going to stop Amanda from being a strong old lady. She could see the love and devotion in her eyes every time she looked at Abel. As long as she was with Abel, Tara didn't think there was anything Amanda couldn't handle. Her son was too much like his father, he would need to tell Amanda everything. "Full disclosure" as Gemma had once suggested to her. Tara did not know the whole story behind Tacoma, but she sensed the girl was still surviving in her own personal hell. Amanda may not know it yet, but she was stronger than she gave herself credit for. She wondered if she were the only one who could see it. Did Abel have any clue how his best friend really looked at him? "Probably not," thought Tara with a bemused giggle. She loved her son deeply, but when it came to women, Amanda in particular, she accepted that he was clueless. Abel stopped in the doorway kissing his mom's cheek, giving her a quick hug, before continuing his run out to meet his dad and Chibbs in the driveway.
Feeling a bit like Gemma at the moment, Tara waited till the guys had left before she spoke. "Amanda," she began quietly "My son may not notice it, but I do, I see the way you look at him" stated Tara with a quiet motherly calm. Amanda was a little taken aback by the comment. She wasn't sure what to say. She had always thought of Jax and Tara as family, as the parents she would have chosen for herself. She couldn't love Tommy and Rachael more if they were own brother and sister, hell her own two children. What was she going to say to Tara now? Sensing the younger woman's discomfort Tara broke the silence.
"It's ok you know, I'm glad that Abel has you in his life," Tara began. Amanda started to interrupt, "Let me finish" Tara came back. "I think that you and my son could be good for each other. That said, Charming as much as I sometimes hate to admit it is Abel's home, this is where he wants to be. You have to be sure that this is where "you" want to be. I saw what you're moving to Tacoma did to Abel four years ago. I never want to see my son feel that way again."
Amanda smiled she hoped that someday she would be the kind of loving protective mother Tara was. "Tara you must know how very deeply I care about Abel – hell all of you. I would never do anything to intentionally hurt Abel or any of you. I don't know what you think see when I look at Abel, but I'm pretty sure Abel doesn't feel the same about me" the last of Amanda's words coming out almost a long sigh.
Tara smiled ruefully; Amanda was almost as clueless as her son. Gesturing towards the sofa, "Sit down a minute," instructed Tara. Curious Amanda took a seat on the sofa and waited for Tara to begin. Sitting down next to her – Tara chose her words carefully. "Amanda she began, whether my son realizes it or not he cares about you very much – reminds me a lot of his dad and me actually. I won't lie to you; a life with Abel means a life with the club. It hasn't always been an easy life, but I wouldn't trade my life with Jax and my family for anything else on earth. If you and Abel decide to make this work, there is one thing you should think about – full disclosure," Tara told her matter of factly.
"Full disclosure," Amanda repeated "I don't think I'm following you Tara." Tara chose her next words very carefully. "My son is very much like his father, he needs a woman he can really talk to; a woman he can share all aspects of SAMCRO life with. Now I could be way off base here, and if I am I'm sorry, but I don't see you being happy unless he talks to you, if he's not sharing with you – you're going to feel shut out of a huge part of his life and possibly grow to resent it. Full-disclosure it's the only way I see this working." Amanda stood from the couch, watching Tara with careful eyes. "Well…"
Tara stood taking her hand "Just think about what I said," she smiled comfortingly. "Now I heard you say something about waiting for my son back at the clubhouse. It's getting late, grab your things and get your butt over there missy!" Scolded Tara in here best I'm the mom don't mess me with voice.
"Yes Ma'am" laughed Amanda as she gave Tara a mock salute. Grabbing her things, Amanda headed for the door. Turning one last time she reached out and hugged Tara tight. Without too much thought Amanda whispered "Thanks Mom," and with that she was off and out the door.
Amanda dumped her things into the passenger seat, turned on the radio, and headed out for TM. She was lost in thought. As she drove, her mind replayed her conversation with Tara over and over again. Driving almost on auto-pilot, Amanda never saw the large SUV that had dropped in behind her. She was totally unprepared when the larger vehicle slammed into her. Freighted she attempted to speed up; put some distance between her and bigger vehicle. She was slammed a second time. Completely afraid, Amanda began reaching blindly for her cell phone; intent on calling for help. It was then she felt her truck slammed a final time. Her truck could not withstand the abuse any longer; she was forced from the road. Amanda struggled in vain to maintain control of the old Ford, but it was no use. She felt it the minute the truck skidded; she knew she was going to roll over. Screaming Amanda did what she could to brace for what was coming. She felt the truck shutter as it began to roll over. Through God's grace, Amanda and the truck only rolled one time before coming to a violent rest on all four tires.
The larger SUV watched the accident with a fiendish glee before speeding off into the night. Concerned passerby's stopped several frantically phoning 911 from their cell phones.
A/N compared to the others, this chapter did not come easy for me. It was difficult to write at best. I'm still not sure how I feel about it.