ABSOLUTION AND DISSOLUTION

How strange it is that I find myself looking at Gabrielle's door the one that separates our rooms, I feel bad for last night I must have really hurt her feelings. I've not seen her look so hurt since the time I paraded her around in front of the royals some time back. Now that I think about it, it never occurred to me to ask about werewolf children. She said there were werewolf children before but I never bothered to ask if those who get turned can produce children. Maybe they can't or maybe Gabrielle like me has problems with conception. I've had problems with conception for years it seems no matter what I do or what remedies I try it does nothing.

I've even brought in a gladiator to have sex with me and still nothing works, it's deeply frustrating. The gods have clearly cursed me in that respect it's not public yet but I always fear it may be become public and then I know I'll be in trouble. As any of my enemies will see it as my weakness that I can't conceive and as soon as I get older they'll attack me for both my land and my throne. I am the first Empress of Greece the first true ruler in a sense and in becoming the first I have inevitably paved the way for an Emperor or Empress from my blood line to follow in my steps and seat my throne. I realize now why powerful people in Rome have been murdered by there own loyal subjects, the need for power can be very additive to some and there are those who will do anything to gain it.

It is no different for those at the very top, though I confess in Rome I was never the one who they wanted to kill it was always Julius Caesar as he was the Emperor, I was just his wife regardless of my skills and how popular I was among his people. Although he betrayed me I've come to understand why on those many nights when we were alone together why he talked so much about the snakes behind every door. He always referred to assassins as snakes and I can see why, he said that assassins can get very close and you don't even see them. Just as you don't see a snake when it's close to your feet and you look down to late and it strikes. It can be hard and you get moments where you're trying to see them but you can't yet you know they are there. That is in essence the price you pay of being a leader as there will always be those who seek to destroy all you've worked so hard to achieve.

Xena put down her quill as she finished writing the first section of the scroll which would end of the werewolf hunting law permanently as well as give werewolves equal rights. She took a long drink from her goblet finishing the warm green tea she eyed her empty breakfast plate as she got up walking over to the door which separated her room and Gabrielle's. She breathed in knocking on the door waiting for a reply, she was about to knock again only to stop as the door was opened by Thaleia who gave her a wide smile as she spoke. "Good morning Empress." Thaleia stepped back as the taller woman walked in to the room, she closed the door behind her then walked over picking up Gabrielle's dirty clothing which needed cleaning.

She looked up slightly. "How can I help you?" Xena looked up slightly. "Is Gabrielle around?" Thaleia felt her smile widen. "Yes she's in her workshop I think she's working on a new project, she was up before I came in." Xena nodded as she moved towards the closed door to Gabrielle's work room. "Thank you Thaleia." Thaleia smiled as she opened the door which led to the hall. "You're welcome Empress." Xena watched as she closed the door behind her, she walked up to Gabrielle workshop door tapping gently on it with her fist. "Gabrielle?"

"Come in."

Xena slowly opened the door watching as the blonde haired woman came in to view she was leaning over her desk sketching a vivid image she had her pipe in her mouth and was focused on her task. Xena moved a step closer. "What are you making?" Gabrielle eyed the intricate sketch of Ouroboros which would be a wooden symbol which would go outside on her door. She'd made one like it back in the Grand City but she'd never been happy with it and had always wanted to improve on it and make it bigger and more deeply detailed. She breathed out the smoke from her pipe. "It's a symbol of my goddess I want it to go on my rooms outside door." Xena looked at the beautiful sketch she could see the sketches for the griffin carvings lying close by. "It looks fascinating."

Gabrielle eyed her design. "It needs work." Xena raised an eyebrow walking over to her desk so she was behind the younger woman's chair eyeing the sketch she could see measurements and groves for the three wooden sections which would slot together. "How so it looks perfect to me?" Gabrielle eyed the head piece. "The head needs to be in two sections one just won't work." Xena leaned closer in truth she didn't know much about carpentry but Gabrielle clearly did. She breathed in feeling the need to change the subject as she stood up fully. "I'm sorry about what I said last night about you being a mother I meant no offence to you." Gabrielle put down her drawing quill as she looked up. "I wasn't offended."

Xena eased up a hand. "But you looked hurt." Gabrielle breathed in her pipe. "Look you didn't offend me Xena, I was just tired." Xena looked at her for a long moment. "Can human's who have become werewolves have children?" Gabrielle breathed out the smoke from her pipe. "Yes." Xena put her hands together. "So you can have children?" Gabrielle looked at the taller woman for a long moment. "Yes I can." Xena watched as she breathed in her pipe hearing the silence fill the air. She look in a deep breath before speaking again as her curiosity got the better of her. "Can humans have children with werewolves I'm asking because you never said anything regarding the subject?"

Gabrielle breathed out the smoke from her pipe. "Oh they can in fact I even met one who liked a human man a lot, so much so that she got her ears ripped for it. Her name was Iris, unlike me the Imperial Council had made her a builder." Xena slowly sat herself down on the chair opposite pulling it up so she was close to Gabrielle. "I had no idea that the Imperial Council altered the lives of people so much." Gabrielle eased the pipe out of her mouth as she turned her chair around to face the other woman. She breathed out the smoke before turning to meet her light blue gaze. "Yes they do but when I met Iris at the time I had no idea how much control they had, I was young and new to the Grand City, to me my new life was just starting."

8

Gabrielle walked up the long corridor adjusting her armour she had been here three weeks now and she still couldn't get used to the adjustable bronze plating. Her leather armour had never had any adjusting parts she'd had, had to take it off to transform. While this on the other hand adjusted to fit her chest area when fully transformed. It also meant that she could keep her swords on her waist in her werewolf form rather than having to hide them. She'd been given a bigger room with much more space she was now allowed to have nice things like bronze tankards and she had much more free time than before. She could amuse herself by going to the market and do shopping the Grand City was massive compared to the one she'd trained in. It was ten levels deep and it was apparently the oldest off all the werewolf cities, it had been built after the death of King Lycaon who the first Horn Hind had killed in battle or at least that's what the scrolls said. Having off duty time allowed her to spend time in the library. During her time in the other city she'd been taught to read the werewolf language which was a very complicated form of Greek.

It had the same amount of letter as the Thracian dialect but the writing of each letter was very different, as was the sound when spoken. It had taken her five months back in the old city to pick it as she struggled with how it was spoken she'd had less trouble with writing it. This written language was never shared with humans to do so was a crime punishable by death. The Imperial Council believed that the language had to be protected at all costs. She breathed in tapping her clawed foot on the floor as she went through the night market the city had one market during the day as well for those on the day shift, her shift was now over and she just wanted to get back to her living space.

So far she'd done nothing but guard and petrol the forest above with seven others from her unit making sure that no one found the city. If they got to close she had to kill them if they were warriors and scare them away if they were not warriors. Damokles was happy with her process and that was all that mattered at the end of the day, in her view he was a thoughtful and respectable man and she liked his company. He was her commander though and she preferred to keep herself she herself though she wouldn't lie he was attractive, but then so were a lot of people here. There was a lot of choice when it came to men and women, though frankly since being here she hadn't really been in the mood for sleeping with people unlike the other recruits. It had been a leaning experience in the other city and had helped her comes to terms with her sexuality and confirmed that she liked both genders, but now she wanted something more than sex.

Maybe a friendship in part she shook her head only to stop as she caught sight of a young female werewolf sitting on the flat stone which was in the centre of the market, it was used for punishments like floggings and ear tearing. A werewolf's ears if ripped took years to heal it was like a weak point and having your ears torn was to show that you had broken the rules in a very serious way. The werewolf was the same age as her with a brown fur and a long mane as well as blue eyes. She stepped closer seeing the chains on her clawed hands and feet, she looked around her seeing very few people. She breathed in instantly catching sight of the brown torn ears, the sea blue eyes turned to look at her as the werewolf spoke the panic in her voice. "Please don't hurt me they've already beaten me once and my ears won't stop stinging."

Gabrielle leaned down sitting in front of her on all fours. "I'm not going to beat you." She paused seeing the blood stains on her ears, which meant she'd been punished today. "What did you do?" The brown werewolf smiled sadly. "I slept with a human…I should be dead, but you see they wanted to keep me alive and chained up here for the next fours days as an example to others. Instead of death they ripped my ears so I'll carry my shame." Gabrielle felt the confusion take over. "Whose they?" The brown werewolf turned sharply. "The Imperial Council the bastards who make the rules around here, I wasn't born werewolf I guess it's the price I've paid. You know before I came here I had a family and those werewolves came and they killed all of them, then they bit me and made me part of there worker class, I have to move stone and spread cement on walls."

Gabrielle breathed in sharply lowering her ears. "Rules are there for a reason and you broke them." The werewolf sneered at her in disgust. "Your so naïve you are not a guest here, you're a prisoner. You do as they tell you even if it's wrong. I personally like sleeping with humans, it my personal choice and I've been punished for it." She narrowed her gaze. "One day you'll wake up and see that, you'll realize that you've never been given a single choice in your life. Every choice in your life has been plotted out for you on a scroll because you weren't born a werewolf like them and you have no control over your own destiny." Gabrielle eased up a clawed hand. "What's your name?" The werewolf looked up slowly. "Iris, what's yours?" Gabrielle breathed in deeply. "Gabrielle." Iris felt a smile form despite the pain she was in. "Your Potidaean aren't you?" Gabrielle blinked in surprise. "Yes I am, how did in you know that?" Iris looked up slightly. "You Potidaean's can never pronounce the h and s when you speak in werewolf tongue, you always heighten both letters."

"Get away from her!"

Gabrielle turned only to feel the force as a clawed hand impacted with her face she felt the ground as hit it hard on her back. She ignored the blood as it ran down her snout as she looked up at the huge heavily muscled werewolf who was a high ranking warrior. His clawed foot came down hard slamming in to her chest plate forcing her in to the ground hard as his angry voice hit the air. "You don't talk to those convicted of doing sinful acts against the Imperial Council!" His huge jaws grinded together. "Do you understand little pup!" Gabrielle felt the pain as he pulled his clawed foot off her chest. She rose slowly and painfully to her feet feeling the cold blood as it ran down her nose as she spoke trying to hide her contempt. "Yes sir." The werewolf eyed her in disgust as he shook his grey mane. "Get out of here now, before I break your legs!"

Gabrielle moved away meeting Iris gaze for a second, which felt like a long second as a deep understanding passed between them. She knew the world was unfair there was no denying that but she didn't believe in being brutal to others for the sake of it. The very reason she had the permanent scar on her right eye was because of some one else's brutality. Iris having her ears torn was clearly just the same so they were no real different between them. She went down on all fours moving away slowly maybe there was something to what Iris had said, may be she was trapped here, but she wouldn't lie she liked it here it was better than the last city she'd lived in.

8

Xena sat still taking in everything the younger woman had said it was clear to her now that the Imperial Council were very cruel to werewolves, who had been humans. She didn't even know this woman called Iris and yet she could understand her suffering, it seemed that werewolves couldn't be in love with human because it could cost them there lives or bring about ear ripping to show there shame. Gabrielle had told her this before but she hadn't really been listening. She'd only really been interested in the facts and she'd ignored the fact that Gabrielle had stated her dislike for the Imperial Council. She looked up slightly. "The Imperial Council sound like Conquerors for treating there people this way." Gabrielle put her pipe back in to her mouth. "That wouldn't be far from the truth."

She lowered her gaze. "I was still a teenager though and a no body among my race I didn't question their methods till I was older. I was a warrior first before anything else and that was all I really cared about, despite that I saw truth in Iris's words." She breathed out the smoke. "It was just easier for me to say that it was better place to live since I'd lived in a small place in the last city." Xena felt her heart knot painfully she had used those very same words to insult the younger woman not long ago and now it just seemed that she had picked them up and excepted them as if they were the truth. "I didn't mean those words when I called you a no body, that was wrong off me and I know that now so please don't take on my words as if they are truth."

Gabrielle narrowed her gaze. "You misunderstand Xena, I'm saying this because its only my antlers that make me somebody, with out them I'm just like the hundreds of other half blood werewolves out there." Xena took in a deep breath. "You know I made the mistake of treating you just like you were like every other werewolf out there." Gabrielle breathed in her pipe. "How was it mistake?" She breathed out the smoke. "It's not like you had a good example to go by, I'm sure the werewolves you saw in Roman dog fights were less than pleasant." Xena lowered her gaze to the floor. "I had no excuse I should have looked beyond appearances."

Gabrielle ran her fingers over the sketches ink which was now dry. "We all misjudge the way things appear at one time or another." Xena looked at her for a long moment there was simple truth in that statement she put a hand through her hair before looking up. "Clearly it would seem that way since you've taught Phrixus your language despite that's its forbidden and a crime punishable by death." Gabrielle eyed the floor for a long moment. "I'm part of a dying race I wouldn't want the last legacy of my race to never be read by anyone. Yes the Imperial Council will probably loath me and want me dead for exposing that secret, but I don't really care." She breathed in her pipe. "That scroll is a testament to our history everyone should know how great the Hinds before me were."

Xena stood up putting her chair to one side. "Why do you say before you?" Gabrielle breathed out the dark smoke watching as it drifted through the air. "I have no delusions about my leadership, out of all of the Hinds I'm the weakest, they fought great wars shook foundations and built cities, I've done nothing to prove my worth as a Hind, my horns are still covered in velvet which proves that I'm not worthy of my place." Xena looked at the younger woman who didn't look up to meet her gaze. Gods it was so sad here stood a king among werewolves and yet this woman who was king didn't have any faith her ability as a leader she saw herself as weak. "Have you considered that perhaps you're waiting for something, a great moment of change?" Gabrielle looked up slightly. "I don't believe in great moments of change."

Xena was about to say something only to stop as Ceto walked in to the room her personal maid looked up slightly. "My deepest apologises Empress but Demetrius is waiting for you in your study he wishes to speak to you regarding one of the trade agreements as there's been an issue." Xena took in a deep breath gods she hated it when this kind of thing happened. She turned back to Gabrielle. "How's about we both talk tonight in the royal gardens?" Gabrielle eased up her quill looking at it for a moment as if thinking it through before her uncertain voice hit the air. "I'll see you in the garden then." Xena smiled at her only to see that the younger woman gave her no smile in return instead she just nodded before going back to her sketching as she walked out of her workshop.

She walked through the inner door then closed it behind her realizing something for the first time, not once since Gabrielle had been here, had she ever seen her genuinely smile, not in human form or even in her werewolf form. The only smile she ever seen her make was a melancholy one and she had this wide tooth grin but it was normally followed by her being sarcastic or making a cold remark. She didn't laugh ether at jokes she was completely cold to them which only brought up more questions in her mind, what did Gabrielle find funny, did anything make her laugh? Did she even know how to laugh like everyone else anymore? She looked up as Demetrius entered her study some how she felt like she had a new purpose which mattered to her she just wanted to see Gabrielle smile or even laugh in her company.

The younger woman always seemed so down with in herself and now she really wanted to fix that not for herself but for Gabrielle. It didn't seem right that someone who was younger than her should be this way. It seemed that among all the people in palace Gabrielle was the most emotionally withdrawn and most depressed, in her mind that didn't seem right or fair ether, she should happy just like everyone else.

End of part 38

Silvermoonlight

Happy New Year everyone hope you had a great Christmas and Santa gave you all the gifts you wanted