Chapter 43: This is War

I could feel all four of their eyes on me as I walked into the Potions room. Slughorn was still in his office. That's good, it might give James a chance to apologize. I walked over to my usual seat next to James and across from Mucliber and Snape. James came up next to me and put his bag on the table and just looked at me. I looked back at him, and the brightness of his hazel eyes nearly took my breath away. After a few moments, I realized, we were wearing the same look. He was expecting an apology from me? Not happening. I sat down in my seat, deciding I'd have to find out a way to get him as far away from me as possible for this class. It's the only one we actually had to talk to each other. Slughorn came out of his office right then.

"Professor?" I called out, using my angelic voice. Slughorn's face automatically brightened up. He came over to me.

"Yes, what can I do for you?" He asked eagerly.

"Well, Sirius asked me for help in Potions," I invented quickly. "So I was wondering if he and James could switch seats?" I asked. I made sure to keep my eyes locked on Slughorn as I said this. Sirius was working with Peter, who was the worst at Potions in our class, so it made sense that Sirius would need help. And, they sat in the back corner, which is the farthest from my seat.

"Of course, of course!" Slughorn boomed. "A wise thing to do, Mr. Black, asking Ms. Evans for help! Come, come. Oh, Potter, you'll have to work with Pettigrew in the back." He added. I looked at my desk to keep from looking at James' face. It was probably shocked, and kind of mad. Slowly, I could hear Sirius coming to sit next to me, and he dumped his bag noisily on the desk. I could feel myself turn red, so I covered my face with my curtain of hair. Slughorn quickly described to us about some potion, a pretty easy one, too. All too soon, he stopped talking, and requested us to make it. I nearly groaned out loud.

"Well, I guess you can go get the ingredients and I'll set this up." I said to Sirius, not meeting his eyes, instead, just fiddling with the fire under the cauldron. I saw him get up off his chair and go to the closet. I finally allowed myself to look up, and figured it'd be five minutes before he came back.

"I've got it all." He said, coming up behind me. I nearly dropped my wand in surprise. How did he get back so quickly?

"Oh, um, g-good. Set them down here." I muttered feebly.

"Lily, we, Moony, Wormtail, and I, we're not taking sides here." Sirius said, loud enough for Snape and Mucliber to hear. I could see them lean forward slightly.

"I-If anything happens," I gulped, and took in a huge breath. "If anything happens," I repeated solidly, "I don't expect you to talk to me, any of you." I said. Only then it really hit me. Losing James would mean losing not only my boyfriend, it'd mean losing the only guy I'd probably ever love, and losing my best friend, all in one. And it would mean losing contact with the other three, who've become like my brothers now.

"Well, I can't speak for them, but Lily, you're too good of a friend to lose, I'm not going to stop talking to you." He said. "You've understood my family issue more than any of them, and you've always been here for me. Even the beginning of last year, when the rest of them were ready to kill me." He said. I finally looked up at him, and I could see nothing but sincerity. I sighed.

"Thanks, Sirius, it really means a lot." I said quietly.

"No problem." He said, giving me a quick, one-armed hug.

I looked up from our finished potion, and wiped some sweat off my forehead.

I threw myself into making this potion, and paid attention to every last detail of it. It was probably the best potion I've ever made.

"Miss Evans! This is amazing! Just an absolute piece of work!" Slughorn boomed, thoroughly impressed. "Perhaps without Mr. Potter next to you and distracting you, you do much better, eh?" He chuckled. "I want everyone to come up and look at this. This is from the skill of a true Potion maker!" No one moved. "Come, come, no need to be shy!" He encouraged, and slowly, people started to move towards our table.

I was surprised to see Snape was leaning slightly forward. I didn't realize he was actually interested to see what mine looked like. But of course, he did have a knack for Potions himself. Not many people did. Magic was usually associated with wands and incantations, and no one really stopped to look at Potions. I found it fascinating, how the ingredients mixed together, and how two lethal substances could come together to make something that saved lives! There was such a variety of ingredients and we're yet to even half of them.

"Lovely Lily, I will yet again request that you take over my spot as Potions Master after Hogwarts!" He said, "Perhaps I can go into a peaceful retirement!" I looked up at him, and right behind him was James, and I knew he was listening in.

"Professor," I started loudly enough so James could hear without having to eavesdrop. "I am flattered. However, I have other plans that I won'tbe giving up on." I stressed. Remus turned up behind James, put a hand on his shoulder, and slowly led him away.

Well. Lily: 1, James: 0

The next class we had today was Charms. Once again, I sat next to James, but we sat in the front, again, since Flitwick liked me, too. It felt weird. I was just sitting in my chair, too far apart from James for my liking, and wanted nothing more to than just reach out and touch him. I kept my hands firmly on my lap.

"Alright everyone, I think to practice for the upcoming N.E.W.T.'s, we should practice some nonverbal spells!" Flitwick announced. Oh, was he going to pair us up together? James was rubbish at nonverbal spells, and only managed to turn his face purple when he tried! "Practice with the person sitting at the same table as you." He said. Oh, that would still put me with James! I had a feeling I couldn't get out of this one. "Oh, I have a magnificent idea. How about one of you tries putting water on the other, and the other tries deflecting it? That way we can work on both skills that we never correctly mastered!" Flitwick added enthusiastically. James and I stayed at the front of the room, just moved away the desks.

"I-I'll start." He said, trying to sound confident and normal. It wasn't quite working. It was a good thing you were supposed to pay attention the person's wand, not their eyes. James' eyes were much too distracting. I watched, and waited. And watched some more. After what felt like forever, a little water came out of his wand. Sirius snickered from behind him.

"Nice going, mate." He laughed. Remus shot some water at him silently. "Moony!" Sirius yelled in distraught. Sirius turned around and tried to silently hit Remus with water. I turned back to James' wand. Some water started to shoot out, so I silently yelled Protego! I successfully made the shield. Had I been any closer, I probably wouldn't have gotten it up fast enough.

"Nice job, the both of you! 20 points for Gryffindor!" Flitwick said, coming around to us. "Switch now!" I pointed my wand at James, and gave him a second or two. Aguamenti! I thought to myself, and the water came shooting out of my wand. James didn't get the shield charm up, and ended up getting wet with a fair amount of water. "Wonderful, Miss Evans, 10 points to Gryffindor! Mr. Potter, you could use a little work." He added. I dried off James with a flick of my wand. "Oh, how wonderful, you managed to master that, too!" Flitwick said in glee. "I was going to do it myself, but you beat me to, it! Take another 5 points!" He smiled at me. "I suppose you two can take a break now." He added, before moving to correct Sirius and Remus.

I sat back down in my rigid position and tried to keep my mind off of the chaos in my life right now.

"Hi Lily." Marlene said, sliding in the seat next to me.

"Hi Marlene." I replied, glad for the distraction that I needed. "Hi, Alex." I added, looking behind her.

"Hey." He replied, and started working on some homework.

"Are you and James alright? You both seem a bit…off today. And you had him switch seats with Sirius. And you're sitting here all rigid?" She asked in a hushed whisper.

"It's just a small fight that should be over in a matter of time." I replied ambiguously. "But thanks for asking." I added.

"We're doing our best to kill any rumors, by the way." She said, pointing between her and Alex. I groaned.

"Rumors? Already?" I asked.

"Of course," She laughed, "He's James Potter, and you're Lily Evans. I'm pretty sure there's a group of people keeping tabs on your relationship and your movements." My eyes widened. That's creepy. "In class and in the hallways, at least. People have better things to do after school hours." She assured me. That was somewhat of a relief. "People refuse to believe you broke up, because that's impossible." She said. I could feel my cheeks turn red.

"I don't know, it's very much possible, we're just like any other couple, with our own problems, and stuff." I said, turning to look forward. I side-glanced at her, and she raised an eyebrow.

"Although, in our case, it's a bit odd, because protection out of love, for some reason, is not appreciated nor accepted." James butted in bitterly. "A bit insane, yes?" Alex and Marlene exchanged a glance and slowly nodded.

"Alright everyone, back to your seats!" Flitwick said, interrupting whatever Marlene was going to say. She and Alex quickly got up and went back to their seats. I sneaked a glance at James and he was staring at me, his eyes hard and cold.

Lily: 1, James: 1.

Well played, Potter, well played.

I spent through the rest of my classes completely ignoring James, as James did with me. We spoke no more to each other, nor did we direct any comments towards each other again.

I started heading towards the kitchens at the end of my last class for a little snack, but Marlene grabbed me by the arm, and dragged me away from the crowd. We walked a little bit forward, turned in the corridor, and found ourselves in a small empty hallway.

"What is going on?" She demanded. I sighed. I really should've expected this. Should I tell her? It was very much possible that she already knew of the existence. She and Alex were already from the families who wanted Voldemort gone as much as the muggleborns. "You're both acting horribly strange today."

"So you and Alex had sex?" I asked, partially to try and change the subject.

"Don't try to change the subject!" She said. I didn't say anything. "Okay, yes, we did." She said, rolling her eyes a little and blushing slightly.

"Nice job!" I said, giving her an encouraging pat on the arm.

"That sounds like something Sirius would say." She said, rolling her eyes a bit. "But, once again, don't try to change the subject!" I could trust Marlene. She wouldn't tell a soul. Except maybe Alex, but if I said to not tell him, she probably wouldn't unless she wanted to join. If she did, it would be great. I could probably convince James to let me join too, without that type of fight!

"Alright, so when James' parents died, they left a letter, explaining a secret organization Dumbledore's forming." Her eyes widened. "It's called the Order of the Phoenix."

"So you two do know about it!" She exclaimed.

"I….what?" I asked.

"Yes, I know about it, too." She said. "Alex and I heard about it, and we decided we wanted to join." She explained.

"That's great!" I smiled. "But, you see, that's the thing. He says he doesn't want me to join!" I screeched. "He's not even giving me a proper reason, he's just saying I can't!" She tilted her head. "So, I've been sleeping in the kitchens, and I took a shower in the Prefects' bathroom this morning, and Misty got me my clothes and school stuff." I explained.

"From what I gather, it's just that he doesn't want to lose you." Marlene shrugged.

"I've already told him, that I will join, no matter what, even if it meant breaking up with him." I told her. Her eyes widened. Good! She knew I was serious, and that I had to get this myway.

"But then, wouldn't he agree to what you want? Because if you're split up, there's no way he can stop you." She said.

"I don't know what goes on in his mind sometimes. I don't understand how he plans to stop me from joining even while we're together." I shook my head.

"Well…you could always ask him." She suggested with a shrug. I tilted my head. Maybe since we've given ourselves a chance to think about this, and possibly settle and calm down overnight, we'll be able to talk about it maturely?

"That's not a bad idea." I said thoughtfully. "Thanks."

"No problem." She smiled.

"I'm going to head to the Owlery to ask him to meet me outside in an hour." I said, walking backwards away from her.

"Why not just ask in person?" She asked.

"Because I don't want to face him." I said truthfully. I turned around and headed in the direction of the Owlery. As I went, I made sure to pay more attention to students and what they were talking about. I heard hushed whispers of "Potter" and "Evans" and "Lily" and "James" and conversations that stopped when I came closer to some people, and people whose eyes widened as I passed them. Marlene was right. There are people actually talking about this. I tried to keep my head down as I swerved through the people. I made my way up to the owlrey, trying to be as inconspicuous as possible. Without out James next to me, I was a lot more observant and conscious of everything around me.

I climbed up to the owlrey and stood near the entrance. I looked in my bag for a small piece of parchment, some ink, and a quill. Because of the Undetectable Extension Charm I had on it, I couldn't quite find them.

"Accio Parchment." I said, and parchment flew into my hand. "Accio ink and quill." Both the ink and quill came zooming up. I put my bag down. I opened the ink bottle and set it on the windowsill. I dipped my quill in it, and starting writing on the parchment.

Meet me outside in an hour by the Black Lake.

I capped my ink and put it back in my bag along with my quill. I walked over to the first owl I saw. "Take this to James Potter. Where ever he is right now, take it to him." I said to it. The owl chirped in response and flew off. I picked up my bag and walked downstairs.

Now to wait. One hour.

Only time would tell where this fight will go.

A/N: End of the school year work and cramming. We all hate it.
I know most of you wanted this to be solved THIS chapter...but this type of thing takes time!
Hope you don't hate me!

Love,

SAM :)