Weeks had passed since the night Cas and Dean kissed. The Winchesters were busy hunting and killing and Castiel, well he was doing Angel things. Dean knew this, or at least he reminded himself that he knew this. He couldn't get that angel out of his mind. His lips were deceivingly soft and his small body was shockingly firm. They had agreed that night to take it slow seeing as neither of them had been with another man, but this was glacial.
"Dean…" Sam said in a tone that Dean recognized to mean that this was at least the third time his brother had said his name.
"What's up." He replied looking straight, eyes on the road so they would let Sammy onto anything he'd been thinking.
"I said you seemed weird, like something's up, and you're not telling me."
"Sammy, Sammy, Sammy," he paused, "there isn't anything wrong that a bar and a burger won't fix.
"I think you need to get laid." Sam said as he turned to look out the window.
Dean had no response. He just kept driving, hoping the monotony of the road would dull his mind and he wouldn't think about anything...especially Castiel.
Dean was about seven beers, and five shots, into the night and he was feeling good. Well, he was feeling good until he thought of Cas and then not so much. When that happened he just ordered another shot and watched the people around him and Sam in the bar.
"Sweet heart," he cooed as the waitress walked by, "another shot for me." She smiled, nodded, and Dean smiled that "you're the only one I want smile" that melted women's hearts.
"Dude, shouldn't we get to bed?" Sam looked at him watch. "We have to look into that possible case two towns over tomorrow."
"You go on, Sammy." Dean watched the waitress as she bent over the bar to place his drink order. Her skirt was just right; not too much could be seen, but it made the imagination run. "I have some business to attend to here."
Sam looked from the waitress, down to the almost nonexistent hemline of her skirt, to Dean, and shook his head. "Maybe now you can stop being such a grumpy asshole." Me murmured to himself as he got up from the table and started for their motel down the road. Dean didn't notice his brother leave.
The waitress came back and put his drink on the table, making sure to tops of her breasts were very visible to Dean. Dean shifted uncomfortably as his erection grew.
"When do you get off?" He almost growled.
"I have to close up tonight. It'll be just me here around 3:00 am." She gave him a devious smile as she walked away.
So Dean waited there as the bar cleared out, the tables were bussed, the bartender left, and it was just him and the waitress. She hopped up on the bar, spread her legs invitingly, and motioned for Dean to come closer. Dean stood up, rearranged his painful, growing, member, and walked towards her. Then everything went dark.
When Dean came to he was sitting in his car. He noticed three things. First, he was cold, second, his erection was long gone, and third, Castiel was in the passenger seat next to him.
"Well, long time no fucking see." Dean barked as he rubbed his head and sat up further in his seat.
"I had some thinking to do Dean." The angel said and he turned the full power of his ocean blue gaze onto Dean. "We need to talk."
"You don't get to say that to me." Dean's anger was rising. "Last time I see you we...well we admit something life changing and then you fucking disappear for weeks."
Castiel tilted his head, tried to speak, but Dean cut him off. "Then you come back and take me from a definite score with a hot chick to talk. Fuck that man." Dean reached for the handle. Cas made a slight gesture with his hand, locking the doors, and Dean knew he wouldn't be leaving the car until Castiel allowed it. He turned back around hoping Cas could see the anger in his eyes.
"Dean, I care about you. You are the closest thing I have to family." Castiel began. "I have given this much thought and I do not believe that this would end well." He paused like he was trying to settle something in his head, straighten it out, before he spoke again. "If I lost you...I don't know what I would do."
"Sorry to break it to you, buddy, after this I think you will have lost me." Dean turned the full brunt of his stare on Castiel now. There was a distinct mixture of anger, cut-deep pain, and intense sadness radiating off Dean.
"You don't understand, Dean, I know how this will end." Castiel's words seemed burdened somehow with something that he couldn't express to Dean.
"How is that even possible?" Dean yelled. "You have never been in anything that looks like a relationship to know how it will end."
"Dean, I have been around longer than you can fathom. I have seen many relationships be born and then end in painful fashions." His voice almost sounded like he was pleading with Dean to understand something that he wasn't even saying.
"You don't know if that would be us." Dean almost whispered as the sadness he felt started to win out.
"I do know Dean." Castiel said simply, matter of factly, as he gently cradled Dean's head in his hand. Everything went white.
Dean shook his head, clearly the fog in his brain and adjusting his eyes to his new surroundings. His eyes darted around for that familiar brown trenchcoat. When he found it, it was not what he was expecting at all. It was on the ground, balled up and bloody. It was being used for a pillow as a figure lay on it, on the ground, laboring to breathe. Another figure knelt by the first, rubbing their head lovingly. Dean's gut churned. It was him. But how could that be, he was standing right, well wherever here was. He tried to move, but he was frozen.
The world around him was bathed in the red purple of sunset. Darkness was winning out over the ebbing sun. It would be night soon. Dean stared at his bleeding body on the ground, his head nestled on Castiel's coat. Blood gurgled up and out of his mouth as his eye fought to stay full of life. He was clearly losing that battle. Then he heard a voice as the second figure turned his head. "Cas?" he said to himself.
"Dean. No, this cannot happen." This new Castiel was crying, he was actually making tears. "You shouldn't have done that. I should be dying, not you."
"Cas," the other Dean struggled to say, "you...gave up...immortality for me...my life is yours."
"If you die I will be alone." Castiel pet Dean's head.
"Yeah...I guess you will...but we had a good run." Blood trickled out of the other Dean's mouth as his eyes lost their sight. Castiel grabbed the now lifeless body close to his chest and sobbed uncontrollably. White again overtook Dean.
"That is our future, Dean." Cas was now looking down, his hand still on Dean's face. "We are happy for a number of years. I give up my angelhood to be with you completely. To love you as a human. You take on the role of my protector. We are happy...then one day on a hunt my diminished reflexes stop me from seeing an assailant and I am about to be attacked when you jump in and wrestle it to the ground. It guts you and you die in my arms."
They were both quiet for a long time. Castiel let his hand drop from Dean's face and sheepishly stares out the window.
"So." Dean says simply, breaking the too long silence.
"What do you mean 'so?' You will die if we continue down this road." Cas looks at him almost angrily.
"Hunters don't have a long life expectancy, you know that right? We tend to be lonely, miserable people. If I have a chance to be happy, what doe it matter if I die. I am going to die anyway." Dean stated almost nonchalantly.
"You will die because I cannot protect myself and I will not be able to heal you." Castiel's voice strained, "I cannot be responsible for your death, Dean."
"At least we'll a good run." Dean echoed his future self.
"I am not strong enough to watch you die." Castiel blurted out. "I will not do it, Dean."
"Then I can't do this," he pointed back and forth between them with his finger, "anymore Cas."
"I figured you would say that." Castiel again raised his hand to touch Dean's face. As his hand gently touched Dean's cheek he followed it by bringing Dean's face closer to his. "I have no other choice." He sighed and kissed Dean. Dean was taken back by this and by the sadness he felt in the kiss. He never knew that Cas could feel emotions deeply enough to be felt through contact with him. As their lips parted they looked into each other's eyes. A single tear was sliding down Cas's face. "Good-bye Dean." Darkness flooded over Dean once more.
When he awoke he was in bed, he could hear Sammy snoring in the bed beside him. His head hurt like someone had been pounding it on the pavement for an hour. Then he remembered the waitress. What a night it had been with her. He'd always wanted to fuck a girl on a bar.
"Check that off my bucket list." He said to himself with a smile.
Something made him turn around, he felt like someone was watching him. There was someone there, at least Dean thought there had been. There was noone there now.
"Maybe I had too much to drink…" he muttered as he adjusted his pillow and went back to sleep.
Castiel appeared silently and knelt down by Dean's bed.
"This is the only way I can keep you Dean."Castiel reached out his hand, but jerked his hand back before it made contact with Dean's forehead. "I am strong enough for this. I can be your friend and watch you be happy...even if that means I will never know what it means to be yours. You will always be mine."