LOSS FROM THE HEART AND SOUL

Gabrielle slowly moved her clawed hand across the ground as she looked around her for a piece of wood, the new wood that had been brought up to her workshop was good but it was far too fresh and the bark had been stripped off. She wanted something much older piece aged piece which still had its bark, she picked up a large thick broken log with one hand only to toss it back on the ground, it just wasn't right it wasn't thick enough. She paused moving forward on all fours she'd just about finished carving the Ouroboros symbol and she was thinking through her next project which might be a new wooden bird with opening and shutting wings. She never ever made these birds from young wood she preferred old wood as it was much more challenging and took more work to bend in to the right shape.

She turned sharply as a clanging sound hit her ears, she moved slowly around the corner seeing that an area had been lit opposite the barracks with fire torches, she could see Xena some distance away her sword was hitting one of the hanging wooden dummies in the training area which was opposite the shooting range. She turned seeing some fallen wood near by she took in a deep breath moving slowly forward watching as the tall dark haired woman carried on training obvious to her presence which was no doubt because she didn't have as good eye sight in the dark as she did. She paused stopping close to one of the fire torches eyeing the wooden pieces.

Xena stopped in mid motion some one near by she turned sharply watching as the slight of golden fur came in to view. Gabrielle was directly behind her on all fours with her back turned to her as she shifted through the broken wooden pieces which were sat in a pile close by and were normally used as firewood for the royal guard to light the fire inside the barracks. She lowered her sword seeing that Gabrielle hadn't realized that she'd stopped her training and was still shifting through the wood obvious to what was going on. She felt a smile form as she spoke. "Was it a certain type of wood you were after?" Gabrielle looked up sharply seeing that Xena was looking in her direction.

She turned over another chunk of hard wood with her clawed hand as she lowered her gaze. "Sorry I didn't mean to interrupt your training." Xena slowly pushed her sword back in to its scabbard. "I was finished anyway I've been here for a while, normally I train during the day but today I thought to day I'd train at night instead." Gabrielle over turned another hard wood chunk only to push it aside as it wasn't right. "Why?" Xena moved closer to her folding her arms. "I just wanted to get a different perspective I've noticed that you like the darkness more than the light." Gabrielle eased up a heavy chunk of wood looking at it seeing that it was just what she'd been looking for.

She moved it putting it to one side as she met the dark haired woman's light blue gaze. "I'm a werewolf I've spent most of my life in the darkness." Xena looked at her for a long moment it wasn't a rude comment more of a statement. She paused before speaking. "I wanted to ask you a question." Gabrielle shook her mane. "Go ahead." Xena looked in to her green eyes which were reflecting in the darkness. "You said that, that woman Iris was punished for sleeping with a human." Gabrielle looked up slightly. "Yes I did." Xena breathed in deeply. "Did she ever go back to be with that man she cared about?" Gabrielle breathed in painfully. "Yes she did, she fled from the Grand City and it was me who ended up chasing her." Xena blinked in surprise. "Why was she fleeing?" Gabrielle lowered her gaze sadly feeling the memory flood back in to her mind. "Because she had, had a child with that man she loved."

8

Gabrielle picked up her pace as her clawed feet slammed in to the forest floor for two miles she'd been chasing this fleeing werewolf, they'd been told to capture this fleeing werewolf at all costs. She could see her now in her line of sight, she was running slower because she was carrying something in her clawed hand and it was slowing down her pace. She was well ahead of the others and so close to her target she forced her feet in harder in to the ground as she got closer to the brown werewolf. Nineteen and a half and she could still move faster than the other three behind her she sneered as she tensed getting ready to spring she was practically on the other werewolf's heels now.

She felt her feet leave the floor as she leapt upwards coming down hard on the other werewolf's back causing her to hit the floor hard. She moved her jaws down putting them around her maned neck forcing her in submission in a violent motion. She felt herself freeze as the others werewolf turned her head as best she could despite her grip. She breathed out letting go sharply as the blue eyes looked back at her. "Iris?" Iris held her little bundle tighter. "Please you have to let me go!" She breathed in trying to control her panic. "They'll kill my child!" Gabrielle blinked in surprise moving off her watching as she turned on to her back in her clawed hand was a tiny wrapped bundle containing a small child who was not more than a day old. "Kill your child?"

She hadn't seen Iris in a long while not in the tunnels or anywhere else for that matter and now that she'd found her here everything suddenly felt strange and confusing. "I don't understand." Iris eyed the other woman, how ironic the very person to catch her fleeing was the one who had become an acquaintance she knew that it was Gabrielle's job to bring her in, but Gabrielle wasn't aware of everything. She was about to be, she'd make sure of that if it was the last thing she ever did. "My daughter was born human…she's not a werewolf."

Gabrielle felt the shock hit home hard as the other woman's words sunk in. "Human but that's not possible…I thought." Iris breathed in holding her little bundle closer to her chest. "You thought wrong Gabrielle, if you were turned in to a werewolf there is a chance you can have a human child its rare but it happens. They wouldn't tell you this because your trained to be a warrior, workers on the other hand learn about it from others who've suffered because of it." She looked at her tiny daughter. "You know what they do to human children?" Gabrielle shook her head. "No." Iris breathed getting on to all fours. "They kill them! The Imperial Council demands that only werewolf children get to live and I will not see my daughter die." Gabrielle stared at her trying to take in what she'd just said her thoughts were suddenly broken as she heard the others they weren't far away.

Iris pricked her ears up she knew she was desperate but she had to flee for her daughters life. "Please I'm begging you to let me go! Lie to them, say you couldn't find me!" She paused looking around. "Do you really want my daughter's blood on your hands?" Gabrielle breathed in deeply hearing a distant godly voice whisper in her ear. "Let her go." She grabbed her pendent moving it between her clawed fingers as she turned away. "Go…don't look back run to the river and follow it up to the deep caverns they'll never find you there it's a vast network of caves and tunnels and it goes on for miles." Iris held her daughter closer. "Thank you…one day I'll make this up to you." Gabrielle breathed as she watched her bolt in to a run on all fours, she'd be punished for this without a doubt the Imperial Council hated failure.

8

"You failed how could you fail? Bastiaan said you were right behind her!"

Gabrielle felt the force as the heavy clawed fist impacted with her face as captain Alexandras hit her hard. She felt the pain as other werewolf who was called Bastiaan held her up so his captain could deal out her punishment. She could feel blood dripping down from her jaw, she watched as Alexandras grunted the hatred in his eyes. "Damokles picked you, he said you were very good at tracking and the best from his unit, he also said you were very good at running on all fours!"

Gabrielle felt the pain as his clawed fist impacted with her ribs, he'd taken off her armoured chest plating leaving only her material sleeveless shirt which was used so the moving chest plate didn't bite in to her skin, her right eye was now half closed and her lower jaw was bleeding badly. She had bleeding claw marks on her leg and she felt truly terrible. She was sure that once she became human again she'd be black and blue, this wasn't over yet ether she'd get a flogging regardless because she had failed in her duty. This captain wasn't kind like Damokles or even merciful and trackers weren't meant to fail. She breathed in only to scream in pain as he slammed his clawed fist in to her ribs again.

"Is this really necessary, she failed but won't she already be flogged for not being able to complete her mission?"

Alexandras turned only for the shock to hit home he didn't think as he fell to his knees, he watched as the others did the same instantly. This caused the golden werewolf to fall to her knees painfully. He lowered his head not daring to look up. "Great and mighty Crescent Hind, I am only doing what I thought was necessary." Gabrielle looked up watching as a large grey werewolf came in to view he was eight feet tall and dressed in red and gold plated armour with black hanging cloth which had a thick heavy belt plated in gold with red patterns. He was old though there was pure white all over his body and his mane. He had been at in his late sixties if not older, what truly set him apart though were the two huge deer like antlers coming up from his head which were dark grey in colour.

They added another foot to his height she blinked staring only to feel the pain as Bastiaan who was his knees opposite her shoved her head down in a violent motion. She had heard about Horn Hind the werewolf with horns but she'd never seen him. The word Horn Hind in essence meant king, in werewolf tongue, though each Horn Hind had a variation in his or her name to reflect their personality. This king was called the Crescent Hind, because he had paved the way in blood. The Crescent Hind looked up slightly. "I'd like you to bring the young girl to my quarters I want to speak to her." Gabrielle watched as Alexandras turned eyeing her in disgust. "But she's being punished Crescent Hind!" The old horned werewolf eyed him. "You do not make the choices here I am Horn Hind and what I demand must be done!" Alexandras bowed his head further. "I'll see it done, as you command Crescent Hind."

8

Xena stared at Gabrielle feeling the pain wrench though her chest. "They were going to kill that child and all because she wasn't born a werewolf?" Gabrielle took in a deep breath. "Yes it's the law of the Imperial Council werewolf children live and human born children die, because they only want werewolf blood in the family lines, there obsessed with the idea of pure blood." She looked at her clawed hand. "My god told me to let her go and I let her go." Xena looked at her for a long moment. "Would you have let her go if your goddess hadn't asked it of you?" Gabrielle slowly took hold of the old wooden chunk in her clawed hand easing it up again. "Yes I would have." Xena raised an eyebrow. "Even though you knew they'd punish you for it?" Gabrielle eyed the wood in her hand. "I would never bring harm to a child, I was happy to suffer so that she could escape with her human child and I have no regrets about my actions."

She lowered the wood. "I'd do it all over again in a heartbeat." Xena watched as she lowered her gaze her green eyes becoming unreadable. "That was a very noble thing to do Gabrielle." Gabrielle eased out her tongue licking one of her canine teeth absentmindedly. "Nobility had nothing to do with it I did it because it was the right thing to do." She lowered her ears. "I was in the same boat as Iris I'm a half blood werewolf who can give birth to human children if our roles had been reversed I want her to let me escape." Xena looked up catching sight of the pain in the other woman's eyes which wasn't hidden. "So you weren't the first Horn Hind?"

Gabrielle shook her head. "No I'm the seventh, the Crescent Hind was my predecessor he was very old when I was young." Xena eased up her hand. "Did he take you to his quarters?" Gabrielle felt a sad smile form. "Yes he did." Xena felt her gaze dart. "What did you talk about?" Gabrielle picked up her wooden chunk she felt her smile turn to a scowl. "His guilt..." She slowly turned away not wanting to say anymore on this she wasn't in the mood and it had never been a good memory. "Excuse me I have to go to my room, it's late and I need to sleep." Xena moved forward slowly following her. "May I join you? Its just your eyesight is better than mine in the dark."

Gabrielle looked at her for a long moment the dark haired woman was being genuine she could see it in her eyes. She turned away moving forward on all fours. "Of course." Xena slowly followed the other woman as she moved forward in the darkness clearly she didn't want to go in to the topic anymore the memory was clearly very painful. No doubt she'd speak about it more when she felt the time was right. She paused as another question went though her mind which she had wanted to ask for some time. "Gabrielle, can I ask you something personal?" Gabrielle breathed in deeply. "Go ahead." Xena looked up slightly. "Why do you walk around on all fours when you can walk on your hind legs?"

Gabrielle stopped she slowly turned to meet her gaze. "Because I don't pretend to be something I'm not, I'm a werewolf and nothing will ever change that, so I see no point to pretending to human by standing on my hind legs." Xena moved so she was standing opposite her she could hear the proud conviction in the other woman's voice. She moved her hand towards the fur on her back. "You know if you did stand on your hind legs people might look at you differently." Gabrielle felt her eyes dart as she moved away sharply before the other woman could touch her. "No they wouldn't they'd just be even more scared of me because I'd tower over them, just like you were when I towered over you for the first time."

She carried on moving ignoring the other woman's surprise. "I know what your thinking Xena, you think if you dress me up differently give me clothes make it so I stand up tall that I'll be looked at differently but let me be brutally honest with you no matter how much you dress something up differently its still the same underneath and you can't change it no more than you can move stars in the sky." She shook her mane. "You can't change what I am, no one can I'll be this way until I die and for the remainder of my long life I'd rather not live under the delusion of trying to be something I'm not. I'd rather be happy being the way I am and have people accept me, as I am." She narrowed her gaze. "True people might not accept me for who I am but I'll at least know that any friendship I gain will be real and not fabricated and that I'm being myself and not living a lie."

Xena watched as she carried on walking forward she wouldn't deny the truth in the other woman's words which were spoken from the heart. Gabrielle clearly didn't want to be anything other than her self and be accepted as such. Very few people she knew would ever say that aloud even if they thought it inside, it seemed among the politicians and aristocrats most were forever trying to be some one or something else which they weren't. Even she was guilty of putting on a different face in front of officials because she feared that they'd see her for who she really was and they'd think her as weak. Yet during her time in Rome she'd always been herself in truth she had forgotten what it was to be herself in the company of others, she always put up the mental blocks to stop people getting in.

Only now in Gabrielle's company was she being fully open and that felt strange to her even now as she wasn't used to being this open with anyone else in side her palace. She knew that things were still slightly difficult between them and that she still had to make up for her past actions but despite this she did still enjoy there talks. Maybe because Gabrielle always said just what she felt and she never masked anything it was always open and honest and it made her much easier to talk to than anyone else in side her palace walls.

End of part 41

Silvermoonlight.

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