Disclaimer: As always, I own no part of SOA. All characters and settings belong to Kurt Sutter / Sutter Ink. However, those characters that are a living breathing product of my imagination belong solely to me.
Chapter 16
'Pregnant…Pregnant…Pregnant…' the words echo around inside Abel's head like a bee-bee in an empty boxcar. 'This cannot be happening…not now thought Abel 'not now.' Abel struggled to control the rising panic…falling across his chest like dead weight. 'This has to be a nightmare and I will surely wake-up any second now' thought a completed rattled Abel. He spared a brief glance over his shoulder, Amanda stood in the clubhouse doorway looking as shell-shocked as he felt. Muttering a silent pray to who or whatever was listening, he turned back to face Maria.
The mocking scorn written across Maria's face was pushing Abel over the edge. Closing the distant in two long angry strides, Abel placed both hands on her upper arms grabbing her roughly; "If you're lying to me…games over – I'm not laughing." Maria thought for a second about struggling for release from his almost bruising grip – the absolute fury in his eyes cautioned her against it.
"Look at me Abel…do you think I would come here if I was lying?" Casting a distasteful glance towards Amanda in the doorway "you honestly think I want to admit – I got knocked up by a man who has 'obviously' moved on but certainly not up I might add."
Leashing his anger by a thread, Abel stared at Maria wondering what he ever really saw in her. Could this 'woman' really be 'pregnant' with his kid?" Twenty minutes ago all was right with the world – now his world was caving in on top of him. How could he survive this? A baby with this woman would cost him everything – his family, his club, the woman he loved, hell even quite possibly his life. "What the fuck – am I going to do now," he wondered?
Watching things going from bad to worse, Amanda forced herself to move across the lot to stand beside Abel. "Abel…Abel" she whispered again hoping to draw his attention away from the other woman. Loosening his grip only slightly, Abel turned his face to Amanda her name slipping past his lips the merest pray. Looking into her eyes, Abel saw no condemnation just love and pure concern. Watching her face, not for the first time he thought 'Redemption.' Losing the battle to be the big strong biker, he turned loose of Maria and quickly enveloped Amanda in a desperate embrace.
As his life spun insanely out of control, Amanda was his anchor. She kept him grounded in reality. Through her eyes, he believed he could be the 'biker in shining armor,' she saw every time she looked at him. Left to his own devices, Abel would have been content to stand there holding Amanda all night. Catching sight of a very pissed off Maria out of the corner of his eye – brought him back to reality. Slowly he released Amanda, taking her hand he kept her close to his side, as he turned back to face Maria. "I obviously have questions." He stated calmly – almost as a matter of fact.
Maria stood looking at them both. Angry that she felt forced to admit her pregnancy here in a garage parking lot. "A damned garage instead of 'our' bed" she thought heatedly. The sight of Abel standing there clinging to that 'little bitch' was enough to make her stomach turn. He was so quick to toss her aside. He chose a damned motorcycle club over her. Did their time together really mean so damned little? How could he replace her with this 'stupid bitch'? This had to stop, reaching out she grabbed Abel by the arm "Excuse me" she shouted, "I hate to break up this little love fest, but I'm standing right here. Don't you think you should deal with the mother of your oldest child, before you go creating any future off spring with that bitch?" Drawing back from Amanda, Abel took her hand and pulled her close to his side. Stepping right up into Maria's face he warned her in no uncertain terms to keep her opinions to herself.
Having stood silently off to one side throughout all of this Chucky debated what he should do next. This club had quite literally saved his life more than once. He had watched Abel grow up. Whether the club saw it or not – he saw himself as part of this crazy fucked-up dysfunctional family. Watching Abel tonight felt like watching a train wreck in motion. He knew that he should do something to help; to make it stop. Yet he felt powerless to quit watching, he had to know what was going to happen next.
Precious seconds later, Chucky knew what he had to do. Turning back towards the clubhouse; Chucky raced inside. Standing just inside the clubhouse door, Chucky scanned the crowd anxiously looking for Jax. Spotting Jax shooting pool with Tig and Opie, Chucky nearly tripped over his own two feet in the race to reach him. Stopping as first Tig took his shot and then Jax, Opie teased "Hey Chucky, you come to challenge the winner?" Chucky shook his head mumbling a quick no. "Um…Um Jax can I talk to you outside for a second."
"Chucky…man it's a party lighten up – would you," laughed Jax fully enjoying the lighter moments of club life and his presidency. Chucky again asked Jax to walk with him outside for just a second. Agreeing simply to shut the smaller man up – Jax did as Chucky asked. The second they cleared the clubhouse door, Jax knew the lighter moments were gone. In front of him, roughly fifty feet away, were his son, Amanda, and the Mayan 'princess.' "Son of a bitch" cursed Jax, "I thought he was done with this shit."
Jax moved with purpose, striding confidently towards the unsuspecting trio. Chucky rushed, hot on Jax's heels. As he approached the group, Jax heard his son ask, "How the hell do I know it's my baby?" Jax stopped momentarily speechless 'baby? – baby? Did my son just say baby?' Coming to stand just outside their little circle Jax spoke for the first time "What's going on out here Abel?"
Despite his calm demeanor, Abel was sure his dad had heard his question about the baby. "Fuck" thought Abel, "my life is going to straight to hell tonight!" Facing his dad Abel began, "Dad I don't think you have had the pleasure of meeting Maria" sarcasm dripping from every word. Rubbing a hand across his face and through his hair a disbelieving Abel pressed on "Good news Dad, Maria here just stopped by to inform me that I'm going to be daddy – guess that makes you and grandpa huh?" Jax's mind immediately thought of Wendy. Although Tara was the only mother that mattered, Abel was actually the product of Jax and his junkie ex-wife. 'Like father like son' thought Jax 'I get a junkie pregnant and Abel well he knocks up a Mayan God-daughter.'
Jax turned to face Maria asking the same question as his son "Are you sure this kid belongs to my son?" Insulted and tired of the crap Maria took a step back "I know what you and your club think of me Tellar, but I am no whore…Yes I'm certain this baby belongs to Abel. What I want to know – What's Abel going to do about it now."
Abel laughed bitterly "What the hell do you mean do about it? This isn't turning into any damned shotgun wedding if that's what your hoping just forget it. If it's my kid than I'll man up and support him – be a good dad." Maria laughed bitterly, "Yeah right a good dad…and when he's eighteen which club should he prospect for Abel the SONS or the Mayans?" Abel's stomach twisted in on itself once again. How could this work, he was a SON it was in his blood. Maria was however loosely, family tied to the Mayans. Her family would not understand this anymore than his club would.
Seeing the turmoil written all over Abel's face, Amanda felt her heart breaking. Squeezing his hand she offered the only support she could at the moment. "What are you saying Maria, you want an abortion – is that it?" asked a disgusted Abel. Thinking the question over in her mind, Maria responded "What if I do – it's my body my life Abel therefore my decision." Abel felt a pain and an anger he had never known. Despite only knowing about this baby for roughly thirty minutes already the idea of an abortion made him heart sick. "You didn't come here to tell me you're pregnant only to turn around and demand an abortion. What do you want Maria? What do you want from me? I done told you, we're not getting married. You know I'll be a damned good dad. So tell me Maria what did you hope to get out of coming here tonight – telling me like this?"
Maria thought hard about it for just a few seconds, her cold empty gaze never leaving Abel. Before Maria could speak, the party began to slip out from the clubhouse door. Watching his brothers from afar, Jax wanted to take this discussion elsewhere for the time being. He shifted his glance between Maria and Abel. Maria noticed the other SONS almost as soon as Jax himself did. Looking around the lot, Maria realized for the first time that coming here alone like this might have been the smartest decision. She needed Abel, but that did not mean she was ready to share this with his brothers. Regardless of how this turned out – she doubted they would ever be one big happy family. Glancing over his shoulder, Abel gave his brothers a bittersweet, however, brief smile.
Jax could see the looks on both of their faces. He knew that this would become club business son enough. For tonight, however, he could spare all of them that hurt and drama. "Look I think we can all agree that nothing is going to get solved here tonight in this parking lot. For now tonight at least, this is a family matter, let's try and keep it that way." Maria was surprised by his reaction; when she noticed the other club members – she thought for sure this was about to become very ugly very fast.
"This is my busy – Abel and me," Maria spit out venomously "I'm not discussing my future with that bunch of animal drunks." Abel laughed she really could be so damned naïve. For a Mayan God-daughter she really had no idea how this could work out for her. However shitty he felt Abel agreed – he did not want to share this with his brothers not tonight. "Listen Maria, why don't you take off, I'll come by tomorrow and you and I can make some decisions then."
Maria didn't like the feeling that she was giving in to Abel, but under the circumstances he might have a good point. Without another word to any of them – Maria turned quickly and made her way to her car. Within seconds she was gone from the TM lot.
As they watched her leave, Jax noticed Chucky standing in the shadows – just off to his left. Jax liked Chucky – he really did. This would be a club matter soon enough. He needed Chucky to keep his mouth shut. He and Abel would decide how to break this to the club. Stepping to the right of Chucky, Jax smiled briefly, "Chucky, you know…" Before Jax could say anything further Chucky began "HOLY SHIT! Jax, this is bad…How are you going to break this to club?" Under different circumstances, Jax may have laughed. Leave it to Chucky to state the obvious thought Jax. "Chucky…I can trust you to keep your mouth shut…right? For now this is a private family matter. For now it needs to stay that way…you understand what I'm saying right?"
"Sure Jax…Sure…Sure you're the prez, you know what's best." Chucky agreed with a quirky grin, before taking off back towards the club house.
Turning his attention back to his son, Jax sighed 'so much like me.' He thought with a heavy heart. "Abel? Why don't you make sure Amanda gets home ok and then meet me at our house? We can talk there."
Abel stood silently numb – an all-encompassing cold spreading throughout his system. The only real warmth he registered holding Amanda's hand. To shocked to argue, Abel nodded his silent agreement to his dad. Never releasing her hand, Abel led Amanda to his bike. Amanda felt the truck keys in her front pocket. For a brief moment she thought of suggesting she could drive herself home. Yet, as Abel handed her his helmet, the misery on his face, kept her quiet. He needed this time with her as much as she needed it with him. Strapping on the helmet, Amanda straddled the bike and waited for Abel to pull from the TM lot. Wrapping her arms around his waist, Amanda buried her face into his back. She took comfort in being this close to him. She willed him to feel the comfort and love she felt. She was here for him come hell or high water – she prayed he knew that. This time of night, the ride from TM to her place would be a short one. Glancing up Amanda was surprised to find that Abel was headed to his parents place not to hers. As they stopped at a red light, she was tempted to ask. Instead she simply clung to him tighter, willing him feel her love.
Within a few minutes, Abel pulled to a slow stop in front of his parents place. As Amanda was removing her helmet, they both turned to watch Jax pull in and park in the driveway. Shutting off his bike, Jax made his way down the drive towards the young couple. "Abel I thought…" he began as Abel held up a hand "She stays dad and that's that." Abel replied calmly – no room for further discussion. Jax shook his head as he watched the young couple make their way into the house.
As they entered the house Amanda gave Abel's hand a reassuring squeeze. Tara entered from the kitchen, surprised to see them both back so soon. Jax entered and crossed to his wife. Slipping his arms around Tara, Jax clung to her as he had in the early days of their relationship. "Is Rachael sleeping?" he whispered to his wife before releasing her. Tara shook her head "she's staying over with Annalisa and her family. Jax you're worrying me a little here – is there something wrong?"
Gesturing to the table, Jax pulled out a chair for Tara, glancing to the others "Maybe we should all sit down." Taking a seat next to Tara, Jax waited for his son to do the same. Amanda didn't want to intrude in personal family business. She was mere seconds from suggesting that she would wait in the other room. Before the words could pass her lips, Abel followed suit and pulled out a chair for her – indicating she should sit next to him.
Silence rained uncomfortably at the table as precious seconds ticked by. Tara looked from her husband to son and back again. She was beginning to fear the worst when Abel finally spoke. "Mom…that girl I was seeing…the one you were so worried about…Well she showed up at the clubhouse tonight." Tara knew immediately that whatever her son said next would not bode well for her family. Reaching under the table, Amanda took hold of Abel's hand lying restlessly against his thigh. With a brief glance to Amanda – Abel continued. "She's pregnant mom…I'm going to be a dad."
While the circumstances were not ideal Tara was almost relieved – from the long faces surrounding her table she had almost begun to believe that someone had died. "Abel…Honey" Tara began moving to stand from the table to go to her son. Jax laid a stilling hand on his wife's arm "there's more darlin'" he whispered before she could move. Looking to Abel, Jax allowed him to continue. Taking a deep breath Abel continued "Maria has some family ties to the Mayans."
Confused Tara looked between father and son before asking "what does that mean?" Jax sighed "It means that the club and this family could be royally fucked. That's what it means!" Abel shook his head, "we don't know anything for sure yet…Hell dad we don't even know for sure if she's actually pregnant or not."
Looking disbelievingly at his son, "we have to assume she is…we have to prepare for damage control." Jax continued.
Slamming his hand angrily against the table top Abel shouted "damage control…damage control? Really dad you think of my fucking kid as damage?" Rubbing her fingers across his hand – Amanda was unsure how to best help Abel in this situation. Tara intervened "Abel I know you're upset, I'm sure your father didn't mean that the way it sounded. Did you Jax?"
Rubbing his hands across his face in frustration Jax stood and moved towards the counter. "Abel you know that if you're actually the father of this baby – then I would personally support you one hundred percent. But son, you have to realize that we do not live a perfect world. You are a patched member of SAMCRO – she has family ties to the Mayans. How do you see this ending? I'm open for any suggestions that don't end in an all-out bloody damn war.
"I'm not asking for war dad," began Abel, "but I will do what I have to – to protect my child." Jax had to take mental step back. How could he expect anything less from his son? He took his brothers all the way to Ireland and back to find Abel. Simply put, he and his brothers may understand how bloody this could become – he doubted his son understood.