LUST AND GREEN EYED JEALOUSLY

I'm doing this again I never know how I feel about doing this but I have to do it, it's now a necessity. I need to carry a child and that has become part of my routine I'm given a new remedy every month by Phantasos and then I call in the male gladiator champion Calicos from Athens to the palace. I pay his trainer for his services he is a very big and well built man with shoulder length black hair which had metal bronze ringlets in places, he also has dark green eyes and he's very polite. I know I'm not the only one who pays for his services there are other's, it's well known that male gladiators and gladiatrix's who aren't married in Greece can be brought out for a night to pleasure ether gender depending on their sexuality. It is very common and unlike Rome it is not kept a secret every one and anyone who has the coin can buy time with a gladiator or gladiatrix.

Most just want the dream of touching them under the sheets and having their sensual attention, others don't want sex they just want to talk. I'm very different though for me this has nothing to do with sex I just want a child with in me and I see Calicos as my means. As rumour has it that he has a high record of successfully fathering children among the single women he's slept with. Not that he's has, had any success with me we've been doing this for almost two years now with no success but I'm not willing to give this up. I will try any remedy and try any position if it means a child I need to have a child so that my throne will be secure. I won't lie I enjoy the sexual part but there's no real intimacy not like the kind I used to receive from my husband. I used to enjoy our sessions because I felt that he loved me and it showed in the bedroom, but I know Calicos does not feel that way to him this is part of his duty as a gladiator.

He has no emotional attachment to his clients he does what he is paid to do and he does it well. I know that need to be loved is just my loneliness talking in my mind. I deeply miss being loved and cherished by some one who's deeply in love with me it's a feeling I'd love to have back. Calicos slowly stepped forward speaking in a neutral voice as he undid his tunic pulling it off in a fluid motion. "How do you wish me to be Empress?" Xena breathed in as she sat up in bed easing her robe of putting it to one side feeling the cold air touch her naked body as she spoke unable to keep the disheartened tone out of her voice. "Straddle me." Calicos nodded as he moved towards her easing his naked body on to the bed. "As you wish Empress, it is always a pleasure to please you."

Xena breathed in sharply oh how she wished this about more than just sex. Her thoughts were suddenly broken off as his hands began to move down her body she breathed in sharply feeling his lips meet hers. She breathed in sharply feeling the instant heat boil up in her stomach and then shoot downwards as he got him self slowly in to position as he carried on kissing her. She knew it wasn't love just pure lust and she knew soon it would take control of her and she wouldn't be in control of herself anymore and yet somehow she just wanted to sink in to it and forget who she was if only for an instant. To forget that she ruled Greece and forget that she had no lover who cared about her and pretend that she did and that she wasn't unhappy with being alone. She lay back feeling the hands move along her body as her fingers started to grip the sheets and she began to loose herself completely in the moment which was taking over everything.

Gabrielle slowly walked forward on all fours through the dark corridor which led to her room, Xena had said that she'd speak to her but so far they hadn't seen each other. She eased her room's double doors open with one clawed hand and then slowly moved through them then closed them behind her using her foot in truth this was the first time she'd ever wanted to talk to other woman. Normally Xena came to her room, she slowly walked up to the inner door only to stop as she pricked up one ear she could hear moaning but not the type that didn't have anything to do with dreams. No this was the type to do with sex when someone was reaching that moment before the colour filled there eyes and they lost themselves. She lowered her eyes to the floor knowing that what she was about to do next was wrong on every level but she couldn't help herself. She slowly opened the door staying low on all fours as she watched the Empress come in to view. She was lying on back and a larger man was on top off her pleasuring her, she was clearly enjoying it by the sound of it, as was he. She stayed still nether of them had noticed her at this moment she didn't even exist to them.

She wouldn't lie to herself she had watched other people have sex before, when she'd been younger she shifted through the night in werewolf form and looked in to windows even though she knew it was wrong, but she'd done it anyway just because she wanted to watch even though she couldn't be a part of it, it was a guilty pleasure which she'd never admitted to. It wasn't until Damokles that she'd stopped doing it as she'd been content and felt no need to do it anymore. Now seeing it once more suddenly brought back that deep temptation to watch all over again she knew she could lie down and watch them and they wouldn't even know that she was here not right up until the last moment. She lowered her head only to stop as something hit her hard she had no right to be here, this was Xena's personal business and not her guilty pleasure.

She lowered her ears as she carried on watching she could see Xena's naked body which had faded scars from battle in places, she could see that look of pleasure in her face even though her eyes were half closed. She lowered her gaze as she got up on staying on all fours she was a beautiful woman there was no denying that, a beautiful woman being pleasured by a powerful handsome man. She felt her teeth suddenly grind together as the jealousy hit her hard, she didn't even have a clue why it was there she had no sexual attachment to this woman she was only her friend. May be it was because this reminded her off what she'd once had with Damokles. Back when she felt like she'd had full control of her life, before she'd become Horn Hind and he'd vanished from her life. She could remember being that happy when she'd made love to him and that image coming back to her now made her feel as though her heart was being ripped out of her chest.

No one loved her in that way, she was completely alone in her life despite that she now had friends and freedom. It hurt to be reminded of what she had once had she slowly stepped back feeling the anger burn as she took hold of the door ignoring Xena's eyes as they suddenly closed as she hit her climax she sat up crying out in pleasure. Her light blue eyes opened again to fall up on her the shock appearing in them instantly. She didn't meet her gaze she didn't want to she already knew she had been caught red handed but at this point she didn't care. She knew she had no right to be here in the first place, if the Empress was enjoying herself in someone else's company it was none of her business and she should know better. She turned closing the door slowly ignoring the fact that Xena was still staring at her in shock where as her lover still hadn't noticed her he was to focused on his task. She watched the door shut completely she slowly leaned forward putting her head against the door as best she could despite her velvet covered horns, she just wanted to go to sleep and forget that she'd seen this. She would apologise for her actions in the morning because she knew better than to do what she'd just done and she knew that she looked like some kind of perverse stalker watching in places she shouldn't be.

8

Gabrielle moved her hand slowly through the wheat field which was reflecting like gold in the warm sun light. She knew where she was she was in the vast wheat fields of Olynthus she recognised the old structure of the wind mills whose huge white sails were turning under the clear blue sky. She took in a deep breath feeling the light warm breeze on her face. She turned looking in the other direction eyeing the village which was close by her gaze drifted to the sea bellow as it crashing up against the white sandy beach which was empty. Why was she here? She was clearly in a dream and like most of her dreams she knew they were dreams, but the ones in which she knew she was awake were always the worst. There was normally blood and dead bodies as well as screaming yet this dream was completely different all around her was the clear blue sky and beautiful scenery and even the sound of crashing waves and the smell of rich sea air. She breathed in painful none of this felt right on any level she never had a pleasant waking dream ever and the rest of the time she preferred to have dreams where it was dark and she didn't remember anything.

"That's the Gabrielle I fell in love with always questioning always thinking things though."

Gabrielle turned around sharply only to freeze as Damokles came in to view he was wearing his bronze armour the same armour he'd been wearing the day he'd left. He had a wide smile on his face and his light blue eyes were catching the sun light, she felt her heart hit her stomach but it wasn't him it was an illusion in a dream and nothing more. She felt her teeth grind together as her anger started to boil up in her stomach. "Oh that's great, real great! It's not like my dreams don't torment me enough now you're in them!" Damokles smiled as he took a step closer to her. "Do you remember what I told you Gabrielle that those who have died can speak in to the living through their dreams?" Gabrielle felt a cold sneer form. "What are you saying that you're really Damokles and you're talking to me right now in my dream?"

Damokles smiled moving closer to her so he was standing over her as he became serious. "Yes I am the real Damokles." He eased up his hand so she could see the bronze ring on his finger. "I can prove it to you, you buried me under the apple tree in the Empress's royal garden, you told my mounted body that when I left, you always thought that I'd walk back through your door." He felt a smile form. "You also put my ring back in place before you set my soul free." He calmly lowered his hand ignoring the utter shock as it spread across her face. "And just before you fell asleep tonight you found the Empress in the arms of a gladiator who was giving her pleasure." He raised an eyebrow. "You were a little jealous." Gabrielle felt the rush of painful emotion it squeezed at her heart painfully as she looked at him. "It's you." She felt the tears as they started to run down her face as the truth hit home hard. It was Damokles everything he'd said was the truth and there was no denying it, he was here in her dream speaking softly to her.

She looked up only to freeze as his hands found both sides of her face as he leaned forward gently kissing her lips he pulled away as he used his thumb to wipe her tears away. Damokles breathed in deeply as he looked at her. "Please don't cry, you know I never liked it when you cry." Gabrielle eased up her hands up taking hold of his lowered them gently. "I missed you so much." Damokles felt his smile turn to wide grin. "I've missed you as well you set my soul free it had been trapped inside that mounted body for so long." Gabrielle breathed in deeply putting a hand on his face unable to stop her actions as it all felt so real. "Who murdered you, was it Bastiaan?" Damokles shook his head sadly. "I didn't see Gabrielle, it was night the last thing I remember was looking up at the moon then nothing, they came up behind me it was very quick they were clearly a skilled murderer."

He raised his hand running it gently through her shoulder length blonde hair. "The next thing I remember was waking up in that mounted body and being trapped there, being able to see out at the world but unable to do anything, none of this matter now though because my soul is free to sour and I had to visit you. When I was trapped I could still see you in the back of my mind living out your life after my death." He shook his head. "I saw that you were missing me and I saw you with Adrienne and how unhappy you were and how she treated you." Gabrielle breathed in sharply. "Adrienne was not my choice Damokles she was forced up on my by the council, I hated her so much she made my life so miserable." Damokles put a hand gently on her face. "You can do so much better than her Gabrielle, she was always beneath you and you deserve to be with someone who loves you."

Gabrielle breathed in painfully running her hand down his chest plate. "I don't want to be with anyone else I want to be with you maybe I can bring you back I could make a deal with my goddess." Damokles shook his head as he took hold of her hand. "No Gabrielle, my time here is over and the Greek gods have other plans for me. Your goddess also has plans for you, my journey in this life has come to an end, but yours is about to truly begin." Gabrielle breathed in painfully. "I don't want you to leave I need you here with me." Damokles slowly met her forest green eyes. "I will be here with Gabrielle always, I'll be watching over you and I'll visit you again in your dreams when the time is right." He breathed in as she wrapped her arms around him he pulled her close breathing in the smell of her hair. "I just want you to be happy, I want you to live on and be loved Gabrielle you deserve that."

Gabrielle squeezed tighter not wanting to let go. "No one will ever love me the way you did." Damokles breathed in deeply. "Oh Gabrielle you shouldn't think like that, you're a very beautiful woman and your heart has always been in the right place." He paused before speaking. "I want you to be happy and I want you to enjoy the rest of your life and be with someone who loves you the way I do." Gabrielle moved up to his lips kissing him unable to stop herself. "Please I'm begging you don't let me wake up just yet, I want to stay here with you." Damokles smiled sadly as he eased his hand through her hair watching as it spilt through his fingers. "We all have to wake up Gabrielle and you need to wake up now."

Gabrielle felt her eyes snap open as she sat bolt up right in bed saying the words aloud before she could stop herself as she raised her hand. "No!" She stayed still for a moment before lowering her hand feeling the sweat and it dripped down her face. She blinked looking around her realizing that she was back in her room in the palace and that Damokles was truly gone from her dream. She could see the first rays off dawns light through the curtains it was early very early and she'd probably only just changed back to her human form. She pulled the cover up slightly over her naked chest pulling up her knees unable to stop the flow of tears as put her hands on her face, why did her dreams have to torment her so?

She'd been standing there with Damokles and now he was gone once more fading back in to memory. If he had truly visited her from the dead it just made her feel even worse, it was like holding a gleaming silver cup in her hand only to watch it turn to sand as it spilt through her fingers. She felt her tears come all the harder as the pain of the emotions truly caught up with her. She hadn't wanted to wake up she'd wanted to stay with him! What was this some sick twisted joke by her own goddess to make her remember all that she lost as well as the one thing she didn't have which was the love of another to keep her warm at night? She breathed in painfully trying to stop her tears she needed to get up she needed to go somewhere, any where but her own room so she could clear her head.

End of part 45

Silvermoonlight

Xena in this story cannot have children as she has a condition called blocked fallopian tubes, though this is a curable condition in modern day society it would have been out of the reach of the ancients to cure. For any one who has read Up On The Reaches Of The Darkest Moonlight you might recognise Calicos as he was a villain who was helping Ares in that story :)