Chapter 21

Disclaimer: As always I own no rights to Sons of Anarchy – All rights belong to Kurt Sutter/Sutter Ink/FX.

"Do I understand that he has to protect his child? I can't believe he just asked me that," thought a rattled Amanda. Sliding off the table top Amanda pushed past Abel, rushing towards the pick-up truck. Reaching her about mid-way across the lot, Abel grabbed her by the right arm and spun her around. Past fears rising Amanda shouted "Don't" as her left hand struck Abel across the cheek. Shaking her head to clear the unwanted memories and lingering fear, she jerked from his grasp. Amanda looked at her wrist and then at him. Backing away from him, "don't," she mumbled.

"Manda Lynn….would you slow down a damn minute and talk to me." Abel demanded. Standing with her back to him – her hand hovering just above the door handle, Amanda turned. "Really you want to talk?" she asked sarcastically. Turning away from the truck, she noticed Maria standing in the clubhouse doorway watching with great interest. Anger and hurt warred for supremacy inside her, gesturing wildly towards the clubhouse "maybe you should go talk to her," she suggested struggling in vain to keep her emotions in check and out of her voice. Glancing briefly over his shoulder, Abel wasn't surprised to see Maria standing in the doorway watching them.

Climbing into the front seat of the truck, Amanda slid the key into the ignition. She would not let herself to breakdown in front of Abel. She felt the tears threatening to break through, she knew she had to get away soon.

Turning back to the truck, Abel placed his hand on the open window ledge "Amanda…" his thoughts trailing off unsure what to say or do next.

Smiling sad and all too brief Amanda touched his hand and whispered "don't Abel…just don't not now…Please?"

Giving in Abel stepped back from the pick-up, watching as Amanda sped from the TM lot. Anyone watching would have thought the hounds of hell themselves were chasing Amanda the way she rushed out of the lot. Watching until she and the truck were out of sight – Abel headed back towards the clubhouse and Maria.

Driving down the road, Amanda allowed the tears to fall. Thank God, she hadn't actually caught them in bed together – she didn't think she could have handled that. Yet the guilt that painted Abel's face when he first saw her said it all. For the first time in weeks Amanda questioned if coming home to Charming was the right decision. Stopping at a red light, she looked around the cab of the truck. Laughing ironically it occurred to her that she was running away from Abel in his truck. Pulling the hair tie from her hair, she enjoyed the breeze blowing through her long locks. Driving around town aimlessly for nearly an hour, Amanda seemed somehow unsure how she arrived at St. Thomas. Parking the truck, she sat staring at the hospital entrance for more than five minutes. She could only imagine how she must look to those passing by. Shaking herself she looked into the rearview mirror. The tears had finally stopped – leaving her face red and splotchy. 'Real attractive,' she thought rummaging through her purse looking for something – anything that would help repair the mess the tears made. Reaching the bottom of her purse, she found a small tube of liquid make-up. Grateful, she looked in the rearview mirror and hastily applied the make-up. Throwing the tube back in her bag, she gave herself one last cursory glance in the mirror. Looking around the truck she spotted Abel's reaper crew ball cap on the seat beside her. Snatching up the cap she pulled her hair through the back of it. Deciding that she was at the very least presentable, she headed into St. Thomas. Stepping into the elevator she headed towards Tara's office.

Standing outside of the office, Amanda hesitated. Giving in to her moment of doubt, she gave into second and third guesses. 'What am I doing?' she thought with a self-depreciating smile. 'This is a mistake, I should talk to Tara another day.' With that thought in mind, she turned and stared down the long white sterile hallway towards the elevator she had just exited moments before. Before she could debate over it any further the office door opened. "Amanda, what a nice surprise – I didn't expect to see you here today." Looking at her watch Tara moved out of the doorway, "I have a few minutes before the weekly staff meeting – come in."

Amanda walked inside the small but tastefully decorated office. She remembered being in this office with Abel once or twice back in high school. As she looked around, she realized that not much had changed over the years; sure there was new carpet and paint, but the feeling was still the same – 'safety.' Crossing the office, she stood in front of the old book case. She remembered Abel telling her once that Tommy, Jax, and him spent close to a month building that case for Tara when she moved into this office. An array of family photos lined the shelves alongside various medical texts. There were pictures Jax, Gemma, Abel, Tommy, Rachael, and of course the brotherhood. Amanda noted one photo in particular Jax and Tara dancing at their wedding. Neither of them was looking at the camera. They were both lost in the moment – in each other's eyes. The love spread across Jax's face made Amanda's heart hurt. After this morning, she felt like damaged goods. She wondered if any man would ever look at her like that.

Removing her lab coat, Tara sat on the edge of her desk watching the younger woman. After a few moments Tara bridge the silence "Amanda is everything all right?"

With one last glance at the old photo Amanda turned to face her; a smile albeit a sad one lighting her face. Moving away from the book case, Amanda took a sit in front of Tara's desk. As she watched the motherly concern play out across Tara's face – she decided to keep things neutral for the time being. "What – oh yeah! No, everything's fine. I actually just came by to talk to you about Rachael, I was wondering if you still needed help before and after school. Since the accident and everything you and I haven't really had the chance to talk much – you know."

Tara watched the younger woman carefully. Call it mother's intuition if you like, but she knew there was something more going on with the girl than she wanted to admit. Considering the possibilities, her mind immediately flashed to Abel or her parents as the reason the poor looked like something the cat dragged in. She thought of pressing the girl to open up, but decided to wait. 'If she wants to talk – she'll come to me,' she thought

"I actually talked with Neeta this morning. As it turns out she's going to need to be away at least another month. So if you still want the job it's yours on just one condition."

Leery of any strings or conditions, Amanda eyed Tara skeptically for a long moment before continuing, "What 'condition?' she asked wearily.

'Damn, if she doesn't remind me of myself at that age, just that me against the world look in her eye,' "I've seen your work – the tat's you designed for my son. The smiley face you did for Happy. I think you have talent. The local tattoo shop is looking for another artist. I want you to apply."

Standing to pace the small office, Amanda was shocked; sure she had shown her sketches to Tara before, but that was back before graduation. Back then she and Tara talked about her becoming a tattoo artist – maybe one day something more. What did Tara mean by 'the tats for Abel' she made it sound it like Abel was sporting more than one of her designs. And why did the thought of Abel wearing her designs permanently etched into his skin have the butterflies working overtime in her stomach? Unsure how to proceed, Amanda watched Tara for several silent moments, before continuing "Are you serious? I've never worked in a real shop before. I have very limited – actual tattoo training. Why would they hire me?"

Placing her hand on her shoulder, Tara smiled "you're a very talented young woman. I spoke with the owner earlier today. He said that if you came in with your portfolio he would check it out. If everything looks good he would be willing to offer you an apprenticeship. You could get the experience you needed…who knows maybe someday you'll be running the show over there."

Tara could see the ideas forming and spinning in Amanda's head. She pleased that the sparkle that was missing in the young woman's eyes was returning – if even just a little. "Whatta you say Amanda, will you at least go down and talk to him?"

Amanda smiled her first real smile in hours. "Thank-you Tara, this is great!" exclaimed Amanda as she wrapped her arms around Tara for a fierce hug. Stepping back from Tara, Amanda wished and not for the first time that Tara Tellar was actually her mom too.

Looking at her watch, Tara smiled "I need to get moving. My staff meeting starts in five minutes. Can you start today – pick Rachael up afterschool?"

"Yeah, sure – no problem! I'll pick Rachael up and make sure she gets home ok," replied Amanda.

As they walked out of the office and into the sterile white hallway Tara teased "I bet if you hurry you could go and pick up your portfolio – get over to the shop before you have to pick up Rachael."

Placing her hand to her temple – she paused "Gee Doc, it's like you read my mind," she replied with a hint of laughter.

As they approached the elevator, Tara turned to say good-bye. Wrapping Amanda in a brief hug, she whispered "I don't know what had you so upset when you came in earlier, but I'm here if you want to talk – Ok?"

Moving into the open elevator, Amanda smiled "I know – Thanks Tara."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~SOA~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Abel walked into the clubhouse passing Maria without a word. Silently he made his way back down the hall to his room – Maria followed him inside. Silently shutting the door behind them, Maria watched as Abel made his way around the room, changing his shirt, collecting his things from the bedside table. The silence was too much for Maria to continue "What happens now?" she asked.

When several beats passed without a response from Abel, Maria began to wonder if he had heard the question at all. Moving past her to open the door, he responded without so much as a glance in her direction "I keep you and the baby safe," with that said he was off moving back down the hall towards the barroom.

After a moment Maria followed behind 'that's not what I meant' she thought to herself as she entered the barroom behind him.

Abel found Chucky at the bar eating a sandwich with chips. Turning to Maria he instructed "you need to eat something." Turning back to Chucky "You think you can whip up one of those for Maria," he asked. Nodding Abel silently indicated that Maria should have a seat at the bar. Chucky quickly made Maria a roast beef and Swiss sandwich complete with chips. Looking at the sandwich, Maria protested "Abel I'm not really hungry."

Glaring at Maria, Abel smirked "Humor me…huh? Eat!" Opening her mouth to protest further, Maria thought better of it, after thanking Chucky for the sandwich and tucked into eating the make shift breakfast. Looking around the barroom, Abel asked Chucky "You see Jax around here this morning?"

Bobby entered from the kitchen overhearing Abel's question "Jax said that he would be back in about an hour; said that you two should stay put until he returned."

Irritated Abel asked "Did he say where the hell he was going?" Shaking his head, Bobby headed back towards the kitchen "Just that you two should wait here."

Jax entered the clubhouse, just as Maria was finishing the last bit of sandwich "Thank you Chucky I guess I was hungrier than I thought."

Making his way to the young couple, Jax asked Abel to join him in the chapel. Abel promised Maria that he would be right back "just sit tight here with Chucky – this shouldn't take long," he promised. Maria watched as the two men entered the infamous chapel – Abel shutting the door quietly behind him.

Abel turned to Jax for answers "Do we know anything more than we did last night?"

"Something about that phone call has been bothering me all night. I have Juice working on getting us some more intel right now."

"What are you thinking dad?" questioned Abel.

"Race-Trader, that's what they said when they called you."

"Yeah – does that mean something to you?"

"It might" replied Jax, "but until we know for sure I don't know if it's a good idea to leave either of you unprotected."

"Dad…I'm a big boy…I can take care of myself," shot back a slightly irritated Abel.

Shaking his head – rolling his eyes heavenward "Yeah you can, but we don't know what were up against here, until we do we handle this as a club; that means everyone takes extra precautions. Do you understand me Abel?"

Frustration bubbled in Abel hard and hot, "what about Maria? If I know her she's going to want to go home today."

Jax nodded "After last night that's a bad idea. I think you need to convince her she will be safer somewhere else for the time being."

"I'll suggest she go and stay with family for a few days until we can get a handle on this."

Nodding Jax agreed "We need to keep this all real low key – don't want to draw any unnecessary attention to us or Maria."

Standing from the table Abel nodded in agreement "I'll stay in touch let you know when she's settled."

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Amanda took to claiming deep cleansing breaths before grabbing her portfolio off the seat of the truck and heading into the only tattoo shop in Charming. Pushing open the glass store front door, Amanda startled a little as the bells above the door chimed. Once inside she was awed by the amount of sketches and designs covering the walls. Various sketches in all shades and colors, photos of actual work done here in the shop, amazingly detailed photos from trade magazines, pencil sketches, ink sketches, even a few in oil paint all of it shared space on the scarred walls of the parlor. So engrossed with the art covering the walls, Amanda missed the thin, heavily tattooed, gray haired gentleman sitting at the register behind the long oak counter. Clearing his throat "You Amanda?" he asked by way of greeting.

Startled from her oblivious daydreaming Amanda moved to the counter "Yes…I'm Amanda…you must be Freddie."

Clearing space on the counter, "Let's see what you got," Freddie smiled indicating the rather large portfolio she carried.

Outside of Abel, his mother, and one or two others – Amanda had never publicly shared her work before. She could feel the nervous energy coursing through her body; she felt as if any minute she was going to be violently sick, her hands would not quiet shaking. She did not realize until this very moment how much she really wanted this. Laying her portfolio across the counter, she waited anxiously as Freddie thumbed through her work. Of the more than thirty pieces, many were done with the thought of being strictly tattoos; however, there were several pieces done that were done simply as artistic renderings.

Closing the portfolio Freddie smiled, "You've got talent kid, do you have any actual shop experience?"

Amanda smiled, pleased that he liked her work. The question about experience had her nerves increasing through the roof. "I've done a few tats for friends…privately, but no…I have no real shop experience." She knew that Tara had talked to Freddie – put in a good word for her as it were. She wished she could get a read on him – have a sense of which way he was leaning. The suspense of the next few minutes was surely going to be the death of her.

Quickly thumbing her folio once more Freddie sighed. Watching Amanda carefully, Freddie seemed to be sizing her up – silently taking her measure. "You got real talent here…" he began rather quietly before telling her the apprenticeship was hers if she wanted it.

Amanda was overjoyed at the news. The weight those words lifted from her shoulders made her feel like a little girl on Christmas morning. Freddie told her to come in tomorrow about noon and they would work out a schedule for her.

Racing for the truck, Amanda felt on top of the world. Pulling out of the small parking lot, Amanda was giddy with excitement me. She simply could not wait to share her news with everyone. Reaching across the cab of the truck she grabbed her cell phone. She would wait and talk to Tara after she came home, but she could call Katie right now.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~SOA~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Abel found Maria waiting at the bar. Looking around the barroom, he noticed they were practically alone. "Look Maria…I don't think it's a good idea that you go home alone. You think you could go stay with a friend or family for a few days until we can get a better handle on this?"

Maria looked almost panicked…almost. "Abel I really just want to go home," she pleaded.

"I understand that darlin', I really do, but it's probably not the safest place for you right now. Until we know who or what we're dealing with here I need you someplace safe."

Reading the determination on his face, Maria simply gave in. Thinking to herself "this will all blow over in a few days…I'm sure" "Fine…I'll go stay with my sisters for a few days, but I need to go by my place first and pick up a few things." Relieved that for the moment Maria would be safe; Abel agreed to take her by her place to pack a bag.

Walking across the lot to his bike, Abel handed Maria a helmet. He felt her slide onto the bike behind him. He was unprepared as she slid her long delicate arms around his waist. Riding for any reason had always allowed Abel to clear his head. This trip was one of the few exceptions. The way Maria clung to him; the feel of her face burrowed into his back – he knew last night was a mistake. He cared about Maria – hell maybe in his own way he loved her, but in the end he loved his club more. As they approached her place, he felt her cling just a little tighter. The sensation reminding him of the first time he took Amanda for a ride. She had never been on the back of a bike and she had clung to him so tight. As they pulled into the driveway, he wondered bleakly if he would ever escape the current shit storm that was his life.

Leading them to the porch, Maria dug around in her bag searching for her house keys. Standing behind her and a little to her left, Abel didn't immediately notice that the door was already slightly ajar. Scanning the neighborhood and finding nothing out of the ordinary, Abel turned his attention to Maria. Noticing the door for the first time, Abel cursed "Son of a bitch!"

Looking up from her bag, Maria didn't readily understand what had Abel so upset all of a sudden. As she watched Abel slowly touched the door, causing it to eerily swing open just a little. Gasping in fear – Maria looked to Abel. Motioning for her to get back, Abel pulled the gun he carried at this back and slowly – cautiously entered the house.

He was completely unprepared for the damage that greeted him. Her house had been completely ransacked. The devastation was incredible; the sofa was slashed open – stuffing popping willy-nilly from every cut. The small entertainment center that he had helped put together was lying in the center of the room, the TV oddly still in tack. Her glass in-tables were cracked or shattered completely. Pictures and frames were torn from the walls, replaced with red white hate graffiti.

Moving further into the house, Abel noted that the damage was complete no room was left untouched by the carnage. Assured that the house was indeed empty, Abel stood alone in the center of the kitchen. He noted that the table was overturned; two of the four chairs were broken. The smell of spoiling food strong; someone had obviously emptied much of the refrigerator all over the counter and floor. Surveying the damage Abel momentarily forgot that he had left Maria standing outside waiting.

Author's Note: Twenty One chapters Already – WOW I never thought I would get this far. When I first started writing, I didn't know what to expect. HUGE THANK YOU'S to everyone who has read, review, or added to their favorites - you guys ROCK. You never fail to make me smile.