MY DEEPLY COMPASSIONATE FRIEND

Gabrielle slowly walked down the entrance that led to the royal gardens she had no idea why Xena wanted to see her. Maybe it was about last night but a part of her hoped it wasn't more because she wasn't sure what parts Xena had remembered and what she hadn't. She turned catching sight of the dark haired woman who was sitting on a blanket on the grass just under the huge marble lion's front feet opposite her. She took in a deep breath catching sight of a wicker basket which was next to her she blinked as the older woman gave her a wide smile as she stood up turning to face her, her gentle voice hitting the air. "I was waiting for you I thought that maybe you didn't get my message."

Gabrielle looked up slightly. "I received your message Xena what do you need?" Xena moved closer to her. "I wanted you to join me, I have some food I thought you might be hungry." She paused before speaking. "After all you were up late last night." Gabrielle felt herself tense. "You remember last night?" Xena moved a step closer to her putting both hands gently on her shoulders. "Yes I remember everything that happened last night, very clearly." Gabrielle breathed in sharply. "I'm sorry I had no place being in your room, I was only trying to help you." Xena blinked in surprise she moved her hand gently using it to raise the younger woman's head so their eyes met. "You misunderstand Gabrielle, I wanted to speak with you because I wanted to say thank you. No one has ever stayed in my room or helped me in the way you did last night."

She moved her hand away watching as the green eyes darted in surprise she didn't think as she wrapped her arms around the younger woman's body unable to stop herself. "You stayed and you listened to me and you were so kind to me, even when I was being a drunken fool." Gabrielle breathed in sharply feeling completely out of her element once more which was happening so often now. She hadn't been hugged by anyone in human form in such a long time and it felt so strange. She breathed in feeling unsure as to what to do or say as the other woman's grip tightened further. She could break free but she didn't want to, she knew it would come of as impolite and rude and she realized that Xena was very open with her emotionally. It was just the way she was with her close friends she slowly put her arms around her back. "You weren't being a drunken fool you were just unhappy and if I had, had the same thing befall me I'd feel just as depressed."

Xena kept hold of her she knew she was holding this hug for longer than she should do but she didn't care. "You're a really kind person Gabrielle I wish that you hadn't been forced to endure so much pain in your life." Gabrielle took a sharp breath. "You can't change fate Xena." Xena let go off her pulling away gently feeling a sad smile form. "No I can't but I hope that your life here in the palace is nice." She paused before speaking. "Are you happy here Gabrielle?" Gabrielle felt her eyes dart that wasn't a question she'd been expecting. She looked up slightly. "Yes I'm happy here, I like my life here in your palace I have friends here." Xena slowly sat down on the rug watching as Gabrielle did the same the uncertainty in her eyes. "I gave you freedom you could have left, why didn't you leave?" Gabrielle shook her head slightly. "I didn't leave because I have no friends back in the Grand City and I don't want to be there, the place feels like a cage and I'm just feel like puppet and those Imperial Council bastards are my puppeteers."

Xena shifted closer to her. "You have no one, not even loyal followers?" Gabrielle put her hands together. "I have many loyal followers the problems is I can't trust their loyalty while the Imperial Council rules." She looked up slightly. "They've always ensured that the people watching me or influencing me are loyal to them and not to me. If they killed the Crescent Hind before me I cannot risk going back to the city I'd be risking my life." Xena eased out a pottery jug which had warm hot chocolate in it she picked up a bronze goblet pouring it in, it was slightly cold now and not as warm as it had been. She looked up slightly as she passed the goblet to Gabrielle who took it. "That makes a lot of sense I wouldn't risk my life ether with them around. They clearly do nothing for your people but cause them suffering."

Gabrielle lowered her gaze to the floor. "Damokles was always there for me, he had such great vision." Xena shifted a little closer to her. "I remember the story you told me last night about how you two first came to be together, he sounds like such a kind man." Gabrielle eased up her hand slightly. "He was older than me and so much more experienced in everything and I was still young but he always knew what to say to make it right." She adjusted her shirt collar absentmindedly. "I always doubted myself but he was always there to guide me and make me feel better." She paused as a faint memory came back in to her mind one which she'd almost forgotten. "He brought out the best in me even when I couldn't see the best in myself."

8

Damokles turned down the long corridor that led to Gabrielle's home he stopped in front of the wooden door which unlike all the others doors was decorated with a large wooden carving above the handle which was the same symbol she wore around her neck. He had to admit this was the first time he'd ever been to her living quarters they spend a lot of their time together in side his living space. He knocked on the door most of the time they just kissed and talked other times it was sleeping together. It had been a three weeks since Mount Nessus and he didn't regret a thing, he had kissed her then they had slept with each other in the tent, it felt like a moment he'd been waiting for all his life, at least that's how it felt to him.

He felt a smile form as she opened the door. "You know we were meant to go to lunch together." Gabrielle lowered her gaze opening her door, somehow she felt subconscious of anyone being in room, no one ever came in here, she didn't have guests and she didn't entertain. She watched as he walked inside as she closed the door behind him forcing the long locking wooden mechanism across. Damokles looked around him at the small room. It had a thick goose feathered mattress its wooden head frame had two carved griffins coming together in battle. There were two beautifully crafted chairs and a large desk which had many wood crafting tools and bits and pieces of wood on it as well as pages of sketches which looked like concept drawings for designs.

At the far side of the room was a heavy armour stand where Gabrielle's armour was propped up on display while her clothing was neatly piled up in opposite corner. On the other side of the room was the cooking area and bathing area. He breathed in what beautiful things she had, she clearly had good taste. "You have a magnificent room, where did you buy all this beautifully crafted wooden furniture?" Gabrielle lowered her gaze. "I didn't buy it I made it, all of it." Damokles looked up sharply. "You made all of this?" Gabrielle walked over to the desk ignoring her open chest which was full of failed experiments working in wood. "Yes I did, my father was a carpenter, he taught me everything I know even when I came here I never gave it up. Plus why buy it when you can build it my self?"

Damokles walked over to the desk eyeing the design she'd drawn out which was some kind of bird with opening hinged wings. "What this?" Gabrielle moved over eyeing the drawings. "Its nothing it's just something I was working on, it's not finished." Damokles put his hand on the sketch. "So you're creating a bird with opening wings how fascinating, you should carry on I would love to see it when it's finished." He smiled as he moved a hand through her long blonde hair. "You are quite the dark horse, why didn't you tell anyone you could do this?" Gabrielle breathed in deeply adjusting her shirts collar. "I did when I first started my training but they said my old life didn't matter anymore." She breathed in painfully. "It always mattered to me, so I kept on doing it despite becoming a warrior."

Damokles shook his head. "Well I think it's wonderful." He paused remembering what it was he had to tell her. "The Crescent Hind has passed away." Gabrielle lowered her head. "I know I heard this morning." Damokles turned her around slowly. "You met him once though he spoke to you I remember you telling me." Gabrielle breathed in deeply. "We had nothing good to say to one another Damokles, he was a decadent bastard who didn't care that he couldn't change things." Damokles eased her head up so their eyes met. "I get the impression you always want to change things." Gabrielle looked at him for a long moment. "I'm just a warrior I don't have that kind of power."

Damokles met her lips feeling her respond. "You shouldn't doubt yourself Gabrielle, everything is possible." Gabrielle felt him move her back towards the bed she felt a smile form. "You really believe that?" Damokles pushed down gently on to the bed moving on top of her. "I believe everything's possible Gabrielle." Gabrielle breathed in feeling him slowly unbutton her shirt she moved her hand unbuttoning his thick belt. "I love you Damokles." Damokles felt a smile form as he met her lips. "I Love you to Gabrielle." He breathed in as he felt her hands move under his shirt gods he loved this woman so damn much he would do anything for her.

8

Gabrielle watched as Xena cut the bread in two with a knife passing a piece to her. "I was never alone when he was around." Xena took the cheese handing it to the younger woman. "I miss my husband in the same way despite that I ended his life after he betrayed me." Gabrielle picked up her bread putting the creamy cheese on it. "Its funny how you miss them despite everything." She looked up slightly. "The Imperial Council told me that Damokles left me for another woman who was in another werewolf city." Xena looked up sharply. "They told you that?" Gabrielle nodded sadly before taking a bite out of her bread. "Yes they did and I believed them maybe its fate that I should see him again in your throne room because once I read the that scroll you gave me I knew it was all a lie."

She took another bite from her bread. "He never left me, he was taken from me." Xena took a low sip from her hot chocolate which was honey sweetened. "Thank you for telling me about Damokles last night, it was nice to hear that you were happy." She paused thinking her next question through carefully. "When did you stop smiling, when did you stop being happy Gabrielle was it when he vanished from your life?" Gabrielle eyed her for a long moment before speaking. "Yes it was when he left but I really don't want to talk about it right now." She looked up slightly. "Thank you though for listening last night I assumed that you might have been to drunk to remember." Xena smirked as she took a bite out of her bread. "I tend to remember everything the day after it's always crystal clear."

She put down her goblet. "I really wanted to ask you about that remedy you left out for me, where did you get it? I mean it's so much better than that vile white powder I get from Rome." Gabrielle looked up as she finished her bread. "It's an old werewolf recipe, you see werewolves do tend to drink a lot so a healer developed it centuries ago it's a very common remedy as it tastes nice and your headache goes away slowly." Xena raised an eyebrow. "Where did you learn it?" Gabrielle picked up her goblet finishing the hot chocolate. "Damokles taught it to me." Xena sat up slightly. "But you don't drink I've never seen you drink." Gabrielle put down the goblet. "No I don't drink but the warriors in my unit did drink a lot I used to make it a lot after victory celebrations."

Xena slowly met her gaze. "You never joined the celebrations though did you?" Gabrielle looked up slightly. "No I just used to watch the whole thing quietly while I cleaned my armour and sword. Alcohol has never done anything for me it doesn't even make me happy." Xena looked down slightly. "I'm sorry for pointing out last night that you smoke opium that was not my place since I drink too much." Gabrielle raised her hand. "I do smoke opium I'm not proud of it it's an addictive habit I only do it when I feel depressed, the rest of the time I smoke Coltsfoot to keep myself relaxed." Xena picked up a boiled quail egg passing her one watching as she took it. "I know what its like to do that Gabrielle I drink when I'm feeling down it's very hard to kick the habit."

Gabrielle nodded as she met her gaze. "Some habits are difficult to get rid off as much as you try." Xena blinked that was a very honest statement and a very truthful one she felt a smile form feeling the need to change the subject. "I hope Demetrius has talked you through the meeting tomorrow." Gabrielle paused before speaking. "Yes he has, I wanted to say thank you for allowing me to sit next you in the meeting with Abraxas." Xena finished the quail's egg she was eating. "It's to show that you have the same rights as any Greek citizen, but please don't say who you are I'd like Abraxas to get his sandal firmly shoved down the back of his throat before I reveal to him who you really are. The man hates me because I had his brother hung but I had no choice he was stealing from my coffers and making my people poor."

She shook her head sadly. "It took me half a season to fix the damage he did in Corinth I had to pull down three dirt ridden slums which he'd made for my people and build proper housing in their place it was very costly. I hate forcing up the weekly taxes it's very unpopular among the people and I came very close to doing so." She eased out some fresh fruit tossing a red apple to the younger woman who caught it. "I assume you have a similar tax system in the Grand City?" Gabrielle crunched down on the red apple enjoying the sweet flavour. "It's similar the only difference is that taxes are not weekly their monthly and the Imperial Council hates me because I lowered them substantially. I did it on purpose though because I knew they were taking money for themselves to feed there descendant habits and the money isn't theirs it should be used to help the people by making their homes better and building stronger tunnels which can help with trade."

Xena slowly pealed her orange. "Well in my opinion you did the right thing, it's a leader duty to take care of the welfare and lives of his or her people." Gabrielle lowered her gaze. "I'm not a great leader I just try to right the wrongs done by the Imperial Council." Xena slowly chewed on an orange piece. "Putting things right is what matters Gabrielle." She watched as the other woman took a bite from the apple. "I know you like birds." Gabrielle blinked as she met the other woman's gaze she wasn't very sure as to where this conversation was going. "Yes I love birds." Xena took another piece of orange chewing on it. "What's your favourite bird, I mean if you could have one?"

Gabrielle raised both eyebrows in confusion. "Why are you asking?" Xena shrugged slightly. "I'm just curious." Gabrielle looked at her half finished apple. "I've always wanted a Collared Dove but getting hold of one is hard, their very popular and expensive there meant to be very good pets when tamed. Their different and I've always liked that little black collar around their necks it's very charming." She put her hands together. "Speaking of birds I owe you an apology since I was the one who eat one of your Peacocks." Xena laughed slightly. "You know if I'm honest I was never unhappy about that, I don't really like them anyway, they were a present from a rich diplomat. Frankly there noisy annoying birds that get on my nerves, I only keep them in the garden because the palace children love them."

Gabrielle shook her head. "Now I just feel even worse, the children probably have names for all the birds and eat one of their friends." Xena raised an eyebrow. "Don't feel bad Gabrielle." She raised her hand. "I have to ask, why did you ate my Peacock?" Gabrielle shrugged her shoulders. "I was hungry and it was a starving hunger like nothing I'd ever experienced in my life and that was the first thing I saw in werewolf form, so I eat it." Xena felt a smile form. "If you're hungry you're hungry, plus I can replace that Peacock it's not a big deal." Gabrielle felt her half smile form. "Trust me I won't be eating anymore of your Peacocks as a rule I don't eat wild birds only ones that are farmed like quail and chicken."

Xena finished her orange she moved her hand over gently putting her it on Gabrielle's ignoring her surprise. "Would you like to join me for dinner after the meeting tomorrow? I'd very much like your company." Gabrielle felt her gaze dart once more the woman's light blue eyes were staring in to her in a way that felt like she was looking in to her soul. It was so difficult to break away it was such an intense stare which matched her dead lovers loving gaze so much, she lowered her gaze to the floor. Once again she was seeing things that weren't there and would never be there.

This woman saw her only as a friend she would never want her as a lover because she wasn't human and this was nothing more than a dinner invite. She breathed in speaking calmly. "Yes I'll join you for dinner." Xena felt her smile turn to a wide grin. "That's good I'll make sure that the meals interesting I promise." Gabrielle stood up slowly it was time to leave she had over stayed her welcome. "Thank you for the food and drink." She breathed in sadly why was she beating herself up over what would never be? She had no sexual feelings for this woman though she wouldn't lie to herself she was very attractive and beautiful but there was a big gap between reality and delusion and she was being delusional. She was only thinking this way because deep down inside she knew that she was lonely.

On top of this she didn't want another relationship with another woman she didn't want to go through the pain that her last one had caused her. She wasn't ready to go through that all over again it hurt too much to be nothing more than some other woman's bed warmer and bragging item. She also didn't have that level off trust anymore since there had been so much pain and loss in her life she didn't want to experience that all over again. Xena looked up slightly she could see that the other woman's whole behaviour had changed quite suddenly. She seemed so sad and that sadness was just echoing out from her eyes. "Are you all right Gabrielle?" Gabrielle snapped out of her thoughts as she turned to the other woman who stood up slowly. "I'm fine I should let you get on with your day."

Xena narrowed her gaze. "I have nothing to do this morning you're not imposing on me." Gabrielle turned slightly. "Thank you but I need to get back to my workshop I have something I need to finish." Xena blinked in confusion as she watched her turn and walk away, she had no idea what had caused the sudden change in Gabrielle's mood. She watched as she vanished from site the younger woman was a complete mystery at times. It was true that she was happier but she still wouldn't smile fully or even laugh and she still kept things to her self and never said how she felt. It was almost as though she was uncertain about opening up fully because of what might be said. They hadn't really gotten off on the right foot to start with and now they were both finding their feet, despite now being friends.

She took in a deep breath as she looked around her maybe what would make Gabrielle happy was if she had a pet again. She'd found it odd that after the death of her first pet she'd never asked for another maybe it was because she feared loosing it again. What had she said she wanted again? That's right a Collared Dove, if that was what she wanted then she should have one she didn't care how expensive one was, she'd make sure that she got one. She didn't care about splashing out money on her ether if it meant that she was happy. Every item in her room which she'd requested she'd ensured was the best money could buy, in truth it had been a long time since she'd taken the time to do this for anyone

Giving Gabrielle everything she wanted just felt like second nature to her and it just felt so right in her heart and it wasn't just because of Gabrielle's hard life, no it felt like much more than that. She didn't do it because she wanted her approval or even to win her over she did it because when she saw that Gabrielle was happy, it made her feel happy. Why shouldn't an attractive and stunning woman like her be happy? She deceived so much and yet she had received so little though out her life and she wanted to give her it now more than ever.

End of part 52

Silvermoonlight