GRATITUDE WITH OUT EQUAL

Iona moved her feet forward trying to ignore the dull pain in her chest, gods it felt like forever since she'd seen beyond her bedroom window. Despite that her ribs were healed they still hurt and her arm ached despite that she could now move it fully. She looked at the afternoon sun as she adjusted her shirt leaning against one of the pillars close to kitchen in the royal garden. Normally she never spent any time in the royal garden, flowers and trees had never interested her but today was her first day out of her bedroom and being anywhere felt good right now. She'd never cared for nature come to think off it she'd never cared for anything her life had always been about killing.

She breathed in deeply the truth was that she'd never done anything but kill people it was all she really knew how to do and it was all she was good at. Yet now she just felt depressed she'd been feeling this depression for the last week or so maybe it was because no one had visited her. Demetrius has visited now and again but he had been very formal. He'd asked her about her injuries and how they were healing but they didn't talk about anything else besides that. Did everyone else in the palace hate her that much, hence why none of them had visited her? Clearly they all did because of what she'd done to Gabrielle but the thought of everyone hating her made her feel truly alone.

She had spent a lot of time in the healers bed going over her actions in the throne room she knew why she'd done them. She'd done what she'd done because she wanted get the Empress's attention. She wanted her to look at her and being impressed just once because she never did that to her. She was always far more impressed by Demetrius he was her favourite. She breathed in sadly that was what all her actions with Gabrielle had been about she had wanted to be like her so she could be stronger and more powerful. Then she could win the Empress's approval and she'd seen Gabrielle as her means to achieving that. Thinking back over her actions, she had been foolish she had lied and she was lucky to still have any position off power.

Yet the truth remained she could never have the power she wanted Gabrielle for all intensive purposes was sterile and couldn't make anymore werewolves through biting and scratching. She took in a deep painfully breath she'd never have the Empress's approval only Demetrius would ever have that. She would forever be watching him gain all the compliments and all the praise while she just stared back from the sidelines. She sneered moving towards the training post easing her sword free. She didn't think as she swung it watching as it hit the wood only to feel the stinging pain in her arm which caused her to cry out in pain as she let go off her weapon which clattered as it hit the ground.

She leaned down to pick it up only to stop as the pain went through her arm she grabbed her sleeve leaning against the post waiting for the intense pain to pass. She looked down watching as a hand appeared grabbing her sword she looked up slowly watching as Chara came in to view. The other woman was holding her sword at the hilt her face was emotionless. She stood up fully. "Give me my sword." Chara moved the weapon out of her reach not bothering to hide the sarcasm in her tone. "It's nice to see that you're up and about but clearly you're not healed fully." Iona narrowed her gaze. "I'm well enough." She moved her hand forward clicking her fingers. "My sword." Chara eyed the weapon. "You and I have something to discuss first."

Iona breathed in sharply. "What would that be Chara?" Chara put the weapon behind her back. "Since it's clear that you know about my relationship with Evadine, how's about you stay away from her, it's me you don't like she's never caused you any ill will." Iona looked at her for a long moment she opened her mouth getting ready to say something rude only to stop. She folded her arms feeling the pain lessen in her arm as she spoke. "Is it nice?" Chara raised an eyebrow. "Is what nice?" Iona breathed in deeply. "Having someone to sleep with at night?" Chara rolled her eyes. "She's not my bed warmer she's my lover, I'd do anything for her!" Iona raised her hand. "Even die for her?"

Chara looked up slightly. "Yes I'd die for her, its something you wouldn't understand since all you do is kill people and you've never saved anyone." Iona looked up slightly allowing those words to sink in Chara was right about that and she wasn't too proud to admit it ether, her whole life had been about killing she'd never know anything else. She put a hand on her sword arm moving it gently as she spoke. "You know you'd have made a great warrior Chara, you're very focused on what you want." Chara blinked in surprise she wasn't sure if the comment was an insult or a compliment she eased the sword forward pushing it in to the other woman's chest watching as she took hold of the hilt. "I don't want to be a warrior that's your job."

Iona gripped her sword hilt tightly. "If you tell me what its like to be with someone then I'll never touch Evadine as long as I live." Chara breathed in deeply before speaking. "It's a nice feeling Iona to have someone who loves you, there's nothing that can compare with the feeling." Iona looked at her for a long moment seeing the seriousness in her face she watched as the other woman turned away. She pulled up her hand. "Wait a moment." Chara turned slowly to meet her gaze. "What is it?" Iona breathed in stepped away from the post. "Tell me the truth does everyone in this palace hate me?" Chara blinked that was a surprising question and not one she had expected to hear from Iona, she met her dark gaze. "Yes Iona people dislike you, some hate you but that's because of what did to Gabrielle when you paraded her around in front of the royals."

Iona narrowed her gaze. "And you?" Chara looked up slightly. "I don't like you Iona and not just because of what you did to Gabrielle, but because of the way in you act in general. You have no respect for life, anyone's life its like nothing matters to you, you don't care for the suffering you cause others or the way you act when they loose loved ones. You have no emotion you just shrug it off like their death doesn't matter, you did it to me when my father died and it hurts." She turned away watching as Iona lowered her head in thought. "Now if you'll excuse me I have to get back to work."

Iona looked up watching as she walked away disappearing from site she slowly put her sword back in to its scabbard. She looked up catching sight of Demetrius who was coming towards her with a scroll in his hand. He came to a stop in front of her his face remained emotionless as he spoke in an even tone. "Nice to see you're finally well enough to walk around." He eased up the scroll. "These are your rules from know on." Iona took the scroll opening it slowly. "My rules?" Demetrius nodded he hated to do this to Iona but he knew that it was necessary. "As the Empress has told you, you'll be spending more time with me from now on, I'm going to teach you honour and discipline and you'll be training with me."

Iona looked at the scroll. "I don't understand, in the Empress's meetings tomorrow it says that I'm not going to be there but you are." Demetrius nodded as he looked up. "Gabrielle will be protecting the Empress as your not a hundred per cent yet." Iona stared at him feeling his world freeze all at once, she looked up slightly. "The Empress does not need me?" Demetrius folded his arms. "No the Empress does not need you Iona." Iona felt the pain hit home all at once she slowly re-rolled the scroll that was the truth wasn't it? The Empress hated her along with everyone else, she no longer needed her in meetings, why would she be needed anyway it was clear that Gabrielle was better than her in battle? She'd defeated her so in the Empress's eyes she just seemed like second best and no one ever bothered with anything that was second best.

Clearly the Empress no longer needed her apart from send her away with her men to kill problem people when it suited her. She took in a painful breath all she'd ever wanted was the Empress's approval but now she knew she'd never have it. She'd just fade away in to the background and no one would really care since it was clear now that no one liked her in this palace they all hayed her. She now wished that she'd never gotten out of bed she'd have rather stayed in it feeling alone than getting up and facing the painful truth that she had suddenly become useless. Demetrius looked down catching sight of the open pain in Iona's eyes no doubt it was there because she probably didn't want to spend time with him. He took in a deep breath knowing that she was going to dislike his next move all the more. "Come with me I'm going to start you on drills and your going to spar with me, we need to re strength your arm." He moved watching as she followed saying nothing. A look of complete defeat was showing in her eyes despite but despite her unhappiness she'd made no rude remarks he eyed her as he spoke again. "Then I'll have you run the training ground it should put some muscle back on your body."

8

Xena slowly scribbled down her thoughts on a scroll in her study, it was nothing important just her thoughts on the meeting tomorrow. Frankly she was bored she took a slip from her goblet close by enjoying the sweet flavour of the orange juice. She looked up sharply hearing a knock on the door she stood up slowly she hoped that this was what she thought it was. "Come in." She watched as Evadine walked in to her study she was holding a small wooden box under her arm which had holes in the top and something was making scuffing sounds in side. She had sent Evadine to the market because she knew the pet stores in Corinth better than most people as she owned a pet which was a Fennec Fox.

The other woman put the box gently down in front of her. "I got what you wanted Empress, it was pain to get one as they don't sell them cheap as people find the little black collar very appealing." Xena put her hand on the box. "I told you money was no object and I'll pay you extra for your trouble." She paused eyeing the box. "Is it tame?" Evadine nodded as she looked up. "It's a juvenile and it has the collar but it's not fully defined, it's also been hand reared. They said that this is the best age to sell them as it gives them time to get used to their new owner." She felt a smile form as she looked up. "Is this for Gabrielle?" Xena carefully took hold of the box. "Yes it is its something she really wants."

Evadine felt her smile widen. "I think she'll like this gift a lot, I heard about what happened to her last pet." Xena breathed in deeply. "That was my fault I didn't listen to her when she brought it up, I listened to Iona." Evadine stood up slightly. "Well Iona got what she deserved." Xena kept her hand on the box picking it up being as gentle as possible. "If I ask you a question will you answer me honestly?" Evadine felt her eyes dart the Empress had never asked her a question like this before. "Yes Empress." Xena eyed the box in her hands. "Before the incident with the royals has Iona caused problems for anyone else, her messing up the throne room with her dirty boots aside?" Evadine put her hand on her chin before speaking. "Iona has always been very cold and uncaring she also lacks manners I know Chara has never seen eye to eye with her on the whole."

Xena raised an eyebrow. "So you and Chara are friends?" Evadine breathed in deeply as she lowered her gaze not wanting to meet the other woman's. "Yes we've been good friends for a very long time we became friends after the death of her father." Xena looked at her for a long moment she could tell that she was holding something back about herself and Chara but she saw no reason to push her over it. She knew that everyone had there own personal lives and it was not her business to intrude in them. Maybe she just felt unsure of herself as the both of them had very different positions in the palace Chara's was very high up where as Evadine's was much lower and she was afraid that it would be frowned upon.

Not that she would see it that way she wanted the higher level staff to get on with those bellow their station as it made for good working palace environment. She felt her eyes dart as she thought about Evadine's words about Iona there was a lot of truth in them. Iona was slightly rude at times and she was very cold and unfeeling towards people but then she'd spent her whole life killing people. Her grandfather had been a mercenary and it wasn't very often that she showed her kinder side though it did show itself from time to time it was very rare. In this way putting her with Demetrius had been the best thing to do as they could both learn to get on better and he could bring out her more positive side.

She would not see it this way though she would see it as being forced to follow his orders which she'd never done before as she'd always had a lot of freewill. As soon as she was ready though she'd allow her that freedom back and give her back her full power, but not until she had become a much better and more rounded person who wouldn't lie to gain power. She still didn't understand though why she'd wanted Gabrielle to turn her in to a werewolf it seemed so obscured and strange and it made very little sense to her. She turned to face Evadine. "Thank you for your help I'll make sure that you get extra in your wage." Evadine nodded her head as she stepped back. "Thank you Empress." She paused as she looked up. "I'll let you give Gabrielle her gift." Xena watched as she left the study closing the door behind her, she eyed the box in her hand hearing the scuffing sounds it was time to give Gabrielle her gift.

She walked in to her bedroom then knocking gently on the central door hearing the others woman's calm voice hit the air. "Come in." She carefully opened the door it was dark outside the sun had set two hours ago. She breathed in catching sight of the younger woman she was looking through the curtains out on to her balcony and strangely still in human form the room was surrounded in darkness. She walked in seeing that she had a scroll in her hand and was sketching on it, the only light was coming from a single candle by the bed. She moved closer stopping on the spot as the young woman turned to her iris's reflecting in dim light. She staring at them in the darkness feeling completely memorized, she'd assumed that they only reflected in werewolf form and not in human form. She carried on staring fascinated by the hues and tones which could be seen so clearly in the other woman's eyes, gods they were so beautiful.

Gabrielle narrowed her gaze seeing that Xena was just staring at her and not speaking, she slowly put the scroll and quill on the table opposite. She'd been trying to sketch the shapes of trees so she could put them on the carving behind the hydra and Jason which was for the children. She looked up realizing why it was that Xena was looking at her this way it was because of her eyes reflecting in the darkness. She looked at the older woman who was still staring at her. "Xena?" Xena snapped out of her thoughts she watched as Gabrielle used the candle on the bedside to light the others. She pulled up the box feeling a wide grin form which she knew probably looked like a stupid grin but she didn't care. "I have a gift for you." Gabrielle felt her eyes dart as she looked at the wooden box in her hands which had holes in the top, she eyed the other woman whose smile was as wide as it could possibly be. She carefully took the box from her hand hearing scuffing inside it was an animal without a doubt she looked up sharply. "What is it?" Xena eased up her hand. "Open it and you'll find you." Gabrielle looked down she gently pulled the sliding lid back watching in surprise as a small head looked out which had small round red eyes and a black beak. She blinked in shock as she caught sight of the dark collar around the lower neck it was a Collared Dove a juvenile.

She put the box down gently then lifting it out hearing the gentle cooing sound as she held it up watching as it looked at her, it was clearly tame since it didn't mind being held. She carefully opened one of the wings followed by the other seeing that they hadn't been clipped. She hated clipping on pet birds of any kind she preferred that they could fly free. She looked up staring at Xena who looked uncertain. "You got this for me?" Xena nodded taking a step forward. "Yes I got it just for you, you said you liked Collard Doves." Gabrielle stared at the bird in her hands. "Yes I did I just didn't expect you to get me one." Xena raised an eyebrow. "Well I thought it was only fair considering what happened to your last pet."

Gabrielle felt a smile form but it was a different smile because of how happy she felt, it was a full smile and it felt a little strange even to her but she couldn't help it, she felt so happy right now and she needed to smile. Xena blinked staring at the other woman for a long moment seeing the full smile on her lips which truly lit up her face it also made her look all the more beautiful. Gabrielle put young bird down on the table stroking its back gently with one hand as she turned to the taller woman. "Thank you so much this it means a lot to me." Xena moved forward putting her arms around the other woman's waist pulling her close she no longer cared about doing this it always felt so right to her. "You're welcome." She breathed in smelling the other woman's golden hair which smelt of rich rose water, she felt the younger woman's hands move around her back she wasn't as tense as she had been in the past when she'd hugged her. She paused as she pulled away watching as Gabrielle's green eyes darted. "I wanted to ask you something."

Gabrielle watched as the Collard Dove flew around the room finally landing on one of her bed posts as it looking around curiously. "Of course." Xena eased up her hand. "Phrixus is now starting to understand the language your people speak and he's also translated some more of that huge scroll." She paused feeling uncertain of her next question. "What is that scroll Gabrielle what does it represent to you?" Gabrielle looked up slightly. "The scroll is called the Ethereal Ark Of Fire and its godly or so they say, it was given to the first Horn Hind the Emerald Hind after he killed the tyrant werewolf King Lycaon. He had those who knew him best write his exploits on that scroll. After he died it's said that the scroll grew in size and length and when ever a new Horn Hind is picked it paints their image on it and the history of their life, it's carried on that way for decades. It is even said that the scroll cannot be burnt and once the ink is written it remains and can never be scrubbed off." She lowered her gaze. "I was told by someone that Imperial Council had switched the scrolls and that the one in the Grand City was a fake. I was also told that they tried to hide it because I appeared on it, but they didn't hide it that well as your people found it."

She took in a deep breath. "I will not give it back to them it's far too important and undeserving off their hands and here in side your palace its safe." Xena nodded feeling the understanding take over. "I will do everything in my power to keep that scroll safe in any way I can." She raised her hand. "Would you be able to teach me to read, write and speak your language because I really want to read that scroll and lean about your people's history?" Gabrielle looked up slightly she knew by saying yes she'd be betraying the Imperial Council once more by letting another human learn the language but frankly she didn't care. Everything felt so strange to her now Thaleia and her mother felt more like her surrogate family where as Xena had become a very intimate friend who she could tell private things to which she really didn't want others to know. She felt a wide smile form again. "I'd be more than happy to teach you my races language both spoken and written." Xena moved her hands forward taking hold the other woman's. "Thank you it means a lot to me that you'd take the time to teach it to me."

She paused before speaking. "Have you visited Phrixus at all in this past month?" Gabrielle looked up slightly. "Yes, I've been teaching him how to speak the werewolf language as he really wants to learn about how it sounds." Xena raised an eyebrow. "I'm sure he's in his element with you teaching him." Gabrielle looked up seeing the blue eyes which were looking at her intensely as Xena kept hold of her hands. "He is, he wants to learn more and he's very passionate about it." Xena felt her smile widen. "Would you join me for breakfast tomorrow maybe we can start a lesson then or some other time?" Gabrielle nodded before looking up. "Of course." Xena turned meeting her forest green gaze. "I hope you never leave my palace." She let go of her hands as she stepped back. "It would be very lonely here with out you." Gabrielle breathed in watching as the older woman walked towards the central door the wide smile still on her lips. She felt the full smile form once again as she spoke. "Never, you'd miss me to much." Xena opened the central door keeping her gaze fixed on the other woman's. "Your right I would." She breathed in closing the central door behind her leaning against it, it was so wonderful to see Gabrielle really smile for the first time, it had been so worth the wait to see it, it showed that she was truly happy and finally enjoying her life.

End of part 53

Silvermoonlight