A/N Thank you so much for reading. This story has my heart :-)
"I'm so sorry Beth I know I brought down a whole world a trouble on ya," he started, but she held her hand up and said, "Merle Dixon, you need to quit saying you're sorry all the time, same as you told me. This isn't your fault, this isn't my fault, this is someone else's doing and it's mean and small minded. I know we're not committing any sins, no matter what the gossips say. You have treated Tommy and me so good, and I feel honored to be here," which was great, but then she started to cry. Merle instinctively put his arms around her, he could feel her tense up, but she didn't pull away and then she relaxed into his embrace, "Oh Merle me and Tommy, we're so lucky to have you in our lives. I just don't understand why people are so mean," now she was sobbing. He rubbed her back and bent down and kissed the top of her head, and just kept repeating, "Shhh, little darlin', shhh, it's gonna be alright, it's gonna be alright," then he caressed her face in his hands, looked her in the eye and said, "Beth, you're a good woman, a good mama, I'm sorry little darlin', I truly am," and he continued to embrace her while her crying gradually eased.
Damn, she felt so good in his arms, and he wanted to take the hurt away from her. He wanted to let her know how much he cared about her and Tommy, but it just didn't seem like the right time. He had serious feelings for this woman, and that was something new to him. He'd never had a regular woman, never thought he wanted one, sure as hell never thought he wanted a kid. But since Beth Greene came into his life, that's all he could think that he did want, not just any woman, not just any kid, he wanted Beth and Tommy to be part of his life.
As Merle held her, Beth thought about what Lori had said about Merle. Beth knew she was attracted to Merle but she hadn't really thought he could care for her in that way. She assumed he liked women like Carlotta, big and shapely with plenty of make-up and tightfitting clothes, women who knew how to do the things men liked in the bedroom, and Beth knew she didn't know anything. But the way he held her, the way he spoke so softly to her, she wished there could be something there.
Tommy came in from the bedroom, "Mama, Mur, peepee." Merle just laughed, "That boy has quite the timing."
Merle was firm, "Ya ain't cookin' tanight Beth. Been a nasty day and I don't want ya worryin' 'bout it. I'll cook supper." "But Merle," she began, "Nah," he cut her off, "I said I'd do the cookin'."
Beth was impressed with Merle's dinner. She had never known a man who cooked. He had cooked the squirrel outside on the grill, fried some potatoes and even included vegetables. "This is delicious Merle, thank you so much," she smiled. "Well it ain't the good stuff like you cook Beth, but I reckon it won't kill us," he chuckled.
Merle set Tommy up with a piece of paper and a fat pencil and he was happily making a mess of it while Merle and Beth did the dishes. "You got the grocery list ready for me Beth," he smiled. "Oh my gosh, I forgot Merle, just too much happened today I suppose. I can try to do that real quick," she looked uneasy. "Nah, it's gettin' late and I know ya gotta get Tommy ta bed. I'll tell ya what, I'll leave the shop an hour or so early tamorrow, the fellas can handle the place for a while on their own, and that'll give ya all day tamorrow to think about that. I'll swing by and pick you and Tommy up and we'll all go shoppin' tagether. I don't want ya worrying about cleanin' tamorrow either, I want ya ta take it easy. This day was a bad one. Do yer sewing or somethin' you enjoy like that, or just play with Tommy. Ain't nuthin' ain't gonna keep," he was so serious. Beth looked up at him, and he thought she was going to start crying again, she softly said, "Merle Dixon, nobody has ever been as sweet to me as you are. Thank you." Now it was his turn to be embarrassed.
Merle walked her and Tommy back to the apartment and helped her get the little guy to bed. Before he left he said, "I'll be by ta get ya 'bout 4:00 you get a good night's sleep little darlin'." "Goodnight Merle," she gave him one of her big bright smiles and it was all he could do to leave her there.
Merle went in early to make up for the fact he'd be leaving early. He wanted to make sure everything was squared away, check the inventory, and make certain the work flow and schedule were properly handled. He told his secretary Tara that he'd be leaving early and asked her to lock up for him.
He and Beth got to the market, and he felt happy and proud to be there with her and Tommy. For her part, Beth felt a bit excited to go for a ride in the truck, and to be able to do the shopping herself. As they walked through the store together she did notice some sideways glances and disapproving looks, which she did her best to ignore. She kept reminding herself that she and Merle weren't doing anything wrong, and she liked having him there by her side.
When they got back to Merle's Beth approached him nervously, "Merle, please don't be angry, I'm surely not disrespectful of you, but can I say something I think would be a good idea?" "Course ya can Beth, told ya, I ain't yer boss we got us a partnership, I want ya ta speak yer mind, ain't no reason for ya to be scared a me, for pete sake you probably got plenty a ideas better n I ever come up with," he looked so serious. "Well, I was just thinking that I like doing the shopping and since you usually go to town for some reason on Saturdays, like the hardware store or your shop, maybe you could drop me and Tommy by the grocery store and I could do the shopping while you do your business. Then you wouldn't have to go on Mondays," she looked a bit hesitant. "Well see there? I knew you was the smart one a this outfit, that's a fine idea. Matter a fact I was thinking ta head out early this comin' Saturday mornin' want ta get some tools, stakes, seed an fertilizer to put in a nice garden. I was figurin' we could grow us some vegetables, if ya like," he grinned.
"Oh Merle, I'm so excited, that will be wonderful! Tommy and I can help you with the garden, I know about farming," and then boom, the smile faded and she suddenly looked so sad.
"Beth," he moved close to her, cupped her elbow, looked in her eyes and quietly said, "I'm hopin' one day yer gonna trust me enough ta tell me what this is all about. I'm ready ta listen when yer ready ta tell me." "One day Merle I will, I'm just too nervous right now," she looked down. "S'fair, I ain't gonna force ya to tell me," he felt helpless, and a little disappointed she wouldn't confide in him. But then, didn't he have his own secrets he'd never confided in anyone?
Rick stopped by to see him at the shop on Wednesday, "Hey Officer Friendly, what brings ya by? Need me ta tow a bad guy away?" Merle smiled at his friend. "No Merle, nothing that easy for you. Lori told me to come by and pin you down. There's a dance two weeks from Saturday in Robinson at the Grange Hall. It's a family thing, kids, everybody welcome and there's a potluck dinner. Lori thinks you ought to ask Beth to go, and we should all meet there about 6:00," Rick smiled, knowing he'd caught Merle completely by surprise. "Ya mean we can go and we can bring Tommy?" Merle didn't know a thing about family outings. "Yep, you bring a dish of food to share, Beth will know about that part, everyone gets together, shares a meal, dances, visits, Beth and Tommy will have a lot of fun, heck you might even have a good time," Rick cocked his head and smiled broadly. "Well, I been wishin' I could take her out somewhere. I'll ask her an if she wants ta go, I'll be proud ta take her. Now get that cocky grin off yer damn face 'fore I knock it off there," Merle smiled right back at him.
Beth was so excited, a potluck and a dance! And it wasn't going to be here in Summit, maybe she wouldn't get so many disapproving looks over in Robinson. She'd already decided she'd make a potato salad. "Oh Merle, I just can't wait, thank you for asking me," there was that big smile he loved. 'No Beth, thank you for agreein' ta go with me," he beamed.
Saturday morning Merle announced he'd like to take Tommy with him while Beth shopped, "Ya can get the groceries and Tommy and I will get everything for the garden, time I taught the little fella how ta work for his supper," Merle smiled broadly. Beth was both surprised and touched that he wanted to spend time with Tommy, "Okay Merle, if that's what you want I think that's good," she smiled back. Merle dropped Beth by the store, and he and Tommy went on to the general store to get what they'd need to put the garden in. He wasn't fool enough ta think they'd get it all done that day, but he'd get all the supplies, get the ground tilled, get his borders in and get some stakes up to net around and try an keep birds and critters out. He wanted to make her happy, he wanted ta make her see he could be a worthy man.
When they got back to the house Merle had Tommy "help" him unload the groceries for Beth, and then the supplies they needed for the garden. Beth enjoyed watching her little boy being so manly, and she continued to think Merle was the best thing that had ever happened to her and Tommy.
After getting the groceries put away, Beth went back to the apartment with the idea of working on her sewing. About half hour later there was a knock at her door, it was Zach the young man she knew Rick had hired as a deputy. He was all smiles and happy talk, asking her to sew the emblems and patches on his uniform shirts. She was happy to have the work and smiled back at him as he explained where each patch should be placed. He asked her a lot of personal questions about where she was from and things like that and she just tried to be pleasant, she needed the money sewing brought in.
Merle had no idea what that guy was talking to Beth about, oh yeah it was probably sewing, but never the less, it was making him very uneasy. He knew she was beautiful and a young guy like that was probably someone more her style, but damn, he wanted Beth to save that big smile for him. Fuck, he was screwed now, how was he gonna compete with young and handsome?
Merle continued to work on the garden and give Tommy instruction on how to help. Even though the little fella was a lot more work than he was help Merle got a kick out of having him there, and the little fella was so serious about his work.
He saw Beth go on back to his house after Zach left, and damn if she didn't have a big smile on her face. Fuck.
Beth was so happy to have work, just to keep money coming in for her and Tommy. If she could get two extra dollars she would have enough money to buy everything she needed to make a new dress to wear to the dance with Merle. For now, she was going to concentrate on making Merle a delicious dinner, he had been so perfect with Tommy today. She was grateful to have a good man in Tommy's life.
She made a pitcher of lemonade and took a big glass out for Merle and a smaller one for Tommy. "How's it coming along?" she looked from Merle to Tommy with a big smile. Tommy happily smiled back, while Merle seemed a bit unhappy, but he said, "goin' real good, 'bout got all the soil tilled. Think the little fella is runnin' low on energy though." Beth was a bit confused by his mood, but continued to smile at him, "Okay, I'll take him in and get him down for a nap."
Merle knew he was being a grouchy asshole but he didn't care. Dammit, he didn't want her to be with another man and he didn't know how to make her want him. He was used to gals that ya buy some drinks for, make some off color jokes, play a little grab ass, and have a little fun. He didn't know how to win this woman over. Fuck.
She came back out of the apartment a while later and walked over by him, "This is going to be so wonderful Merle and I'm going to really enjoy cooking fresh vegetables for you." Damn, she sounded sincere, but she probably just thought of him like a brother or worse, a dad.
When he was finally done with his days' work he walked in the house thinking of a shower and some clean clothes, but damn, it smelled like heaven. "Whatch cookin' little darlin'," he asked. "Fried chicken, mashed potatoes and gravy, corn on the cob and biscuits," she smiled proudly. Man, if only it was cuz ya loved me, and not cuz ya feel like ya owe me, he thought to himself. "K, I'll get in the shower right quick," was all he said.
Darn she thought, what changed? Everything had seemed so good, so happy, and then he had turned so sullen. She'd thought he might have feelings for her, now she was thinking she really was just his cook and housekeeper.
They still had dinner together every night, and he still asked about her and Tommys' days, and he still threw the ball for Tommy and played tag, but it was all somehow different. He seemed so far away.
Zach had been by a three times in the past week, yeah he'd seen him picking up stuff, dropping stuff off, and he wasn't fooled, he knew when a man had his eye on a woman. She'd just smile that big ol' smile at the guy. Merle knew when another man was beatin' his time, and he was beat. Fine, he still wanted everything to be okay for her and Tommy. Even if she didn't have any interest in him like he did in her, he still wanted her and Tommy taken care of, he still cared way too much and he just couldn't turn it off.
Beth couldn't figure out what Merle was thinking. She knew she had feelings for him, and she was pretty sure he had them for her, then all of the sudden it was over. Why? She was sad again, she thought she was coming out of that terrible sadness she felt before she moved in the apartment out back, she'd had her heart convinced about Merle, and now she felt sure he wasn't interested in her that way. But she'd gotten her material, she made her dress, and she was going to look pretty for the dance, darn it. Either he was interested and he would appreciate her looking pretty for him, or maybe she would give Zach a chance. Lord knows, he'd made it perfectly clear he was interested!
A/N Next chapter, let's go dancing!