Author's Notes: Hope everyone enjoys the new chapter. Special thanks to Prothrombintime for invaluable feedback, encouragement and support.
Chapter Thirty-Three
September 23rd, 2005 (continued)
Ianto woke to a darkened room, groaning softly as he rolled onto his back and stretched out his sore, aching limbs. A surge of panic pulled his sluggish mind to alertness and he jerked upright, blinking as he glanced around the shadowy space. Then, remembering where he was, he exhaled a deep shuddering breath. Looking at the bedside clock, he was surprised to discover almost ten hours had passed, the time just after ten-thirty in the evening. He could barely hear the soft, indistinct murmur of the television through the closed bedroom door.
Slowly, he climbed out of bed, groaning again as his body protested. His balance wavered and he closed his eyes, waiting for the light-headedness to pass. When he was reasonably confident he wouldn't topple over, he blindly dug out a t-shirt from the wardrobe and struggled to pull it on, then padded into the bathroom.
After using the toilet, he stared at his reflection in the mirror and was shocked by the pallid, drawn face looking back at him. His blue eyes were grey and lifeless, and the thick, dark stubble adorning his face combined with his unruly hair was a far cry from his usual meticulously groomed appearance. After a half-hearted attempt to flatten out his uncooperative locks, he splashed some water on his face and dried it off, sighed wearily, then made his way into the living room.
Jack was sprawled on the sofa, his legs up, and dressed in just his trousers and white undershirt. He looked up from the television as Ianto approached, flicking it off and swinging his legs down to make room. Ianto slumped down beside him, grateful to be off his feet again.
"Hey, how are you feeling?" Jack asked, resting his hand on Ianto's knee and rubbing gently.
"Bit better," Ianto mumbled, tilting his head to look at the other man. "I look like hell though."
"Better than the alternative," Jack said, with obvious false cheer. He pulled Ianto close, kissing his cheek. "Anyone would look a little rough around the edges after what you've been through. Don't worry, you'll be back to your gorgeous self before you know it."
"I suppose," Ianto agreed non-committally, resting his head on Jack's shoulder. "What were you watching?"
"Star Trek," Jack replied. "Thought I'd try some contemporary science-fiction. I hadn't seen any of these newer ones. It's not bad, actually. They're not that far off the mark with some of the technology either."
"I used to watch Next Generation when I was a teenager. Was a bit obsessed with it." Ianto paused, thinking back to the collection of well-worn video tapes he'd eventually thrown away. The tiny second-hand television and video recorder he'd had in his cramped upstairs bedroom had been his only escape from the misery of his life back then. "Always wondered what it would be like to fly around the galaxy in a starship."
"You'd make a very sexy starship captain, especially in one of those red uniforms." Jack's voice was teasing and light-hearted. "And I could be your second-in-command."
Ianto snorted. "And you'd cause a diplomatic incident on every planet we visited. Leaving me to rescue you and clean up your mess."
Jack laughed. "Sounds like my kind of fun."
"Do you miss it, Jack?" Ianto asked hesitantly, lifting his head and looking into Jack's eyes as he again recalled John Hart's taunting words. "Up there, travelling the stars?"
"Yeah... sometimes." Jack sighed, resting his head back against the cushions and gazing up at the ceiling. "There's so much wonder out there, Ianto. I wish I could show it to you. I bet you'd love it. But there are plenty of worse places to be than twenty-first century Earth." He shifted his gaze back to Ianto, smiling affectionately. "Besides, it's not without its charms."
Ianto nodded, returning Jack's smile as he indulged himself for a moment in the fantasy of travelling with Jack, exploring the wonders of the universe together. As ridiculous a notion as it seemed, he could almost believe it might happen. Just about anything seemed possible with Jack. The irony of his musings wasn't lost on him, given how little of his own planet he'd had the opportunity to see.
"Feel like something to eat?" Jack asked, suddenly changing the subject. "There's some vegetable soup I can heat up. Seven different vegetables it says on the tin." A mischievous twinkle crept into his eyes. "Sounds good, huh?"
Ianto scrunched up his face in revulsion. "Um... no."
Jack chuckled. "I've missed that."
"What?" Ianto asked in confusion.
Jack grinned at him. "The adorable way you screw up your face when I try to get you to eat vegetables."
Ianto huffed indignantly. "It's not adorable."
Jack's grin grew wider. "I've missed that adorable little huff you do too."
Ianto scowled, narrowing his eyes. "Is there anything I do that you don't find adorable?"
"Not really," Jack replied, looking entirely unapologetic. "Although, I could do without your snoring when I'm trying to go to sleep. And you always rub your cold feet against my legs."
"I do not," Ianto retorted defensively. "And I don't snore either."
"Yeah, you do. It'd kind of cute though." Jack chuckled again, causing Ianto's scowl to deepen. "Are you going to roll your eyes at me? 'Cause I've missed that too."
"Actually," Ianto answered calmly. "I was wondering if I had the strength to punch you."
"I tend to have that affect on people. They can't decide whether to punch me, kiss me, or shoot me." Jack shrugged. "It's all part of my charm."
"So I've noticed," Ianto remarked dryly, thinking back to the bar where they'd met John Hart and mentally cringing at the memory.
Jack leaned in and gave him a quick kiss on the lips. "Okay, I'll have the vegetable soup. I also got some of that chicken noodle one you like."
"I am a bit hungry," Ianto admitted, now that vegetable soup was off the menu.
Jack rose to his feet. "Right, stay there and I'll get it ready."
Ianto turned on the television again and resumed Jack's DVD, watching with a sense of nostalgia as Jack pottered around loudly in the kitchen. Soon enough, he returned with two steaming bowls of soup. He put them down on the table, with plates underneath Ianto was relieved to note, and passed Ianto a spoon and a paper napkin as he sat down again, which Ianto unfolded and neatly tucked into his collar. They continued to watch Star Trek as Jack noisily consumed his soup, with Ianto eating his more sedately.
"Sure you don't want some?" Jack asked, waving his half-empty bowl under Ianto's noise. "It's really good."
"Think I'll stick with the chicken noodle, thanks," Ianto muttered, determined not to let Jack get a rise out of him, but enjoying the comfortable familiarity of their banter, and pleased to see Jack in good spirits.
Jack grinned and returned his attention to the television.
It was a few minutes later, after their bowls were empty and the episode had finished, that Ianto decided he needed to ask one of the questions at the forefront of his mind. "Jack... John Hart, what happened to him?"
Jack closed his eyes for a long moment. Finally he opened them again and met Ianto's gaze. "He's dead. Stupid bastard got himself blown up. Not that he didn't deserve it."
Ianto felt his eyebrows lift upwards of their own accord. "How? I was searching the office, and you went up to the rooftop. What happened after that?"
Jack didn't reply immediately, appearing reluctant to continue. Not relenting, Ianto just looked at him steadily, until finally he sighed and nodded.
"I was on the roof looking for the canister. I'd just found it when John showed up. He gave me a spiel about going with him and travelling the stars together. The guy never could take no for an answer. I lost my patience and tossed the canister off the edge of the building. They weren't radiation cluster bombs by the way, but I'll get to that. Anyway, he wasn't too happy about me rejecting him and throwing away his precious canister... he caught me by surprise and pushed me over the edge." He paused, a pained look contorting his features. "Not my favourite way to die, plummeting two hundred feet to the ground, but it's not the worst."
"Shit," Ianto said succinctly, his chest tightening as his mind conjured up the horrendous image of Jack falling to his death.
"Yeah," Jack agreed, letting out a small, choked laugh. "As soon as I came back, I went looking for you. It took me a while to revive and I was terrified he'd done something to you in the meantime. That's when I found you in the lift. You know what happened after that."
Ianto nodded. "And after you froze me?"
"Okay, so I was about to go and hunt him down, when he showed up at the Hub. He had my wrist-strap... he must have taken it from me while I was dead. He was able to walk right in." Jack smiled tightly. "Suffice to say he was surprised to find me alive."
"He didn't know you can't die?" Ianto asked curiously.
Jack shook his head. "No. What happened to me was after the last time I'd seen him."
Ianto nodded thoughtfully and waited for Jack to continue.
Jack took a deep breath. "I threatened to shoot him if he didn't give me the antidote, but he didn't have it. The bastard didn't show an ounce of remorse for what he'd done to you, not that I expected he would. We struck a deal – in return for me not killing him and letting him finish what he'd come here for, he was going to get me the antidote. I knew I couldn't trust him, but I didn't have a choice."
He paused, scrubbing his hand over his face. "Everything he told us at the bar was a lie. The woman he'd known had an Arcadian diamond, it's priceless and very rare... the rarest gem in the Damascene Cluster. He'd killed her so he could steal it. The canisters contained pieces of a device that he thought was going to lead him right to the diamond. But the woman had out-smarted him. The device was actually a bomb and designed to latch onto the DNA of her killer... as soon as John assembled it, it attached itself to him and activated with a ten minute countdown."
"How did you stop it?" Ianto asked, not in the least surprised that Hart had deceived them.
"It would have destroyed half the city, and there was no way to remove or disarm it. Anything I might have tried would have triggered it. So, I did the only thing I could think of... I knocked him out and took him back to the rooftop of the car park where he contacted us. The Rift fracture he'd arrived through was still active. I threw him and the bomb into the Rift and it contained the explosion." Jack paused again, looking chagrined. "I took his wrist-strap before I sent him into the Rift, but he'd modified it... installed a fail-safe. Because my DNA wasn't a match, it self-destructed as soon as I tried to use it. I'd lost any chance I had of getting the antidote to save you."
Ianto nodded slowly as he processed Jack's narrative. "I know he was... that he meant something to you... but I can't be sorry he's dead. Apart from what he did to us personally, he put the whole city at risk."
"Neither am I, and he brought it on himself." A dark look clouded Jack's face, then he looked at Ianto earnestly. "What I once had with him, it wasn't good, it was... well, convenient I suppose. We took what we needed from each other, but I never felt for him what he claimed to feel for me. Like I said to you that night, I'm not proud of the person I was back then." A look of deep remorse filled his features. "I'm sorry, Ianto."
"What for?" Ianto asked in astonishment.
Jack sighed, shaking his head. "It was all my fault. I should have protected you, made sure John Hart never got anywhere near you. I knew what he was capable of. You almost died because of me."
Ianto suddenly realised the depth of Jack's guilt over the incident, and it tore at his heart as he imagined Jack tormenting himself for those ten long months. He knew all too well that Jack was a master of self-recrimination. "It's not your fault, Jack," he said sincerely.
"Yes, Ianto, it is," Jack insisted, lowering his gaze.
Looking at Jack sadly, Ianto wanted to convince him that he wasn't to blame, but he knew it would be a futile endeavour. He knew Jack well enough to understand that the man would need to work through and assuage his guilt in his own way.
Eventually Jack looked up at him again. "What did he say before he tried to kill you?"
Ianto shrugged. "Nothing much, he was just ranting about things... the ravings of a psychopath. Didn't mean anything."
"Tell me, please." Jack's expression was determined. "I need to know."
Ianto closed his eyes for a moment, steeling himself. "He said he wanted you back," he said reluctantly. "That the two of you were going to travel the galaxy again. He said I could never compete, that I could never be enough for you... that I was just a distraction... an amusement."
"That despicable bastard," Jack growled, his face contorting with anger. He placed his hand on Ianto's shoulder and looked intently into his eyes. "Ianto, you know none of that's true, don't you?"
Ianto nodded, not quite trusting himself to speak. He wanted to believe that Jack wouldn't leave if presented with the opportunity, but he wasn't sure if he could. He doubted anything Jack could say would erase that fear completely.
"This is my home now," Jack continued emphatically. "I'm not going to leave the planet or abandon Torchwood, not as long as I'm needed here." He paused, drawing a deep breath. "And I'd never abandon you."
"Even if the Doctor shows up?" Ianto blurted out before he could stop himself, then froze in horror as his brain caught up and he realised what he'd said aloud.
Jack's eyes widened with obvious shock and he reeled back, his hand abruptly falling away from Ianto's shoulder.
Ianto felt his stomach lurch with fear. Silently cursing his stupidity, all he could do was stare dumbly at Jack as he wondered what in the hell he'd just done.