CHAPTER 4

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The fluorescent light flickered off and on again above the desk for the fifth and final time before Dr. Jane Foster pushed up off her desk in a huff, stalked across the room to turn it off, and flipped on the switch for the tiny desk light in front of her instead.

"Y'know, a little warning would be nice."

Darcy sat in front of her notepad, plunged in complete darkness as she'd been squinting and struggling to make sense of Jane's latest scribbled notes.

Jane was working harder than ever these days, and making more progress, with Thor's help, than they ever had in the past—which meant Darcy had to work twice as hard to decipher her hastily scribbled calculations so she could type them up and record them.

"Oh, sorry. I got a little caught up, and that was driving me crazy." She sighed and rubbed her forehead as she raised her light up to try to illuminate the rest of the room.

It was better, but not by much. Darcy gave up and put the notepad on the desk, leaning back in her chair and looking up at the flickering light.

"Do you think you could look into changing the bulb or something? I don't think I can work with that."

With a mumbled assent, Darcy stood and moved to head out in search of one of the many agents that ran around the building. As her hand touched the doorframe, Jane's voice stopped her.

"Hey, Darcy?"

"Hmm?"

When Jane didn't speak for a moment, Darcy turned to look at her. Jane had risen, and stood facing Darcy with a calculated look.

"Are you okay?"

"What? Of course I am, why wouldn't I be?"

"I don't know. You just seem a little distracted…."

"Don't I always?"

Darcy tried to maintain her playful façade, but Jane had known her long enough that she could see right through it.

"I get it."

Slightly taken aback, Darcy's eyes narrowed. "You do?" There was no way she could have an inkling of the turn of her thoughts.

"Yeah, well, I think I get it. At least part of it. I know this whole move here has been really stressful, and I didn't really mean to bring you into the heart of everything here…"

"Things have been a little crazy. It wasn't as if we had much of a choice."

"I know, but still… I really appreciate your help."

"I know." Darcy smiled, content that she had someone as brilliant and kind as Jane on her side. "I'm happy to do it."

And as she left, Darcy realized she honestly was.

If someone had asked her a year ago whether she wanted to be mixed up deep in confidential government secrets in a building that to a civilian wasn't even on the map, she'd have said hell no and run as fast as she could in the opposite direction.

But the past year's events and Thor's arrival had made her realize just how tiny the bubble was that she'd been living in, and she wanted to know more. Even if said 'more' wasn't always pleasant.

Which brought her thoughts back to the dark, brooding man currently locked up in a glass cage.

She knew what he'd nearly done to the city of New York, and she'd seen his anger and bitterness firsthand. Yet she couldn't get over what had to be under the surface, and her thoughts kept telling her that there was something more there, if she could only convince him to open up.

Ironically, it was part of the reason she'd gotten into poli-sci in the first place. Buried somewhere beneath the dull, dreary political language and recycled rhetoric, the real issues were buried, and she'd liked the adventure of digging into them, uncovering them and figuring them out.

Everyone at SHIELD saw everything so black and white, enemy or friend. There was no in between. Yet the world was full of a myriad of colors, and something told her Loki would be far more valuable as an ally.

She wasn't sure where the thoughts and the curiosity came from. She wasn't even sure he'd want to see her again.

Things had been awkward to say the least, and as much as she wanted to know more about him, she didn't feel comfortable delving into his personal issues, especially not unless he allowed her to.

So she skipped visiting him the day before, today, and had no plans to see him the next day.

After all, what could she say?

Darcy made her way down the hall to the nearby storage where spare bits and pieces were kept from Jane's research and combed quickly through the piles of boxes until she found a spare fluorescent bulb. Hoping it would work, she closed the storeroom door with a code on the keypad and headed back to Jane's lab.

When she entered, the room was quiet. She glanced around for Jane, but found no sign of her.

Must have taken a coffee break.

Shrugging her shoulders, she moved the nearest chair underneath the light and stood on it, getting to work switching out the bulb.

Once she'd pulled out the old, she stepped down and grabbed the bulb she'd found and inserted it. Crossing the room, she flipped the light switch on only to be met with… nothing.

Evidently, they'd brought along a used up light bulb.

Sighing in frustration, she moved back to the chair and stepped up to take the faulty bulb out. The office door opened and closed behind her.

"Hey Jane, still working on this…"

"Miss Lewis." Thor's voice startled her, and just as she'd been about to step back off the chair, she stumbled and came careening down hard on the floor, smack on her butt.

"Miss Lewis! Are you alright?"

He rushed over to help her, but by that time it was too late. She winced at the bruise that was surely forming as she stood.

"I'm fine. All in one piece…"

"I'm sorry. I did not mean to startle you."

"Oh, you're all right." The day just kept getting better and better. Rubbing her bruised rear, she set the bulb on the desk.

"I convinced Jane to take a break for food. She told me to ask you to join her. Are you sure you are alright?"

Darcy shook off her grumpiness as she looked up at the towering thunder god. Jane frequently worked so hard she skipped meals altogether. Normally Darcy reminded her to take a break, but she'd forgotten today. A spike of guilt ran through her. She'd been so wrapped up in her thoughts she hadn't paid attention to the time. Forcing a smile on her face, she looked up at him.

"Totally fine, only a little bruise. Tell her I'll join her in a minute."

"I can wait, and accompany you."

Despite having been here for months now, he still was more formal than ever. The only person he called by their first name was Jane, which was somehow ridiculously adorable. She tried to convince him to leave her and go on ahead, but he wasn't having any of it.

He could be almost as stubborn as Loki when he wanted to be.

After she righted herself, she motioned to him.

"All set. Lead the way."

He stepped ahead of her, always checking around corners as though at any moment, he expected an enemy to strike at him from out of the darkness. His vigilance set her a little on edge, but she pushed down the feelings and decided to move on to safe small talk.

"How is your day going?"

He took a moment to consider the question, instead of responding with the common platitudes most people resorted to.

"It is a bit frustrating."

"Oh?" Now she was regretting her question. She didn't want to pry, not after what she'd heard. He was oblivious, but she still couldn't help but feel slightly awkward around him.

"Nick Fury refuses to grant my brother clemency of any kind."

"Ah." Exactly the subject she didn't want to talk about.

"I am running out of ideas to persuade him."

"I see."

"Do you agree with the others, about what should be done with him?"

"Ah…" Floundering, in search of another topic of conversation, she struggled to answer. "I'm sure they have reasons for their ways of thinking..."

"I know. I cannot blame them. But surely not everyone shares those thoughts. Do you? Can you only see my brother as a criminal?"

"Thor, I hardly know him."

"And that is what matters. Perhaps if I can convince them to try to know him, if I can convince him to let them, then they can see that he is not their enemy. Not truly."

Darcy's heart went out to him. It didn't matter what kind of a man Loki was. Thor wanted so hard to believe that his brother was good that nothing would deter him from it.

As they walked, they passed another control room, this one empty and overlooking the main rec room they frequently gathered in for meals. There was a bathroom to one side, and Darcy saw it as her escape.

"Thor, hang on I just need a moment. I'll meet you down there, okay?"

Before he could answer, she stepped inside and down into the restroom.

When she pulled the door closed behind her, she let out a little laugh at her ridiculous behavior. She'd just been thinking that she was glad she was here, and that she wanted to help, but when confronted with questions like Thor's, she couldn't help but run in the opposite direction.

Having the fate of someone else's life hang in her hands was too much to ask. To know that her opinion of him might sway a decision of whether he lived or died was far too much power. She couldn't deal with that. She could never live with herself if she affected the decision in any way.

So she waited five minutes, hoping he would leave and she could follow. Or maybe she'd just return to the lab. She wasn't feeling particularly hungry at the moment.

After several long moments that had to be at least five minutes, she stepped out. Her shoulders fell as she saw Thor standing beside one of the computer panels, clearly waiting for her.

"You didn't have to wait. I know the way."

"I do not mind."

He didn't take his eyes off the window that looked down onto the rec room. Even from up here, he kept an eye on Jane, his face loving and watchful all at once. Jane sat downstairs with her snack, chatting with Natasha and looking relaxed and lovely as always.

"Shall we join her?"

He rose from his position against the wall and moved toward her.

"Am I doing the wrong thing?"

He leveled such a severe, serious look at her that she couldn't turn away.

Her tone was low and quiet when she spoke.

"You are fighting for your brother. It's a good thing."

"It doesn't feel like it. He is angry at me for doing it."

It wasn't like Thor to sound so dejected. Unsure how to proceed, Darcy stepped closer to the monitor panel beside him. The SHIELD emblem flashed across the screen as a screensaver, a constant reminder of where they were and what they were doing.

Hundreds of questions flooded Darcy's mind, things she was dying to know about Loki, things she'd never dare to ask. Before she could sort all her thoughts out in her head, she blurted out the first that came to mind:

"What happened, between you two?"

Thor hung his head low, the pain on his face almost too much to look at. "I wasn't able to save him… He needed my help and I couldn't protect him…"

"Hmm..." Darcy stepped ahead of him, oblivious to his inquisitive look at her. She continued studying the control room, the whole series of flashing numbers and blinking lights completely foreign to her. It was beautiful, in its own way, when you didn't know that you were looking at something so deadly.

Her thoughts turned inwards, and her look became more pensive.

"What are you thinking of?"

She glanced up at him, again reminded of his height. The thought only served as a reminder of how different they were, from two completely different worlds.

"Oh, it's not important."

"What is it?" His tone was firmer, but still gentle, his face pleading.

Her head tilted as she studied him, wondering whether or not to share the thoughts running through her head.

Unable to resist his puppy-dog face, she replied: "It was a random thought really. When you talk about Loki, sometimes it sounds as though you're talking about a pet that you take care of."

"A pet?" His puzzled look prompted her onwards, into territory she wasn't sure she should be venturing. Still, she was always one to jump first, ask questions later.

"Well, you protect him, you help him, your family took him in. Whatever he does, you accept as your responsibility. What decisions has he made on his own? When has he done something, independent from you?"

Thor thought back to before, to their childhood and up until the moment he'd felt the rift between the two of them tear wide open. He'd always pushed and pulled Loki into whatever he'd wanted to do. When Loki had tried to do something on his own, Thor had stopped him or taken over. And their father. He'd always been king, but more than that, he'd watched over every decision, every step the two of them had ever made.

Loki had tricked and connived to get his way, but it never lasted long before Thor or Odin himself took over whatever it was they were doing. Loki was underhanded, because when he spoke openly he wasn't heard.

A horrible thought struck him. The one time Loki had made a decision on his own, completely against Thor's wishes, had been at the bifrost. The one time Thor hadn't been able to make him do what he'd wanted. He'd let go.

He'd tried to control him, to guard him and protect him for so long that he'd driven him nearly to the edge. It was no wonder he'd turned to a creature that gave him all the control he'd been longing for.

The thought sent him reeling. He turned to look at Darcy, little fey creature that she was, and wondered how she could so clearly see what he had missed for so long.

Oblivious to his momentous realization, she turned back to the control room.

His voice cracked when he first tried to speak, and he had to clear his voice before he tried again: "You are right."

"About what?"

"I know what to do."

"Oh. Good." She looked satisfied when he changed the subject and led them down to the rec room. Once there, he bid her goodbye and greeted Jane with a heartfelt kiss, but did not stay long before he set out to find Nick Fury.

Darcy was right, and it was time he acknowledged what Loki had been trying to tell him for so long.

It was time to let him go.