Author's Notes: Thanks as always to Prothrombintime for very much appreciated feedback, encouragement and advice. Enjoy!

Chapter Thirty-Four

September 24th, 2005

Jack stared at Ianto incredulously. "What? How do you know about..."

"Yvonne Hartman," Ianto replied tersely, his mouth suddenly feeling very dry. He forced himself to hold Jack's gaze, knowing there was no going back now. "She showed me a photograph taken in 1941. A photograph of you... you and a young blonde woman... and the Doctor." He paused and took a deep, steadying breath. "Why didn't you tell me, Jack? Were you a companion?"

The air seemed thick with tension and Jack didn't respond, he just turned away and stared across the room, avoiding Ianto's eyes. Finally, he nodded slowly. "I travelled with the Doctor for a while. I first met him in 1941 during the Blitz, that must have been when the photograph was taken. I didn't know there was any record of me being associated with him, and I've never told anyone. I couldn't risk taking the chance. It was all a long time ago, over a hundred and thirty years in my time-line. The Torchwood charter established in 1879 declares the Doctor as an enemy of the Crown, but they got it all wrong, he's never been a threat to the planet. He's saved the world more times than anyone knows." He turned to face Ianto again and looked into his eyes. "I didn't tell you because I didn't want you to be in a position where your loyalty was divided... I didn't want you to have to make a choice between me and Torchwood."

"You didn't trust me," Ianto countered, unable to quell the anger and hurt rising up within him. "Did you think I'd betray you if I knew the truth?"

"No, I trust you, Ianto," Jack said insistently. "Admittedly it took me a while to get there, but I trust you more than I've trusted anyone in a very long time."

Abruptly, Jack stood up and paced across the room, clearly agitated. Ianto feared he was going to walk out, but after several anxious minutes he returned to the sofa and sank down onto it again. Visibly distressed, he took a deep breath. "I just... it's not easy for me... I'm not used to having someone I can trust. It's not an excuse but..."

"She blind-sided me," Ianto murmured, his hurt and disappointment causing his voice to waver. "She showed me that photograph and she was gloating because I was taken completely by surprise. There I was defending you... telling her there wasn't a better person to run Torchwood Three. I had to find out from Yvonne Hartman that you were a former associate of Torchwood's number one enemy. I suspected they were wrong about the Doctor, but that doesn't change the fact that you put me in an untenable position."

Jack dragged his fingers through his hair, seemingly having to force himself to meet Ianto's eyes again. "Look, I'm sorry. I'm not saying it was the best decision I've ever made, but I thought it was for the best that you didn't know."

"It hurt, Jack," Ianto said, his voice little more than a whisper. "It hurt to think you didn't trust me. I thought we were past that."

"We are," Jack said firmly. "If I'd known that Hartman knew anything, I would have handled it differently. I would have made sure you were prepared. I'm sorry you had to find out like that, it's not what I wanted." He looked at Ianto with pleading in his eyes. "Surely you know I'd never want to hurt you?"

"I can understand why you didn't tell me," Ianto conceded, aware that he was avoiding answering Jack's question. "And I'm not trying to take the moral high-ground here... it's not as if I've ever been particularly forthcoming about my past either."

"We've both got our fair share of painful history. The only difference is that mine's longer and I've had more time to come to terms with most of it." Jack paused, appearing lost in thoughts. "Ianto, I don't expect you to talk about things from your past that you don't want to... it's what we have in the here and now that matters to me." Pausing again, he looked at Ianto with a searching expression. "Is this why you seemed distant after you came back from London?"

Ianto nodded ruefully, relieved that at least it was out in the open at last. "I wanted to talk to you about it, but I didn't know how... and the longer I left it, the harder it became." He eyed Jack curiously and after debating with himself, he asked the next logical question. "Is it because of the Doctor that you can't die?"

"Yes," Jack replied, surprisingly without hesitation. "Well, at least I think so. I was with him when it happened. I died, then I woke up, and he was gone. I've been like this ever since."

"Will you tell me the whole story?" Ianto asked, his voice tentative. "I think I've earned that much."

Jack looked at him doubtfully. "Sure you're up to it? You're not too tired?"

Ianto shook his head. "I'm fine."

Jack continued to look uncertain for a long moment, but finally gave a decisive nod. "I'm gonna need a drink first." He stood up again. "And I'll make you a cup of tea."

He made a hasty retreat to the kitchen and Ianto watched him, waiting anxiously. He hadn't intended to confront Jack, but they'd needed to clear the air, especially after what they'd both been through. He just hoped it wouldn't have a detrimental effect on their relationship.

When Jack returned, he set down a steaming mug of tea in front of Ianto, then slumped down on the sofa again, a glass and a bottle of Scotch in his hands. It didn't escape Ianto's notice that Jack was keeping some distance between them. He watched as Jack poured himself a generous measure and tossed it back, repeating the process twice more before finally putting down the empty glass and letting out a heavy, weary sigh.

"For six months I travelled with the Doctor and Rose Tyler," he began. "It changed me, made me want to be a better man. The Doctor does that, he brings out the best in people, helps them to see their true potential, makes them realise they're bigger on the inside." He chuckled slightly. "And for the first time in almost as long as I could remember, I was actually happy. I felt like I'd finally found a place where I belonged. Rose was like the kid sister I never had, and the Doctor, well... he was something else entirely."

"Did you and he...?" Ianto asked cautiously, not sure he wanted to know the answer.

Jack shook his head. "No, nothing ever happened between us. Not that I didn't want it to, but he never seemed interested. He's kind of above all that, but it was obvious that he loved Rose, and she loved him. They were kindred spirits. As for me... well, I loved them both." A sad, wistful smile crept across his face, then slowly faded. "Then everything changed. We arrived on a satellite orbiting Earth in the 2002nd century, the year 200,100..."

After recovering from the initial shock that Jack was describing events that were going to take place over 198,000 years in the future, Ianto sipped his tea and listened intently. Jack recounted the tale of their arrival on Satellite Five, followed by their eventual discovery that the Daleks had rebuilt their race by harvesting genetic material from humans. Ianto had read about the emotionless cyborg monsters known as Daleks during his time at Torchwood One, and Jack explained that their empire had been destroyed in what the Doctor had called the Last Great Time War. The conflict had resulted in the destruction of both the Doctor's race and the Daleks, leaving the Doctor as the last of his kind. Jack described how he'd tried to convince the humans on the satellite to stand with him to fight the Daleks as they invaded the station. He added that the Doctor had sent Rose back home to twenty-first century Earth to keep her safe.

Jack stopped and poured himself another drink. He took a mouthful, then rested the glass on his knee and stared down at it. "A Dalek killed me, I'm sure it did. Then I woke up, and I watched as the TARDIS dematerialised. All the Daleks and their ships were destroyed, all the humans on the station were dead except for me, and the Doctor was gone." He tossed back the rest of his drink, putting the glass down on the table. "You already know the rest... I used my Vortex Manipulator to travel here to the early twenty-first century, but I overshot and landed in 1869."

Ianto frowned in confusion. "But why would he leave you behind?"

"I don't know," Jack said, his voice laced with bitterness. "Maybe he thought I was dead. Perhaps he just didn't care... decided to be rid of me while he had the chance."

Ianto shifted closer to Jack. He reached for Jack's hand, half-expecting him to pull away. Relieved when he didn't, he took Jack's hand in his own and held it tightly. "I'm sure that's not true," he said insistently.

Jack didn't look convinced. "He sometimes uses the Rift to refuel, that's why I came here, to wait for him to show up again. Someday I'll find him... ask him what happened... and get him to fix me."

"Do you think he can?" Ianto asked quietly. "Reverse what happened to you?"

While he knew that Jack thought of himself as cursed and wrong, he wondered how easily Jack could give up his unique ability after living with it for such a long time. Jack was disturbingly cavalier about dying, regularly putting himself in danger, and Ianto wasn't sure how well he'd adapt to having just a single life to live once again. The reason that Jack had been able to operate Torchwood Three single-handedly as effectively as he had was largely due to his ability to cheat death. If that was no longer the case, everything would have to change. Even with their two new additions to the team, it wouldn't be enough.

"I have to believe he can. If he can't..." Jack trailed off, shaking his head emphatically as if trying to banish the unwelcome thoughts from his mind. "No, he'll find a way, he has to. I can't... I can't go on like this forever, Ianto. I can't. I'll go insane."

Ianto pulled Jack into his arms and held him, not sure what to say, but trying to offer what little comfort he could, no matter how inadequate. Jack laid his head on Ianto's shoulder and took a shuddering breath, his entire body trembling. "Jack, thank you for telling me," Ianto murmured into his ear.

Jack pulled back far enough to look into Ianto's eyes. "You know more about me than anyone else ever has. I need you, Ianto. I know I can't have you with me forever... that our time together is terribly limited, but having you in my life..." He reached up and teased his fingers through Ianto's hair. "I need you," he repeatedly softly.

Touched and reassured by Jack's words, Ianto traced his fingertips down the side of Jack's face and kissed him tenderly. Jack kissed him back and they simply held onto each other in a tight embrace.

It was several minutes later when Jack was suddenly rising to his feet and tugging Ianto up with him. "There's something I want to show you."

"What is it?" Ianto asked, his curiosity piqued, and startled by Jack's sudden change in mood.

"It's in the bedroom. Come on." Jack led him to the bedroom, flicked on the light, and moved over to the wardrobe. He pulled out a black suit bag that Ianto hadn't seen before and held it out to him. "A belated birthday present."

"Jack, you didn't need..." Ianto began to protest.

Jack waved his hand dismissively. "I wanted to. See if you like it."

Ianto took the bag from Jack, laid it out on the bed, and carefully unzipped it. He removed the suit from inside, gasping softly as he brushed his fingers over the sumptuous, finely woven fabric. It was almost black in colour, just a shade or two lighter, and the material had a subtle, textured stripe. He looked at the tag and was startled to find it bore the name of the local tailor he'd purchased several bespoke suits from previously.

"I picked out a shirt and tie to go with it," Jack added, putting a white, rectangular cardboard box down on the bed and removing the lid to reveal a deep red shirt and a matching red silk tie accented with grey and silver stripes. He put his arm around Ianto's waist. "Do you like it?"

"Jack, it's beautiful," Ianto whispered in awe, overwhelmed by the gesture. "I don't know what to say. Thank you."

"I was hoping you'd wear it for our date," Jack said, his voice unusually soft and tentative. "Once you've recovered, that is."

Ianto carefully put the suit down and turned to smile at Jack. "Of course I will."

He was rewarded with a gentle but breathtaking smile that seemed to light up the room.

###

Ianto woke the following morning as a warm hand gently but insistently stroked his shoulder. Blinking drowsily, he rubbed at his bleary eyes and tried to work out where the intrusion to his sleep was coming from. "Jack?" he mumbled thickly.

"Hey." Jack was kneeling beside the bed, fully dressed, and looking down at Ianto with a fond smile. "You okay?"

"Mmm," Ianto replied, groaning as a wave of vertigo passed over him and struggling to disentangle his uncooperative limbs from the bed covers.

"Don't get out of bed, just stay there." Jack leaned closer and adjusted the pillows, allowing Ianto to shift awkwardly into a semi-upright position.

Feeling groggy and disoriented, Ianto cast his mind back to the later part of the previous evening. After watching a couple more episodes of Star Trek, they'd both fallen into bed a little after two in the morning. Their conversation about first John Hart and then the Doctor had been emotionally exhausting, but as he'd fallen asleep in Jack's arms, he'd felt as if a weight had been lifted from between them. He'd spent too much time thinking about the past, both Jack's and his own, but finally he felt ready to concentrate on the here and now.

"I have to go to work, but I made you some breakfast." Jack pulled back and gestured at the bedside table where Ianto saw a bowl of porridge and a glass of orange juice. Jack passed the glass to Ianto, who took it gratefully and sipped at the cool, refreshing liquid.

"You didn't have to do all this," Ianto protested, shivering slightly and tugging the covers up over his bare chest with his spare hand.

"I wanted to," Jack said firmly. "And there's bread and strawberry jam if you want to make yourself some toast later. Now, I want you to take it easy, and if you need anything, give me a call. I've also added Owen's and Toshiko's numbers to your phone. If you can't reach me, you can call either of them, okay?"

"Yes, sir," Ianto muttered.

Jack growled low under his breath. "Don't start 'sir'-ing me or you'll get me all riled up. Owen would have me strung up by my balls if he found out you've been overexerting yourself, and I don't think either of us want that." He grinned cheekily, but then his expression turned serious again. "You need to rest and get your strength back, Ianto. Owen said you need to give your body time to recover, and I trust his judgement in this." His eyes narrowed in warning. "Don't you dare think about doing any cleaning. And if you try to sneak into the Hub to visit Myfanwy, I'm going to be very unhappy with you. She'll be fine without you for a few more days. All right?"

"Fine," Ianto grumbled petulantly. He took another sip of juice before putting the glass down on the table.

"Good. Now, eat your breakfast. There's enough food for you to make some lunch, and I'll bring dinner and some more supplies tonight." Suddenly, Jack looked uncertain. "That is, if you want me to come back? I don't want to presume... I mean, it's okay if you don't."

"Of course I do," Ianto said with complete sincerity. Apart from wanting to spend time with Jack, he didn't relish the thought of spending a night alone at the moment. He'd half-expected to have nightmares after his ordeal, and he suspected it was only Jack's presence that had kept the darker imaginings of his subconscious at bay. "You're always welcome here, Jack. You don't have to ask."

Jack smiled softly. "Thank you." He reached forward and stroked his fingers along Ianto's heavily stubbled jawline. "I don't think I've seen you this scruffy before. It's..."

"Don't you dare say it, Jack," Ianto said in a warning tone, narrowing his eyes at the other man.

"What?" Jack asked, looking a little too wide-eyed and innocent.

"You were going to say a certain word starting with the letter 'A'."

Jack pouted dramatically. "You spoil all my fun." He scratched his thumb over Ianto's chin, sliding his hand down to caress Ianto's shoulder, before finally pulling away and breaking contact. "I like seeing you like this, that's all. I'm allowed to say that, aren't I?"

"Yeah, you are," Ianto agreed, unable to stop a small smile from tugging at the corners of his mouth.

Jack moved to sit on the edge of the bed. "I'll ask Owen to stop by later this afternoon to check on you."

"Jack..." Ianto began to protest again.

"Ianto, please, I need to do this." Jack looked at him beseechingly. "Just let me take care of you until you're back at work."

Realising that he'd hurt Jack if he protested further, Ianto stifled any remaining objections. "Okay," he said simply.

The relief in Jack's eyes was unmistakeable. "I'd better go," he said with a sigh as he stood up. "I'll see you later. Remember, call if you need anything." He turned and began walking towards the bedroom door.

"Jack?" Ianto called after him.

Jack stopped and turned back, looking at him curiously. "Yeah?"

"Thanks."

Striding back to Ianto's side of the bed, Jack leaned in, placed his hand on Ianto's cheek, and pressed a kiss to his forehead. "You're welcome, Ianto. Now, eat your breakfast before it gets cold."

With that Jack was gone, leaving Ianto to roll his eyes affectionately as he reached for his bowl of porridge.