Author's Notes: Thanks again to everyone who has so generously reviewed. And special thanks to the amazing Prothrombintime for invaluable suggestions, feedback and encouragement.

Chapter Thirty-Five

September 24th, 2005

After eating his porridge, Ianto slid back under the bed covers and dozed peacefully for a few more hours. While he felt a twinge of guilt for being so hedonistic, with nowhere to go and nothing urgent to do, he decided he might as well make the most of the enforced downtime.

It was just after noon when he woke again. Yawning heavily, he crawled out of bed and stumbled towards the bathroom. Almost losing his balance, his shoulder banged painfully into the door frame, causing him to curse under his breath as he rubbed distractedly at the abused flesh.

After a long, hot shower, then shaving and brushing his teeth, he felt a little more like himself, and he was relieved to see a tiny bit of colour had begun to return to his naturally pale Welsh skin. He dressed in an old pair of well-worn jeans and a dark blue t-shirt, then made himself some tea and toast. By the time he'd reached the sofa as he nibbled on his toast, he already felt tired from his minimal exertions. His mind active despite his body's fatigue, he retrieved his favourite Bond films from his DVD collection and sprawled out on the sofa for an indulgent afternoon in the company of his beloved fictional super-spy.

He was half-way through his second film when the apartment's buzzer sounded. Scowling in irritation at the interruption, but knowing who the visitor would be, he turned off the DVD and rose unsteadily to his feet, groaning as his stiff muscles protested against the sudden movement. A couple of minutes later he was opening his front door to find himself face-to-face with the surly countenance of Dr. Owen Harper.

Ianto offered up a polite smile. "Hello, Owen. Come in."

Owen nodded curtly in reply. "Ianto." He stepped inside and Ianto closed the door behind him. "I'm not in the habit of making house calls, I want you to know," he muttered, glancing around the apartment before looking back at Ianto. "So don't think I'm going to be making a habit of this."

"Sorry," Ianto said contritely. "I would have been happy to come to the Hub, but Jack..."

"Yeah, Jack wouldn't let you." Owen waved his hand in dismissal. "Not your fault, mate. I'm not sure how you put up with that boyfriend of yours, he's a bloody pain in the arse most of the time."

Ianto froze and cringed inwardly, his entire body tensing up with Owen's casual use of the word 'boyfriend'. Owen frowned and looked at him curiously. "What's wrong?"

"Me and Jack," Ianto muttered. "We're not..." He stopped awkwardly, not knowing how to finish the sentence.

He and Jack weren't 'boyfriends', but as he tried to find an appropriate word for what he and Jack actually were, he realised yet again that he was at a complete loss. There didn't seem to be a word invented yet that described his and Jack's strange, complicated relationship. Although, he couldn't deny that Jack had been acting awfully boyfriend-y that morning. Nor could he deny that he'd enjoyed it, and the idea of him and Jack being something permanent and definable sent a surge of warmth through his chest. "We're..." he tried again, then sighed with confusion. "We're not like that."

Owen looked at him sceptically. "Yeah, whatever. Look, the less I know about yours and Jack's weird love life, the happier I'll be."

Ianto couldn't help cringing again, feeling a flare of heat rise up his cheeks. Shoving his hands into his pockets, he quickly admonished himself for being ridiculous. Owen and Toshiko knew that he and Jack were involved, he'd come to terms with his feelings for Jack, and he now felt confident in Jack's feelings for him. He had nothing to be embarrassed about, he told himself firmly.

"Come on, let's take a look at you." Owen made his way over to the sofa, shrugging off the rucksack from his shoulder as he began digging into its contents. "Shirt off and lie down."

Complying with Owen's request, Ianto removed and neatly folded his t-shirt, stretched himself out along the sofa, tucking one of the cushions behind his head, and tried to relax. For the next ten minutes, he silently endured being thoroughly prodded, poked, and scanned. When Owen was finished, he sat up again, pulled his t-shirt back on, and watched patiently as Owen scribbled down some notes from where he'd perched himself at the other end of the sofa.

"How are you feeling overall?" Owen asked, looking up at him.

"Exhausted. Weak. Achy," Ianto answered, shrugging his shoulders. "Bit of nausea on and off. Some dizziness. Headache that comes and goes."

Owen nodded and made some more notes. "Sounds about right. It's going to take time for your body to sort itself out. You're also a bit anaemic. And some of your vitamin levels are lower than they should be." He pulled two bottles of tablets from his bag and put them down on the coffee table. "Iron supplements and high-potency multi-vitamins. One of each every morning. Drink plenty of water, avoid coffee and alcohol for the next few days, and make sure you eat properly. You're underweight too, so you need to eat more."

"All right, I'll try," Ianto agreed placidly, knowing that he'd lost weight since his trip to London, the emotional upheaval having had a deleterious affect on his appetite.

He couldn't help smiling to himself though, recalling Jack's assessment of Owen's lack of bedside manner. Personally, he appreciated the acerbic doctor's abrupt, no-nonsense approach. He'd rather that than be coddled unnecessarily. "Owen," he said sincerely. "Thank you... for saving me."

"Just doing my job, mate," Owen replied casually, but looking pleased nonetheless. "Actually, I probably should be thanking you."

Ianto raised an enquiring eyebrow. "What do you mean?"

"Jack hasn't told you about me, has he?" Owen asked, sighing heavily.

Ianto shook his head in confusion. "No. Just that he found you in London, and that he convinced you to come and work for him."

"Well, you'll find out sooner or later so I might as well just tell you." Owen rubbed at the back of his neck, then slumped down on the sofa, his cocky, gruff demeanour suddenly falling away, and replaced with an expression of unrestrained anguish. "I lost someone... my fiancé... her name was Katie. She died a bit over six months before Jack found me. It was a brain tumour, rare, aggressive, and inoperable." His voice broke and an angry, scornful look passed over his features. "I'm a bloody doctor and there was nothing I could do to save her."

Ianto felt his eyes widen in horror, immediately feeling a surge of compassion for the other man. "Oh, God. Owen, I'm sorry."

"I was a mess after that," Owen continued, clearly struggling to maintain his composure. "Everything was wrong and I didn't think I could go on without her. Anyway, Jack found me, said he needed a doctor to help him save someone important to him, and he offered me a fresh start in Cardiff... a chance to do some good he said. I had nothing to lose, so I thought what the hell. I left London and my old life behind and didn't look back." He gave a small, wry chuckle. "The first day I arrived at the Hub, I thought I was having a mental breakdown. Thought I'd walked onto the set of some science-fiction show from the telly. I'd only been there for two minutes when that pet dinosaur of yours tried to bite my bloody head off."

"She probably just wanted to say hello," Ianto said distractedly, still reeling from Owen's revelation of his tragic past. Owen couldn't have been more than about eight years older than him, and far too young to lose the person he'd loved and had obviously planned to build a life with. "Or maybe she wanted some chocolate," he added. "She's a sweetheart, really."

Owen snorted. "You're as bad as Jack. He's been doting over that crazy bird like a mother hen since the day I arrived. He was always sitting and talking to her, telling her you'd be back soon to take care of her."

Ianto swallowed hard, his throat tightening with emotion. "She means a lot to us," he murmured, more to himself than to Owen.

Owen shook his head, looking at Ianto as if he needed his head examined. "Jack told me I could make a difference, help to save lives," he continued after a moment, becoming sombre again. "He told me about you and what he wanted me to do. I thought he was completely barmy, but like I said, I didn't have anything to lose. And in the end, he was right. I was able to save you, and doing that reminded me why I decided to become a doctor in the first place... I thought if I could save a life, mine would be worthwhile. But there's always more lives to be saved, and it never seems like enough." He paused, obviously struggling to contain his emotions. "But it's what Katie would have wanted... she'd have wanted me to keep trying to save as many lives as I can. Jack reminded me of that." There was steely determination in his brown eyes. "So that's what I'm going to try to do."

Ianto found his admiration of Owen increasing by the moment. "I'm glad Jack found you," he said quietly. "Not only because you saved me," he hastened to add. "But because... well, it sounds like he saved you too."

"Yeah. I guess he did." Owen's tone softened and he looked thoughtful. He fixed Ianto with a steady gaze. "Word of advice, mate. Don't make my mistake. Don't think you've got all the time in the world." He shrugged nonchalantly, but Ianto suspected it was merely a feigned attempt to appear aloof and indifferent. "You seem like a good bloke, Ianto. And even though Harkness can be an arrogant, pretentious git, beneath it all, he's a decent bloke too. It's obvious he thinks the world of you. He almost lost you, and I know what that feels like. Wouldn't wish that on my worst enemy." He sighed, shaking his head. "Anyway, I'm just saying, make the most of it, make every day count. Especially with this job and all the weird shit we're exposed to... you never know what might happen... who knows what's going to come through that bloody Rift next."

Ianto nodded, Owen's words echoing his own sentiments. He'd been given a second chance and he didn't want to waste it, nor did he want to look back someday on his time with Jack and feel burdened with regrets. "It... er... it doesn't bother you that me and Jack..."

"What? That you're gay, or that you're shagging the boss?" Owen asked bluntly.

"I'm not gay," Ianto retorted fiercely before he could censor himself.

"Hate to break it to you, Ianto," Owen said in a matter-of-fact voice. "But if you're shagging Jack, you're not straight either."

Ianto wanted to protest further, but he knew Owen was right. He breathed out a heavy sigh. "No, I suppose not."

"Look, whatever you want to call yourself, it doesn't matter to me. Whatever floats your boat, that's what I say. If Jack makes you happy and he's who you want to be with, then what the fuck does it matter what anyone else thinks?" Owen's eyes narrowed. "If anyone gives you a hard time about it, tell them to mind their own bloody business and fuck off."

Ianto couldn't help chuckling at Owen's colourful repartee. "No, it doesn't matter," he agreed emphatically after a moment. "It's just that... until now I haven't had to think about how other people see me... how they see me with Jack."

"Well, the world's always going to judge you. Most people who see you and Jack together are going to assume you're both gay." Owen shrugged his shoulders. "Nothing you can do about that, you're just going to have to deal with it. Jack's worth it though, isn't he? Because if he's not..."

"Yes, of course he is," Ianto replied without hesitation.

Owen gave him a disparaging look. "Then get the fuck over yourself for God's sake."

Ianto frowned, indignation rising in his chest. He forced himself to take a deep breath, sighing once more and knowing that Owen was right, yet again. The wiry doctor seemed to have a refreshing but equally annoying habit of attacking the heart of a given matter with brutal, unapologetic honesty. "You're right, Owen. I'll try."

"Jesus," Owen muttered, shaking his head. "Didn't know this job was going to include being a part-time relationship counsellor."

Ianto let out a choked laugh, unable to help himself. "Thanks, Owen."

"Yeah, no worries. Any time you need someone to talk some sense into you, just give me a yell. One thing I guarantee is that I'll always give it to you straight." Owen grinned. "No pun intended."

Ianto rolled his eyes, but matched Owen's grin with one of his own.

"God knows, I spent enough time talking to you when you were in cryo-freeze. You were a great listener, by the way," Owen continued, giving Ianto a small, self-deprecating smile. "Guess I got used to talking to you."

Ianto was startled by Owen's admission, but also touched by his unexpected honesty. Knowing he'd been a sounding board for Owen's grief, albeit a blissfully unaware one, somehow made his ordeal seem less disturbing. "Well, I've never been much of a talker, but I've always been a fairly decent listener," he quipped, amused by the strange irony of the situation. "And same for me, Owen... if you ever want someone to talk to." He chuckled weakly. "As long as you don't mind that I can talk back now."

For a moment Ianto thought Owen was going to unleash a sarcastic retort, but then he seemed to think better of it. "Yeah... um, thanks, Ianto," he muttered awkwardly.

Ianto knew it was time to change the subject. "I'd offer to make you a coffee but I'm out of beans. Once I'm back at work, we'll go to the pub and I'll buy you a pint, yeah?"

"Sounds good, mate," Owen replied, his features relaxing. "Something else you should know about me is that I never turn down a free drink."

###

After Owen had departed, Ianto decided there was one other conversation he couldn't put off any longer. Retrieving his phone, he took a deep breath and steeled himself as he dialled the number. He paced anxiously as he waited for an answer.

"Hello?" a harried female voice asked.

"Rhiannon, it's Ianto. Just calling to let you know I'm back."

"Bloody hell, Ianto! We thought you were dead," Rhiannon screeched down the line, sounding almost apoplectic. "What the hell were you thinking, buggering off like that? No phone call, not even a bloody postcard. What we were supposed to think? Just that boss of yours calling and telling me you'd decided to run off to God knows where. And why is your boss American? You never told me that..."

Ianto endured his sister's relentless tirade for several minutes, cringing as he held the handset away from his ear. Jack had filled him in on the cover story that he'd needed some personal time, and had decided to travel for a while, finally ending up in a remote mountain village in Nepal, working as a United Nations volunteer. Ianto had rolled his eyes at that, but he'd agreed that it was as good an excuse as any, and better than the alternative of telling Rhiannon the truth. Apart from anything else, his sister wasn't particularly known for her discretion.

"Look, I know. I'm sorry," he eventually managed to interject. "I just needed some time to myself. How are Mica and David? And Johnny?" he asked, hoping to redirect the conversation.

His ploy worked for a minute or two, but then she was back to ranting at him and demanding that he come and visit, or alternatively, that she'd come to see him. Thinking quickly, he lied that he'd come down with the flu on his return. Ignoring his guilt over compounding the deception, he tried to convince himself that it was at least a vague approximation of the truth.

"My doctor says I need to rest for at least a week. But as soon as I'm better, I'll come and visit, I promise." Rhiannon began a fresh wave of outraged protestations. Unable to endure any more, Ianto forcefully cut her off. "I have to go. Sorry. I'll talk to you soon. Bye."

Quickly disconnecting the call, he put down the handset and slumped onto the sofa, cursing under his breath. Suddenly the idea of moving to a remote village in Nepal sounded quite appealing, he thought ruefully, assuming he could take Jack with him. While he felt guilty for lying to his sister, almost being killed by Jack's psychotic ex-boyfriend was hardly his fault, and he knew it was better that Rhiannon didn't know the truth. Not that Jack would sanction the disclosure anyway.

Wearily scrubbing his hand over his face, he grabbed the remote and resumed his DVD, gratefully losing himself once more in the world of James Bond.

###

"So, how many Bond movies did you watch today?" Jack asked later that evening, around a mouthful of sweet and sour pork.

"What makes you think I watched any?" Ianto countered, looking up from his plate and trying to maintain an innocent expression.

Jack raised an eyebrow, looking at him sceptically.

"Well, maybe one," Ianto admitted, quickly turning his attention back to his food. He was trying to make an effort, but he wasn't feeling particularly hungry.

"Just one, huh?" Jack asked teasingly.

Ianto sighed. "Maybe a bit more than one."

"So, how many then?" Jack asked again, grinning when Ianto stole another glance at him. "You know I'm not going to give up until you tell me."

"All right... three," Ianto muttered, shoving a piece of chicken into his mouth.

Jack threw his head back and laughed. "You're an addict... a Bond-aholic. I hope I'm not going to have to find you a support group to help wean you off your excesses. You know, there's a twelve-step program for people like you."

Ianto rolled his eyes. "I was having a Bond marathon, Jack. Three's the minimum." He huffed indignantly. "Anyway, there's no such thing as too much Bond."

"If you say so," Jack said, continuing to laugh and giving Ianto's shoulder a playful nudge. "Jones... Ianto Jones. I'm a Bond-aholic," he said stoically, lowering the pitch of his voice and giving a terrible impression of Ianto's Welsh accent.

Ianto couldn't help chuckling, in spite of himself. It felt good to laugh again.

A companionable silence settled between them as they continued eating. It was a few minutes later when Ianto spoke again. "Owen told me about his fiancé," he said quietly, thinking back to the medic's visit and subsequent disclosure.

"Yeah, I thought he might," Jack said with a sigh. "I didn't say anything because it wasn't my story to tell." He shook his head sadly. "It's tragic, both of them so young, just starting their lives together. Owen was in pretty bad shape when I found him... angry, bitter... lashing out at the world. I think he might have been thinking about ending it all. He needed a reminder that there was something worth living for, that he could still do some good in the world. He's a brilliant doctor."

Ianto nodded in agreement, glad that at least something good came out of the John Hart situation. "You saved him, Jack."

"And he saved you," Jack murmured, his expression pensive.

"I suppose there's a sort of balance to that," Ianto said thoughtfully. "I'm glad he's joined us. And Toshiko. Bringing her into Torchwood saved her too."

"That was you, Ianto. I wouldn't have known about her if not for you. And she's brilliant too, a fine addition to our new team." Jack shovelled some more food into his mouth. "When you come back, I want you to train them both."

"Really?" Ianto paused, his fork half-way to his mouth. He looked at Jack in astonishment.

Jack nodded. "I've taught you pretty much everything I know, and it will give you a chance to get to know them. I gave them both some basic weapons training when they started, but that's as far as we got. I didn't want to distract Owen from working on your antidote, and Toshiko's priority has been the Rift Predictor. So I'll leave the rest up to you. Neither of them are field ready, but we need them to be." He rested his hand on Ianto's denim-clad knee. "I've made it clear to both of them that you're the senior officer after me, and that they take their orders from you in my absence. Tosh will be fine. Owen might grumble, but he'll toe the line."

"Thanks, Jack," Ianto said solemnly, feeling a little overwhelmed. "I won't let you down."

"I know you won't." Jack squeezed Ianto's knee affectionately, then returned his attention back to his almost empty plate. "I know it will be different now, and I'm going to miss it just being the two of us, but you were right about needing to expand the team."

Ianto nodded. "I just... I feel like I've missed out on so much... that everything's moved on without me."

"It's not going to be easy, having to catch up with the world." Jack paused, an increasingly familiar flicker of guilt passing over his features. "But it's going to be fine and I'll help you. Trust me, okay?"

Ianto nodded again, giving Jack a small but grateful smile.

"Anyway, enough shop talk. What do you want to do tonight?" Jack put down his empty plate and wiped his mouth.

"Actually I was thinking that we could... have an early night?" Ianto asked hopefully.

"Nope. Sorry, Ianto." Jack shook his head emphatically. "Not until you've fully recovered."

Ianto frowned. While he knew he wasn't up for anything too strenuous, there were still plenty of things they could still do together. "But... we could..." he tried.

"No, not happening," Jack interrupted, his tone unyielding. "And you don't know how much willpower it's taking me to resist you. But we need to wait a bit longer." He leaned in and gave Ianto a brief, almost chaste, kiss. "You understand, right?"

Ianto sighed dejectedly. "I suppose."

"I'll make it up to you soon, I promise," Jack said, giving him another quick but tender kiss. "So, what do you want to do? And I seriously can't believe I'm saying this, but it has to be something that involves keeping our clothes on."

"Well... if you won't have sex with me... then we're watching a Bond film." Ianto gave Jack a triumphant smirk, telling himself he wasn't being in the least bit vindictive.

Jack replied with a despondent groan.