Ch POV -
Burning! Insane incessant burning... And I felt like I was trapped in some warped dimension of the Twilight Zone. What the hell happened to my normal, average, boring life?
In that life Werewolves were a thing of nightmares.
Vampires wore black capes and had big white fangs.
I missed that life.
I was trapped in my body, unable to move, unable to scream. I was unable to beg someone, anyone, to just kill me and end my torture. I heard noises around me, but they were muffled and jumbled.
I felt myself being lifted and moved but there was not a damn thing I could do about it. I, Charlie Swan, did not like to be carried. I did not like to be weak and here I was being lifted like a child.... I am
the damn police chief... Or at least I was.
Now that I was on my way to becoming a vampire, I guess that part of my life was over. I liked being Chief of Police. I liked keeping those around me safe.
Safe.
Like I kept Isabella safe.
Seriously! How had I missed the thing with the Cullens?
How did I not know that my daughter was dating a vampire? How did I miss the fact that my best friend's kid turned into a giant wolf?
"Great job protecting your kid, Charlie," I thought to myself. "She dated one monster and was best friends with another."
I should have known.
I should have seen.
Were there witches and unicorns too?
How could I have missed this?
Amazingly, all the pain didn't stop my brain from running a million miles an hour.
I thought about Billy's insistence that I not allow Bella to date the Cullen boy, that he was dangerous. Yet, he didn't seem to have an issue with her hanging out with his son the werewolf. I had seen what
werewolves can do, my poor police car was evidence of that when Paul lost his shape in my car, tearing it to shreds.
He was trying to come to my rescue when the redheaded vamp grabbed me, yet I got a front row seat to his death.
I can't lie to myself and say that Paul was a nice guy. In fact, he was downright mean and nasty. He did die trying to save me and for that I will forever be in his family's debt.
My choice... Never thought that I'd have to make a choice like that.
Charlie behind door number one, we have.... DEATH.
And behind door number two, we have... BURNING TO A CRISP, MAKING YOU WISH FOR DEATH.
Why the hell did I choose door number two again?
My pain induced brain was suddenly struggling for an answer.
Then I saw it.
The eyes... First the chocolate brown eyes of my baby girl when I held her for the first time.
I remember asking Dr. Gerandy why she didn't have blue eyes like all babies did. He laughed and told me that she was her father's daughter. And she was.
Daddy's little girl.
That's why I did this. Losing Isabella when he mother took her as an infant nearly killed me. I could handle the fact that Renee left. But my little girl, my little brown eyed baby. I spent so long lamenting over
everything I missed.
She was only seven months old when Renee had decided she had had enough of Forks. She was sitting on her own and she was so close to crawling. I never got to see that. The next time I saw her she was running
everywhere. I missed her first word, her first time crawling, her first steps. I missed birthdays and school plays. I missed her first day of school and putting a band-aid on her first skinned knee. I never got to teach her how to ride a bike or even how to drive.
And I was hurt. Never angry, because that wasn't me, but hurt. I had to hear her say 'Daddy' across a phone line. I had to see her first steps in a picture that Renee sent. When I was finally able to spend some
time with her, we were strangers. I didn't know anything about her. I didn't know her favorite color or who her best friend was. I didn't know when she went on her first date or which boy I needed to put the
fear of death into because he broke her heart.
When she finally moved in with me I was ecstatic. I was finally going to get a chance to know my baby girl.... Only I didn't know how.
I buried myself in work, sports and fishing like I always did because I didn't know how to talk to my little girl. I never knew what to say. My pride got in the way. I didn't want to look weak. I didn't want to
feel stupid and most of all I didn't want to be rejected by my little girl so I waited.
What was I waiting for?
I couldn't even answer that question.
I truly couldn't say.
Then she was gone again.
And I was worried and hurt and scared. Renee and Phil came from Florida to help in the search. Billy and the boys from LaPush helped too. APBs out everywhere and no sign of her.
Renee was angry and blamed me.
Hell I blamed me.
I had let my little girl down. I wasn't what she wanted and needed.
She was just gone.
Now I had the facts, well at least most of them, and I didn't feel any better.
My girl had been pregnant and alone, due to some mix up with the Cullens, which I would get to the bottom of. She was stuck in the middle of fantasy run amuck and she was alone. Never should have happened.
Somehow, she couldn't talk to them and I made it so she was unable to talk to me.
I was so rigid that she couldn't come to her dad for help.
She couldn't trust me enough to say, "Hey Dad, my boyfriend is a vampire and he knocked me up, I think I need your help."
When I think of it that way I kind of understand.
I probably would have sent her for psychiatric observation.
My baby girl. I would burn for her forever if it meant I didn't miss anything else. And from what I understand, I have an eternity to make up for the years I missed. And with my grandchildren, I wouldn't miss
a thing.
BPOV
My dad was going to be a vampire.
His transformation seemed to be following along the same lines as mine, at least as far as Carlisle could figure.
Carlisle and the others returned to the reserve with Laurent, who was in one piece, but he had not regained consciousness.
With vampires, there is no heart beat or respiration rate to let us know if he would be okay. Nobody had ever seen destruction of that magnitude on everyone before, and there was no way of knowing if he would ever
regain consciousness, or if he did if he would be the same.
The mood on the reserve was somber to say the least. News of Paul's death had gotten round. The official story concocted by Carlisle and the elders was that he died in trying to save my father from a bear attack.
Jasper and Emmett were sent out to Goat Rocks to bring back a big nasty Grizzly so that when the hunters on the reserve and in the town felt the need to hunt down the culprit, there was one to be found.
My dad's car was found, and blood evidence was planted so it looked like my father was attacked at his favorite fishing hole. Pieces of his uniform and his fishing gear was left as evidence. Of course his body
would never be found.
Other than the 'death' of their beloved police chief, the residents of Forks remained largely unaffected by the war that was waged in their vicinity.
Renee and Phil were on their way to Forks to deal with Charlie's death and funeral, while the whole village of LaPush was planning a fitting funeral for their hero. Leah was a mess and spent most of her time
with her parents and Paul's. Paul's parents were aware of his wolf status and knew the truth about their son's death and about Leah's pregnancy.
I truly expected Charlie to have a quick transformation like mine, but at the end of the second day, he still hadn't moved or spoken, and his heart seemed no closer to beating it's final beat.
This led to many discussions amongst the gathered vampires as to my quick transformation.
"Why is Charlie's transformation taking so long?" Rosalie asked.
"I assumed his transformation would be like mine. What would be different?" I asked.
"This is all just supposition, but maybe it is the location of the bite," Eleazar commented.
"A bite to the jugular should be just as fast, if not faster than a bite to the chest," Carlisle answered.
"So then, what do you think, Brother?" Eleazar asked.
"Maybe it has something to do with the pregnancy," Carlisle said. "Bella supported them in utero, maybe she was changed slowly due to the pregnancy and Jace's bite completed the process."
"I suppose there is no way to be sure. I was certain the quick transformation and then incredible control shown by Bella was another gift of his. Maybe I was mistaken, and it's her gift," Eleazar said.
"Is it a gift or maybe just the product of her preparation," Carlisle asked. "She knew what to expect in this life and we haven't seen someone prepared like that."
"What about the humans that the Volturi keep around. They are prepared before they are changed," Jasper argued.
"They are prepared to be monsters. Real monsters," Athenodora spat out.
"True," Eleazar said. "They expect to be blood thirsty. They expect to have no regard for human life."
"But Charlie won't have that. What about the twins?" Edward asked, pulling himself in tighter to me as I snuggled our sleeping children.
"I can assure you that the twins are in no more danger than the wolves. They don't smell remotely appetizing and even if they did they are far too small to be satisfying," Athenodora said, speaking as though she
were talking about the weather.
"And the humans in the area? Are they tempting to you? Would they be satisfying?" Rosalie sneered at Athenodora. To say my blonde sister was not her biggest fan was a major understatement.
"Actually I have never been tempted by human blood, or any blood. Not to say I haven't been partaking in it, but since Carlisle's first visit to Volterra, all those years ago, I have been disenchanted with the idea
of it. Caius and I had many fights about it, which culminated in our adoption of Victoria. I thought Caius was trying to appease me and that Victoria was a gift to me, that he finally acknowledged my desire to be a mother," she said, her voice actually showing emotion.
"It wasn't?" I asked her.
"Hardly! Caius knew that Victoria would be talented. Since Chelsea works more for Aro, he had no way to build his own army, something he desperately wanted. He had no real charisma, like Aro, therefore, no way to affect people's loyalty... So he started with a child, someone he could force to be loyal to him," she seethed.
"Was there ever any good in him?" I asked.
"Never!! Al least not in all the years I have known him. I have never seen him show kindness without an ulterior motive. I honestly think Volterra will be better off without him... As long as Aro keeps himself in
check," she said.
"Are you going back to Volterra?" Rosalie asked.
"I don't want to... But I don't know where else to go. Since I was created I have always been 'taken care of', so to speak," she said.
"When were you created?" Carlisle asked quickly, before his look turned to one of chagrin.
"You aren't supposed to ask a woman her age, Carlisle Cullen," Athenodora answered before laughing a bit. Seeing a smile on her face certainly improved her look. She was beautiful, as all vampires are, but there
was a more etherial quality about her.
"I don't know when I was truly born. Years had little meaning in those days, you see. I was one of three daughters of a man the world knew as King Herod," she started.
"Herod?" Carlisle asked, flabbergasted.
"Yes," she said quietly.
"The Herod?" Carlisle asked again.
"You mean the persecutor of Jesus at the time of his death?" she asked.
"Yeah?" he said.
"He was my half brother," she said with marginal distaste.
"So your father was Herod the great?" he confirmed.
"Yes... But he was far from great. He was a crazed man. My mother, Pallas, sent my sisters and I away to try to protect us, shortly before she was executed. We were found by three wandering nomadic vampires. They
killed and fed from our guard. The screaming from the men was horrific and my sisters and I huddled together in fear. Finally three pale skinned, red eyed men stood before us. My sister, Didyme, stood, pulling us behind her and in her bravest voice she told the men that they should not harm us as we were princesses," she said.
"So you were there at the time of Jesus' birth?" Carlisle said.
"Yes," she answered. "When my maniacal father killed all the babies to avoid the prophesy of a true king of the Jews."
"So it is all true!" Carlisle exclaimed.
"Well I can vouch for the star, and for the men from the East looking for the child. I can also vouch for the crazed actions of my brother in regards to John the Baptist and Jesus of Nazareth, although not
completely first hand," she said. "I cannot however vouch for the virgin birth as I wasn't there at conception."
"Amazing," Carlisle said. "Go on with your story."
"Well anyways, we were terrified but when the men heard we were princesses, their demeanor changed. Caius and Aro were adamant that we should be changed, although we had no clue what that meant. Marcus was truly smitten with our sister Didyme. I suppose any woman who would stand up to three vampires must have earned his respect. When he saw her emotional tie to us, he fell in love, or at least that's what he said.
Marcus insisted that we be treated well and brought us to their home. He agreed that we should be changed but wanted Didyme to make that choice herself. Sulpicia and I would not even speak to Aro and Caius,
who were murderers as far as we were concerned. Didyme, however, fell completely in love with Marcus. His sweet and kind ways won her over and she asked to be changes so that she could spend eternity with him.
We were told that we had to be changed as well or killed on the spot. We agreed to be changed," she said.
"Incredible," Carlisle whispered, reverently.
"So we were changed, and we stayed in the area for the next thirty or so years, leaving shortly after Jesus' resurrection," she stated.
"You saw that?" Carlisle gasped.
"Not personally, but Didyme did. She often dragged us to events where Jesus spoke and she adamantly believed every word he spoke. I can honestly say that the man did not smell the least bit appetizing. Judas, on the
other hand, was extremely appealing. I think that his was the only blood I ever truly lusted after. We saw many miracles that Jesus performed during his ministry and Didyme was even brave enough to touch his robe at one point. When she did he turned to her and said, 'Heaven is still promised to you, Child. Never doubt that.' " she said.
"What happened to Didyme?" Alice asked softly.
"Caius, and to some extent Aro too," Athenodora explained. "It was centuries later and we were all ensconced in the tower at Volterra already. Marcus and Didyme were so in love that it really was rather
nauseating. Sulpicia had accepted her role as Aro's mate gracefully, hoping for even a small measure of the affection that Marcus showed Didyme . I grudgingly accepted my roll as Caius' mate, knowing that
the cold and calculating man would never love me as I wanted to be loved. Caius detested the fact that Marcus would not make a move or take an action that Didyme did not approve of, so he and Aro plotted to
get Marcus out of the castle and insisted that we three ladies take a hunting trip. Sulpicia and I loved any excuse to leave the castle and begged Didyme to join us. She did. It was the early sixteenth century
by this point and we decide to go to Germany. We had only just arrived when we were confronted by a huge vampire. Didyme did as she always has, pushing herself in front of us to protect us. He attacked and
Didyme was lost, while Sulpicia and I remained untouched. We returned to Volterra bearing our sister's ashes and the gleam in Marcus' eye was forever extinguished. I watched Aro suffer with Marcus' grief and
although it took almost than two hundred years, Sulpicia and I finally got him to confess to what had happened. Caius convinced him that Didyme needed to be put into her place and that we needed to depend on
our husband's as Didyme did for Marcus."
"They hired a thug to scare you," Eleazar asked.
"Yes. Johann von Metzer was his name and he wanted the territory to himself so Aro offered him a deal, which he accepted. Caius sweetened the deal, as long as Didyme was killed. Aro did not know this, obviously,"
she ended sadly.
"And Marcus is still unaware?," Eleazar asked.
"No. He overheard a conversation between Caius and Aro shortly before Carlisle came to Volterra. As dead as he was before finding out, he was doubly so. He never smiled or showed any emotion. Aro begged for
his forgiveness but Caius remained as cold as ever about it, refusing to even acknowledge it again," she said. "And Marcus continued to live as a dead man. To this very day, I have never seen him express any
emotion. Nothing. He wishes for death as he believes in the promise of heaven, but knows that a death by his own hand will separate him from that promise. So he waits, hoping that someday, death will be granted
to him," she finished sadly.
"Poor Marcus," Bella said.
The entire room was blanketed in sadness as we all struggled to comprehend Marcus' anguish. The couples all sat together, completely silent, contemplating the loss that Marcus felt. The anguish of losing Edward,
however brief it was, was nothing in comparison to what Marcus felt and we held fast to each other. The silence was broken by a sob from Irina, who sat in one of the bedrooms with Laurent, who still had not
shown any indication of life. Her sisters dashed from the room, to her side, followed by Carlisle, Eleazar and Carmen.
Athenodora stood then and looked right at Alice.
"Alice, this was more draining than I anticipated and I feel in need of sustenance. Would you be so kind as to accompany me on a hunt?" she asked.
Alice nodded her assent and looked at Jasper, Rose and Emmett.
"All four of us will accompany you as soon as we alert the wolves to our situation," Alice agreed. She pulled out her cell phone and had Jacob on the phone. He agreed to the hunt and told Alice that they would be
visiting shortly.
Before they could leave the house, there were six wolves outside. Our new truce was strong but the distrust of our one time enemy was stronger. Edward sat quietly, intrigued in the thoughts of our wolf friends.
"Their minds are so complex," he spoke silently, seemingly just to me.
"They each have an individual mind and consciousness, but it is all shared. If one is hurt so are the rest. And imprinting is a very strong tie amongst their kind. Soul mates if you will," he said.
"Aww that sounds so romantic," I said.
"OH HELL NO!!!" Edward roared suddenly, springing up from the couch, nearly dumping the twins and me on the floor.
All the vampires came running, except for Irina and the group that had just left to go hunting.
"What is it, Edward?" I asked, alarmed.
"NO WAY IN HELL," he roared, shaking with rage.
"Edward! What's going on?" Carlisle asked.
I handed the twins to Esme quickly, although they were awake and starting to cry.
"Please Edward," I asked. "Tell me what is wrong."
"That.. That.. Dog..." he sputtered.
"What?" I asked. "Who?"
"He... He.... He imprinted on our daughter!" he raged.
"What?" I demanded, finally feeling some of Edward's angst. "Who imprinted on Arriel?"
"Jacob," Edward growled.
"What the hell! Where is Jacob?" I demanded. "He needs to be here to explain this! She's a baby for crying out loud!!"
Jacob appeared outside in wolf form and my immediate desire was to attack him. I was seriously ready to kill, and I could tell that Edward was ready to do the same. I heard Tanya on the phone, talking to Alice,
begging her to get them all back here immediately.
Jacob, in wolf form, hung his head and lopped around the side of the house.
My anger temporarily abated when I could no longer see him.
"Explain, Edward. Please," I begged.
"When you said that imprinting was romantic, one of the wolves obviously forgot about my gift and thought, 'maybe she won't mind knowing that Jake imprinted on her daughter'," he explained, still working to keep
calm.
Jake stepped back in front of the house in human form, wearing only a pair of shorts. "Edward. Bella, please. We need to talk about this," he begged.
"I don't think that's a great idea," Jasper said, appearing suddenly from the side. "Neither Bella nor Edward seem in very good control of their emotions at the moment."
"Please, Bella. It's not as bad as you think. Edward... Let me explain," he begged.
"Start talking, Dog," Edward growled. "And mind your thoughts because I see those too."
"Imprinting is involuntary. Not something we control... And I certainly would never have chosen a baby. Not that she isn't perfect or anything," he rambled. Rosalie and the rest had arrived back at this point and stood
on the front porch, glaring at Jacob.
"What have you done, Mutt?" Rosalie seethed.
"I would never have chosen this. Bella, you have to believe me. I have no romantic feelings for her. Edward look into my brain. You are a freaking mind reader. You can see. It's not bad. It just is what it
is. I have no bad intentions... No lust or anything. Emotion Man, Jasper ... Tell everyone what I'm feeling. It's not bad..." Jacob begged.
Jasper and the others turned from the porch and came in. Edward pulled himself out of the grasp of his family and went to Esme, taking Arriel from her arms and cradling her to his chest.
"I suggest you leave,Jacob," he said, more calmly. "Give us an hour. Then we'll talk."
"Thank you, Edward," Jacob said, hanging his head and turning around.
"Someone better start explaining," I said.
"His emotions were pure and honest," Jasper spoke slowly. "He loves her, that much is certain, but not romantic love. It is very similar to what you and Edward feel for her. Utter devotion, protectiveness,
love. There was no hint of lust or malice. He was truly desperate for you guys to understand."
"His mind held no hint of anything bad. It almost mirrored my own thoughts about our children. He would die for her, in a heartbeat. Give her the sun, moon and stars if he could. He will accept her however we are
willing to share her. He is physically unable to hurt her or harm her as doing so would cause him more pain than anything else," he said.
"So are you saying we should allow this?" I demanded.
"Far from it," Edward said. "I'm just saying that we shouldn't kill him."
"Are you sure about that?" I grumbled, calming slightly.
"Will someone please explain what is going on?" Emmett said.
Most of the others agreed that they were also confused.
"Apparently the wolves meet their mates through a process they call imprinting. Basically, the way Sam explained it in his mind is that they meet their soul mate. It is not always romantic love, but apparently it will be.
Basically the wolf will become everything his imprint needs him to be. Quil's imprint is a two year old girl named Claire. He is her babysitter, her protector, her playmate. He loves her unconditionally and she apparently feels the same," he said.
"So that's it?? Arriel will be in love with Jacob and she has no real choice?" I asked, infuriated. "She can't even hold up her own head and she is already bound to be the mate of a wolf?"
"That is messed up!" Rose agreed.
"Apparently she will have a choice... But if he is destined to be everything she could ever want or need..." Edward said.
"Of course she'd choose him," Tanya said.
I growled in response.
"What if I am not willing to share, now or ever?" I asked.
"I am certainly not about to just welcome him in with open arms. He may be a good enough guy, but I thought I'd have years before someone came courting my daughter!" Edward growled.
"So what do we do?" Carlisle asked.
"I don't want him near her trying to stake his stupid wolfy claim on her before she can even walk or talk," I said.
"We could kill him," Rosalie suggested jokingly.
Well, at least I think she was joking.
"We just need to go on with life... Anything between him and her will have to wait until she is older. She will have an unbiased choice. I have nothing against the guy, personally, and I even find the whole
imprinting thing rather interesting. But, that said, I cannot and will not allow him access to her at this point. I haven't had my claim on her for long enough," Edward said, whimpering the last part.
"So what do we tell Jacob?" Carlisle asked. "Do we even know what the separation will do to them?"
"We should talk to the elders about this.... after the service for Paul," Edward said.
Carlisle called Billy to let him know that we were willing to talk about the whole imprinting thing after Paul's service. He refused to hear anything Billy had to say on the matter, only assuring him that we
would attend the service.
How I wished I could attend.
The service today was scheduled as native custom dictated. Quick and full of tradition. He was being given a hero's funeral, usually reserved for chiefs.
A hero who died trying to save my father. The official story about an animal attack had been accepted, and, of course, Jasper and Emmett's provision of a real grizzly made it more acceptable.
The tribe sent out all it's hunters to scout the rogue animal which was captured and killed by the hunting party, consisting of all the fellow wolves. The blood was of course missing as you can't get Emmett within
five feet of a bear without him being thirsty, but that just made skinning and burning his carcass easier.
The hide would be used ceremonially, to honor Paul's family. Leah's pregnancy had been announced and the dates had been fudged as it seemed that Leah would have a wolf length pregnancy instead of a human one.
Sixty three days was Carlisle's guess, which was still longer than my vampire pregnancy but significantly shorter than the traditional forty week human pregnancy.
Leah.
She was holding up as well as could be expected, spending as much time as possible with me and the twins. It seemed to give her comfort being near us. Sue and Harry had taken her this morning to dress her for the
funeral. I really wish I could be there for her.
I couldn't, nor could I be at the service for my father in Forks later in the week. I looked too different to just be able to show up as myself, back from being missing, and not different enough to be mistaken for someone else.
So for both events I was stuck here with the twins, Athenodora and Charlie. And during my father's service, with the Denali's as well, since too many vampires would be.... difficult to explain. And since the Denali's didn't know Charlie, they were the easiest choice.
Charlie.
The blood evidence found was deemed incompatible with life and Charlie was declared dead. I brought this on him. Me. My choices led my father to this... His change should be done. Mine was so short, but it's
been a day and a half and he hasn't moved a muscle or made a sound.
"Bella," Jasper said to me, as a warning.
"What?" I asked, looking at him.
"You can't worry. It isn't going to accomplish anything," he said.
"I don't get it, Jazz," I said. "My change was quick. Why isn't Charlie's?"
"Carlisle is probably right. Your quick change probably had to do with your pregnancy, carrying two half vampires must have had some effect on your system. Maybe that's what made your change easier. Then again, maybe it's your gift," he said.
"We already know I'm a shield. Eleazar didn't sense anything else," I said.
"Exactly. You are a shield, Bella. There may be other things that Eleazar can't see or sense. I don't know of any other humans who have been able to survive a vampire pregnancy," he said.
"How many other vampire and human pregnancies have you ever heard of?" I asked.
"Precisely. If it were a common occurrence, I am sure we would have heard of it," he said.
"That speaks more of Edward's fortitude than mine," I said.
"You still sell yourself short, Little Sister," he said.
I huffed out a breath.
"Bella, you were a magnificent human. Strong, resilient, forgiving, nurturing, smart. I could go on and on but unlike Emmett, making you blush isn't my goal in life," he said.
I laughed at him. He really was a goofball.
"Thanks, Jazz," I said.
"Anytime," he said. "And Bella..."
"What?" I asked.
"Sorry about the whole trying to take a snap out of you at your birthday party.... I never really apologized for that," he said, looking kind of sheepish.
"Don't even think of it, it's all forgiven," I said.
Truly I had forgotten all about it. I had never blamed him for it. I was the one to cut myself in a house full of vampires.
Leah's POV
Today was the day we would lay the love of my life to rest.
How the hell was I supposed to do that?
Paul and I had only been together for a short time, just over a year but he was my everything.
I had truly known Paul since I was a little girl. He was three years older than me, so we never traveled in the same circles.
That certainly didn't stop me from ogling him as I got older. He was my first crush. I think it was the bad boy image that he projected. He was big and tough, and had an attitude that stopped people in their
tracks. I never thought he would have noticed me.
Then Sam came along. Sam and Paul had never been close friends. They were the same age, but Paul, the rebel, was more rough and tumble and Sam was more clean cut and polite. He was the nice boy. The first time he came calling I was sixteen, and he asked my father if he could ask me to a dance they were having on the reserve. My dad said yes.
So it began. Over the next two years Sam and I became inseparable. Everyone thought it would only be a matter of time before he put a ring on my finger. I couldn't wait.
Then Sam disappeared.
I was devastated and so were my parents. My mom tried to get me to forget Sam, to move on, but I was stubborn. I thought my stubbornness paid off when he came back. He was a little distant at first, but soon
he was the same man I was in love with, only a little hotter and a lot more tired.
Then a month after we finally were back to normal, my cousin Emily came for a visit. My little cousin and best friend. I told her all about Sam. I told her everything. I couldn't wait for her to meet my Sam.
Somehow I wish I had waited.
I certainly didn't understand how Sam managed to drop me like a hot potato for my cousin. He didn't even have the guts to tell me anything. No reasoning, just sorry I'm not in love with you anymore. I
love Emily.
Talk about betrayal!
Even worse, Emily loved him too. My feelings were swept aside and within a week Sam had moved Emily into the little house he had been building. The ring appeared on her finger a few weeks later.
My parents tried to comfort me but at the same time they were fighting. I had no clue why at the time. I now know. Apparently my mom wanted to tell me about phasing and imprinting, and my father was adamant that I be kept in the dark.
I was so miserable and upset. Instead of confronting anyone or making a scene, I threw myself into my studies, enrolling college in Port Angeles. I spent as little time in LaPush as possible. Even less when
I started to over hear the talk around town.
First it was pity. Poor Leah. How awful Sam was. Emily is a boyfriend stealer and a hussy. But eventually it changed. Suddenly I was a bitter harpy. No wonder Sam left me for Emily. Sam was wonderful,
Emily was sweet and I was nothing.
I spent even more time away after that, eventually meeting a couple of people who invited me to share an apartment in town with them so I didn't have the hour long commute twice a day. I gratefully accepted.
With my extra time I took extra courses and a part time job.
My parents were happy for me.
I was happy for me. I think so anyway.
I finished my two year program in eighteen months and decided to go home to LaPush for a week before moving to San Diego, where I had gotten a job. I wanted a chance to say goodbye to my home, my parents and my
brother, because I truly hoped never to return.
Maybe it was a mistake. Maybe it was fate.
I hadn't even gotten out of my car when I first heard Sam's voice coming from the open kitchen window of my home. I hadn't seen or heard him in over a year and the fact that he was in my house brought every emotion I had hidden to the surface.
He was arguing with my parents and Seth. My mom was mad, my dad seemed calm and collected, but Seth, he was furious.
I caught bits and pieces of the conversation, but enough to understand what he wanted. Sam was going to marry Emily but she wanted me to be her maid of honor, and he insisted that Emily would get what she
wanted. My mother told him that he had broken my heart once and that it was too selfish for them to insist I needed a front row seat to to watch the two people that had done it on the happiest day of their
lives. My father, to my horror sided with Sam, saying it was time I got over it. Seth was furious at everyone; always my protector.
My anger and utter desperation surfaced. I didn't know what to do, but suddenly I wanted to run, so I did. I took off on foot into the woods behind the house, sobbing. My body was literally boiling with anger,
and I knew I needed to get away, far away.
I ran for hours, finally ending up at a small waterfall that Sam and I had spent hours at when we were dating. I stopped at the water and looked down at my reflection.
What was wrong with me?
Why wasn't I good enough for Sam?
How could he care so little for me that he would insist that I needed to be at his wedding?
I heard a noise behind me and turned to see Sam standing there, wearing a pair of cutoff shorts and nothing else.
"What do you want?" I seethed.
"Leah, we need to talk," he said.
"Why Sam?" I asked.
"Leah..." he started.
"No Sam! Let me speak. After I'm done I'll listen to you. But I will not be at your wedding. Nothing you could ever say would make me subject myself to that," I said.
"LeeLee..." he said.
"Don't you dare!" I shouted. "You have no right to call me that. You have no right!"
He dropped his head into his hands and stood silently. I decided that it was my time to talk.
"You were my everything, Sam. I would have given up everything for you. I gave you everything I had. When you disappeared I wanted to die. I couldn't even move. It took weeks after you came back for us to find
that. And we did. I thought you wanted forever with me. I thought we'd grow old together and have children and grandchildren. I gave you my whole heart. You were my first everything, Sam. My first kiss. My first date. My first boyfriend. My first love. My first.... And then I wasn't enough... I wasn't good enough or pretty enough or smart enough. I wasn't..." I cried, staring at him as he looked at the ground.
Suddenly, in the middle of my diatribe, he looked up at me in horror.
"I have to go," he said, turning and sprinting into the woods.
I wasn't even good enough for him to listen to me.
I threw myself onto the ground in a heap and wept. I wept for what I'd lost and what he'd done. I cried for hours, huddled in a heap on the forest floor. When the tears finally subsided I felt the anger again.
How dare he treat me like I was worthless!
How dare he come and demand that I speak to him, yet he couldn't even listen!
The rage built up in me. I wanted to hit something or someone. I wanted to smash things.
My rage built up and my body heat was intense. I started to tremble with the force of the anger I felt. I opened my mouth to scream with rage when I felt a ripping sensation go through my body.
The sound that came out of my mouth was far from a scream. In fact it sounded an awful lot like a howl.
I looked into the water at my reflection, conscious that my body was not moving the way I was used to. Ah crap! The old wolf stories were true.
But wait. The stories said that the wolves were the sons... I was not a son. How the hell was I a freaking wolf?
I glanced around in frustration, not sure what to do. Then I heard them...
"Who are you?" the voices in my brain asked.
"I don't owe you anything," I seethed at them.
"Where are you?" a voice asked.
"None of your business. Get out of my head!" I raged.
"Listen, Man," a voice said, above the others.
"Wrong," I said.
"What do you mean wrong?" the voice asked.
"I am no freaking MAN," I countered.
"Sam, what the hell is this?" one of the voices said.
"I don't know," he said.
Sam was now a voice in my head and I was in the body of a wolf. This better be a dream!
"Where are you, Wolf Girl?" Sam demanded.
So my nickname was born.
"Exactly where you left me, Sam Ulley," I said.
"Leah?" he said.
"Bingo! We have a winner! Get the man a prize!" I deadpanned.
"Don't move, Leah. I'll be right there," he said.
"Hell no! I don't want or need you anywhere near me, Sam Ulley. You come near me and so help me God, I will rip your throat out!" I threatened.
"Lee, you need help with this," Sam said.
"Get one of the other voices to do it. I won't be held responsible for my actions if you are within fifty feet of me!" I said.
"Paul, Jared, go!" Sam's voice commanded. "She's up by Toleak Point, at the waterfalls. Leah, stay there!"
As much as I didn't want to stay where I was, I found myself unable to leave. What the heck??
I tried to calm myself, knowing Jared and Paul would be coming soon. I wondered what they knew about the whole wolf thing.
"Leah," a new voice in my mind called.
I knew that voice. It was Seth. What the heck was my baby brother doing in there.
This had to be a dream.
"Yeah, Seth," I said.
"Welcome to the wonderful world of myths and legends," he said.
"What do you know about all this stuff, Little Brother?" I asked him.
"Not a lot actually. I just changed a couple of hours ago. Sam pissed me off and then he heard you run off and took off after you. Mom and Dad tried to calm me down but it didn't really work. The next thing I
knew, BAM!! I had paws!" he said. "It's so cool, Lee."
"Cool?" I asked. "Seth, I have a freaking tail and my favorite blouse is in shreds on the ground. How is this cool?"
"All those stories, Lee. The protectors of our tribe are true," he said, sounding extremely happy.
"Not exactly, Little Brother. The stories said the Quileute SONS. I am not s son," I said.
"Evolution," he said.
"Is that why Sam ran off?" I asked.
"Yeah, he showed up here to help, along with a couple of others," Seth said.
Our conversation was interrupted by the arrival of two wolves. Jared was a murky brown color... Very unattractive. But Paul... Paul... That was it. One look at his deep grey colored fur and I was done. It felt like every fiber in my being was calling out to him. The way he looked at me, seemed like he felt the same way.
Jared, being Jared, tried to break up the staring contest we seemed to have going on, before it dawned on him what had happened.
"Oh, Sam," he called internally.
"What?" I heard Sam say.
"We have a slight situation here," he said.
I only barely acknowledged the sound as I felt myself drawn to close the distance between myself and Paul, He started moving towards me too.
"What?" Sam said exasperated.
"Leah and Paul... Well I have never seen it happen before but I'm pretty sure..." Jared started to explain.
"NO!" Sam roared.
"Don't you dare, Paul!" he said.
"How can I not, Sam?" Paul asked.
We were almost completely nose to nose at this point. I could hear his heart beating rapidly, and mine felt like it was going to leap from my chest.
"You better get out of there, Jared," Sam said, sounding resigned. "From the looks of things, Paul can handle this."
And he did.
He calmed me down with just his presence, and caressed my fur with his muzzle.
Paul, the biggest hot head of all, had calmed me down.
We cuddled together, talking calmly about all the benefits and drawbacks of being a wolf. He told me how to control phasing and asked me to try phasing back. I did.
I did not consider the fact that I would not be wearing clothes when I phased back and was instantly embarrassed that I was in front of him completely naked. He sensed my unease and phased back as well.... In
the same state of undress.
"Don't be embarrassed, you are beautiful," he soothed, curling his body to mine.
We stayed that way, naked and curled together for a while. I'm not truly sure if it was five minutes or an hour. All I know is that I didn't want to leave the little cocoon that we had created.
Finally, he explained imprinting to me. In doing so, I understood what had happened between Sam and Emily, and although it did not lessen the grief I felt, I could not deny the fact that I would have ditched Sam
in a heartbeat for Paul.
San Diego was no longer even a consideration.
I was home and the very thought of being without Paul for an hour was painful.
Now we would be apart for a lifetime.
How had that happened?
How was I going to get through the funeral, let alone the rest of my life?
I knew I needed Bella with me. She calmed me and held me together. I'd never make it through the funeral without her. And to think, I hated vampires days ago.
"Mom," I called to her.
"What, Honey," she said, entering the room.
"I need Bella with me today," I said.
"It's not possible, Leah. People know Bella. She looks to different, yet still too similar," she said.
"I won't make it without her. Isn't there anything we can do?" I begged.
"Let me talk to your dad. If there is even a remote possibility, he'll make it happen," she said.
I sat on the bed and waited, looking around at my old room. Would I stay here or live in the house that I had shared with Paul?
I laid back and thought of the happy times we had shared.
Our silly spats, just so we could make up...
Running together in wolf form...
And of course the sex... Both in wolf and human form was amazing.
The touches. Walking up in his arms. Sitting on the couch watching movies. Cooking for his ridiculously large wolf appetite. Grocery shopping, when people thought we were shopping for a large group when
it was truly just for us. Brushing our teeth next to each other at night.
My Paul.
How was I supposed to say goodbye?