CHAPTER 9
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Darcy took the stairs two at a time, nearly breaking out in a run to get back to her room. No doubt Lars had wondered what was taking her so long and gone to look for her. If anyone found out about where she'd been…
She nearly came to a dead stop as the thought really hit her.
What was she doing? For some reason, something about him told her he was good, against all visible evidence to the contrary. Everything she'd said about him, about what he'd done... it was true and he hadn't tried to deny it.
If she was anyone else, she'd be warning herself away from a guy like that.
No doubt if Jane found out, that's exactly what she'd do. As would anyone else.
And Loki, what would he think? He had actually opened up to her, albeit only slightly. But if anyone else found out, he'd probably never speak to her again.
What was wrong with her that made that thought so unappealing?
She did think there was so much more to him. But was that only because she hoped it was true, just as much as Thor did? Or was something truly there underneath everything?
His words from moments earlier came back to her with clarity. He'd shown concern for her injury, he'd actually apologized to her, a feat that she'd never been able to get one of her exes to do, ever. And he'd shared something with her that was big. He'd started to open up to her.
The giddiness that thought brought to her was too much for her to handle. She should remain level-headed, approach the situation with caution.
Perhaps the fact that he was confined was helping her to feel calm around him. How would she react if he were standing in front of her, free of his prison?
She couldn't even imagine it.
Pushing the thoughts away and tamping down her smile, she pushed open the door to her apartment after swiping her key card, and did her best to even out her breathing.
The fridge door in the small kitchen to the left closed as Lars poked his head out.
"Hey, had a good time?"
Great, so he hadn't gone to look for her yet. She'd been lucky.
"Yeah, didn't mean to keep you up. I'm heading to bed now."
"Goodnight."
Without looking back, too afraid that her breathlessness and the lie in her eyes would betray her, she headed back to her room and climbed under the covers.
Her head was beginning to ache again, no doubt from the concussion, but she couldn't seem to close her eyes and sleep.
Tonight was the first night they slept under the same roof, albeit nearly a mile away from each other. Though they'd done up her room really nicely, it still felt foreign to her. Out of place.
It had to be so much worse for him.
Her thoughts returned to Loki and his brother.
The magnitude of what he'd shared with her… she was willing to bet he'd never admit such a thing to Thor. Which had to mean he trusted her, even if it was only with this small thing.
Her realization washed away the doubt that had flooded her mind as she'd walked back to her room. If he could admit such a thing, if he could open up to her that much, then she had to be right. There was good in him somewhere, and if there was something worth saving, then she had to do what she could.
She could know the man underneath, and she could fight for him.
She'd somehow sensed from the beginning that there was so much below his icy surface, and she was more determined than ever to know what he kept hidden so deeply inside himself. She would be his ally.
The thought of her somehow saving a God so powerful he'd nearly blown up an entire city was so crazy she couldn't help letting a giggle escape. Maybe it was the concussion making her wistful and dramatic. Whatever it was, it lit up a sliver of hope inside of her for the dark, brooding Asgardian.
And as she fell asleep, she couldn't help but look forward to the next time she saw him, hoping she would steadily chip away at those walls so she could see more of the man underneath.
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The next morning was considerably rougher than the night before. Darcy's faint concussion from the evening before had blossomed into a full on migraine, and it had only worsened throughout the day to the point that it simply hurt to think.
"Why don't you call it a day? You've done enough for now."
"Jane…" She didn't want to give up and admit that it was bothering her. That would only encourage Jane to keep fussing and trying to persuade her to stay in the compound with her.
As she stood, Lars pushed off from his post leaning against the wall behind her. She didn't know how someone could sit all day in one position like that and not want to blow his brains out. She had to hand it to him, he was one dedicated bodyguard.
At lunch, she'd thought of going to see Loki again, but with Lars constantly shadowing her, she decided against it.
Besides, the silliness of the night before had faded away to replaced with gritty realism and she didn't have such confidence that she could win him over or sway him in any way whatsoever.
After all, she was simply a human, and his world was so different from hers. He was forced to remain here for now, locked away and chained, but if he had the slightest chance of leaving, there was no question. He'd simply disappear. There was no denying his stubbornness. She felt tired even thinking of trying to change his mind.
Instead, she figured she might as well spend time with him when she felt like it and learn more about him because she was curious.
The room faded in and out for a second as her head pounded with her heartbeat.
"I'm fine, I just need a minute."
Jane glanced at Lars but Darcy waved a hand at him, desperate to ward him off if only to get a moment of solitary peace and quiet for once in the entire day. He barely let her go to the bathroom without trying to come with her.
He looked like he'd been about to argue, but a ringing stopped him. Pulling out his cell phone, he excused himself and stepped outside.
"Darcy, you clearly aren't feeling well…"
"It's nothing. It'll pass. I'll just run to the bathroom and be right back."
Jane nodded, though her expression was disapproving. Thankful for the solitude, she stepped into the hallway and headed to the bathroom.
Luckily she didn't run into Lars along the way, which meant he'd wandered down another hallway for his private phone conversation. Probably Nick Fury sending him more orders.
Without really paying attention to her steps, she walked into the bathroom and stared at herself in the mirror, not really seeing anything.
Her vision was blurry, and the pounding in her head was growing louder and louder by the minute. She just needed a moment to sit and rest….
Stepping forward, she placed her hands on the countertop and leaned her weight into them, nearly folding over herself.
So maybe she was being stupid and stubborn. She ought to head back to her room and rest, and come back when she was feeling better.
Decided, she pushed off the countertop and winced as she stepped back to the research lab she'd been working in with Jane.
She nearly tripped on the carpet as she stepped, and the lights felt too bright. Migraines had always been her undoing. She tried to take another step, and one more, before the pain was so great she could only fold over with a wince, gripping her head in her hands.
Some pills to knock her out right now would be just perfect.
She tried to stand, but failed. Not trusting her own balance, she moved to sitting and curled her hands around her head, hoping and waiting for the fierce pounding in her head to stop.
A loud clatter of footsteps made her gasp, elevating the pain that threatened to tear her brain apart. It was followed by a louder rush of steps, and a gasp.
"Darcy, are you ok? You need help. Lars…"
Before Darcy could process the words, she felt herself being lifted in large, strong arms and cradled against a solid, warm chest. Pressing her head against his shoulder seemed to help somewhat, so she let her eyes fall shut and didn't question it as Lars stepped lightly but quickly down the hall and back towards the dormitory.
Jane was protesting and fussing, but something shushed her before she felt herself being deposited in the fluffiest blankets she'd ever slept in. Someone was tucking her into them, then turned off the lights, leaving her in blessed darkness and allowing her thoughts to clear up the slightest bit.
"I'll check on you in a bit."
Lars and Jane left her, closing the door silently, and Darcy found she didn't have the energy to fight it anymore. Letting her thoughts slip away, she drifted into sleep.
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He'd dreamed of Thanos again, binding him in chains and laughing at his torture before abandoning him to the dark creatures that made up his vicious army. He'd had this dream many times before, with variations on the same theme, but always he ended up alone, shouting for help with no one to hear him. No one to save him.
Except that night, it was different.
When Thanos had abandoned him and Loki lay weak, locked in his iron chains and shivering from the emotional and physical abuse, when he called out for help, he'd heard her voice, faintly calling his name as though across a great distance.
Immediately, alarm had spiked through him. If he heard her, then others must have heard her too. She was in danger, she couldn't save him.
Yet why had she been there? Why would she call out to him now, when he'd never before received an answer? Never before been freed from his chains?
How could a human hope to help free him from the darkest of all creatures in the universe?
He would sooner destroy her.
Yet there was no denying that hearing her voice, finally having a response, had shaken the cold, dark loneliness and hopelessness that had always engulfed him.
It had given him renewed energy to fight, and he thought he'd nearly broken out of his chains before he'd woken from the dream with a violent shake.
Awake, and back in the glass prison the Midgardians had crafted so cleverly for him.
A different sort of torture entirely.
Loki looked around, sighing in distaste as he tried to brush off the residual fear and adrenaline that ran through his veins from the dreams.
He knew they were more than dreams. They were plans of what Thanos hoped to do to him when he found him again, projected across the universe to find him and weaken him. Another cruel trick from Thanos to seek him out, trying to locate him in dreams so that he might find his true location and punish him.
All the more reason she couldn't be there. If Thanos could project himself into dreams and see her, he could invade her dreams, bring her nightmares and twist her mind into giving up their location. He could destroy her.
The thought was more worrisome than he cared to admit. He knew how to guard himself in dreams, but did she?
Did any of the foolish Midgardians who thought they had power over him?
Thor had no clue of the scope of Thanos' powers, of what he yearned to do and the pain and torture he would inflict to make it happen.
If he did, he would surely bury Loki halfway across the universe where it wouldn't matter what happened to him. So long as his Jane was safe.
And as long as Jane was protected, Darcy would be too.
Loki brushed the negative thoughts away before they could unsettle him.
He'd had enough of thinking of Thor as his enemy. He'd hated him at times, loathed him, been jealous of him, and wished him gone, but with Thanos hanging over his head like a hangman's noose, he no longer had the energy to spare hating Thor.
Perhaps that was why he'd felt comfortable enough to admit what he had to Darcy.
For so long, his whole world had been Asgard, father Odin and Thor, and things that had seemed momentous and horrible were so inconsequential now next to the reality of his situation.
What did it matter what Nick Fury decided to do with him?
He had no hope of a real future.
He hadn't realized all that he was losing when he'd let go that night on the bifrost, but there was no turning back.
A flicker of blue eyes interrupted his thoughts as he unwillingly remembered Darcy from the night before.
She was exactly the reason why he could never help Nick Fury. Humans were weak, so frail. While the Avengers and their armies could put on a good show of force, if they faced down Thanos' true wrath they would never survive.
The hopelessness ate away at him day after day, the way he knew Thanos hoped it would.
He couldn't allow his mind to be defeated.
Straightening his spine, he looked around his cage with a bitter laugh.
She hadn't come today. She'd been coming so regularly in the past few weeks that he'd actually missed her. Not because he was attached to her, not in the slightest.
But she was a distraction from the solitude and the silence, and she didn't nag him with questions he didn't want to answer.
She simply shared her life with him.
He still couldn't shake the sound of her voice calling out to him from his thoughts as the main door to his prison enclosure opened.
Thor was back to see him, this time with a determined-looking Jane in tow.
Intrigued, he waited for them to step up to his glass and speak.
"I thought perhaps today you could benefit from learning about this Earth science Jane works with so well. It is very technical, but I think you might like it."
"I have no interest whatsoever."
Daunted, Thor frowned but Jane walked up to him with a no-nonsense look, meeting his eyes sharply before pulling Thor forward.
"I think that you should at least know what you're giving up before you do so, don't you?"
He didn't answer. She must have taken that as a request to continue, as she launched into a detailed explanation of how her science of physics and astronomy helped her to reconstruct the bifrost. He didn't pay attention until her explanation turned to the futile battle he'd waged in their human city of New York, when he'd last been fully under the control of Thanos.
"Tony explained what he saw beyond the wormhole, and we need to be prepared for when that happens again. I believe we can do that, and that is what Fury and SHIELD is working for—"
She continued, but his mind was frozen on her previous words. They thought to prepare to fight an army like Thanos'? Did they not realize they would lose everything?
"No."
Jane stopped mid-sentence with a frown and studied him carefully. Thor placed a supportive hand on her shoulder.
"No?"
"You will lose instantly. It is pointless to try and fight him."
Thor, who had remained stoic through Jane's explanations, actually puffed up with pride as he reminded Loki of his ridiculous band of Avengers.
"We stopped them the first time, when we are better prepared for next time it won't be a problem."
"The next time will not be anything like the first."
"Oh? And what will it be then?"
"So much worse than you can ever know."
Thor frowned as Jane continued to study him. She was harder to read, guarded with her emotions, intelligent eyes assessing.
"Maybe with your help, we all stand a better chance. You aren't alone you know."
The words were eerie, echoing his dream and Darcy crying out to him. Loki masked his surprise under his stern expression, fighting to maintain his unruffled outer appearance.
If they only knew what state his mind was in.
"I have no wish to fight a losing battle."
Jane met his eyes and the two were silent for a long moment before she pulled away and headed toward the exit.
"Think about it."
Thor accompanied her to the door and saw her out with a kiss before he came back to stand in front of Loki.
"You must acknowledge her work is brilliant. There is so much more than we knew…"
"Her science is not magic. She does not understand our world."
Thor looked disgruntled, and for a moment, Loki was reminded of his frustration as a boy when he hadn't gotten what he'd wanted. Still so certain he would get his own way in the end.
"By that account, I do not either. I have no magic."
Loki did not comment, but the look in his eyes was cold enough.
"You spend so much energy fighting them all. Think what you could do with it instead, if you worked with them. Do you truly believe it is such a hopeless cause? Are you willing to give up your life out of stubbornness?"
"I have no choice. It is lost either way."
"What does that mean?" When Loki refused to answer, Thor's expression tightened with frustration and anger. "Brother, what can I do to make you open up to me?"
"We are not brothers."
Thor stepped back, suddenly resigned in a way Loki had rarely seen him.
"And that is always how you will think of us, isn't it?"
Loki did not dare answer.
"I am such a fool…"
A sarcastic reply came to Loki's lips, but he found he couldn't speak it aloud. He wanted to reach out, climb out of the hole he'd buried himself in, but his grave was too deep.
Anyone who tried to help him would simply end up buried alongside him.
Thor did not deserve that. The shred of concern for Thor Loki didn't want to admit to grew bigger as he looked at his brother.
He had everything, and yet somehow, he still appeared weak.
Loki would lose his own battle, and he wouldn't allow Thor to be dragged down with him.
The thought echoed in his mind as his brother hung his head and left the room, abandoning Loki to the silence that enveloped him once more.