"How do I get rid of him?"

"The Winter Soldier?"

"Yes."

"You don't."

"What?"

"The trick is not to get rid of him. He is a part of you now. And you've already forgotten a huge part of yourself. Trying to erase another part of your persona won't bring any good. It's a negative tendency. The trick is to learn how to co-exist and always be in control."

She told him that he had to learn to stay in control. And then she added:

"It's like being an addict or an alcoholic. Even when you stop using you're not healed completely. You're never completely fine after you've started. There're only different levels of better. And there's only one way to go: you confront your demons every day and you fight for your "better" every day."

-WS-

"I think it's time you get some sleep."

Jamie blinked once..twice..and looked up from her tablet.

"And the fact that I'm telling you this says a lot." Bruce, arms crossed on his chest, was holding the doorframe.

"Is it so late already?"

"Around 2 a.m." The scientist confirmed.

"No..." Jamie sighed and yawned seconding her friend's words. "Or is it."

"Just stay in the Tower tonight. There's really no point in heading back home."

The young woman nodded. There was no point in arguing. And she didn't have the strength to anyway. It was good that she could use any of Tony's free guest rooms anyway.

"You gonna take your own advise?" She asked turning off the tablet.

"I have to finish something first." Bruce aid and started to retreat.

"Why am I not surprised?"

"But you are staying in the Tower so that Tony wouldn't have to hack the database of all hospitals and morgues?" He specified.

"It does sound like Tony..." Jamie narrowed her eyes. "But something tells me that you'd be the one to set him up to this..."

Bruce chuckled and left sending an "Oh shrinks" over his shoulder.

"Miss Loeb?" An electronic voice from above distracted Jamie from her half-asleep state couple minutes later.

"Why aren't you asleep, my A.I. Friend?" She sighed and once again fell back on her chair.

"I don't need to sleep, Miss."

Jamie huffed light-heartedly at the remark:

"What is it, Jarvis?"

"Your room is prepared for you on Mr. Stark's floor."

"Thank you."

"And I just wanted to let you know that Mr. Barnes is having difficulties sleeping again."

That got her alerted:

"Give me his vitals."

The screen rolled down in front of her going chaotic with diagrams, Jamie's eyes running a mile, catching all the ups and downs of tiny lines, numbers telling her more than she could see on a real-life picture.

"Elevator, Jarvis!"

She was down on his floor mare seconds after.

He was on the couch, probably fell asleep there. Shirtless, only wearing a pair of slacks. Normally Jamie would take a moment to appreciate what usually was hidden by the long sleeves of his shirts but James was going rigid in his dream-like state, more like a nightmare...definitely a nightmare.

"James." Jamie was on her knees in front of the couch.

"James." She called again, he kept tossing and turning unresponsive.

"James." This time the young woman was a little louder. "James, you've got to wake up."

Nothing.

Even before her hand went to touch him she knew that it was a bad idea. She just didn't calculate the amount of the damage.

As soon as her slender hand touched his shoulder, James' metal arm flew to Jamie's throat and in a second after a lightning-ly fast twist both of them were on the floor with James on top. His eyes were dark and his weapon arm unclenching.

Jamie grabbed the metal with both her hands but to no result. Her strength was nothing compared to his.

"J...Ja..." She couldn't breath out a single word, not even his name.

In the dark of the room in the middle of the night his eyes were two dark pools of abyss. He was starring at her but his eyes were void.

Clutching James' hand in a hope that he'd let go Jamie felt the consciousness leaving her. In a moment before she thought she was a goner she was suddenly thrown into a hurricane of blurriness. It was extremely hard to put two and two together, like never before. Images kept flying around and Jamie didn't just see them around her...she felt them. Emotions...it felt like emotions. But how was it possible?

And then there was a dark rock or a wall...she couldn't tell. Jamie was so confused and only God knows why she just said, loud and clear:

"You gotta let go." A single tear rolled down her cheek. "James.. You've got to let me go."

As fast as the blurriness engulfed her Jamie was junked into reality.

And reality was of her rolling to her stomach, grabbing her throat in an agonistical fit of coughing. She could swear that she could probably cough her lungs out.

"Miss Loeb? Is everything alright? I detected the drastic change in your vitals. Do you need me to alert Master Stark or Dr. Banner?" Jarvis enquired.

"No.." She barked urgently, a simple word coming out raspy. "No."

As the coughing ceased (her throat was still burning like she put it on a sizzling grill and then pushed it back into her mouth though) Jamie could turn around to assess the situation.

When the circles in front of her eyes reduced and small lights turned into darkness again, Jamie turned around still plastered on the floor with only her right hand to hold her weight. It was shaking.

She spotted him on the floor on his knees. Head down, staring at his hands.

"James?.." Her hoarse voice cut through the silence of the room.

He didn't move. Or say anything. His fists were doing a rhythmical dance of clenching and unclenching.

James felt like he was in hell. Why was she there at such ungodly hour?! He didn't understand how it all happened. He remembered waking up after midnight because of another nightmare and going out of the bedroom and then probably drifting off on the sofa. And then there was no line between the nightmare and reality, between him and the Winter Soldier. She was a threat in the eyes of the Winter Soldier. The woman that promised to help, that was with him every day for the last month... She was on the floor and he almost killed her. He would if... if what? He heard her...as if she was in his head. With her calm reassuring voice she told him to let go and he had no choice but to do it.

"James?" Her harsh whisper was far away and it made him ashamed more than ever. Why wasn't she running away from him? From this place? Why was she willingly staying in a cage with a monster?

Jamie crawled closer very slowly. She stopped a few inches from him and mirrored his position. Her hands slightly shaking came to rest on her knees.

"James, can you hear me?" She tried to sound as soft as possible but her windpipes were damaged and the words came out raspy.

He nodded, though in his head her actions were surreal.

"James, look at me."

He was still fixated on his hands.

She was scared, God knows she was...but she knew that if she ran away everything they had, that she gained from him by bits and pieces would be shattered.

So she carefully eased her still slightly trembling hands on his, making them automatically stop the movements. James fisted his hands.

"Look at me, James."

This time he did. And his stare was a void again. But of another kind: desperation and guilt.

"It's ok." She promised, looking him in the eyes. "I'm here and I'm ok..."

"Why are you still here?" His voice dead with no emotion.

"I promised to help. And I'm not backing down." Jamie answered honestly. "Tell me you're not about to either."

There it was. She felt the emotional distance between them shift as he released the tension in his fists and they went flying down as her own hands let his go.

"I..." he stated and at the moment Jamie couldn't remember a man more lost than him.

"I know." She whispered as he bended his head down very low. "I know. Come on, let's get you back to the couch."

But he just shook his head "no" and put it in his hands. She understood him. He's just done an awful thing: physically damaged her and mentally himself. Furniture was for humans and he didn't feel like one at the moment.

So she shifted and placed her back to the wall, stretching her legs. Then she lightly pulled his shriveled form to her body so that his head came to rest on her lap. He looked up at her face searching the answer in the forming bruises from his fingers on her neck. He couldn't find one.

"I'm with you and I'm not gonna let those nightmares back in tonight. Just close your eyes."

But the nightmares were the last thing he was afraid of at the moment.

One of her hands started caressing his hair (automatically, most likely) and the other one came to rest on his chest. Not long after James felt himself drifting off in a dreamless sleep.

When Jamie was sure he was out she swallowed a little then cleared her throat:

"Jarvis?"

"Yes, miss Loeb?" The A.I. answered as quietly.

"Erase the footage of what happened here."

"But Dr..."

"Erase it, Jarvis. I'm asking it for Tony's sake as well as all others."

She suddenly felt extremely exhausted and tired and couldn't move a limb. She didn't hear the A.I. confirming the deleting of the video. The darkness took over and her thoughts were dissolved in the stillness of the room. The only sound she heard (felt...) was the beating heart under her palm. The heart of the man who's almost took her life.

-/-

Hey, guys!

I hope you're enjoying the show. I really need your feedback: was it too early? Or not? How did it feel to you? So , don't leave me hanging and tell me what you think!

xoxo

Roadway Fox