CHAPTER 11

Apologies for the long delay. I had actually written most of this chapter several weeks ago, and then my computer crashed and I lost everything. I have finally gotten most things back, though I had to start this chapter again from the beginning. I think it's better for it though. Thanks to all readers for your comments and support~

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It took several long minutes for the guilt to flood him. After she'd left, he'd struggled first with shock, then fear at the realization that Thanos might be drawing closer. Whether he wanted it or not, she might find out the truth he'd been trying so hard to hide.

Then he remembered her weakness, her expression. When she'd first come to him, she'd said she'd been looking for peace and quiet. This time, she had looked so weary. She'd been in need of company, of comfort, and instead they had argued and he'd pushed her away. He'd had no other options. Yet he couldn't wipe her defeated expression from his mind.

Perhaps this was what he needed. To distance himself from everything and everyone until he met his inevitable end.

Refocusing on the pattern of lights on the concrete across from him, he clenched his hands into fists.

It would seem the tiny flicker of hope she'd ignited inside of him refused to extinguish.

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Darcy took another deep breath as she threw herself at Lars once again. And no, not the fun kind of throwing herself at him that involved a margarita, less clothing and some fluffy pillows. They'd been working for two hours now on throwing punches, something that should have been straightforward but that evidently she couldn't competently manage in the slightest.

Every time he came up to her and corrected her stance, pulled her thumb out from her fist or redirected her aim. Always with a pleasant smile on his face, trying to encourage her.

It didn't help with the frustration that was currently building up.

She tried to envision Loki standing in front of her. It fanned the flames of the anger he'd awoken inside of her, but when she tried to think of herself actually hitting him, she couldn't do it.

She'd never get close enough to him to do it. That aura of power that never left him would never let her near.

Yet that didn't stop her wanting to slap him. She was hot-headed in general, that was no secret. She'd had more than one over-the-top break up that had involved her throwing her ex's belongings out the 3rd story window. Still, she liked to think she was smart. She didn't date "fixers", or men who needed someone to take care of them, and she'd avoided emotionally unavailable men like the plague.

Her father had taught her enough about how to spot that sort of man a mile away, which was about as close as she normally got to them.

So what the hell was she doing with Loki?

He'd declared on multiple occasions that he didn't want to open up to her, he didn't want her help. And yet she still pushed, she still visited him. She clung to every scrap of information he shared, because it was rare.

Was this merely another attempt to puzzle him out in the hopes that it would help her understand her own father?

She was a fool to keep going back and seeing him. Yet there was no denying that over the course of her visits, she'd started becoming more comfortable around him. Occasionally peaceful even. She could see him trying to puzzle her out, but he left her in silence and tried not to pry. When she spoke, he paid attention to every word, and he never forgot anything.

That was not the mark of a closed-off man like her father. If he truly didn't care, then why had he asked her to come back?

Sometimes he'd seemed so lonely, though she knew he'd never want to admit it. Still, she sensed it.

And related or no, she was willing to bet the same core of devotion that was at the heart of Thor was also somewhere within Loki. The few times he'd let his guard down, she'd seen he was a veritable flood of emotion. More than she'd ever expected, and she could scarcely understand how he kept it all wrapped up so well.

Not even Thor suspected what he'd buried so deeply inside himself. But she was starting to figure him out.

Which was bad. It only made her want to spend more time with him, but half the time she left more frustrated than when she'd arrived. If she came on one of his bad days, she'd end up in a funk for the rest of the day.

She needed answers, and he was steadfastly determined not to give them to her. It was time to take a step back.

"Better, see? Didn't that feel easier?"

Darcy grumbled an assent as Lars stepped back and took a sip of water. "I think we can call it a day, but make sure to stretch your muscles tonight, and we'll pick this up tomorrow." Lars bid her goodbye with a smile. Darcy thanked him before downing her own bottle of water and heading back up to her room.

She was exhausted, both mentally and emotionally, and for once was grateful for the proximity of her room. She didn't feel like driving the half hour it normally took back to her place. It felt nice to just go upstairs and crash.

Still, she wasn't warming up to the place that much.

Looking forward to a quiet snack and an early night, she was momentarily dismayed to find Thor and Jane had taken over her tiny kitchen. Something smelled delicious, but she wasn't sure she had the energy for company. That, and Jane had a way of sniffing out her problems which she really wasn't ready to talk about quite yet.

"Miss Lewis, how was your training?"

"Same as ever." Jane gave her a sympathetic smile as she turned to the oven and pulled out a tray, spatula in hand.

"Don't be too hard on yourself, it took me some getting used to as well but you'll get the hang of it eventually."

"You were a natural." Thor's indulgent smile brought a flush to Jane's cheeks. She leveled a sharp glance at Darcy. "Don't listen to him, he's just being nice."

"No, I—" Thor looked startled at the accusation that he'd been lying before he recognized the sarcasm in her voice. He'd started to pick up on their way of talking, which was no easy feat. She gave him a small hug before serving out the lasagna she'd made.

Stunned, Darcy studied her friend carefully. "Is there something I should know?"

Jane brushed off her comment with a shrug, handing out plates as everyone sat down around the tiny island in Darcy's kitchen. Darcy's eyes followed Jane's every move until finally she turned back to look at her.

Darcy raised her eyebrows in question.

"Why can't I just make my friend a nice meal sometimes?"

Now, that really started worrying Darcy.

"Okay, who are you and what have you done with Jane?"

"Hey, I'm not that bad."

"Of course you're not. But you don't take time out of your hectic day to cook a full dish of lasagna, from scratch."

Jane shrugged sheepishly as Thor looked worriedly at her.

"I figured you'd been having a rough week and needed something like this."

"And…?"

"And nothing."

"Jane."

She huffed uncharacteristically before serving out the food. "Okay fine. I talked to Fury today about going out into the desert and getting some measurements. He approved it and we're all set to leave tomorrow for a couple of days, but you can't come with."

"What?" Darcy was too stunned to touch the delicious meal in front of her. "But I'm your assistant. What am I supposed to do if I don't come with you?"

Jane frowned, and it made Darcy feel the tiniest bit better to see that Jane was not happy with the decision. Still, she didn't understand. It made no sense.

"Fury wouldn't exactly elaborate. He said he'd send as many assistants as I needed, but he thought you should keep training and stay here."

Something smelled fishy about all of this.

"But I don't do anything else. There's no point in me being here if you aren't here."

"He said he didn't feel comfortable having you leave."

"What? Because of the robbery thing? He can't possibly be making this into that big of a deal."

"Miss Lewis, we all want to ensure your safety. You should take the opportunity to rest. I am sure Jane will have plenty of work to do with you when she comes back."

"Then what about Jane's safety?"

"I will go with her." His shoulders pulled back as he pulled Jane to his side. "Nothing will happen to her."

Jane deposited a soft kiss on his cheek before turning back to Darcy. "I threatened to not get any work done without you. He said all I needed to do was gather whatever data I need, and I would have to come back here and load it all up into the system anyways. When I get back we can do that together."

"This is ridiculous."

"Agreed." Jane took another bite of her dish, reminding Darcy of the meal in front of her. Reluctantly, she took a bite. She practically purred at the deliciousness of it. It was almost good enough to forget she was being abandoned here while Jane went off to work. Almost.

"You need to cook more often."

"I agree." Thor, who normally had a voracious appetite, settled with two reasonably-sized servings, leaving plenty of pasta left over. Which was most likely part of Jane's devious plan to smooth over the news. Now Darcy would at least have some food for the next couple days.

"Fury said something about how you don't have clearance to leave yet. Nothing I could say would persuade him. I'm so sorry Darcy."

Darcy shrugged, feeling slightly hurt. Of course they took security seriously, but it wasn't as though she had a lot of skills. She'd come in as Jane's assistant, and that was what she did. Aside from that, she was basically useless to SHIELD.

Basically useless to anyone.

Before continuing down that depressing train of thought, she turned back to the food and let Jane and Thor spoil her with a decadent tiramisu dessert. They stayed, relaxed and laughed, until they'd almost begun to feel like a family.

The two of them made their way out of the apartment sometime after midnight.

"I promise I'll be back as quick as I can," Jane offered a hug. They were more than coworkers; they'd been friends for so long that the idea of her working without Darcy was just weird. "They'll keep you busy and you won't even know I'm gone."

"Let's hope."

With a final hug from them both, they left her alone in her apartment. Darcy suddenly remembered how tired she was.

The irritation was still chafing at her from Jane's news. Probably another reason the two of them had stayed so long, to help her cool off before she stormed up to Nick Fury and gave him a piece of her mind.

As it was, it would have to wait 'til tomorrow. She was too exhausted to storm over to his office, not to mention she had no idea where to find him. He was all over the place at all hours. Probably wasn't even on the base at all.

She'd sleep it off, and try to rail at him tomorrow. Decided, she tucked herself into bed. She'd figured the worry and frustration would keep her awake, but all too easily she slipped into sleep.

Straight into darkness.

The moment her head hit the pillow she was out; it had been that way since her concussion. Yet she'd been having the strangest dreams.

Her mind felt heavy, as though she was wading through a thick fog. When it cleared, she was greeted with the same scene from the night before: Loki, bound and chained to the Earth in front of her.

There was no one else around. She couldn't see anything but dry dirt, spanning for miles out into the darkness. But Loki didn't appear able to see her.

Sometimes he cried out in pain, sometimes in rage. As she approached, slowly, cautiously, she couldn't shake the feeling that someone was watching her. She glanced back and forth but couldn't see anything. She heard nothing but the sound of Loki's rasping breaths as he folded over himself.

Seeing him so weak terrified her. He was such a wall of steel that she couldn't even contemplate what would bring him to this. Perhaps his threats and dark words of hopelessness weren't merely pessimism. Maybe he'd been trying to warn her of something like this.

Except, what was this? Nothing but a dream, she reminded herself.

"Loki."

She said his name carefully as she walked up to him, the crumbling, rough ground rubbing her bare feet.

He didn't react, so she said it again, louder this time. He flinched, his head flying up as those sharp green eyes met hers.

There was fear in those eyes, and a warning.

"Darcy!"

She'd never heard him say her name like that, with concern and fear for her in his tone. He was looking over her shoulder, and the same eerie feeling of being watched grew stronger.

Wanting nothing more than to leave, she forced herself to move forward and tried tugging on Loki's chains, fighting to free them from the ground that bound them.

"Darcy, leave. Now."

She couldn't just leave him like this, when she had no idea what was coming. She ignored him and kept tugging, for all the good it did. He remained firmly locked in the dirt, and she was breathing hard from her efforts and the adrenaline racing through her.

A sudden, cold shock traveled up through her body from the ground. She stopped, immobile. His eyes returned to her, and the look there stopped her heart cold. "No…"

The words were pulled from him as though he'd been forced to face a torture he'd dreaded. The world turned darker, and before she could get herself to move, she felt a cold presence at her back. "No!"

Loki was trying to warn whatever it was away, but it would not move. She felt it come so close behind her it sent a shiver up her spine. All of a sudden, the entire world turned dark, and lit up with her scream.

Shrieking, she started, sitting up and fighting off the chill that had settled into her bones.

It took her several seconds to realize she'd sat up in her bed, sweaty sheets clinging to her as she shivered. The room was dark, but not as dark as her dreams. She could see the faint outline of her bedside table, and the door to her bathroom.

There was nothing to be afraid of. It was nothing but a dream.

Glancing at her phone to find it was 4 in the morning, she laid back down with a sigh. She still couldn't stop the shivers that came and went.

Maybe she was having abandonment issues, or being around Loki for too long was doing something to her.

Whatever it was, she didn't like it.

Forcing her eyes shut, she tried and failed to get back to sleep. Her mind was too frightened or returning to her nightmare, and she found herself lying awake staring at the shadows on her ceiling.

Maybe this was some kind of sign that she needed to stay away from Loki. Or maybe he was in trouble. Or maybe it was all random nothingness from a creepy dream that didn't mean anything.

Pushing the thoughts away, she watched her fatigue battle with her fear until finally she settled back to sleep, this time a blissfully dream-free rest.