The walk of shame is defined by a subject crawling to a safety of a private place alone under the watchful eyes of strangers, feeling [subject] extremely awkward and embarrassed. That's how Jamie remembered the Wikipedia determining the term.

She wasn't exactly ashamed or embarrassed...but it still felt like she was doing the one and only walk of shame.

It was about 5:30 in the morning. She left James on the floor where they've spent the night. Jamie felt like a squeezed lemon. She fell in and out of sleep all through the rest of the night she's spent on James' floor. Her throat was aching and she was pretty sure it looked about the same that it felt. The only wish she had at the moment: reach the guest room before being noticed.

There was no such luck.

As the elevator doors opened the young doctor was welcomed by a surprised face of none other than Steve Rogers himself.

"Captain." Jamie tried to sound normal but failed miserably, her insides going dry and sending her in a fit of coughing as soon as she entered and the doors closed behind her.

"You ok, miss Loeb?" His voice concerned and his eyes trained on the bruises of her neck.

It was stupid to pretend otherwise so she just answered after a sigh:

"I...am. It was an unfortunate episode. My fault mostly and I have it under control right now."

Silence followed.

"You mean...did..." The grimace on his youthful face was almost enough for Jamie to regret what she's said. "Bucky did this?"

"No...no, the Winter Soldier did this. He was having a nightmare and I was stupid enough to try and wake him up..."

But Steve was hardly listening, his eyes trained on purple marks on her neck.

"Steve!" It was the first time she called him by his first name, it did snap him out of the state. "It's going to be hard for you to understand but I need you to listen and to trust me the way you trusted me with your friend."

Captain looked at her, ears sharp but still horrified with the sight.

"I made a mistake. It's one of those mistakes that I had to make in the process of treatment someone who has a very different kind of condition from what the traditional science knows. So whatever you think of doing right now, don't. Leave it all to me. I'm not backing down. And I'm not making another mistake like this either."

She was dead serious. Steve had to give her this. He was still swimming in uncertainty rivers when he finally cleared his throat and said:

"I don't like this but I'm going to leave it...for now. Though I don't think Stark will let it go that easily."

"Leave Tony to me." Jamie smiled a little and rubbed one of the sore spots on her neck.

"You have to get some sleep.`' Steve commented when the elevator beeped his floor. From Steve it was an equivalent of "You look like crap". "And maybe to see a doctor..."

"Will do, Captain." The young doctor mock saluted. "If you do something in return..."

-WS-

It was odd...and unexpected. Especially given what happened that night. Waking up on the floor and remembering what he's done, James' first instinct was to be disgusted with himself but he couldn't. He just couldn't. The Winter Soldier, his counter part, the part that was created and sewed to him without his consent, did it. He had no idea why but the notion was imprinted in his mind and he couldn't let himself even think otherwise.

It's like the mantra that Jamie kept whispering (because it was too painful for her to talk louder) worked. He felt sorry but not at fault. When it all happened he was ready to chop the metal hand but in the morning...as if he was brain-washed...but he knew for a fact that he wasn't.

The digital clock showed a little after noon. Usually Jamie would have been with him. James didn't blame her, he perceived that. Even though the night before she was very decisive about not leaving him and not backing down, he really could see why she changed her mind.

When Steve who hasn't shown up for more than a month entered, James couldn't hide his disappointment:

"Wow," Steve whistled. "Try to hide your joy a bit there!"

"Sorry." Grunted the other soldier. "I'm surprised to see you."

"Yeah, I had two missions and a lot of tracking to do. Wasn't even near New York." Captain America came to stand near the window.

James just nodded not asking for details, he knew quiet well that Steve wouldn't and couldn't give him any.

"Wanna hit the gym and tell me the stuff you remembered?" The blonde's face lit up with a mischievous smile.

"How do you know I remembered anything?"

"I met Jamie on my way up in the morning. Oh and she asked to tell you that she'll come see you in the evening. And we could spend time before then."

James's face changed. And Steve could swear that the corner of his lips twitched up ever so slightly. His friend stood up from the couch and turned to the elevator:

"Gym sounds good...Mr. Banana Milkshake."

Steve followed smiling. Either deciding to delay the sore subject.

-WS-

It was hard. She was standing in front of the door of the guest-room and she was frozen, unmoving for a better part of the last ten minutes. She told Steve she was ok, previously she'd told Bruce and Tony that "this" all was fine. But the truth was: she was not ok and that was not a fine situation.

She was taking blind steps with James and she had found out pretty fast that the memory drug she's created cannot be tested on him. His situation was unique to say the least, and he couldn't even be her test subject.

But Jamie has agreed to treat him and it didn't matter anymore.

She felt insecure: there wasn't too much progress in the case, if any, and she'd expect more by the time; her throat was hurting from the Winter Soldier trying to choke the life out of her, she had almost stopped seeing other patients, lied to her employer and friend and the worst thing: she was doubting herself.

Jamie wanted to help James badly. She really did. But it's been a month and all she got was a sore neck and his unchanging crapy mood.

And her fish back home probably died all alone.

-WS-

When she reached his floor there seemed to be no one in the earshot. Then Jamie heard the water running.

Looking around there was no indication whatsoever of anything that's happened last night.

He entered the room a little later, putting the white wifebeater on. She was there, more pale than usual. She was standing near the window, not acknowledging him, deep in thought.

"Doc?" He called so she would know she wasn't alone anymore.

"Hey." Jamie turned around: her voice still rough, her neck hidden by a turtleneck. "How was your day with Steve?"

He didn't answer but stepped closer. Something's changed. In him. She was there, she came back. As she promised. And he was still there: so she's probably found some way to hide what's happened from Stark. Cause that man was just looking for a reason to get reed of him. Choking Jamie was much more than enough.

"You came."

There was a silence as they were looking at each other. Then she said:

"I doubted..."

His eyes dulled momentally and before he could fix the slip she went on:

"Not because of what happened yesterday...but because for a moment I felt very hopeless. Like everything I try to accomplish, all the help that I try to give you...like it doesn't work at all...honestly I have no idea if there is a point. You are going to have to tell me yourself. You have to tell me if this is taking you somewhere..."

She slipped down on the floor carefully. He followed and took a place in front of her, slightly closer to when they were standing.

Jamie was looking straight at him, her eyes very big and blue. James stayed silent but inside there was a small war: he was not good with words. Not anymore. But he knew one thing: the Doc made him feel less lost. Yeah, he was locked in the Tower, she and Steve were the only people he communicated with but...he remembered pieces from his life before the war and truthfully he liked the way she cooked for him...

"I need you." In the end that was all he could coax.

Then he started waiting to see if that worked.

"You sure?" She wasn't mocking, it was more a question to make sure that neither of them were backing down, that time for real.

"Positive."

"Good."

-\-

What do yo'll think? I know it's dragging a little bit but I need to establish relationship between the characters before going somewhere. Anyway, drop me a line.

xo, RoadwayFox