If I owned Naruto, Sasuke would not be one step away from cutting himself.
Minato groaned as he regained consciousness, his head hurt worse than it did after listening to Kushina's rant about the Miracle(capital M) that was ramen. All night. Something that has happened too many times for his comfort and/or sanity.
The last thing he remembered was Jiraiya saying something about his mother….and then proceeding to bring out his female clone. Nah, that part must have been part of his dream. Theres no way anyone could look that much like him, and there was nobody in the Elemental Nations able or willing to do human experimentation.
(In a hidden lab on the outskirts of Konoha, Orochimaru the Snake Sennin sneezed. He glanced around suspiciously for a moment before shrugging and resuming his work. If he could only isolate this one cell, he could begin the process of gifting the Shodai's bloodline onto this helpless child.
"AAAHHHHHH!"
Orochimaru sighed. Now if only the blasted child would stop screaming in pain, they would get somewhere.)
Yeah, as if anyone was that crazy! Minato pushed himself up, cracking his stiff neck. He was on the couch in the Hokage office. Nobody really knew why there was a couch in the office, it just was. Little did they know it wa because their Hokage was opposed to reading his porn in his desk chair.
Doing a quick sweep of the room, Minato catalogued everything as perfectly normal. Sandaime looking amused in that annoying grandfather way, hands folded in front of his face to hide his smile? Perfectly normal, usually used on fresh genins with delusions of rescuing princesses and whatnot. Tsunade smirking at him, a little on the mean side? Also normal, she could be a total bitch and everyone knew it. Jiraiya grinning his blackmail smile at him? A little less normal, but it happens, usually after Kushina pranks him. Small child blinking innocently at him from his sensei's arms? Completely- wait what the fuck?!
Minato will never admit it in a billion years, but he almost fainted again. "Wait," he blurted out. "The clone thing wasn't my imagination? Who the hell got a hold of my DNA?!"
(Orochimaru sneezed again, his hand jerking and dropping a bottle full of blood from his rival for the Hokage seat. Maybe he was coming down with a cold?)
Jiraiya just grinned and held the child out to him. "Minato, meet Miyuki. Miyuki, meet your big brother." Miyuki just cocked her head again, brows furrowing together in confusion.
"Is he sick?" she questioned, and Tsunade erupted into laughter.
"Why would you think that, gaki?" she managed to get out while gasping for breath.
"Well, he fell down. And he's white now. And he's not breathing. Aren't people supposed to do that?"
And indeed Minato had stopped breathing, and had paled to a milky white underneath that golden tan. Tsunade slapped him on the back and he took a great gulp of air. "Thanks for that," he wheezed, attempting to get air into his crushed lungs, courtesy of her super strength. Tsunade just smirked. Bitch.
"Uh, yeah," Minato finally managed to say somewhat normally. "I'm fine, kid." He turned a serious gaze on Jiraiya. "Are you sure?"
"Can you look at her and tell me you're not related?" Minato just glared at his sensei. He knew full well that wasn't possible.
He grumbled. "I still want a blood test."
Jiraiya rolled his eyes. They all knew full well there was no need for a blood test. But then again, Kami knows the council will try to put her into CRA for the Hyoton, but if there's documented evidence that she's related to a Hokage candidate(seriously, they should just name him Yondaime already, face the facts), then they would have a much harder time of it. So he conceded to the point of having one done.
What followed was the most awkward silence any of them had ever witnessed or participated in. Nobody had any idea of how to proceed from here. The kid was Minto's sister. Did he hug her? Talk to her? Take her out for lunch? He had no idea! The rest decided that it was none of their business how the older blonde interacted with his doppelganger, and steeled themselves to sit silently through the awkward atmosphere.
Thankfully, the three-year-old save any of them from making a decision by speaking up. "It's hot in here." She pouted, and Tsunade had to damn near dislocate her own thumb to keep from going over there to cuddle the girl. Of course, that lasted about three seconds, until the shock set in. Why? The room was getting colder, and a thin sheet of ice was covering the windows and floor.
Miyuki sighed in content, not noticing the flabbergasted looks on the adults faces."that's better."
"Uh…" Minato was at a loss for words. This tiny girl, who was evidently his sister, had just covered the entire room in frost. Obviously she was strong, and had enormous chakra reserves if she was able to control the bloodline of her practically extinct clan to this extent at such an early age. Danzo would have a field day with her.
Danzo…. Minato started to unconsciously leak vast amount of killing intent into the air. Like hell that bandage fucker was going to lay a hand on his precious baby sister! (How he went from skeptical of their relation to insanely protective in three minutes flat no one shall ever know. Standing theory being that he spends too much time round Uzumaki Kushina, and some of her rather...odd thought processes had rubbed off on him.)
ANBU appeared in the room nanoseconds after Minato started to broadcast his displeasure. "Hokage….sama?" Ryo, commander of the ANBU forces, questioned, staring confused at the squirming toddler in Jiraiya's arms.
"Ryo, great timing," Hiruzen comments lightly, as if a certain blonde man in the room was not currently convincing nearby civilians that they were under attack. "I need you to gather the council for me. Minato calm down! That will be all, ANBU. Dismissed."
"Would one of you inform my two uninjured genin that I need them?" Minato asked, KI fading from the air(the panicking civilians breathed a sigh of relief, the brave shinobi had fought off the invaders). "Tell them I'll meet them in Obito-kun's hospital room."
With that, Minato stormed out of the room, pulling a grinning Jiraiya along behind him, followed by a laughing Tsunade. The ANBU hesitated for a moment before leaving as well. The elderly Sarutobi sighed. "You're dismissed, Minato. You too Jiraiya, Tsunade," he muttered to himself in the now empty room. "Not like you're in the presence of the Hokage or anything. No, just leave whenever you want." He glared hatefully at his desk full of papers. Without people in his office, he now had no excuse not to do them. "I shall be rid of you yet, demons," he vowed.
"What do you think sensei wants, Kakashi?" Rin asked her masked teammate. Kakashi just shrugged. He may have been better since their botched mission, where Obito almost died, but he was still a bit(a lot) antisocial. "You could at least answer verbally, Kakashi," she complained under her breath. Her only answer as a put-upon sigh.
Rin took a steadying breath to keep from ripping out her hair, followed by Kakashi's, ending with taking off his mask and tossing it in a mud puddle. Not that it would do much good, he always wore at least four layered on top of each other because he's paranoid, but it would make her feel better.
She couldn't believe she used to like him. She loved the guy to death, but it was more as the older brother she never had and constantly wants to brutally murder than future husband material.
Walking into Obito's room, they noticed a distinct lack of their sensei. "Hey guys," Obito piped up from the bed, hooked up to way too many machined for anyones liking. "What are you doing here?"
"Sensei called a meeting," Kakashi finally spoke, Rin was convinced he had gone temporarily mute. "Since you are not allowed out of bed, we had to come to you." Kakashi had a gift of making facts sound totally derogatory and mean, used more on Obito than the rest of the village combined.
Before a fight could break out(again) Minato strolled into the room. Well not so much strolled as stomped angrily, the Toad Sennin's ear firmly between his fingers, Konoha's top medic trailing behind them in hysterics.
"What's going on, sensei?" Rin asked after a tense moment.
"Danzo is a creepy asshole and shall not be allowed within three miles of Miyuki." Minato nodded decisively, as if that made any sense at all to his genin.
"Who's Miyuki?" Rin seemed to be doing all the talking today.
A little voice interrupts before Minato could answer. "That's my name!" The three genin looked around the room, but couldn't find the origin of the voice. Minato snorted and pointed to Jiraiya. Or rather, the child in Jiraiya's arms.
Kakashi, Rin and Obito nearly pulled a Minato by fainting in shock. The hell?
"Sensei, why is there a tiny clone of you?!" Obito shouts. Everyone always assumes that…
"That is actually my sister. Apparently my mother is still alive and has a habit of leaving children at various orphanages."
"Sooo….there's more little Namikaze kids running around the Elemental Nations?" Rin hesitantly asked. Minato froze, that hadn't even occurred to him! He turned baleful eyes at Jiraiya. The white-haired man just sighed and agreed, before the puppy eyes break out and he loses what meager scraps of dignity he's managed to retain. Between Minato and Tsunade, he has been thoroughly emasculated.
"Ignoring that," Rin hedged, rather creeped out by the look on her pretty-boy sensei's face, "what exactly is this meeting about?"
"We need to keep Danzo away from my sister. Actually, Danzo has Root, he'll send one of them." Team Seven watched in horrified silence as their sensei went into scheming mode. "I'll need one of you to infiltrate their ranks. Kakashi, you already have the proper lack of emotions, so that'll be you."
Minato soldiered on, staunchly ignoring the indignant protests from his genin squad. "Rin, Obito, you two will be with me. Danzo is a sneaky old bastard so killing him will be hard-"
"Hold up!" Rin slapped a hand over the blonde's mouth. "You expect us - genin - to assassinate Danzo - a council member with the entire civilian council in his pocket, the political clout that comes with that, and a personal army of emotionless ANBU that will follow his every demand?"
"Glad you understand." Rin just stared at him with her mouth hanging open, eyes bulging out of their sockets.
"ARE YOU FUCKING INSANE, SENSEI!?" She screeched. "NEED I REMIND YOU THAT OBITO CAN'T EVEN WALK AT THE MOMENT?"
"Jeez, Rin-chan," Minato whined. "There is no need to shout."
"NO NEED-" Rin abruptly cut herself off. She turned on her heel and walked towards the wall, proceeding to bang her head against it repeatedly. The rest of the room just watched in silence.
Miyuki wasn't squirmed until Jiraiya was forced to put her down, lest he drop her, and ran as fast as her tiny little legs could go over to Rin. She stopped at her side, and tugged on her pant leg. Rin turned to her, forehead red and bleeding from the force of her head impacting the cement wall.
"Ow," Miyuki murmured. She pulled on Rin's hand until she knelt on the floor, then put her hand on the older girl's forehead. When Miyuki pulled her hand away, left behind was a thin sheet of ice, freezing Rin's forehead. Miyuki looked pleased with herself, and no one had the heart to tell her that that would probably make it worse.
"Thank you," Rin murmured, trying to ignore the uncomfortable cold feeling on her head.
Miyuki's smile was blinding. "You're welcome."
Rin couldn't tear her eyes away. She could swear that light was shining behind the tiny girl, a halo shining above her hair. Not to mention the sparkles and...were those flowers?
"Sensei," Rin said fiercely, diamond-hard eyes swinging up to the elder Namikaze. "What's the plan to get rid of Danzo?" Her teammates stared at her in shock.
It would seem that Rin has been converted.
Done and now I can watch ten hours of Bleach without feeling guilty that I keep forgetting to post this chapter.