Chapter 14

Darcy woke from the best sleep of her life with a happy sigh. It wasn't until she tried to sit up that all the bruises and aches from sleeping on the concrete floor made themselves known. She wasn't sure why she hadn't had the nightmare again, but she was too grateful for the reprieve to worry about it. Glancing around at her unfamiliar surroundings, she turned to look down and spotted Loki's prison.

Her heart gave an odd flutter at the sight that greeted her. Loki was actually asleep, stretched out on the padded floor with a completely relaxed expression on his face. He looked so unguarded curled up on his side with one arm outstretched. Completely unlike the formidable god she always pictured in her head. His dark hair fell in messy waves over his face, and he looked peaceful. It was so foreign. And so sweet.

In that moment, she forgot who he was and what he'd done. And without his face twisted into a sneer or a dark frown, he was stunning. Masculine and beautiful all in one.

He was breathtaking.

Shaking off the odd thoughts running through her head and the inappropriate feelings she seemed to be having, she turned her thoughts to his words of the night before. She looked at her forearm; the burn was still there, though it had faded ever so slightly from when she'd last looked at it.

It was time to be practical. Except how was she expecting to fight some powerful demon or monster that could sneak into her dreams and hurt her? Or one that tortured a man as powerful as Loki?

Her thoughts were cut short by a high-pitched ringing. Flinching, she struggled to pull her phone from her pocket and answer it before it woke Loki up. It was Jane. Covering her mouth with her hand to be as quiet as possible, she greeted her friend.

"How's everything going?"

The line was crackling; it sounded as though she was driving somewhere, background noise full of breaks and cracks.

"It's going pretty well. Actually we got some good readings yesterday, but not great. I think if we head a little further out into the desert, our results should be even more accurate. Fury gave me the OK to stay here a couple more days."

"Hmm." Darcy's thoughts still remained fixated on her dream. She could barely pay attention to Jane.

"Is something wrong? Are you OK? You're not mad at me for staying out here are you? I promise we'll be back soon and—"

"—No. It's fine. Take the time you need. When you get back we'll get back to work together."

"Great." Jane's voice was so full of happiness she could hear the smile she had to be sporting. Things were going well for her. "Anything else going on with you?"

It was on the tip of her tongue to explain the situation, but somehow she couldn't get the words out. Besides, it didn't seem right to worry Jane while she was working, before Darcy even knew for sure what was going on. "Everything's great. Just missing you."

"I miss you too. We'll be back in a couple days OK? Sorry I've gotta run. We're heading out."

"No worries. Take care."

The line disconnected. Silence returned to the echoing room, but not for long.

"You didn't tell her."

Darcy nearly jumped out of her skin. Loki was awake, looking up at her with an unexpected expression. He looked surprised, and relieved. He was also fresh from sleep, clothes mussed and hair disheveled, sitting with an elbow resting on his knee. Completely casual. Darcy had to fight to shoo away the butterflies that had suddenly taken up residence in her stomach. He was the last person she should ever be attracted to.

"No. I promised you I wouldn't. As long as you help me."

"Thank you."

She shrugged. Too many emotions and thoughts were running through her head at once, and she didn't know how to sort through them all. He was being nice, and it was throwing her off. She didn't know how to react.

"So where do we start?"

She regretted the question when the relaxed air fell away from him and he was back to the stoic, calculated expression she was familiar with. Back to the powerful god who seemed so far away from her. So far out of her reach.

Since when had she wanted to reach him?

"In your dream, you felt a presence."

"Yes." She hadn't seen a figure or a face, but she'd felt ice cold and terrified. "It was dark…"

"He won't appear to you, so you won't know who he is."

"He?"

"The less you know the better."

Darcy huffed in frustration. "That makes no sense."

Loki frowned, clearly frustrated at having to explain. Darcy suppressed a grin. After all this time getting used to his moods, she was finding his annoyed face slightly… cute. He didn't look so all-powerful when he was sighing or frowning at whatever ramblings she spouted.

"He will sort through your thoughts and find every weakness you have to use it against you. He holds a great deal of power; simply saying his name will draw his attention."

"What the hell is he? Some kind of… ultra god?"

"Worse." Darcy swallowed. She didn't want to imagine what could be worse.

"So avoid using his name. Which is great since I don't know it anyways. Got it. Let's settle for calling him Creepy Shadow." She moved her blanket up to the bench to get more comfortable. "That still doesn't explain how he got to me in my dreams. Can you do something like that?"

"No." The topic was starting to freak her out again, so this time when her eyes wandered around the room back down to his face, she let them. Better that than thinking of the thousands of ways she could possibly die from this unknown creep.

"Even my magic at full strength has its limits. I can steal into the dreams of someone I am connected to, someone I know well. But only if they are nearby. And only if they let me. If they close their mind to me, it is impossible. I am not sure how he was able to travel so far into your mind, but if you close it you will make it that much harder for him. So that's what you need to focus on."

"Closing my mind? How exactly do I do that?"

His face turned contemplative as he considered how best to explain. "This would be much easier if I could use my powers to show you…"

Darcy bit her lip. It was on the tip of her tongue to say he could earn his freedom; he could get his powers back in a little over a week if he managed to convince Fury. But he'd only get angry at the suggestion, so she stopped herself.

She would try whatever he suggested, and if that didn't work, she'd have no choice but to go to Fury. She hoped it wouldn't come to that.

"Whenever you feel that same presence again, you need to focus on clearing your mind, completely. Choose an image or a phrase, something meaningless, and focus on it, repeat it in your head over and over until it's the only thing on your mind."

"You mean like meditating?"

"Yes. Just like that."

"Crap. I suck at meditating."

"Then you must practice."

She nodded, trying her hardest to focus in on herself and shut off all the worries and thoughts that buzzed around in her head constantly.

/+/+/+/+/+/

After so many nights full of nightmares, Loki could hardly believe he'd had blissfully dreamless sleep. He had more energy, and he felt almost… positive at the idea of helping Darcy to keep Thanos at bay in her sleep. But he knew it was only temporary.

Keeping him from her mind was only one barrier. Sooner or later, Thanos would overcome it and when he came for them she would be directly in his path.

It had been Loki's own fault that he'd succumbed to the lord of darkness. There was no changing what was done, and no coming back from it. But Darcy was innocent and so full of life and passion she did not deserve to be his target.

And still the puzzle remained: how had Thanos found her? How had he managed to reach into her dreams? And if he could do so, then how had he not already found them? She was completely unguarded, so open with her thoughts and emotions Loki himself could practically see them all in her eyes when he looked at her. She would be an open book for any mindreader. And yet he could not sense Thanos anywhere near. The threat at the back of his mind had not grown any stronger.

Thanos' powers were so far beyond even Loki's considerable arsenal, yet there were still constraints. He should not be able to reach across a universe into the mind of a complete stranger. Not to mention harm her physical body from sleep.

Greater than the fear, rage, and frustration was a sense of puzzlement. A challenge. How was he doing the impossible? For the first time since the battle of New York, Loki had a problem to solve.

One that could potentially be the key to his own freedom. A chance at survival.

The tiny flicker of hope she'd ignited inside of him seemed to burn slightly hotter. It was not prudent to hope, yet he could not bring himself to snuff the flame.

Loki's powers were great, developed through a lifetime of practice and research. If something like this was possible, there was a chance, even if it was miniscule, that he could figure out some way to do the same. Or some way to block it. He could retaliate, reach back and stop or block Thanos from seeking him out, or turn the tables on him and reach into Thanos' mind to wipe him out for good.

But first, he needed his powers back.

Which meant negotiating with Fury.

What had at first seemed so pointless and ridiculous was now his only chance of saving himself from the fate that he knew waited for him. Could he do it? Could he somehow convince Fury to release him so he could battle with one of the universe's most powerful creatures? And even if he could, would that mean he would be forever tied to Fury and his foolish band of warriors? Trading one master for another?

The thought was sickening yet he was forced to contemplate it.

"I don't think I can do this. Every time I try to think of nothing, suddenly my brain comes up with hundreds of things to think about." Darcy dragged him out of his thoughts with her huff of frustration. She had a way of doing that, without ever meaning to. Her simple presence forced him to focus on her, forced him to pull away from whatever else he'd been thinking of to concentrate in the present moment.

"Do not try to think of nothing. Instead pick a harmless thought or idea. Something simple to focus on, something you can concentrate on in order to drive everything else away."

She fell quiet for several moments as she tried again. The sight and the thought of her, sitting in a fluffy blanket doing her best to find a way to fight off Thanos, was absurd and endearing all at once.

His mother was a generous and kind woman, yet with a core of strength unmatched by any others. She could more than hold her own in a fight. And the other women of his acquaintance on Asgard had been similarly powerful; most intimidating and harsh, raised as warriors from an early age. None were as soft and vibrant as Darcy was. None were as weak.

It had been revolting at first; her weaknesses only served to remind him of his own, and his mind had quickly thought of all the ways he could take advantage of those weaknesses. Yet he was beginning to take notice of her core of courage, made even more starkly obvious in contrast. She was more than aware of her shortcomings, yet she didn't let that stop her from fighting. She was stronger not despite her weaknesses, but because of them.

"Ugh, it's impossible. When I try to think of one thing, it leads to another."

"Try again. Except this time, no matter what you do, absolutely do NOT think of a green hawk."

"What?" Her brows curled up in a frown but she tried again. Several minutes later, another huff of frustration. "Now this time that was ALL I could think about."

"Exactly."

Darcy rolled her eyes. "And this is somehow what will keep 'him' out?"

"It's a start. The better you are at focusing, the harder it will be for him to look into your thoughts."

"Why would he want to do that? What does he want from me?"

"It's better if you do not know. That way your thoughts will not lead him to the answer."

Darcy actually grumbled at him as she stood up and straightened up the blanket and pillow, folding them up neatly and placing them on the bench. "Your idea of helping is really annoying."

"It is the safest thing for you."

"Well, since you won't tell me anything else, my only option is to trust you on that, isn't it?"

He fell silent at her remark. She was right. If he'd been in her shoes, threatened and harmed, he was not so sure he could have settled for the answers she'd been given. And he certainly would not have trusted so blindly. It made him want to explain, though he knew he could not.

"It is the only option. You must trust—"

"—I know, I know. It's just annoying."

She slipped the colorful little phone device out of her pocket, fingers tapping away at it before she looked down at him.

"I'd better go. I need to get changed before training again today."

"Darcy. I am sorry I cannot reveal any more."

She leveled a timid smile at him. "Me too." He could see the slight fear from the night before still haunted her eyes, but it had dimmed significantly. "As long as this doesn't happen again…" She motioned to her forearm. "I'm not really sure how I'm going to explain it to Lars."

He knew he should not offer her any assurances when the odds were so heavily weighted in Thanos' favor, but that did not seem to matter in the face of her wary blue eyes. "I will help to ensure it does not."

"Thank you."

She left and the familiar silence resumed. Somehow, though he'd only just woken up, he felt exhausted. He did not even know for sure if what he was planning was possible, and there was no way to even try or test it out until he had his powers returned to him. Which meant if he did choose to make a deal with Fury, he'd be bargaining for an uncertain future that he might not even be able to live out.

Not to mention whatever price Fury demanded of him.

Familiar rage blended with desperation. For the first time since they'd locked him in his cage, he was considering their offer. How low he'd fallen.

Yet with Darcy, he could not ignore that flicker of hope. He only hoped it would be strong enough to overcome the rest of it.

He could not let himself fall into darkness ever again. The next time, the world might not be able to survive.

/+/+/+/+/+/

Darcy was actually doing better than usual with Lars today in training. She'd landed a good solid punch, and she was working to keep her energy up as she hit the last half of their grueling session.

Throughout all of it, she'd tried to focus and meditate as much as possible. As though her life depended on it, which in a way, it actually did. She'd stumbled and narrowly missed getting hit by Lars' blows twice because of it, but that was a small price to pay.

Loki hadn't explained why she'd been hurt and he hadn't been, and that thought kept nagging at her brain. If they'd both been there in the dream, then surely his wounds should have been as real as hers. There were so many unknowns her brain was getting desperate wanting to unravel them. But thinking about it all only gave her a headache. Nothing made sense, and she was struggling fighting to suffocate any questions she wanted to ask him about the entire thing.

She disliked having to take his word for everything without understanding. But what if he was right? If whoever it was could sneak into her brain, then picking it apart should be a piece of cake. A shudder went through her at the thought.

Or it could be something else entirely, and he was simply trying to find a way to distract her while he kept the truth to himself. She wanted to believe him, but wasn't sure if she could. And it wasn't as though she had many other options.

Yet there'd been something, a feeling, when he'd spoken to her. An instinct in her gut, convincing her that he'd been honest with her. And she still couldn't believe he'd apologized about it.

So when she finished training and headed down the corridor back up to her room for a shower, she slipped past the office wing where Fury was without stopping. She would give it time, see whether it happened again and decide from there whether to go to Fury or not.

The secret weighed on her. She'd never been good at keeping secrets, and this felt like an epic-scale Avengers-esque sort of secret. Not something she was equipped to handle.

But when he'd asked her to trust him, she'd found herself wanting to try. It felt crazy, risky, and very dangerous, but she found herself wanting to. She needed him to live up to her trust, to prove that her instincts about him had been right all along.

She only hoped she wouldn't come to regret it in the long term.