A/N: Yeah, I know. I'm sorry. A special chapter was all I could manage to finish. The next chapter is only about 10% in progress. Waahh! T.T I'm such a slowpoke! :( The club I'm in is in demand of feature articles so I really can't find enough time to make a nice chapter since I still have to submit this and that and my cold just had to get worse. Well, yeah, meaning this one not THAT good. But I still do hope you like it somehow. *prays* I've been in a state of depression and just can't seem to find enough inspiration but your reviews really made me happy and kept me going thank you! :*

jdcocoagirl: thank you! heheh I'm glad you liked it :D I'll be working on that and I hope I can do it well xD

gRayLu010: hehe I know right? xD thank you for the review!

Otaku'25: awww thank you so so so much! you don't know how much you made me happy with your review! gamabarimasu! thank you again! :')

Hachibukai: aww thank you T.T hehe I'll try to update as soon as I can but that's proving to be hard as of now but still I'd like to show you my overflowing gratitude! thank you so so so so so much! :')

AniManians17: ahehehe roger! I'll try to put up more GRaLu as much as possible in the next chapter. But I assure there'll be more GraLu in the future chapters, I hope you can still support me 'til then :') Thank you so much! :D

GoldenRoseLuceTanya: aheheh xD can't be so sure about the ending I have a weird mind but I thank you so much for the review! :')

lucylover: thank you! aheheh I'm glad you liked it :')

Salamander: Natsu is? ahaha but I agree Laxus IS overprotective xD oh, Plue is such a cutie! xD Aheheh thank you! I'm really thankful to receive such kind words. You made me so happy :') I'll try to update as soon as I can whenever I get the chance to :')

Lastly, iamModoki thank youuuuuuuuuu! Ahehehe xD Thanks a lot bestie! Gambarimasu! ^_^ love lots!

So, first special chapter is about Lyon now, it's Gray! Yey? Ahehehe :) Please do forgive for not meeting up to your expectations but I'm still trying hard to do get better. I started working on this one last Father's Day but since school keeps getting in the way it took so long before I can finally upload it. Well, it's pretty much obvious with the concept. I hope it doesn't disappint you x( So, here it is and I hope you like it! ^_^

Special Chapter: Hidden Inside

Entry Number _

Grief and sorrow

Sufferings and pain

These engulfed all of me when you left us dad. But… I didn't cry rather, I didn't want to for I knew very well that it would only hurt mom more to see me cry. She's been going through a lot of pain and sufferings, much more than what I'm feeling right now. I can't add up to that. I had to act tough so I held back my tears and kept the pain to myself.

All my life I used to believe that crying only shows how weak you are. I don't wanna be weak. I wanted to be strong for Mom. That's why, I'll definitely not cry… ever… Or so, that's what I thought…

"Gray?" she called out but I didn't budge an inch. I just continued to stare at the sky to keep my tears from falling. I thought it was enough to keep her away, ignoring her that is. But I was wrong, she was persistent. "Gray, you okay?"

"Leave me alone!"

"You crying?" she asked, her voice seeming to go near by the minute.

I clenched my fists tightly and took in a deep breath to keep myself from crying. "As if!"

Next thing I knew, Lucy sat herself beside me and gave out a dim smile. "Know what? I think you should let it out. Cry, Gray."

I furrowed my brows and sat upright to give her a look. "What do you know? How could someone like you possibly understand the pain of losing a loved one—" I cut myself off, seeing her hide the pain she felt with a gentle smile. Guilt got the best of me so I unconsciously gave out an apology. "S-sorry…"

Lucy shook her head and gave me another smile. "You were just carried away, right?"

"Sorry. Really sorry, Lucy." I repeated. How can I be so stupid? She just lost her mom! Even nii-chan cried over it. Of course she'd understand my pain, but…

"You know…" Lucy began, leaning on the tree that shaded us from the prickling heat of the sun. "At first… I didn't want to cry too. I felt so weak if I were to cry so I thought hiding my tears and keeping the pain to myself was the best option but I was wrong. Just what would mama feel if she were to see me faking a smile? She won't be happy if I wasn't."

I intently listened as she continued with her words. I wanted to know badly, how she can still smile brightly despite the tragedy that befell their family not too long ago. One look at her and you could definitely tell she's fragile as glass. Only Lyon can stop her loud cries. The times I spent with her showed me how much of a crybaby she can be. Something like losing your mother is something I'm sure she wouldn't be able to take. So, how can you still smile despite everything, Lucy?

"So, I cried and cried and cried and cried it all out. I cried myself to sleep, cried 'til my heart's content. And believe me, it felt so good afterwards. It's like getting a thorn out of your heart."

I just stared at her, still lost for words.

"I've always been a crybaby." I mentally smiled. You really are. "Crying over small matters and such. People would always tell me that I shouldn't cry. It's gonna be fine. And I'd feel really happy to hear such comforting words." Lucy played with her slim fingers and put out a dim smile.

"Then it really is better not to cry. As a guy, I have my pride so—"

Lucy hushed me with a delicate finger over my lips. Blood rushed up to my face and my heart started to pound like crazy. "That was before, Gray. Right now, I think that whenever you feel like crying, do so. Don't let it build up inside. Let it all out. That would cause you less pain and sufferings. It doesn't matter if you're a guy. If you're sad, cry all you want. Crying isn't a weakness. In fact, it's a sign of how strong you actually are to be able to hold in the pain, and how you were able to finally realize that you just can't bear it alone. You're not alone, Gray. I'm here. We're friends, aren't we?" She looked me in the eyes as her pinkish lips curved into a sweet smile.

Her words lit up the dark world I've been living in and yet pride just got the best of me. I quickly averted her gaze and settled my eyes on the ground. "S-shut up… Why are you being so nosy? I-it's none of your business." I mumbled, hiding the light taints of red on my cheeks. Deep inside, I'm very much grateful that she's here with me right now. If it weren't for her I'd—

"Sorry." Lucy spoke out, cutting my trail of thoughts. She stood up and turned her back on me but not before flashing me a faint smile. She clasped her hands behind her back and gazed up at the azure sky. I know that gesture. She's forcing herself not to cry. "I think I said too much. I won't bother you again so—"

My body acted on its own. I just felt the sudden urge to hold her in my arms. Next thing I knew, she was in my tight hold and my eyes were heating up already. "Stay." That's all I was able to say, more like I was begging her to stay. Thankfully, she did what I wanted. The tears I've been holding up escaped from my eyes but for some reason it didn't bother me anymore. I really didn't care.

I gritted my teeth, disappointed with myself for carelessly allowing my tears to flow. But... it felt good... to finally have someone I can cry on. I tightened my embrace around her as I yelled out the pain stinging my heart. She just patted me in my back and patiently stayed with me, listening to all my complaints without even saying a word.

"I don't know what I would do without you, Luce." I gave her a smile, not minding how my face shows how uncool I am as of the moment with my tear-streaked face.

Lucy widened her eyes a bit with the way I called her. "Luce?" she asked, receiving a hesitant nod from me short after. "I like it, Gray!" I'm surprised to see her smile like that. "Sorry for meddling in too much."

I shook my head rapidly. "I'm sorry for being so mean. I... kinda let my emotions get the best of me. You're right, I was being stubborn. But, Lucy, thank you."

"Don't worry. You're not alone. Cry all you want." She held the arms that encircled her gently, her words were like some sort of incantation that just made me cry aloud.

But… I don't care anymore…

I cried 'til I was satisfied, dad. I'm sure you were so proud of me back then. I finally let it all out. And she was right. It did feel good afterwards. The feelings I kept all to myself, finally being able to let them out put my heart at ease. But, I guess that's just part of the reason why I felt so good back then. Lucy… no words can describe my gratefulness for her.

The feeling of happiness I had that time slowly drifted away when I pulled away from her after crying. Her dress was soaked with tears, my tears. I panicked but she just laughed it off with a smile. Dad, I never thought a smile could warm up someone's heart to that extent…

Since that day, I didn't hide all my feelings anymore. I was true to myself. I always had the confidence to voice my feelings out. But, I didn't cry anymore, more like I found no reason to cry for Lucy is here with me. No matter how hard my problems were, knowing I have her with me left me with no reason to cry. She's my strength, the reason behind my brightest smiles, the reason for the happiness I'm having, my inspiration and yet at the same time she's the reason behind my biggest frown…

Now, did I just say I didn't hide all of my feelings? Well, true it is dad, except for one…

"Hey, Gray?"

I averted my gaze from the homework I was doing to my overly depressed brother who lay like a dead person on my bed, like a corpse deprived of his living soul. "What?" What's up with him recently? He's been sulking a lot, at most times he's physically present and mentally absent. Just what the hell is his problem?

"What would you do if…" his arm travelled to cover his face and his voice turned softer for each word he spoke.

"If?" I gave him a raised brow since I was getting impatient with him.

"Nevermind…" he sighed and sat himself properly but his face was still as down as ever.

I creased my brows and gave him a look. "What the hell is your problem?" I blunted out, finally voicing out my thoughts earlier.

Lyon threw his head face first onto his rather, MY pillow and uttered incoherent words. Like I care about his problems in life. Soon after though, he lifted his head up a bit and gave me a side glance. "Why you of all people?" he mumbled but it was loud enough for me to hear.

"HAAH?" I grunted out. Now what is he getting at? "What about me?"

Before Lyon could voice out his response, Ultear came knocking on the door. "GRAY! Lucy is here to see you~!"

Just the sound of her name made me feel like my heart just skipped a bit and I hate it, hating it more every single day. Dad, care to know why? Of all people, the girl I'm trying so hard not to like is in love with my brother, the brother I've always admired and held dear.

The door came bursting open to reveal Lucy with an excited grin plastered on her face. She took me by surprise by giving me a big bear hug. "Gray! It's been so long! I missed you!"

My face got hotter by the minute and I could hardly breathe properly from the sudden contact between us. I can smell her sweet fragrance, the smell of lavanders that suits her kind nature perfectly. "C-can't b-breathe…" I reasoned out to make her release me from the hug that almost made my heart jump out from its cage.

"Sorry!" Lucy clasped her hands together in front of her to give me an apology. Her eyes then scanned the room and landed on none other than Lyon who was giving out a faint smile. Weird… "Lyon-kun, hear me out!" she excitedly marched her way towards the said guy and held his hands between her tiny ones.

"What, Lucy-chii?"

"Papa says I can go to the same school as you guys from now on!" she happily exclaimed.

Lyon's face brightened up and soon it was Lucy's turn to be hugged, not by me though, instead by Lyon. "Really?" he asked as he twirled her around in his arms. "Really? Really? Reaaaallllly?"

All Lucy could do was nod happily in Lyon's tight embrace. I felt the stings all of a sudden. It was as if my heart was slowly being shattered into pieces. I know very well. I'm aware of the mutual feelings they have for each other. But…

Lyon gently settled Lucy on the ground with a thud that caught me off-guard. When I looked up, Lucy was only inches away from me, wearing the same bright smile that never fails to lighten me up all the time. "Gray?"

I gulped hard, clearing my throat to make sure I don't stutter when I give her a response. "Y-yeah?" Great, I tried so hard not to but my voice was really shaky and my cheeks were fuming hot from the proximity between us.

"From now on…" she took hold of my hands and smiled wider.

"…take care of me, okay?" I can still remember her last words back then like it was just yesterday.

Dad, it was perhaps the most beautiful thing I have ever seen. It was such a warm feeling and I can't help but smile back despite the fear of falling for that girl even more. I knew since then what I'd like to protect the most. It's Lucy. Lucy and her beautiful smile, the smile of my best friend, my beloved, my angel – the only girl I'll ever love. It's that smile that saved me from drowning in despair and anguish. And it's that very smile I'll never be able to attain for my own.

Take care of her? I would, definitely. I'd do anything. Even if it meant suffering alone. She was there to comfort me with all my troubles before but now it's different. This is something I can never tell. This is the sole feeling I can never let her know. Dad, just what am I supposed to do?

I love her for reasons unknown. All that is known for me is that these feelings of mine will never be reciprocated for all she can see in her eyes is Lyon, my brother, your son. It hurts Dad. And it gets worse every single day.

I used to get everything I wanted, even when not needed. And now all I could ever wish for is something so near yet still so out of my reach.

-End-

A/N: Sorry, kinda rushed up the last part. My guardians kept on insisting that I visit a doctor xD so that's pretty much it. I'll be leaving for now and I'll be editing this in a while if you'd like to. I hope this chapter can make up for not uploading the next chapter.

Please do state your reviews and opinions. I'd really appreciate it :')

You're free to criticize but please go easy on me. ^^" I'll be working on the next chapters everytime I get the chance to. Gambarimasu! :')