Author's note: You guys have a strange obsession with Medic and lubricants, I just want you all to know that! You know, one of the most difficult parts of writing this story is writing from Scoutbot's POV. He has no facial expressions, no heart to beat faster, and can't smell or feel hot or cold. It's actually quite a challenge to get his body language right. Ah well, I did my best. Now let's see what happens next...
Saving Private Soldierbot
Chapter Six: Seeing Red
Scoutbot threw himself into a cheap plastic chair opposite the robot head and put his feet up on the metal cabinet next to him.
"Ok, dude, here's how it's gonna work. You got a brain in there somewhere, an' I'm gonna teach you to use it. No more of that Maker shit..."
"All Hail the Maker!"
"See, that's I mean! That stuff's just fucked up. Anyway, he's dead."
"The...Maker...Error: Input is outside of acceptable reality."
"He's dead an' gone. I... uh..." Scoutbot paused. "...saw it happen. He was shot."
"The Maker must be repaired!" Eagle stated, his voice raising in pitch in a way Scoutbot hadn't heard before.
"No, dude, humans don't work that way. They can't be repaired like us." Scoutbot replied. "Anyway, he was bad to the bone. A bad man."
"He was...Error...Beep..."
"Cut out that beep boop crap. Listen: he wanted to take over the world, and he used robots, you, to kill people who got in his way. He killed my Maker." Scoutbot felt his hands clench as he remembered Gray Mann casually shooting Violet Engineer just because of an argument. Because he could.
"The Maker cannot die!" Eagle wailed.
"He can, and he did. They both did. There's no Maker any more, you don't have to do what anyone tells ya to."
"Error: Command needed."
"It's not needed!" Scoutbot leapt to his feet and leant over the robot earnestly. "My Maker never had to tell me what to do. He let me choose, 'cos he was cool. Sure, there were rules and stuff and I could get into trouble, but it was up to me, y'know?"
Eagle was silent. Scoutbot looked at him closely, trying to decide if he was thinking or had broken down somehow. He waved a hand in front of the robot's helmet.
"Dude? You still there?"
"I am sad." Eagle declared suddenly.
Scoutbot stared back in surprise and shock. "Hey what?"
"The Maker is broken and cannot be fixed. I am sad."
"Oh. Yeah, I get that." Scoutbot said slowly. "But now, you got me. You traded up."
"You are not a Maker."
"Nah. I'm a robot. Just like you."
"Statement incorrect. Warning: Unit Scoutbot, name unknown, rank unknown, is missing correct identification markings."
"Uh...what did all that mean?"
"Warning: Unit Scoutbot, name unknown, rank unknown, is missing correct identification markings." Eagle said patiently.
"In English, dude."
"Warning: Unit Scoutbot, name unknown, rank unknown, is missing correct identification markings."
"Ah jeez. This gets old fast. Hang on, markings...you mean I'm painted wrong?"
"You are #65336c." Eagle stated. "Scoutbots are to be sprayed with colour code #5885A2, accentuating colour #B88035."
"Colours...you mean I'm purple? Yeah, that's how I was made." Scoutbot looked at his violet body thoughtfully. "Guess it'll do. Never thought too much about it. Hey, what's your favourite colour? Mine's green."
There was a pause, and Eagle's blue glow faded for a moment. "My favourite colours are #5885A2 and #B88035."
"Bullshit!" Scoutbot replied. "Look, most humans are some sorta boring dull pink or brown colour. Don't think any of them say that their skin colour is their favourite colour! They choose one they like."
"I...I...like..." Eagle stuttered, his light fading again, "...Beep...Error...Algorithm is outside designated operating system...data corrupt...data...processsssiiiinnnnggg...".
"Hey, you ok?" Scoutbot asked, suddenly worried and placing his hand on top of Eagle's helmet.
"...innng... innng..." Eagle slurred. "I...I...like #ff0000. I like... red."
"Damn," Scoutbot said softly, "I know that was tough, but you gotta fight it. Feels good to decide for yourself, huh?"
"I like red." Eagle replied firmly. "I like it. That is the colour I like. It is red."
"Yeah, yeah, I get it..."
"I like red!" Eagle shouted.
"This is a big thing for you, huh?" Scoutbot said thoughtfully. "I guess...that kinda makes sense. Hey, why don't we find out what else you like or don't like?"
Again there was that pause and Eagle's lights dipped and brightened again. "I would like that." He said, his voice rising from its usual flat tone in eagerness.
Over the course of the next hour, Eagle decided he liked dogs and birds but disliked cats (Scoutbot doubted the robot had ever met any animal, but just nodded.) He liked 'shiny things', the seaside, and having a good, steady power supply. Scoutbot remembered what he had been singing when they had first met, and taught him the correct words to the Star-Spangled Banner (first verse only...he could never remember the others). Eagle begged him to sing it over and over again until Scoutbot eventually told the robot he was getting really really bored of it.
"What is 'bored'?" Eagle asked.
"Uh..." Scoutbot thought, trying to figure out how to explain this one. "I guess it's doing something over and over that you don't want to do. Or when nothin's happening that's interesting."
"My container is boring." Eagle declared. "It is dark and quiet."
"How long have you been there anyway?"
"Computing...internal chronometer indicates 11 months, 2 days, 5 hours, 46 minutes, 5 seconds."
"Shit. They locked you away for nearly a year?! Dude, how did your power not run out sooner?"
"Hibernation mode is engaged when visual and/or sound events are not recorded for 15 minutes."
"Oh, right. I can shut down if I feel like it. Nothin' makes me shut down, though. I sometimes do when recharging 'cos it's fucking boring just sitting still." Scoutbot stopped awkwardly, looking at the headless robot. "Uh, sorry dude. Why were you locked in here anyway?"
"The thin striped human disabled me with an electromagnetic pulse device. Then, the small human with the hard yellow skull removed my head and brought it here."
"Who... oh... So...Spy sapped you, and then Engineer brought you here? Why didn't he bring your arms and legs along?"
"Error: data missing."
"You could just say 'I don't know.'"
"I don't know." Eagle said obediently.
"What did..." Scoutbot paused, one hand clenching. "What did Engie do to you?"
"The small human with the hard plastic head performed standard diagnostic routines to check for data corruption and connected me to a secondary power source. After a period of 17 days, 5 hours, 3 minutes and 55 seconds, he presented me to the faceless rubber human, the small purple human, the thin striped human, the human in the white dress, the two identical juvenile humans, the long thin human, the large human, the one-eyed human and the eyeless human with the metal head. They spoke in loud voices and then I was put back in the cupboard and engaged hibernation mode."
"So...he shoved you in a box for three weeks, and then showed you off to the guys? And he never told me about it?"
"Error: Dat...I don't know."
"None of them told me. Not a fucking one." Scoutbot murmured. "Not even Bobby and Rick. Jeez." He sat back suddenly, his back hitting the chair with a metal clang.
"Name Unknown is sad."
"I told you, my name is Scoutbo... ah, who gives a damn. Yeah. I thought I... ugh, forget it. Look, I better go. I'll set the battery to charge before I leave so you got some power tomorrow, ok? And I'll try to find some shit to bring along that'll stop you getting bored."
"Faeces are not interesting." Eagle stated.
"No, I mean...stuff. I dunno, something fun for you."
"You will come back?" Eagle asked plaintively.
"Yeah, I'll come back. I'm not leavin' you here. No way." He promised, curling his hands into fists in determination. He stood up and started to leave, and then turned back. "I'm not like those other guys."
"Hey, fishy."
"Fishy fishy. Jacques, you there?" Scoutbot sprinkled some fish flakes into the water, watching them float for a few moments before sinking into the still sea water. "Dude, I gotta talk to you. C'mon, it's not day yet, you can't be asleep."
The water erupted like a geyser and Jacques burst to the surface, scrambling out of the water and onto the pebbly beach, tentacles writhing in dismay.
"Mon dieu!" He said, holding his nose and wafting the air. "What is that sstinking rubbish you put in the water?! Ugh."
"It's ok, it's just fish food." Scoutbot explained, waving his hands soothingly. "I thought you'd like it. Well, I thought you'd notice it, anyway. Ok, ok, I admit I was just dicking you around. Look, I want to ask you some stuff. Hey...you ok?"
Jacques had curled up with a hand over his mouth and was making retching noises. He gulped, closed his eyes and took a few deep, steady breaths. Scoutbot patted him on the back, but Jacques waved him away with a hand. After a moment, he gave a deep sigh, wrapping an arm around his stomach.
"I have felt ssick all day. The ssmell of that vile product was a little too much." Jacques explained sadly. He heaved again and took another deep breath, his gills showing their red lining for a moment. "I think I may have caught sstomach flu."
"Like I said before, you oughtta go see the Doc." Scoutbot said in concern. "Maybe you could try Albrecht. He's not so bad. I mean, he's as crazy as the rest, but he hangs around with Tiny Vlad, so I guess he's better with, uhh..."
"Tentacled freakss?" Jacques finished wryly.
"Wasn't gonna say it, but yeah."
"Sso tactful."
"You want me to get you anythin'? Like an alka-seltzer or aspirin, or whatever?"
"Non merci. However, it is kind of you to offer. I think the besst cure is resst." The Spy dipped a tentacle into the water, and then slid back in to the sea.
"Ok, if you're sure." Scoutbot said. "Look, I wanted to ask you about...about what I found in hardhat's old workshop."
"Ah, you found it?" Jacques asked eagerly.
"If by it you mean a robot's frickin' head, then yeah." Scoutbot said, waving his arms about as a sudden wave of frustrated anger overtook him. "He was left switched on in a cupboard. I mean, what the fuck?! Why was he left there?"
"I wassn't there, but I am a copy of Violet Ssspy- albeit it a very changed one- and I know his thoughtss at the time." Jacques said, fiddling idly with a pebble. "They were the only oness left who could fight. They were exhausted. They were dessperate. The robotss were attacking everywhere and it felt like the end of the world was coming."
"So they took it out on him by lockin' him up?"
"No, not at all." Jacques said, waving a clawed hand in dismissal. "I won't bore you with the mathematicss, but what they learnt from ssstudying the robot enabled them to find and attack Gray Mann and win. If not for that captive Ssoldierbot, they would have losst. I would not exist- you would be piecess in a workshop, and Gray Mann would be ruling the world."
"Ok, ok, I get it. Bad shit happens in wars. I know that. But why did they just leave him there?"
"Overssight, I believe." Jacques said simply. He squirmed uncomfortably and rubbed his stomach. "It was forgotten in the russh of victory. I had forgotten all about it until we sspoke the other night. "
"If it'd been a human head he'd not have been forgott... What's so funny?"
"I guesss you have not heard that sstory. I will tell you all about it ssometime." Jacques said, snorting with mirth. He suddenly turned melancholy and swirled his tentacles in the water, swishing them back and forth idly. "You are right, though. It is...sso easy to believe you are a model of tolerance when you are one of the lucky majority. And yet, flip the coin, ssee the undersside, and you will learn that you treated all those different to yoursself as alienss."
"Huh? What's all that faggy shit about?"
"Mon dieu. Why do I have to deal with sssimpletons? I mean I agree." Jacques added with a sigh. "Sso, what sstate is this robot head in? Did it have any power left?"
"That's the thing, dude. He's...well, kinda dumb, but he can think. Like, properly and stuff!" Scoutbot started to explain the events of the last couple of nights, arms moving jerkily with enthusiasm. As he talked, Jacques' glowing yellow eyes widened with surprise, and the patches of hairless blue skin where his eyebrows should have been hitched up his head.
"Asstonishing." He said at last, quickly dipping under the water and rising again, rivulets running off his skin in streams. "You have achieved a lot, mon ami. What do you intend to do with thiss 'Eagle' of yourss now?"
"Not a fucking clue." Scoutbot slumped over suddenly. "I...guess I'm gonna work it out as I go along."
"Do you intend to tell Engineer Dell?" Jacques asked in a neutral tone.
"I dunno." Scoutbot said, waving a hand helplessly. "I mean, he left Eagle there, right? But...he's been good to me. But is that just 'cos he kinda made me? I... guess I feel pretty pissed at him right now, but I dunno if that's fair or not. Does he give a damn about other robots? I mean, would he just decide Eagle was dangerous and shut him down? Fucked if I know the answers."
"I ssee no clear path." Jacques confessed. "Perhapss it is best if you ssee how far you can get on your own, and then sshow Engineer your work, once you have enough to impresss him?" The transformed man discretely covered his mouth, burped and gave a nauseated moan.
"Woah, you know what? I reckon I should leave you alone so you can rest." Scoutbot said quickly, scrambling out of range. "Anyway, if you puke on me, I'll rust. Hope you feel better soon, dude."
"Mmm." Jacques said, closing his eyes slowly and swallowing. "I think you're right. I will go and get some sssleep. Hopefully I will feel better tomorrow."
"Go to the fuckin' Doc if you don't, ok? And thanks for listenin'."
"Au'voir then, my metal friend."
Jacques vanished under the sea. A clawed hand shot out of the water and waved, and then Scoutbot was left alone on the pebbly shore.
In Chapter Seven: Engineer loses his temper, and Scoutbot makes a bad mistake...