ONLY WHEN THE TUNNEL IS DARKEST CAN THE LIGHT COME AGAIN

I've never felt as helpless as I do in this moment as I wipe the blood from Gabrielle's hands she's lying on one side of my bed under a fur skin completely naked but unmoving. The stitches start at her collar bone and go right down in between her breasts they stop just under her ribs. It looks horrific and none of its healed but its only made worse by the half healed scars on her face, arms and legs. She's so white and I can hear her breathing it's so shallow as though every breath is a struggle as it leaves her lips. She hasn't moved and I can't see anything getting better but then maybe I want too much, I wouldn't have survived that fall but she did and she might have been fine if Adrienne hadn't put that weapon through her chest. Maybe we'd be talking over a drink right now if this hadn't happened. We aren't though instead I'm watching her rest and feeling the tension mounting I know why I feel this way its because I love her, yes I love her so damn much and I haven't told her and now I'm regretting it deeply. She could die at any moment I know that she's now clinging to life with every breath she takes and it's so painful to watch.

Once again I misjudged werewolves, I thought that room was safe I thought I did every thing right I put in all the guards needed I laid out the rich food hoping it would weigh Adrienne down but it didn't. I never thought for a second that her ultimate act of spite would be to push Gabrielle out of the window rather than lay down in defeat as a warrior should. I will never make this mistake again Adrienne will be the first and the last werewolf to ever harm Gabrielle, no werewolf will ever be able to breach my walls again I'll make sure of it, Gabrielle will not pay the price again because I wasn't thinking ahead. I will rethink every room in my palace and even rebuild sections if it means containing werewolves who had no honour. Xena took in a deep breath running her hand down Gabrielle's arm hearing her breath out sharply and with great difficulty she looked around as a knock sounded on the door she eyed the bloody cloth in her hand as she spoke. "Come in." The double door opened as Phantasos walked in through closing the doors carefully behind him.

He was carrying a bowl filled with a thick paste and a water skin filled with something he looked down sadly as he spoke. "I have everything that's needed." Xena turned slowly to meet his concerned gaze. "Do you know that it'll work, I assume your using human medicine?" Phantasos put the bowl down on the bedside table opposite her. "It should do its werewolf medicine." Xena blinked in surprise. "Where in Tartarus did you get werewolf medicine from?" Phantasos looked at her for a long moment before speaking. "In my sessions with Gabrielle early on, she told me not only about herbs that can kill werewolves but also herbs that can cure her race." Xena blinked. "She just told you this, just like that?" Phantasos eyed the thick paste which smelt really awful and contains herbs which would be poisonous to any normal person. "Yes she was honouring the arrangement you both laid out, there was a lot she told me and a lot she didn't. I've always felt that she told me this as you might see it as her being very forthcoming." He put a hand on Gabrielle's forehead which was now burning hot, she was starting to run a high fever, clearly her healing ability hadn't kicked back in fully yet.

This was very troubling as the other werewolf Adrienne who he'd put this healing paste on after getting off all her armour was started to heal but very slowly although her serious head wound hadn't healed at all. He could only assume that in Gabrielle's case her wounds not healing was due to the wound being close to her heart as it had cracked her ribs and punctured her lung. The only theory he could come to was that her healing ability was focused on her chest, lungs, and nothing else as means to save her life. She was in for a very rough night of that he was certain and nothing was going to get better until her fever broke. Xena picked up the paste bowl smelling it she looked up sharply. "This has Corn Cockle in it, this is poisonous!" Phantasos took the bowl from her hand. "Yes to us it is, but not to werewolves, don't ask me how to explain it because I wouldn't know how, all I know is that this helps to heal wounds." He slowly began to spread the thick paste on Gabrielle's wounds rubbing it in deeply. Xena folded her arms feeling the need to change the subject. "Do werewolves have a five chamber heart?" Phantasos didn't look up as he carried on rubbing in the paste. "Yes they do, I assume its helps them heal better than us, but again I don't fully understand the workings off it."

Xena lowered her gaze to the floor. "How do you know this?" Phantasos shook his head sadly. "When I mounted Damokles's body it had all internal organs inside it I learnt a lot about werewolves due to this." Xena narrowed her gaze. "Does Gabrielle still visit you, I know she visits Phrixus?" Phantasos looked down sadly. "No she won't visit me anymore she said I didn't respect her as a human being and that I only saw her as my pet project, I think its more than that though personally even though she won't say it. I think it's because I mounted Damokles's body and every time she sees me that sticks in her mind, I've been told by a few people in the palace that even though he's gone she still loves him and some nights she visits his grave and lays flowers on it. True I didn't kill him but I was part of the whole ordeal and it must be difficult for her to handle. Before this happened I was going to visit her to say sorry for what happened and for what I did to his body." Xena put a hand on her face trying to ignore the pain in heart as she spoke. "It sounds as though we both have things we need to tell her."

Phantasos eased up the cover spreading the paste on the long stitched wound on the blonde woman's chest rubbing it in deeply before laying the fur cover back down carefully. "She has the beginnings of a high fever, once she gets over it that she's heal up very quickly I think. No doubt when she fully awake and coherent we'll both get our chance to speak to her." He put the bowl down wiping his hands with a cloth hearing a much sharper breath come out of Gabrielle's throat. His eyes darted as he saw her body tense sharply clearly something was going wrong he watched as the Empress moved closer her blue eyes filled with panic. He leaned forward watching as her the younger woman's breath came again even sharper, she was clearly having problems breathing. He took hold of her face under the chin carefully opening her mouth seeing that her tongue hadn't moved so the problem had to be lower in her throat. Xena watched as Gabrielle's body tensed again. "What's going on?" Phantasos breathed in. "She's got something stuck deep in her throat." Xena eyed him as much as he was a healer she knew how to fix this she'd done it more than once on the battle field. "I can get rid of it, I've done it before." Phantasos eyed her. "What are you going to do?" Xena eyed him. "I'm going to make her sick it'll force what ever is in her throat out, get me some salt and water."

8

Darkness its all around me like a vast ocean, but unlike most times I've been in the dark where it has been cold and bitter this is warm and comforting I can even feel the warm breath and hear the gentle sound of my own heartbeat, it's blissful and deeply calming. Gabrielle opened her eyes realizing that she was face down in warm soft sand, the kind that you see on beaches. The air around her was warm and she could smell jasmine flowers which were scattered around her in places their flowers open to the night air. She felt her fingers grip the sand as she closed her eyes drinking in the moment of utter bliss which she didn't want to end. She wasn't afraid even though she had no idea where she really was although a part of her knew already though she didn't want to admit it to her self she was close to touching the heavenly eye of Ouroboros. Maybe she should feel a deep sadness knowing that but strangely she didn't it felt fine to her maybe because for once she was truly at peace and it was a feeling she had missed so much. She raised her hand seeing the white shirt on her body whose silver embroidery shimmered in the moon light along with the silver patterns on her dark trousers belt and boots. She turned over on to her back looking at the dark sky, with its glowing stars she turned her head watching as a dark sea came in to view close by its gentle waves lapping against the shore she could see fishing boats docked and close by was vineyard with a large villa and far off in the distance a white city. She recognised the lay out it was Apollonia. She put her hands behind her head folding her knees as she looked up at the sky again she had no idea why she was here but in truth she didn't care she just wanted to stay now.

"This is not your centre of peace of Gabrielle, you're not meant to be here."

Gabrielle turned watching as silver light burst through the darkness as her goddess appeared above her causing the sand to be blow all around her before it came down gently caressing the beach. Unlike the last time they'd met she could see the huge body floating up in the air above her. There weren't any wings only long scaly back legs and front legs which were similar to that of a Chinese dragon's except they had four claws in stead of three. A huge long flowing tail was wrapped a looped around itself and a thick white mane of fur went down the whole body at the very end was a long silver and white tail tip which shimmered in the darkness. The snout was just above her head as the glowing green eyes looked down at her intensely. She lay perfectly still not wanting to move as she met her goddess's gaze. "What do you mean it's not my mine? I'm dying this is my heaven I can have what ever I want, can't I?" Ouroboros shook her head as she flicked out her tongue. "This isn't your illusion it belongs to you and yet it doesn't."Gabrielle eyed her goddess. "I mean no offence but you are not making any sense." Ouroboros moved her head looking around her. "This illusion belongs to a counterpart who is you and isn't you whose led a very different life to yours, this is her dream." Gabrielle shrugged. "Then she has good taste, it's not something I would have thought about a villa and vineyard by the sea in Apollonia."

Ouroboros breathed in deeply. "You're drifting Gabrielle that's why you here, you're not dead or alive you're at a crossing and I came to take you back its not your time and our deal is not done." Gabrielle lay still not wanting to move. "Go back for what, to be betrayed by the council what's the point in that? Or should I go back again so another werewolf can throw me out of a palace window, I fail to see the point? You know I have never questioned your plan for me but I am now, why do you make me suffer in your name, what's your point?" Ouroboros turned eyeing the scenery around her. "Oh Gabrielle you do not see, you want to see but you just can't open your eyes wide enough maybe that's why you're here to see the opposite of yourself and the person you are and yet aren't." Gabrielle narrowed her gaze. "You know I'm not good with cryptic riddles, can you please at least give me something more than that." Ouroboros felt a smile form. "No but she can maybe she'll answer your questions for you." Gabrielle looked sharply watching as green smoke appeared forming a large wooden oval which had Greek warrior figures carved in to its surface that were fighting each other. Woven in to it was silver metal with an odd jagged design with green stones at the bottom of the circle was a wooden carving of a horned wolf and at the top was a round symbol one which represented some kind of odd round weapon which she'd never seen before. Green branches were growing outwards around the wood, long knife like blades of steel were wrapped around them at the edges and green and blue light was blasted outwards from the centre.

She felt herself freeze as some ones boot appeared coming through the swirling green and blue light she sat up feeling herself tense as the dark brown boot which had a sai blade tied in to it appeared fully followed by a leg. She blinked as a light brown skirt came in to view which was cut on both sides and had a decorative darker brown belt which had Amazon designs on it. A trimmed well muscled waist appeared followed by the hands which had dark brown wrist gauntlets. A tight halter top appeared which was dark green but had a lighter green collar and was tied with leather thread in the centre. Her whole body froze as the face appeared as the person stepped through the strange portal fully. The blonde hair which was longer than her own was falling around the person's shoulders. She looked in to the face which was identical to her own apart from one big difference no scar on the eyebrow. The clothing was also very different she would never wear clothing like this, which was revealing as she didn't like people seeing her body. She carried on staring watching as her identical counterpart looked around as if unsure as to why she was here as well. She felt her hand move to her pocket as she pulled her ivory pipe out putting it in her mouth as she tried to make sense off what she was seeing. She put her hand on her face feeling the frustration at having no light.

She blinked in confusion as the pipe lit itself the black smoke drifting through the air. She looked at it not even bothering to comprehend what she was seeing as she breathed in hoping that it would settle her nerves. Her counterpart turned eyeing her unlike her reaction she was perfectly calm and unfazed by her presence as she walked forward eyeing the goddess behind her as she spoke in a calm voice. "Ouroboros?" Ouroboros looked up slowly as she drifted skyward so she high above her. "I'm not the one your looking for, you've taken a wrong turn this is not your world at least not the one you know we are just guests in the passing of a waves which will end soon." She watched as the counterpart looked down before looking up again the clear understanding in her eyes. Gabrielle watched as her calm counterpart came towards her then sat down close by, she breathed out the smoke from her pipe she was clearly waiting for an invitation of some kind. She eyed her a part of her was almost jealous what she wouldn't give to have her unscarred face, she put the pipe back in her mouth breathing it in. "My goddess told me that this is your illusion…its different." Her counterpart eyed her, her eyes filled with a deep curiosity. "Could you please put out your pipe?" Gabrielle eyed her before breathing out the smoke. "This is an illusion what do you care if I smoke, it's not even real?" Her strange counterpart folded her arms before speaking. "I'm pregnant."

Gabrielle coughed out the smoke painfully she didn't think as she shoved the pipe in to the sand dousing out the fire as she breathed what was left of the smoke in the other direction as she spoke. "Who's the father?" Her counterpart gave her an odd smile it was like a knowing smile which made no sense to her, she spoke adjusting her wrist gauntlet. "It very complicated lets just say I'm sure you know her." Gabrielle couldn't stop her laughter as it hit the air clearly this was a joke of some kind, she stopped as the other woman gave her a cold look. She narrowed her gaze before speaking. "Wait your serious aren't you?" Her counterpart looked up speaking in a serious tone filled with conviction. "Yes I am." Gabrielle eyed her. "So I'm guessing things don't work the same where ever you come from?" Her counterpart put a hand on her chin before looking up. "Our child was a mistake but a beautiful one brought about by the gods of Mexica." Gabrielle eyed for a long moment. "Clearly you do come from a different world, in mine the gods do not interfere or care for humanity." Her counterpart gave her wide smile filled with interest. "Yet your goddess is here interfering right now with your fate." Gabrielle followed her gaze to her shirt clearly she'd caught sight of the pendent around her neck and put two and two together. She could see that this woman was also much more open than she was but then she guessed that was due to her living a very different life. "I don't question my goddess's will I go with it, as I'm one of the few who gets to see a god if only very rarely."

Her counterpart sat back on the sand relaxing. "I see the gods all the time, Ares, Aphrodite it's a normal part of my life." Gabrielle put her pipe in her pocket. "I refuse to worship the love goddess she left me to rot as a teenager, so you'll excuse me if I show no kindness towards her." Her counterpart blinked in surprise. "She's my best friend." Gabrielle tensed eyeing her unable to keep the bitterness out of her tone. "Each to his or her own." She ignored her counterpart as she eyed her over catching sight of her ring on her hand she looked up meeting her gaze once more. "You're Horn Hind the werewolf king?" Gabrielle raised her hand eyeing her ring. "Yes, why are you I see that you have the same symbol on that strange portal you came out off." Her counterpart folded her legs. "I was once but not anymore, my lover was able to help me regain my humanity and we were both freed from the Titan armours, Horn Hind and Iseron." Gabrielle felt the confusion hit home. "Titan armours?" Her counterpart gave her a wide smile. "Yes the Titan armours isn't Horn Hind picked that way in your world by godly armours?" Gabrielle shook her head. "No you're just picked and I'm still a werewolf I have been since I was sixteen when I was taken from my home by slavers and given this scar on my eye for speaking my mind. Lucky for me a group of werewolves killed all the slavers but they bit me in process. Years later the old Horn Hind died and I grew horns and took his place. It must be comforting for you that you don't have to suffer you've clearly led a very nice life."

Her counterpart gave her a look of disgust before as she spoke. "My life has been anything but nice in places I've had to fight for everything and I have suffered but I've gotten to a point where I'm finally happy and I have what matters to me. It sounds as though your not there yet and you dislike all that's be fallen you in the past. I'm guessing it's the reason why you smoke I know where you are I've been there. It's just unlike you I used to drink to take away the pain." Gabrielle felt her anger start to burn as she looked up. "What do you have that's so special!?" Her counterpart jaws grinded together as she spoke with the same anger. "I have my lover Xena! Don't you have her to?" Gabrielle leaned forward as she raised her hand. "Wait your Xena's lover, Xena the Empress of Greece?" Her counterpart folded her arms again the curiosity in her eyes as she spoke. "No Xena Warrior Princess, we fight together help people the child I'm carrying is hers." Gabrielle blinked as she leaned forward. "No we aren't together we are just close friends and she wouldn't want me." Her counterpart raised both eyebrows. "You should be together it's your destiny." Gabrielle smirked as she eyed her. "Destiny I don't believe in destiny." Her counterpart shuffled slightly in the sand. "Why don't you believe in destiny?"

Gabrielle narrowed her gaze. "Because every choice in my life was never my own, so I doubt I can carve out a destiny that's mine." Her counterpart looked up slightly. "Why do you believe that your Xena wouldn't want you? "Gabrielle felt her hand form a fist. "Look at me!" Her counterpart's face slowly formed a knowing smile. "I am looking at you, I see myself a different self but still myself so what's the real reason?" Gabrielle eyed her, her counterpart could see right through her and that was really unnerving she turned to look at the sea. "I've done terrible things, which give me horrible nightmares I killed a lot of innocent people once and I hate myself for doing it. I don't think the Empress of Greece would love some one like that. I've been a warrior for many years but that part of my life had no honour." Her counterpart blinked in surprise. "Funny in my world it's Xena who used to believe that about herself she was once a warlord who did terrible things." Gabrielle turned slowly to her. "Then knowing that how do you forgive her for that? Doesn't it disgust you that so many innocents died at her hand in the ultimate act of dishonour?" Her counter part eased out her hand. "When you love you some one you forgive them and help them to forgive themselves."

Gabrielle felt a sad smile form as she eyed her counterpart. "Funny the Xena I know is just like you, kind, caring she has never done anything dishonourable she rules the Greek Empire peacefully I'm the unworthy one." Her counterpart narrowed her gaze. "Do you have feelings for her I mean do you love her?" Gabrielle eased up the sand in her hand watching as it ran through her fingers. "Yes I do but she'll never love me not if she knows the truth about me, in fact I'm surprised you're not judging me after what I've just said." Her counterpart looked at her for a long moment before speaking. "I have no right to judge you I have done terrible things myself and I won't think any less of you for anything you've done. Have you ever heard the myth of soul mates in your world?" Gabrielle picked up more sand she was now even more confused she watched as it spilled through her fingers as she spoke. "Yes I have I don't believe in that myth, I never have." Her counterpart smiled wildly. "Maybe you should, it might chance your perspective." Gabrielle breathed in deeply. "I wish I had your confidence."

She watched as Ouroboros suddenly came downwards she turned as everything around her started to shimmer as if the illusion was breaking oddly her counterpart seemed completely calm despite this. Her goddess turned to her. "Its time to wake up now and open your eyes" Gabrielle felt the sudden agonizing pain in her chest she put a hand on it trying to take it as her goddess spoke again. "You have to wake up now Gabrielle no matter how much it brings you pain. This is not your world or your time and its time for you to return and for fill your destiny." Gabrielle winced painfully as everything around her faded in to darkness she closed her eyes as the pain got worse it felt like she couldn't breath her lungs were burning and her heart was pounding in her ears she wanted to pass out just to end the pain which was becoming unbearable. She opened her eyes trying so hard to stay awake but realized that it was completely pointless all she could do was submit and pass out she closed her eyes feeling herself sink in the darkness once more as she hit the floor hard on her back tasting salt and water in her mouth.

8

Xena watched as Gabrielle eyes snapped open she grabbed her as she violently shifted moving her head towards the bowl in her hand she breathed in sharply as blood poured in to the bowl along with a horrible white bile which was clearly from her lungs and had been causing all the problems deep down in her throat. She looked up as her wide green eyes opened wider but then began to close as the younger woman drifted back in to unconsciousness she eyed the bloody wooden bowl putting it to one side as she laid her back down the pillow wiping the blood away from her chin. Phantasos shook his head clearly the Empress had done this before though he had to say it was very risky but it had paid off in this instance as it had cleared Gabrielle's throat. He put a hand up hearing the unconscious woman breath in once more but this time it was much easier than before. He eased up the water skin close by passing it to the Empress. "Clearly you have done this before." Xena took the water skin. "I've spent a lot of time on the battle field sometimes you have to do things like this to save the lives of your warriors."

Phantasos eyed her he could clearly remember the day that she'd been brought in to his tent during the Spartan uprising she'd had an arrow in her chest and its point was very close to her heart there had been blood everywhere and she wasn't breathing properly. He had been a healer all of his life but that day had changed his life forever along with his career. Before that he had just been a paid to hire healer who went from battle to battle and place to place getting coin here and there when ever he could. He had never expected that the Empress of Greece would wind up in his tent yet there she was along with Demetrius. They'd both been separated from their unit and had spent two days lost on Mount Nessus on their journey down though they'd been caught off guard and surrounded by a group of Spartans a very bloody battle had taken place. They had both survived but a young archer had taken advantage of the situation and shot the Empress before being killed himself. The arrow was serious and he could still remember everyone's eyes on up on him as he'd stripped her off her armour and started work, the whole Greek Empire was suddenly in his hands and it was terrifying.

He'd tried a very risky method to get the arrow free he'd used tools to pull out the arrow head out he had only ever written about this method of getting out arrows he'd never done it in practise and it was a terrifying moment where he had risked everything on it working and it had much to his relief. It had been such a frustrating and scary moment before the point came free from her chest. The Empress was able to rest then fight the next day though even to this day she carried the scar from the ordeal it was a testament to his ability that she was alive and breathing and had survived a wound that most would have died from. She'd taken him on as her personal healer after that and after the Spartan uprising ended three months later they'd separated as she'd gone back to Rome his not coming with her was due to her husband who believed that his healers were better. He had been disappointed by this but wasn't to saddened by it as he now had fame and could now go places in Greece and learn new things. It had allowed him to travel for a few years and see places he had always to like the pyramids of Egypt and the Hanging Gardens of Babylon. He met many people and learnt many new things about healing and seen the things he wanted to.

On his return to Greece he had been sent a message that the Empress's husband had been killed and that she was returning to Greece it said that she wanted him back by her side as her personal healer. He had been more than happy to go back to her now strangle here stood with her helping her save a woman who she very clearly had feelings for, how strange the gods could be. He took in a deep breath watching as she sat down her eyes on Gabrielle the water skin still in her hand. "As soon as she wakes up again give her some of the medicine from that water skin, just be careful as it has Henbane in it and it may make her a little delirious despite that it'll help her heal. I'll come back tomorrow it seems as though you've got everything under control here." Xena put the water skin down opposite her nodding watching as he walked towards the double doors. She raised her hand sharply. "Phantasos?" Phantasos turned slightly as he opened the double doors that led out of her bedroom. "Yes Empress?" Xena breathed in deeply before speaking. "Thank you for saving Gabrielle's life, you prove once more that you are a truly gifted healer." Phantasos nodded respectfully as he turned to her. "Your welcome it is always a pleasure to serve you Empress." Xena watched as he left closing the doors behind him she stayed still sitting in the chair watching Gabrielle who was now breathing much better, tonight would be a long night she could feel it.

End of part 68

Silvermoonlight

I debated for the longest time about putting in the scene where Gabrielle crossed over with her counterpart from The Waking Light Series but in the end kept the scene as the character comparison is interesting and readers will get to read the reverse view point when I finish The Waking Light Book.