A/N I'm glad you all enjoyed Daryl's handling of a very nasty situation. This chapter starts out sweet enough, but dang, thanks to a guest request back at Chapter 17, things definitely take a wrong turn.
It had begun with a phone call one morning, and it was a good thing it was a day Edith was there to watch the children, because she and Maggie had been on the phone for more than an hour. They talked about what had happened with Maggie's ill-fated visit, and that maybe they were both ready to try again.
The most important thing to Beth was Maggie had apologized for the way she'd treated, and spoken about, Merle. Beth wouldn't allow her husband to be disparaged, as Maggie had done.
Maggie wanted to come for another visit, try again, see if they could be a family and Beth agreed. She'd love to have her sister back in her life. So plans were made, but Beth did tell Maggie she'd have to discuss it with Merle, and she'd be calling Maggie back in the morning.
She waited until they'd put the children to bed, and then spoke to her husband, "I had a phone call from my sister Maggie this morning," she began.
That got Merle's attention. He didn't say anything, just looked at her and waited for her to continue.
"She apologized for her behavior when she visited us, she admitted to being in the wrong, and she would like to try again. She wants to come for a visit," There, it was said.
"And what about you Darlin'? How da you feel?" His face gave no hint of his feelings.
"Maggie is my sister, the last of my Greene family. I would like to be able to have her be a part of my family again, but only if she can give you the respect you deserve. You're my husband, and you come first."
He nodded once and said, "She's yer sister Darlin', I can't tell ya not ta see her, not ta try this thing. My feelin's ain't that delicate, I ain't worried whether she likes me or not. But I can't have her upsettin' you. I think you should tell her ta come on if that's what ya want ta do, but what I'm tellin' ya Darlin' is, if I think for one minute she's got ya upset or unhappy in any way, I'ma put her ass on that bus back ta Michigan myself. Sound alright?"
"Yes Merle, and if I think for one minute that she's disrespecting you in anyway, or upsetting you, I'm going to put her fanny on that bus back to Michigan," and she smiled.
"Come 'ere and sit in her husband's lap you sweet thing," He was smiling broadly, and of course she did.
Maggie would arrive on a Wednesday and would leave on Sunday morning. Beth had planned it that way so she and Maggie would have time together while Merle was busy at the shop. And she had another motive, she figured the least amount of time Merle and Maggie spent together, the least likely there would be time for any confrontations. She couldn't deny she was nervous.
She'd even decided to invite Lori and Rick over for a cook-out on Saturday afternoon. She thought at least her husband would have another man there. He and Rick could go off in the yard, have a beer and talk sports and politics. And Lori was great at conversing with anyone, so she'd keep Maggie happy.
She just didn't know what more she could do to try and avoid problems.
Merle had noticed she was a bundle of nerves, and he tried to ease her anxiety, but he soon realized she wasn't going to get over it until the visit had come and gone.
Beth picked her up from the bus station at 2:00pm Wednesday. Maggie arrived in a cheerful mood, ready to make amends, and with gifts for the children, which of course immediately endeared her to Tommy.
"Where are my new niece and my handsome nephew?" Maggie inquired.
"It seemed easier to leave them with Edith while I came for you. You'll see them in just a few minutes," Beth smiled.
"Edith? Who's Edith?" Maggie asked.
'Oh, I'm sorry, I guess I've not mentioned her to you. I can't believe that. She's one of the most important people in my life; I don't know what I'd do without Edith. Merle hired her to help me when I was first pregnant with Suzy. She helps me with the housework, she helps so much with the children, and when I was pregnant, oh she was such a blessing, making sure I ate right, making sure I rested. Merle, the children and I, we all love Edith, she's a member of the family to us."
She'd be sharing Tommy's room and said she didn't mind at all. Beth could see her sister was going out of her way to be pleasant and agreeable.
Maggie admired the house and the way Beth had it decorated, there was new furniture since Maggie had been here the last time, new drapes, and rugs, and lots of family photos hung on the walls, including a beautiful family portrait over the fireplace.
Beth had nice clothes, Tommy and the baby had nice things, there was a brand new washer/dryer in the laundry room, there was a bathroom being added on the master bedroom, and Beth had a housekeeper.
There was simply no denying that Merle took very good care of her sister. She felt guilty for misjudging him, for jumping to all the wrong conclusions, and she told Beth that.
And what Beth said back surprised her, she didn't even know where the words came from, but she was glad they had come, because she said to her sister, "Maybe it's Merle you should be telling that to Maggie."
And that evening after dinner Maggie asked Merle if she could speak to him for a few minutes.
They stepped out on the porch and Merle asked, "What's on yer mind Maggie." Thoroughly expecting some negativity.
"I made a terrible mistake Merle. I misjudged you, I accused you of things I know now you would never be capable of, and I was mean and hateful. I see what good care you take of my sister. I wasn't there for her, I abandoned her. I'll never get over the guilt I feel about that. I'm so grateful that you have been there to care for her, to love her, and to give her such a nice life," she had tears in her eyes as she spoke to him.
"I ain't one ta worry much 'bout what anyone thinks a me, I just worry 'bout whether it upsets my wife. Ain't nuthin' on this earth more important ta me than that woman. As long as ya treat her and my children right, you an I ain't never gonna have a problem. I want my Beth happy, and she'd like ta have ya in her life, I s'pose it's up ta you ta make sure things get worked out. I ain't gonna stand in the way a that, and I ain't mad," And he simply held the door for her and they went back in the house.
The remainder of the visit went well, and the sisters definitely rekindled a relationship. For Beth, it would just never be the same as it once was, or the same as it could have been if she hadn't felt so abandoned by Maggie when she was alone on the farm with Joe. But at least it was something.
xxxx
It had been two weeks since Maggie's visit, and their life had gotten almost back to a normal routine, except Merle's work hours.
The shop was very busy with two new contract jobs, one for the highway department, and one for the power company. He told her after this initial restructuring period, and especially after he was able to hire a couple of new, qualified mechanics, things should ease up and he'd be able to get back to a regular routine.
In the meantime, he was going in early and working late. He'd been missing breakfast with the children, and often got home in the evening in just enough time to help tuck them in bed. He'd eat a warmed over supper before falling asleep, from sheer exhaustion, in his easy chair.
She worked hard at being the good wife, not complaining about his long hours, she knew he wanted to be home with her and the children, that because he worked hard like he did they got to live a very nice life. She remember what it felt like not to have enough to eat, how awful it was to feel that she couldn't take care of her child. So she just tried to support him, thank him and keep a smile on her face.
After all, he'd said they'd soon be back to a normal routine.
He'd stayed home Sunday and she was so relieved. He'd played with his children, they'd all had a picnic in the yard, and the two of them had been able to steal some time while the children napped, for catching up on much needed lovemaking and cuddling.
Monday morning was warm, but not too hot, a perfect day to take the children to the park for lunch. She made a pitcher of lemonade and poured some into a Thermos. She packed a picnic lunch of little sandwiches and sliced fruit for her and Tommy, some mashed peas and a banana for the baby, and a cookie for Tommy's dessert.
She loaded the picnic basket and Thermos in the car, got the children in and seated, and as she slid in behind the steering wheel she had an idea. Maybe Merle would be able to get away from the shop long enough to at least eat his lunch at the park with her and the children.
She'd just drive by the shop and check with him. Now she was really looking forward to this picnic.
She was only about a quarter block away when she spotted him standing outside near the shop door. But that wasn't all she saw. She slowed to a stop. There he was, with Carlotta. They were both smiling, engrossed in a conversation, then to her horror, her husband embraced that horrible woman, and the woman was hugging him back.
Was this the real reason for all the extra hours? He must be spending that time with Carlotta.
Beth felt her stomach lurch.
She quickly backed down the street the way she came, and turned back onto the main road.
She took a different route to the park.
She knew her hands were shaking, and she was on the verge of being sick, but she was trying to maintain some composure for the sake of her children.
She parked quickly when they reached their destination, and she practically jumped from the vehicle. She immediately threw-up, right there in the parking lot. Not once, but twice.
Tears were burning her eyes, she was shaking and she felt like she just wanted to run, run away from everything.
But she had her children to think of, she had to care for them. So she got the picnic basket and the Thermos from the car, she got the children from the car, and she tried to make it a fun outing for them. After the children enjoyed their lunch, she'd left hers in the basket, and Tommy had used up plenty of energy on the swings, the slide and the merry-go-round, she loaded the things and her children back in the car and drove home.
She bathed her children and laid them in their beds for a nap. She went in the living room, sat down, and immediately began crying uncontrollably. She'd been holding it in for a long time.
Nearly 30 minutes in she was finally able to calm herself down, at least enough to try and gather her thoughts. Then she began to think about her life, what she'd seen earlier, her children, her husband, and what she should do now.
She knew she and her children had a good life here with Merle. He was kind to her, good to the children. And she knew she would never be able to financially care for herself and her children the way she could as long as she continued to live with her husband.
She wasn't innocent to the ways of the world. She knew husbands sometimes strayed from home. She would never be the shapely, buxom woman that Carlotta was, and although she gave herself willingly to Merle, and tried to please him in bed, Carlotta was surely more of a skilled lover.
She knew she was a survivor; even Merle had reminded her of that on more than one occasion. That's what she needed to do now, she needed to survive. She needed him to care for her, to care for the children. And the truth was, in spite of everything, she still loved Merle. She would always love Merle and she simply didn't want to live without him.
So she would set about doing what she needed to do, she would be the good wife. She would try and turn a blind eye to his dalliance, and she would survive. She had to survive, she had two beautiful children who needed her, needed him.
He actually got home at a decent hour that evening. She was just finishing up with the dinner preparation when he came through the kitchen door.
He came up behind her like he always did, put his arms around her waist and kissed the back of her neck. She knew she was stiff as a board, completely unresponsive to his touch. She wanted to give in to his caress, but her mind, her body or both just wouldn't let her.
Of course he noticed immediately. "Sumthin' wrong Lil Darlin'?" she almost cringed when he called her that.
She did her best to sound pleasant, "No Merle, everything is just fine. The children and I had a very nice day."
He gave her a look like he knew she was being less than honest, but just said, "Oh yeah, what'd ya all do?"
Before she could respond Tommy piped up, "We went to the park Daddy, we had a picnic. Mama threw up." Children, they never miss a thing.
Now Merle was concerned, "Ya sick Darlin'? What's wrong?"
"I promise Merle, I'm fine it seems like something I had for breakfast just didn't settle. I think maybe that new tea I bought is just too strong."
He looked completely unconvinced, but he was going to drop it for now.
He went to the children and cuddled Suzy, asked Tommy about his day and what he did at the park. And Beth just breathed in deeply, trying so hard to act like everything was just wonderful.
He saw how she was shaking at dinner. She hadn't done that in a long time. The last time he could think of was when that problem had resurfaced. Once Daryl had taken care of it, he hadn't seen this shaking again. He also noticed she wasn't eating. It seemed like she was just moving the food around on her plate.
Something was going on, something she didn't want to tell him about. That concerned him and pissed him off. He'd get to the bottom of this once the children were in bed.
When the children were tucked in, and he was sure they were asleep, he got serious with her, "I want ya ta tell me right now Beth, what's goin' on?"
She looked at him like she was confused, "What's going on with what Merle?"
He was just plain frustrated with it all, "Ya can't seem ta respond ta my hug, yer shaking like a damn leaf, and ya didn't eat one bite a yer supper. Tommy said ya threw up. Now ya come on and tell me."
She said, "I'm sorry Merle, really, everything's fine. My stomach is just a little upset, that's why I couldn't eat."
"Okay, I'll drop it for now, but that don't mean I believe ya." And he turned on the radio and started listening to the news.
She was so relieved; she picked up the Ladies Home Journal magazine and pretended to read it.
Bedtime came and she took as long as was reasonably possible in the bathroom, but when she came out, he was sitting up in bed with the light on waiting for her.
She got in bed and he switched off the light.
He put his arm around her waist and began to kiss her neck, then her lips, and then his hand moved to her breast. She was submissive, she'd told herself she wasn't going to turn him away. But she just couldn't force herself to respond. He was tweaking her nipples and kissing her throat and nothing, just nothing.
That's when he jumped from the bed, flipped on the light and said, "That's it Beth, I been patient, I been tryin' ta be reasonable. But this here is the last fuckin' straw, I can't take this shit, I just can't! Now dammit, tell me what the fuck is goin' on, and you tell me NOW!"
She couldn't recall ever seeing him so angry. She could barely squeak it out, "I'm sorry Merle, I'm trying, I just well…" and then it happened, she lost control, the floodgates opened and the tears won out. She was right back to crying uncontrollably.
And he fell to his knees at the side of the bed, and he grabbed her and held her, and he said, "Ya got ta tell me Darlin', ya got to. I'm sorry I yelled, but I just can't stand ta know sumthin' is botherin' ya bad, an ya won't tell yer husband what it is."
And she said, "I promise Merle, I'm just going to let you go on like you have been, I'm not going to say anything, I promise I'm not, just please don't leave me and the children, please." And her tears were flowing, and he was more confused than ever.
"I don't know what yer talkin' about Beth. What the hell makes ya think I'd ever leave you and our children, what's goin' on woman, tell me now, ya got ta tell me," He was beside himself, and dammit, so was she.
But she told it, "I know about Carlotta, Merle. I'm going to accept it. You're a man, I understand. I'm not happy, but I need you, the children need you. I don't think I can make it on my own with two children, I could barely do it with one. I'll be as good a wife to you as I can be, I promise."
"Beth, Darlin', I got no idea what the fuck yer talkin' about. Shit, what is goin' on?" Merle was rubbing the back of his neck, head down, completely perplexed.
And she told him about going to the shop to take him on their picnic, and seeing him with Carlotta. "But I thought about it a lot Merle, and I know I have to just accept it."
And she thought his whole body turned red, he was so angry, yet he was trying to speak to her in a calm voice, "Beth, dammit, ain't nuthin' goin' on with me n Carlotta, for chrissake woman, she come by the shop taday, she apologized for everything that happened, said she didn't know what come over her. She told me she met a nice guy from Macon, she's gonna marry him Saturday and move down there with him. I wished her good luck and I give her a hug. That's it Darlin', that's all there was to it."
And he continued, "I ain't sure what hurts me more Beth, that you'd think I's messin' around with some other woman, any woman, or that you'd just say, 'Okay, go on and do that shit, I'm just gonna accept that cuz I need a man.' Beth, Darlin', first of all, I'm yer husband, I married ya cuz I love ya and I don't want no other woman. I told ya that then, and I'm remindin' ya now. Second off, why would ya sell yerself short like that? If a man was ta do that, he needs his fuckin' balls handed to him on a platter, 'scuse my language but that's just a fact. Damn woman, you deserve the world and don't ya ever even consider settlin' for anythin' less than my whole heart." He was looking right in her eye, and it was intense.
She threw her arms around him, "Oh God Merle, my heart was shattered. I just didn't know how I could live without you, I just love you so much. I was willing to put up with anything just because I don't think I could ever live without you. Not just because the children and I need you to care for us with food and a home, but because I need you Merle. I don't ever want to live without having you."
And this time she leaned in and she kissed him, and he responded to her touch.
A/N Geez, that was tough. I don't like that heavy sadness. Thank you for reading, please review xo